Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

jdluvr06 · April 2014

I wish we have a hate it button next to the love it button.

RebeccaB88 · April 2014

...

lovelybride614 · April 2014

I know this will get me a ton of attacking messages but we are totally doing an unplugged ceremony. Our officiant will be making an announcement. FI is in law enforcement and our friends constantly forget to turn off their phones or have to text every 30 seconds for work. FI is not allowed to have anything uber personal on facebook so it will remind our over-zealous family of our policy. A final reason is we are a SS couple so we don't want our ceremony plastered everywhere for attacks. Again, our true friends and family know this and since we're only inviting those who mean a lot to us are smart enough for common sense, stuff happens. I mean I know to silence my phone in many social situations but I forget or think I already did it. It doesn't make me stupid or anything but it happens. Our guests won't be offended. If they are, then it's on them because they know all of this already

chibiyui · April 2014

lovelybride614 said:

I know this will get me a ton of attacking messages but we are totally doing an unplugged ceremony. Our officiant will be making an announcement. FI is in law enforcement and our friends constantly forget to turn off their phones or have to text every 30 seconds for work. FI is not allowed to have anything uber personal on facebook so it will remind our over-zealous family of our policy. A final reason is we are a SS couple so we don't want our ceremony plastered everywhere for attacks. Again, our true friends and family know this and since we're only inviting those who mean a lot to us are smart enough for common sense, stuff happens. I mean I know to silence my phone in many social situations but I forget or think I already did it. It doesn't make me stupid or anything but it happens. Our guests won't be offended. If they are, then it's on them because they know all of this already

SS couple? Please explain, cause I just watched Hellsing Ultimate: Abridged this week and all I'm thinking is vampire nazis and I know that's not right.

Also, generally there is nothing wrong with a short announcement asking phones to be off/silent like at the movie theater, but stuff like the basket for electronics or plastering it everywhere is what bugs people.

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

SS= secrete service?

chibiyui · April 2014

blueeyes90 said:

SS= secrete service?

That was my first thought, but my brain just wants to go to vampire nazis.

It's late.

@lovelybride614 if social media is that big of an issue for your FI, wouldn't he have it on super lockdown? Like, he can only be tagged if he approves it, and few friends? If he had it at all? I mean, I have friends who have to maintain some kind of online presence for their work (art related) or just don't have or use facebook.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

SS = same sex, I believe.

RAM1499 · April 2014

I'm in total agreement with you! The entire idea of people sitting on the end of the aisle in order to lean out and get a picture is annoying to me. I've seen enough videos where the official photographer is blocked due to this behavior; I don't want that at my wedding. And, please let me post my own pictures to social media!

Love the wording you have.

wrigleyville · April 2014

How many times do I have to tell people to set their FB privacy settings so they don't get tagged?

LEARN TO READ

countrygirl061513 · April 2014

Ok so I went through all my pictures from both my friends and my hired photographer. Here are two pictures one taken by a guest on her cell phone and one from the pro. Taken at the same time......and neither picture was ruined by the other person. Its not that hard to let some things go. A good photographer can take good pictures even if the guests are taking pictures at the same time. Also I didn't pay 4 grand for my photographer, only paid $800 and I got all rights to my pictures and a disk with every picture she took on it.

karamelkandykrunch · April 2014

I honestly think this is a great idea! I actually might use it myself. Just be prepared to have guests that will take pictures anyway. I know for myself, I would mostly be doing this to have one particular guest stay out of our photographer's way, but I'm not bothered by other people taking pictures... as long as they are not in the photographer's way, or anyone else's.

I can't imagine how someone would get offended by respecting your wedding day wishes. It sounds ridiculous to me. Worst case scenario is some of your guests do what they want anyway. You can't run back down the aisle just to tell them to stop. Just put it in the program, hope for the best and enjoy your wedding!

sofakingmad · April 2014

octoturtle said:

I honestly think this is a great idea! I actually might use it myself. Just be prepared to have guests that will take pictures anyway. I know for myself, I would mostly be doing this to have one particular guest stay out of our photographer's way, but I'm not bothered by other people taking pictures... as long as they are not in the photographer's way, or anyone else's.

I can't imagine how someone would get offended by respecting your wedding day wishes. It sounds ridiculous to me. Worst case scenario is some of your guests do what they want anyway. You can't run back down the aisle just to tell them to stop. Just put it in the program, hope for the best and enjoy your wedding!

DID YOU EVEN READ THE THREAD???? OR DID YOU JUST READ THE OP AND POST?

ktjanesmom · April 2014

Is "unplugged" the correct term here? I mean, even when my phone is unplugged I can still use it.

Unplugged typically means an acoustic performance as apposed to with amps.

crunchymamaof2 · April 2014

octoturtle said:

I honestly think this is a great idea! I actually might use it myself. Just be prepared to have guests that will take pictures anyway. I know for myself, I would mostly be doing this to have one particular guest stay out of our photographer's way, but I'm not bothered by other people taking pictures... as long as they are not in the photographer's way, or anyone else's.

I can't imagine how someone would get offended by respecting your wedding day wishes. It sounds ridiculous to me. Worst case scenario is some of your guests do what they want anyway. You can't run back down the aisle just to tell them to stop. Just put it in the program, hope for the best and enjoy your wedding!

So if I requested our guests bring a minimum of $100 for the bar and honeymoon fund (not counting as the gift of course) they would be rude not to since they'd be disrespecting our wishes? Hell if that's the case we should have charged everyone an entry fee and asked that cash only be given as gifts! Score!

Yeah....no way. Those asinine requests are ridiculous. As is this unplugged crap. I'll even admit I considered it (briefly) but thankfully came to my senses, in part due to these lovely ladies.

And FTR unless your venue doesn't allow photography or the wedding is in your home you can't ask people not to take pictures or use their phone. They have the legal right. So unless you truly are in the minority of those who can't have pictures posted publicly just get over yourselves. Have the officiant say no flash photography and call it a day. And also tell your fancy schmanchy photographer or wedding coordinator to intervene if someone does end up in the aisle. No big deal.

MuppetOverlord · April 2014

I can't believe this thread is still going, and I can't believe how asinine people are determined to be to their guests.

You'd think that people would look at these 14 pages and understand that, regardless of their own opinions on the matter, enough people think it's rude that they might want to consider erring on the side of caution.

At the very least, if they don't give a shit about what their guests feel, consider vacating the etiquette board.

MuppetOverlord · April 2014

and FFS if you feel like your wedding will be ruined by your guests - elope.

PrincessOfHavoc · April 2014

Our guests bar one are generally adult enough to behave. The one who isn't is going to be forced into being an adult for a few hours by our father.

Great pictures from friends have frequently been taken by friends. We know each other, so it's easier to get "that" picture sometimes.

tabathafaye · April 2014

I am really torn on this one. Most of the photos from my brother's wedding shows people on their phones or holding up their phones/cameras...

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

tabathafaye said:

I am really torn on this one. Most of the photos from my brother's wedding shows people on their phones or holding up their phones/cameras...

Every single shot of the ceremony is panned out so you can see the guests? The photographer didn't zoom in at all for any of the shots?

Maggie0829 · April 2014

MuppetOverlord said:

and FFS if you feel like your wedding will be ruined by your guests - elope.

I think this should be the main take away from this thread.

MuppetOverlord · April 2014

tabathafaye said:

I am really torn on this one. Most of the photos from my brother's wedding shows people on their phones or holding up their phones/cameras...

Your brother had a shitty photographer. Photographers worth their salt are experienced in positing themselves well at different angles and take a lot of photos to accommodate.

manateehugger · April 2014

MuppetOverlord said:

tabathafaye said:

I am really torn on this one. Most of the photos from my brother's wedding shows people on their phones or holding up their phones/cameras...

Your brother had a shitty photographer. Photographers worth their salt are experienced in positing themselves well at different angles and take a lot of photos to accommodate.

THIS. I swear, it seems like this thread is mostly about photogs being lazy and wanting more money. FI is a hobby photographer, but he takes the photos at most events - graduations, big games, etc. where everyone else is taking photos. Guess what? You hardly ever see other people's cameras or arms unless he wants you too; and even if you do, there's usually 6 more camera-free shots of the same moment. And he does this as a HOBBY.

bmydesigner · April 2014

Yeah, in no other situation that I can think of is it acceptable for a photog to ask other people to not take pictures. A wedding should be no different.

sofakingmad · April 2014

MuppetOverlord said:

and FFS if you feel like your wedding will be ruined by your guests - elope.

Right? These brides are seriously acting like their guests are props that need to follow a fucking script.

a13049 · April 2014

In curious what expensive wedding

Itsthevix said:
With all respect, your parents are wrong and so are the people telling you that they would ignore the wishes of the couple. I am a professional wedding officiant as well as a newlywed (we got married 3 weeks ago), and I can't tell you how many professional, expensive pictures and videos are ruined by a guest holding up their cell phone during the ceremony, trying to get a picture, or even worse, standing up during the ceremony for a "better shot."

I talk to the assembled about 10 minutes before EVERY wedding begins and ask everyone to please turn OFF their cell phones during the ceremony. I remind them that the couple has hired a lovely photographer for the pictures and we'd really prefer to see their faces in the pictures, and not their phones. Of course there are people that ignore me, but those people are being terrible guests, and bad friends.

Would you bring your own meal to a reception? Would you bring your own music? Of course not. Respect the wishes of the couple, and just be with them during the ceremony. If you think a couple that has spent a small fortune and a year of their lives planning an event doesn't have the right to request that you not interrupt it with your phone, you really shouldn't attend, because you don't respect them or their wishes.

Take all the pictures you want during the reception but your phone was not invited to the wedding and no one wants to see (or God forbid) hear it. Just put your ego - and your phone - aside for 15 minutes on ONE day and be there for the couple. They'll appreciate it, and so will the photographer they spent $4 grand on.

"With all do respect" it sounds like as a weddig coordinator, you suck at your job. What fancy wedding coordinator school did you go to? I would be livid if you were my wedding coordinator and you did that. Clearly you didn't read the precious comments because it has been discussed that a true proffesional would be able to work around guests, when taking pictures. I took photos for a wedding, not as a pro but they couldn't afford prfdessional. I was able to get plenty of ohotos without people stepping in my way, or looking out I to a sea of phones. There were a few picture where someone was on the shot, most were not because they were taking ohotos just people being around the wedding g and watching or kids gettingsquirmy. I took enough shot to toss those our or crop then, and I am not a high paid pro.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

MuppetOverlord said:

tabathafaye said:

I am really torn on this one. Most of the photos from my brother's wedding shows people on their phones or holding up their phones/cameras...

Your brother had a shitty photographer. Photographers worth their salt are experienced in positing themselves well at different angles and take a lot of photos to accommodate.

Yep.

crunchymamaof2 · April 2014

tabathafaye said:

I am really torn on this one. Most of the photos from my brother's wedding shows people on their phones or holding up their phones/cameras...

And did that ruin their wedding? How often are those pictures actually looked at? And besides a quick "wow everyone had their cameras out" WHO FUCKING CARES about such an insignificant detail?! You're not any less married at the end of the day. For Christ's sake.

carliealissa · April 2014

I had never considered whether our wedding should be unplugged or plugged. Now I'm kind of liking the idea (mentioned once or twice) of encouraging guests to take as many pictures as possible and figuring out how to do the whole hashtag thing. That sounds fun- if only I were as popular on social media as some of the rest of you.

I read this whole thread, and I'm still not really coming away with any positive reason to forbid your guests from taking photographs. I'm not getting the big debate here!!

tcnoble · April 2014

So for those brides who fully intend to do an unplugged wedding, have an announcement or otherwise obnoxious/not cute chalkboard telling your guests what to do.... What will you do during your ceremony when a guest inevitably holds up a cell phone to take a picture? WHOA EVERYBODY STOP THIS IS AN UNPLUGGED WEDDING CANT YOU READ OUR SIGN?!?! Yes, I see that going over really well.

CharlesgirlJM · April 2014

I have been to weddings before this issue ever came up and some since cell phones have become a persistent presence. Before some of you say I am just an old woman complaining. I am 36. Old enough to know the old times but also in touch with today.
You would think it is a matter of common sense but etiquette hasn't quite caught up with technology. We are asked to turn our phones off or on silent for movies and not to take pictures at events yet people still have their phones out. In addition, you are investing in your photographer and should trust that the'll get the shots necessary. As a guest at a couple weddings I couldn't see the wedding party because people in front of me had their phones up taking pictures repeatedly during the ceremony. I much preferred the weddings where everyone was present in the moment sharing a very beautiful event without the distraction of cell phones. I can also speak from the standpoint of a photographer. I helped a friend out with taking pictures for her wedding. I would have gotten the perfect shots except for the 20 cell phones floating over the heads of the guests blocking the view of the whole wedding party. The picture quality of those cell phone shots would not have been able to match what I was going to capture.

Every one always says "it is your day!" What do you want to see in your pictures? Are people focused on what is happening in front of them or what they are viewing on their cell phone screen? For what it's worth my Fiance is a HUGE cell phone guy. He is never unplugged EVER! Yet after he observed the same things that I have at weddings we came to an agreement on how we will address this issue. That's right! We will kindly be requesting that our guests unplug. If they're going to get their panties in a wad over a small request like this (that they would do for a movie theater, etc) then I guess they aren't the understanding friends I thought them to be.

Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

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