Family Feud, and the baby isn't even here yet

antibride2013 · February 2014

OP you stated yourself that YOU had a adult only reception, I bet there were a LOT of people pissed and hurt their kids weren't invited.

I don't get your logic. It seems like you realize the adult only party sounded GREAT at the time of your party, however now that you are a parent and you are having to deal with the same issue you put your guests through it has turned into a "slap in the face"?

crunchymamaof2 · February 2014

antibride2013 said:

OP you stated yourself that YOU had a adult only reception, I bet there were a LOT of people pissed and hurt their kids weren't invited.

I don't get your logic. It seems like you realize the adult only party sounded GREAT at the time of your party, however now that you are a parent and you are having to deal with the same issue you put your guests through it has turned into a "slap in the face"?

huskypuppy14 · February 2014

acove2006 said:

antibride2013 said:

OP you stated yourself that YOU had a adult only reception, I bet there were a LOT of people pissed and hurt their kids weren't invited.

I don't get your logic. It seems like you realize the adult only party sounded GREAT at the time of your party, however now that you are a parent and you are having to deal with the same issue you put your guests through it has turned into a "slap in the face"?

Maybe she didn't have any people that had children. Maybe there was no one in her wedding party that had kids. Regardless, it's not rude to not invite children even those children of people in the wedding party. However, though it's not against etiquette, I think it's a nice thing to try to accommodate and make exceptions for your wedding party, especially one that is traveling across the country.

I'm not going to touch the "exception" the OP made. Everyone else already covered it.

dolewhipper · February 2014

I'm having a kid-free wedding (technically 12 and under-free), with one of my closest BMs having a 10 month old at the time of our wedding. She was a bit surprised, but I told her family friends who I've known for a long time (technically in-laws of my favorite aunt) will be watching some of my other guests' children (all family) in the same hotel as my reception. She still said she probably wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him, but stated her hubby would probably decline his invite and stay with little Nick. To each their own.

We have told FI GM we are excited to see him and his daughter (will be 1 year) since they will be travelling cross country and making a vacation out of it. Even though I said that, they understand DD isn't invited. She will be invited to rehearsal and anything else before and after, however.

phira · February 2014

I'm also smelling a little MUD ...

Anyway.

1) It was a faux pas for the groom to tell your husband that the baby would be invited and then for you to be told the baby is not invited. It was also rude to send out a "no kids" email; they should have just addressed the invitations to just adults. These are pretty basic etiquette mistakes that the couple made.

2) If you've told the groom that you cannot attend if the baby cannot attend, and he and his fiancee aren't making an exception, then FINE. They don't have to make an exception for you. This is NOT an etiquette mistake.

3) Saying "no kids" does not automatically exclude parents. You will be breast-feeding, but many mothers do not (even if it weren't a choice, what do you think adoptive parents do?). So by saying, "No kids" and not making exceptions, the couple isn't suddenly uninviting half of each parental unit.

4) Your husband needs to decide if he wants to attend the wedding or not because you and your baby will not be attending. I strongly suggest having him make the decision (and being supportive of whatever he decides), and I strongly suggest that you assume no exceptions will be made. That is, if your husband says, "I can't attend because I will not leave my wife and baby," he needs to be prepared for the couple to say, "We're sorry you can't make it," and still not make an exception. It needs to be a decision, not an ultimatum to get his cousin to change his mind.

5) You committed a HUGE etiquette error when you didn't invite significant others to your wedding. Your exception that you've touted as a reason why an exception should be made for you right now? That shouldn't have been an exception. So while you're sitting here talking about how it's a slap in the face that they wouldn't invite your baby, you did something even more rude to other people when you were planning your wedding.

6) Wedding planning is stressful and everyone makes mistakes to varying degrees. Even if you do your best, you end up offending people even when you haven't made a mistake. I'm sure you experienced this. I do understand that your husband might not be okay traveling to this wedding when his child is not invited, but I do hope that both of you will be understanding considering what you know couples go through while planning a wedding. It's just one day, three at the most.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2014

I have a girl crush on @phira

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

KatWAG said:

PineapplePam said:

I'm going to consider that we were just raised differently and have different backgrounds of what is right and wrong here and disagree.

Let me guess, it's a regional thing?

It is. I've experienced this too. I'm going to be helpful instead of RUDE like everyone else on here and make a suggestion!

I think you are very close to the bride and groom? We are having a babysitter during the reception time in a separate room at the venue for children under the age of 14. Perhaps you could ask the bride and groom about arranging that? Then, their wishes are met with no children allowed, and your needs are met by attending the reception and being able to tend to your child when you want/child needs you.

Coming from a background where children were NEVER allowed at weddings and marrying into a family where children are ALWAYS at weddings, this was a great compromise and pleased everyone. Give it a try?

LizM61409 · February 2014

I don't have a great answer or anything, but excluding very young babies from weddings has always perplexed me. The worst they'll do is cry, which will disrupt your speshul day for approximately 20 seconds while the embarrassed parent makes an escape to somewhere where the crying isn't heard. They cost you NOTHING, and it can be difficult or impossible for parents to make other arrangements.

It makes sense why people wouldn't want a ton of toddlers or older kids running around, but I can't figure out how excluding infants makes your special snowflake of a day any perfect-er

wrigleyville · February 2014

Sugargirl1019 said:

Perhaps you could ask the bride and groom about arranging that? Then, their wishes are met with no children allowed, and your needs are met by attending the reception and being able to tend to your child when you want/child needs you.

No. It is not and should not be the B&G's responsibility to arrange for child care in addition to planning their wedding. Some people do out of the goodness of their heart, and yay for them, but nobody should ever ask the B&G to arrange this.

Children are their parents' responsibility, not the B&G's. Every parent realizes (or should realize) they may have to miss out on things when they have a child, and it is not up to everyone else to accommodate them.

MobKaz · February 2014

PineapplePam said:

I'm really not suggesting that about unmarried couples. A couple posters decided to take that one and run with it rather than read the OP and consider the actual issues. The reality is, our guestlist started with people who were either single or engaged/married, so it's not like we were excluding SOs left and right. Obviously people who have been in a relationship for 2 years or more is very different from someone who went on their first date last week.

I suppose I'll repost later under some other pseudonym, and hope that people actually focus on the question rather than nitpick details just to let out their pent up aggression.

So glad I never did come on here when i was planning. There is some real hostility!

........and perhaps we now have the first inkling as to why there has been such an onslaught of etiquettely challenged first time posters.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2014

LizM61409 said:

I don't have a great answer or anything, but excluding very young babies from weddings has always perplexed me. The worst they'll do is cry, which will disrupt your speshul day for approximately 20 seconds while the embarrassed parent makes an escape to somewhere where the crying isn't heard. They cost you NOTHING, and it can be difficult or impossible for parents to make other arrangements.

It makes sense why people wouldn't want a ton of toddlers or older kids running around, but I can't figure out how excluding infants makes your special snowflake of a day any perfect-er

I have found that typically babies and kids are not welcomed at weddings because people have bad experiences with parents who don't get up and leave with them when they are crying, etc.

Jen4948 · February 2014

LizM61409 said:

I don't have a great answer or anything, but excluding very young babies from weddings has always perplexed me. The worst they'll do is cry, which will disrupt your speshul day for approximately 20 seconds while the embarrassed parent makes an escape to somewhere where the crying isn't heard. They cost you NOTHING, and it can be difficult or impossible for parents to make other arrangements.

It makes sense why people wouldn't want a ton of toddlers or older kids running around, but I can't figure out how excluding infants makes your special snowflake of a day any perfect-er

Well, first, the parent has to get off their duff and actually take the baby out, and that can take longer than 20 seconds. And they might not be all that "embarrassed" or in a hurry to take the baby out if they believe in a "let the baby cry" philosophy. Crying babies get noticed.

The business of taking the baby out can be just as disruptive as letting it cry for a prolonged period of time. And sorry, but nobody is required to allow babies to be at their weddings, let alone to allow it to cry. Any expectation that that has to be allowed because "it's a baby, you'll never notice it" is just as "special snowflake" as anything else you're suggesting is "special snowflake."

And by the way, not wanting babies at a wedding is an allowed and accepted decision under etiquette for couples to make. It isn't "special snowflake." Babies are not universally loved or lovable.

cruffino · February 2014

@Sugargirl1019

No one was rude. They pointed out proper etiquette. OP got all butthurt because she didn't get the sympathetic responses she hoped for.

And your suggestion is not helpful. Its not appropriate to ask hosts of a party to find childcare for you. That's the parents' job. It's nice that you've decided to do this, but you are the host making a decision for your party, which is quite different from being a guest and asking a host to arrange childcare.

WildMagelet · February 2014

PineapplePam said:

I respectfully disagree. When you have a very small wedding, you make the best decisions you can. I have been left off of invites for the very same reason, when my husband and I hadn't been dating for very long. It's reality given the cost of weddings today, and I have never taken it personally.

I'd say more, but it's just not the issue I came on for.

The attacking and quickness to judge on here amaze me, and I'm sorry I came on at all. With that, I'm off.

So...you've logged back on since you wrote this and I'm assuming you've read the rest of these replies. Why won't you answer the posters asking you about trying to childcare in your hotel or reception venue?

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

Jen4948 said:

LizM61409 said:

I don't have a great answer or anything, but excluding very young babies from weddings has always perplexed me. The worst they'll do is cry, which will disrupt your speshul day for approximately 20 seconds while the embarrassed parent makes an escape to somewhere where the crying isn't heard. They cost you NOTHING, and it can be difficult or impossible for parents to make other arrangements.

It makes sense why people wouldn't want a ton of toddlers or older kids running around, but I can't figure out how excluding infants makes your special snowflake of a day any perfect-er

Well, first, the parent has to get off their duff and actually take the baby out, and that can take longer than 20 seconds. And they might not be all that "embarrassed" or in a hurry to take the baby out if they believe in a "let the baby cry" philosophy. Crying babies get noticed.

The business of taking the baby out can be just as disruptive as letting it cry for a prolonged period of time. And sorry, but nobody is required to allow babies to be at their weddings, let alone to allow it to cry. Any expectation that that has to be allowed because "it's a baby, you'll never notice it" is just as "special snowflake" as anything else you're suggesting is "special snowflake."

And by the way, not wanting babies at a wedding is an allowed and accepted decision under etiquette for couples to make. It isn't "special snowflake." Babies are not universally loved or lovable.

And with so many couples choosing to video their wedding, I personally feel a baby crying during my vows would make ME cry! The videographer can't edit baby crying out, and if you only have one camera angle, then you might see embarrassed mom leaving with crying baby.

I'm glad people feel that it is not "special snowflake" to not want children at the wedding. I've gotten into terrible arguments with FMIL about the children, despite there being nothing wrong with not including them.

lyndausvi · February 2014

LizM61409 said:

I don't have a great answer or anything, but excluding very young babies from weddings has always perplexed me. The worst they'll do is cry, which will disrupt your speshul day for approximately 20 seconds while the embarrassed parent makes an escape to somewhere where the crying isn't heard. They cost you NOTHING, and it can be difficult or impossible for parents to make other arrangements.

It makes sense why people wouldn't want a ton of toddlers or older kids running around, but I can't figure out how excluding infants makes your special snowflake of a day any perfect-er

You know there are other reasons other than the possibilities of making noise on why people exclude babies in their no kid policy right?

RebeccaB88 · February 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

I have found that typically babies and kids are not welcomed at weddings because people have bad experiences with parents who don't get up and leave with them when they are crying, etc.

This. The past couple of weddings I attended had (loudly) crying babies and never once did a parent take them out. One in particular was in a very small chapel, the baby started howling the instant the prelude started and didn't stop until the recessional ended (as if on cue). Yes, the parent remained seated and oblivious the whole time. No, you couldn't hear a damn thing other than screaming. The bride was in tears at the reception over it.

I happened to get in the middle of an (online) (heated) debate a few weeks ago about this very subject. The mothers involved considered it 'offensive and rude' to be expected to take a crying baby out of a wedding (or any other ceremony) and said it would be 'a friendship-ending move'. Their excuse? A crying baby is (paraphrased) a joyful noise, the sound of life and love personified, a sign of a living child (???), and it would be cruel and unjust and a 'sign of who your real friends are' to the parents to make them miss the event because someone else couldn't forgive that a crying baby is a wonderful sound. (????)

Yeah, I know. I thought that too. I was told I couldn't comment because I don't have kids, and therefore, 'don't know what true love is'. (Bull. Shit. ) I'm 43, ended my engagement last year, and am infertile. Compassion, yo?

misshart00 · February 2014

RebeccaB88 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I have found that typically babies and kids are not welcomed at weddings because people have bad experiences with parents who don't get up and leave with them when they are crying, etc.

This. The past couple of weddings I attended had (loudly) crying babies and never once did a parent take them out. One in particular was in a very small chapel, the baby started howling the instant the prelude started and didn't stop until the recessional ended (as if on cue). Yes, the parent remained seated and oblivious the whole time. No, you couldn't hear a damn thing other than screaming. The bride was in tears at the reception over it.

I happened to get in the middle of an (online) (heated) debate a few weeks ago about this very subject. The mothers involved considered it 'offensive and rude' to be expected to take a crying baby out of a wedding (or any other ceremony) and said it would be 'a friendship-ending move'. Their excuse? A crying baby is (paraphrased) a joyful noise, the sound of life and love personified, a sign of a living child (???), and it would be cruel and unjust and a 'sign of who your real friends are' to the parents to make them miss the event because someone else couldn't forgive that a crying baby is a wonderful sound. (????)

Yeah, I know. I thought that too. I was told I couldn't comment because I don't have kids, and therefore, 'don't know what true love is'. (Bull. Shit. ) I'm 43, ended my engagement last year, and am infertile. Compassion, yo?

Wow. I have a 4 month old. And while she's usually very good, I would be out in seconds if she cried at a wedding.

mrs4everhart · February 2014

At my first wedding, right before the doors at the back of the church opened and my Dad and I headed down the aisle, who joined us unexpectedly in the anteroom? My (now obviously) exH's former girlfriend and her (uninvited) screaming infant who she was trying to get out of the church. No, not awkward at all. What was supposed to be a lovely few quiet moments alone with my Dad became me, my Dad, this chick Angie and her baby, whatever its name was screaming a blue streak. I completely understand why people don't want babies at weddings.

OP, let your husband make his decision alone and support it whatever it is. When you decided to have a baby you had to have known all sorts of scenarios would present themselves for years to come where fun would be sacrificed for your bundle of joy unless you leave it home with a sitter.

themuffinman16 · February 2014

I know this isn't the same as a wedding, but I was at a funeral for my step-father, many years ago. A mother was holding her child and the child was kicking the casket. The mother did NOTHING to stop her child, she just ignored the behavior and continued in her conversation with another adult. I was so disturbed by this, I almost lost it. I guess that is why I have the opinion that it is not always appropriate to have children at major events. It depends upon the parents as to how that child will behave. How you would remedy a crying child is not standard across the board. Everyone parents differently. Having children at the wedding should be entirely up to the bride and groom.

happywiggle · February 2014

OP, the PPs gave you excellent advice, so I'm not going to add to it. I suggest you listen to them. I'm not even going to touch the etiquette no-no you did as they already did that as well.

If the hosts offer to help locate childcare, that's great, and seriously consider taking them up on their offer to help. I definitely would not expect them to arrange, let alone pay, for any care your child needs. Not every couple will offer to help find a sitter though, and I agree with other PPs that it is indeed rude to flat out ask the hosts to provider childcare. If ANYTHING, (Please note: I'm not sure if this is actually against etiquette so I'll ask someone else who is more well verse to chime in and correct me on this if it is and take their advice instead of mine), perhaps you can ask if they know OF a sitter in the area that YOU can contact to set up YOUR childcare. Who knows, they might have someone that they know of that they trust and can pass on their name. To me, this is different than asking them to set up child care, but others can view it as the same.

Again, someone please correct if that is wrong!

Side note--We are doing a no kids allowed wedding, despite having multiple family members that will be having little kids. Invitations will be addressed to the parents, and if the parents have an issue, we will help them find a sitter (giving names/phone numbers/emails) if they would like one and set up a room at the venue for them to stay so breastfeeding mothers can go and nurse as needed; however, we will not pay for it. We know this means that some might decline, but it is our choice to exclude kids, including infants.

ChemFanatic25 · February 2014

RebeccaB88 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I have found that typically babies and kids are not welcomed at weddings because people have bad experiences with parents who don't get up and leave with them when they are crying, etc.

This. The past couple of weddings I attended had (loudly) crying babies and never once did a parent take them out. One in particular was in a very small chapel, the baby started howling the instant the prelude started and didn't stop until the recessional ended (as if on cue). Yes, the parent remained seated and oblivious the whole time. No, you couldn't hear a damn thing other than screaming. The bride was in tears at the reception over it.

I happened to get in the middle of an (online) (heated) debate a few weeks ago about this very subject. The mothers involved considered it 'offensive and rude' to be expected to take a crying baby out of a wedding (or any other ceremony) and said it would be 'a friendship-ending move'. Their excuse? A crying baby is (paraphrased) a joyful noise, the sound of life and love personified, a sign of a living child (???), and it would be cruel and unjust and a 'sign of who your real friends are' to the parents to make them miss the event because someone else couldn't forgive that a crying baby is a wonderful sound. (????)

Yeah, I know. I thought that too. I was told I couldn't comment because I don't have kids, and therefore, 'don't know what true love is'. (Bull. Shit. ) I'm 43, ended my engagement last year, and am infertile. Compassion, yo?

This isn't exactly a wedding but my old church had a nursery that was prepped with everything for a mother that was breast feeding to toddlers and whatever. If a baby started crying in the service and it wasn't immediately addressed my pastor would actually stop the sermon and ask the parent, from his pulpit to remove the offending child to the nursery. Once the parent got up and left the pastor would then return to his sermon but not before.

I actually liked this because I felt that if the parent was going to be rude enough not to take their kid out especially during a time of learning and disrupt everything then they should be called out on it. Don't care how special your kid is.

WildMagelet · February 2014

themuffinman16 said:

I know this isn't the same as a wedding, but I was at a funeral for my step-father, many years ago. A mother was holding her child and the child was kicking the casket. The mother did NOTHING to stop her child, she just ignored the behavior and continued in her conversation with another adult. I was so disturbed by this, I almost lost it. I guess that is why I have the opinion that it is not always appropriate to have children at major events. It depends upon the parents as to how that child will behave. How you would remedy a crying child is not standard across the board. Everyone parents differently. Having children at the wedding should be entirely up to the bride and groom.

Edited because GIFs are better

antoto · February 2014

misshart00 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I have found that typically babies and kids are not welcomed at weddings because people have bad experiences with parents who don't get up and leave with them when they are crying, etc.

This. The past couple of weddings I attended had (loudly) crying babies and never once did a parent take them out. One in particular was in a very small chapel, the baby started howling the instant the prelude started and didn't stop until the recessional ended (as if on cue). Yes, the parent remained seated and oblivious the whole time. No, you couldn't hear a damn thing other than screaming. The bride was in tears at the reception over it.

I happened to get in the middle of an (online) (heated) debate a few weeks ago about this very subject. The mothers involved considered it 'offensive and rude' to be expected to take a crying baby out of a wedding (or any other ceremony) and said it would be 'a friendship-ending move'. Their excuse? A crying baby is (paraphrased) a joyful noise, the sound of life and love personified, a sign of a living child (???), and it would be cruel and unjust and a 'sign of who your real friends are' to the parents to make them miss the event because someone else couldn't forgive that a crying baby is a wonderful sound. (????)

Yeah, I know. I thought that too. I was told I couldn't comment because I don't have kids, and therefore, 'don't know what true love is'. (Bull. Shit. ) I'm 43, ended my engagement last year, and am infertile. Compassion, yo?
Wow. I have a 4 month old. And while she's usually very good, I would be out in seconds if she cried at a wedding.

Yeah, I don't have a single friend who is so rude that they would stay put and let their baby's cries mess with the ceremony. I have several kids/babies coming to my wedding. The mothers and/or fathers all know that if their kid starts to get upset they will remove them from the area. Only massively RUDE parents would keep their kids there - maybe something you could guess at or discuss with them before inviting their kid.

For me personally it was more important that I have those adult friends/family of mine there for me (it was also really important that my 6 week old nephew would be there!) than any fear of a kid crying for a few seconds before being taken out.

JeeGooDowster · February 2014

@prettygirllost you have my compassion! I seriously HATE when people do that!!!!

crunchymamaof2 · February 2014

laurynm84 said:

acove2006 said:

antibride2013 said:

OP you stated yourself that YOU had a adult only reception, I bet there were a LOT of people pissed and hurt their kids weren't invited.

I don't get your logic. It seems like you realize the adult only party sounded GREAT at the time of your party, however now that you are a parent and you are having to deal with the same issue you put your guests through it has turned into a "slap in the face"?

Maybe she didn't have any people that had children. Maybe there was no one in her wedding party that had kids. Regardless, it's not rude to not invite children even those children of people in the wedding party. However, though it's not against etiquette, I think it's a nice thing to try to accommodate and make exceptions for your wedding party, especially one that is traveling across the country.

I'm not going to touch the "exception" the OP made. Everyone else already covered it.

I didn't take what antibride said to mean all that. I took it as "Hey I did everything I wanted at *my* wedding, and I even made a huge exception for you so now you MUST do the same for me!" then stomps her feet when it doesn't happen. OP chose not to have children at her wedding, which I gathered from this statement ". I get it, we had an adult reception, but made a couple exceptions for close family who were traveling from out of state and/or in the wedding. It wasn't a big deal." So now OP is in a tizzy because while that choice was fine for her wedding it's unacceptable for someone else to make that same choice. Even though that couple is perfectly fine to make that choice and have done nothing wrong. It's being spoiled.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2014

LizM61409 said:

I don't have a great answer or anything, but excluding very young babies from weddings has always perplexed me. The worst they'll do is cry, which will disrupt your speshul day for approximately 20 seconds while the embarrassed parent makes an escape to somewhere where the crying isn't heard. They cost you NOTHING, and it can be difficult or impossible for parents to make other arrangements.

It makes sense why people wouldn't want a ton of toddlers or older kids running around, but I can't figure out how excluding infants makes your special snowflake of a day any perfect-er

I have found that typically babies and kids are not welcomed at weddings because people have bad experiences with parents who don't get up and leave with them when they are crying, etc.

RebeccaB88 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I have found that typically babies and kids are not welcomed at weddings because people have bad experiences with parents who don't get up and leave with them when they are crying, etc.

This. The past couple of weddings I attended had (loudly) crying babies and never once did a parent take them out. One in particular was in a very small chapel, the baby started howling the instant the prelude started and didn't stop until the recessional ended (as if on cue). Yes, the parent remained seated and oblivious the whole time. No, you couldn't hear a damn thing other than screaming. The bride was in tears at the reception over it.

I happened to get in the middle of an (online) (heated) debate a few weeks ago about this very subject. The mothers involved considered it 'offensive and rude' to be expected to take a crying baby out of a wedding (or any other ceremony) and said it would be 'a friendship-ending move'. Their excuse? A crying baby is (paraphrased) a joyful noise, the sound of life and love personified, a sign of a living child (???), and it would be cruel and unjust and a 'sign of who your real friends are' to the parents to make them miss the event because someone else couldn't forgive that a crying baby is a wonderful sound. (????)

Yeah, I know. I thought that too. I was told I couldn't comment because I don't have kids, and therefore, 'don't know what true love is'. (Bull. Shit. ) I'm 43, ended my engagement last year, and am infertile. Compassion, yo?

Holy fucking hell! Santimommy bitches much?

*hugs* for you.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2014

themuffinman16 said:

I know this isn't the same as a wedding, but I was at a funeral for my step-father, many years ago. A mother was holding her child and the child was kicking the casket. The mother did NOTHING to stop her child, she just ignored the behavior and continued in her conversation with another adult. I was so disturbed by this, I almost lost it. I guess that is why I have the opinion that it is not always appropriate to have children at major events. It depends upon the parents as to how that child will behave. How you would remedy a crying child is not standard across the board. Everyone parents differently. Having children at the wedding should be entirely up to the bride and groom.

See, I'm that person that says something to the parent or the child.

Yes, I correct other people's children in public if they are being totally out of line, and their parents don't give a single fuck about it.

lyndausvi · February 2014

I only invited my 7 nieces and nephews (they were 6 and up). To my wedding.

Our wedding was OOT for 100% of our guest list. I did not make any exceptions for babies and it had NOTHING to do if they make noise or not. There was just no good cut off. There was a 6, 9, and 12 month old. But the 6 mo old has a 18 month old sibling. Another friend has 15 month old. Oh and the 6 mo old isn't BF (adoption) but the 12 month old still is. Where to cut?

No, just no. Any cutoff I made would have created more of a mess than not. I didn't care if you are a day old or 107 years old, if your name isn't on the list you are not invited. PERIOD.

Not one of my declines were from parents with young kids. Some of the kids come to town with the parents. They were just with babysitters.

Another example: My cousin got married, OOT for our entire family. No kids allowed. Had she made an exception for babies she would have had at least 2 6 mon olds from our family. Yep 2, as my sister and SIL gave birth 5 days from each other. However, sitting at home were 3 (yep 3) 18-22 month olds, because the year before same sister and SIL and another SIL gave birth a month apart from each other. What did my family do? Brought babysitters. Yep, my aunt and SIL's inlaws came down (they happen to live an hour away) and watched all 6 kids in a hotel suite while we went to the wedding. Reception was in the same location so parents could check-in on them. NBD to any of them.

Now everything is about crying babies. Space and such can come into play when it's not just 1 kid, but many kids.

Amyzen83 · February 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

themuffinman16 said:

I know this isn't the same as a wedding, but I was at a funeral for my step-father, many years ago. A mother was holding her child and the child was kicking the casket. The mother did NOTHING to stop her child, she just ignored the behavior and continued in her conversation with another adult. I was so disturbed by this, I almost lost it. I guess that is why I have the opinion that it is not always appropriate to have children at major events. It depends upon the parents as to how that child will behave. How you would remedy a crying child is not standard across the board. Everyone parents differently. Having children at the wedding should be entirely up to the bride and groom.

See, I'm that person that says something to the parent or the child.

Yes, I correct other people's children in public if they are being totally out of line, and their parents don't give a single fuck about it.

I'm with u on that one! There are times I can't stand other peoples kids because they will throw full on temper tantrums at inappropriate times or do obnoxious things and the parents do nothing! It's really not the child's fault because they are being a child but I strongly judge the parent for at least not moving the child to another location.

Family Feud, and the baby isn't even here yet

Re: Family Feud, and the baby isn't even here yet

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