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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal
LabLove86
member
Was it all worth it??
Hello there -
So my BF and I have been discussing budgets for numerous things lately (mostly a house and a wedding - and how they will effect each other. . . .).
So I was just wondering if anyone had regrets on cutting back on anything? Or wished you had splurged on something that you didn't?
We do know that we want something more than JOP wedding - but we don't know what kind of budget to start saving for (Big difference between saving for 10K or 30K. . . .). And of course a house will be priority #1 just because we will be there for more than a single day - but we both want that single day to be special.
Thanks guys!
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Re: Was it all worth it??
We could have easily spent $25 or 30k. We had the money to spend but we just didn't want to spend that much. In the end I don't regret not spending that much. We had a gorgeous wedding and it was really fun!
I wish I wouldn't have been so strict on my dress budget though. I still had a really decent budget, but there were some dresses that were only a couple hundred dollars more that I wouldn't even look at on principal because it didn't fit in the budget I had in my head. I still may have ended up with the same dress, but I do regret not allowing myself to look a little higher.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
Making a priority list is such an excellent idea - we will do that for sure. It's not necessarily a matter of one or the other as far as wedding vs. house - it's a matter of how much to put aside for each. (Smaller down payment with a more expensive wedding? Or cheaper wedding with a bigger down payment.......)
I have just heard of some people regretting spending so much - and conversely heard of people wishing they hadn't held back AS much.
It will all work out I'm sure - just wondering if there was a general consensus!
Our budget was $14,000 including everything except for the honeymoon (even our wedding rings). We had a lunch reception in the winter and it helped us reallly stretch our budget to get everything we wanted (including going over budget for a videographer). We had about 80 guests and if we had done this exact wedding in peak season/at night it would have been at least double.
We are now getting ready to buy a new house and I do have a *smidge* of regret that we spent so much on the wedding because that is money that we don't have available for moving, but the day was everything I wanted (H didn't care about as long as we got married). One of my uncles has talked to Mom several times and keeps raving about how much fun he had. That makes me happy.
I will look into that book for sure and consider off-season...... I REALLY want fall - but that isn't exactly considered off season anymore.
Off season deals can also be found with vendors, not just the venue. Our vidographer gave us $1000 off of our package because it was off season and everything was at one place (no driving all over town) and our photographer added an extra hour to our package and threw in an engagement session for $100 (normally about $600).
Where we couldn't get discounts we still had our pick of vendors because the competition wasn't there. So we got a very popular and very inexpensive DJ, a good florist and everything else without having to hear a lot of "Sorry, we're booked that day.".
Another way to save money is to do a brunch/lunch reception. Ours was a lunch reception and it was beautiful (I know I'm biased) and people still danced and stayed almost to the end. The only reason people left early was because of the heavy snow coming down all day and not everyone left...
There are a ton of options out there to make a beautiful event!
I'm definitely in the "less money, bigger down payment" camp. Hang out on these boards and you will run into lots of ways to save big money, but still have a beautiful and well-hosted event.
I had a very small wedding with only about 30 people. By keeping it that small, I was able to have it at my mom's house in her gorgeous patio/garden area. And it was just a lot less hassle and planning that way. With that huge savings, we were able to go higher end on flowers and photography. I'd say the food was a splurge also because it was so delicous lol, but we had it catered from a local restaurant so it was also really inexpensive.
For me, it was perfect having a smaller simpler weddng. With that said, I did have to give up some of the long standing ideas I'd always had about my wedding. For example, there was no room for a dance floor so no first dance, much less any dancing at all.
I also really found that, at the end of the day, all of these things I thought I would miss or was so worried wouldn't go right didn't matter at all. I was on Cloud Nine all day and all that mattered to me was that I had just married the love of my life and I had all my closest friends and family there to celebrate with us.
The thing that is keeping me....going (?) is the fact that the last 4 years have been really rough on my family. Deaths, illnesses, my sister having 2 miscarriages, my dad having 3 types of cancer. And my wedding is going to be this awesome, really happy occasion for all of us. I am so thrilled to have everyone together and it is something that really cheers up my dad on the days where getting out of bed is tough.
Your guests come to your house in the mid-afternoon. The officiant arrives. He marries you. Everyone congratulates you both, and you serve cake (homemade) coffee, and punch. No dancing.
This is how most people were married before the wedding industry convinced us that we needed to spend more money.
You could also use your back yard for the ceremony. You would need to rent enough chairs so that everyone could have a seat.
I would suggest a very simple wedding dress, like the ones for a destination wedding. A big, pouffy ballgown would be out of place. Your FI would wear a suit and tie. A wedding party isn't necessary, but you can have a small one if you wish.
I think there is a "budget" board on this site. There are some great ideas there.
Like another PP mentioned, wedding favors are totally unnecessary. The general consensus I've seen is most people don't even want or keep them very long, unless they are food.
Another easy way to save $100s is to have a small "pretty" wedding cake for pics, but sheet cakes for the actual servings. It's criminal, but a lot of bakers hear the word "wedding" and what would be a $100 cake for another event suddenly turns into a $400 cake!
I bought a house and it was the right decision.
We're spending $17K for ~210 people (we haven't sent invitations out yet). My parents worry that we're being too cheap on too many things but we decided that our guest list was more important than a limo, a high-end venue, or a dream dress. We'll still have great food, an open bar, and a great party but it will definitely be more modest than my sister's wedding. That said, I've still made a few stupid mistakes:
- I bought Groupons for Vistaprint that expired because I didn't pay close enough attention to dates. An expired Vistaprint Groupon is good for what you paid but can't be used with any discounts. They are pointless.
- We've agreed to upgrades that were important to my parents at the expense of our own priorities. My mom wants impressive passed apps while we would have preferred tables of less expensive options. We're only having a 45 minute happy hour and I'd rather spend the money upgrading something else.
- I should have involved my mom in more decisions. We got my parents' hesitant approval on our venue (they thought it wasn't fancy/formal enough and would have preferred another caterer) but haven't done much beyond that. She went dress shopping with me but wants to spend a lot of time looking at flowers. I will include her in my search for bouquets and bouts but ordered our centerpiece flowers on my own. I know that we can't afford her taste so I went to Costco to avoid any issues but hurt her feelings in the process.
- I should have chosen a few dresses for my BMs. I told them I wanted them in black dresses, that they should decide as a group on long or short, and that, beyond that, wear whatever. With varying budgets, pregnancy status' (1 is trying to get pregnant, 1 will have 2 month old twins), and body types, I wanted to be as sensitive as possible. However, I think I just stressed everyone out. I've since sent out links to dresses that I love but I could have made things easier.