What people really think about your PPD...

mrs4everhart · June 2014

beethery said:

perdonami said:

Simply Fated said:

What does "our truth" mean? Either it is true or isn't. Anything else is an opinion or theory.

I suppose it what she meant to say when she said that she wanted her guests to be "in the moment."

This our truth/my truth shit sounds super fucking culty to me lol

After I typed it I thought it sounded mildly Oprah-esque. Which actually creeps me out harder than cults. But then I had to laugh about that fact. And then I went shopping. <shrugs>

buttercup1958 · June 2014

@STBMrsEverhart you honestly just suck as a person.

VulgarGirl · June 2014

So let me get this straight. He's your legal husband, you're legally his wife. Your state, and all other 49 states in the union plus the federal government and all of the countries on earth, see it this way. And that's not good enough for you? That's not true enough?

It's fascinating how people with legal rights, have such little care for them and are unable to see their importance. Or their truth.

offensivekitten2 · June 2014

Man, this STB chick talks way to goddamn much. How long have you all been putting up with her?

lyndausvi · June 2014

offensivekitten2 said:
Way too long. When I moved to CO I secretly wished I would stumble upon on of her guest and expose the truth. And I'm someone who is not generally bothered by PPD.
Man, this STB chick talks way to goddamn much. How long have you all been putting up with her?

beethery · June 2014

offensivekitten2 said:

Man, this STB chick talks way to goddamn much. How long have you all been putting up with her?

Alcohol, in addition to the pleasing thought that I am not as deluded as she.

photokitty · June 2014

lyndausvi said:

offensivekitten2 said:

Man, this STB chick talks way to goddamn much. How long have you all been putting up with her?

Way too long. When I moved to CO I secretly wished I would stumble upon on of her guest and expose the truth. And I'm someone who is not generally bothered by PPD.

not gonna lie - super surprised this hasn't already happened after the incident where people tracked down a bride that knew someone of here - and that chick didn't even come on here running her mouth about her entitlement and BSC plans.

lyndausvi · June 2014

photokitty said:

lyndausvi said:

offensivekitten2 said:

Man, this STB chick talks way to goddamn much. How long have you all been putting up with her?

Way too long. When I moved to CO I secretly wished I would stumble upon on of her guest and expose the truth. And I'm someone who is not generally bothered by PPD.

I'm not the type who would do that. However if it comes to my attention some is going to a wedding in Mexico in Sept I would bring up the story of a person on a message board is already married and doesnt wan to tell the guests because she wants them to be in the moment and know the only their truth not the actual truth. not gonna lie - super surprised this hasn't already happened after the incident where people tracked down a bride that knew someone of here - and that chick didn't even come on here running her mouth about her entitlement and BSC plans.

wrigleyville · June 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

I put my foot down and told my husband no, we wouldn't be having a bloody, zombie cake as our party cake (I don't usually just say no, but that's just not what I want in the pics years from now). It may be beyond the pale of rude, atrocious attention whoring but anyone who doesn't want hosted tacos, margs and cake is welcome to stay home. I know where we'll be partying that day!

FTFY

wrigleyville · June 2014

Also, "margs" is right up there with "totes" and "adorbs".

KatieinBkln · June 2014

shrekspeare said:

beethery said:

perdonami said:

Simply Fated said:

What does "our truth" mean? Either it is true or isn't. Anything else is an opinion or theory.

I suppose it what she meant to say when she said that she wanted her guests to be "in the moment."

This our truth/my truth shit sounds super fucking culty to me lol

DH was actively involved in a cult (although like most members of a cult, he denies it's a cult while everyone else can plainly see it), and they used to spout this shit off all the time. He even convinced me to go to one of their 'Life Training' programs, which I stupidly did, just to prove it was a cult. Terrible decision. Completely fucked me up. In fact, DH's cult leader officiated our marriage, which was gross but bearable.

Whoa! So, not to take this thread away from snarking on STBMrs (which is always fun) but...is your DH still in the cult? If not, when/how did he extricate himself? No worries if you don't want to discuss this; I just find cults extremely fascinating. Feel free to ignore me if this is a sensitive topic.

annathy03 · June 2014

Lizzieyounce said:

Normally I try to be nice to people and wish nothing but nice things for them. This may get me flamed, but would it be horrible for me to wish that STBMrsE's guest list find out that she's married before her destination PPD and all decide to not attend?

I don't hope they decide not to attend, but wanting people to know the truth and be able to make an informed decision for themselves isn't even the slightest bit horrible. I hope every last guest knows or finds out it's a PPD before they make any non-refundable travel arrangements.

ladyamanuet · June 2014

Was anyone else surprised that the one with AWish qualities is in her 30s? With all the lying, ME ME ME attitude, and the "our truth" bullshit I wouldn't have guessed over like 23, so I wasn't as disgusted because I thought she was just a spoiled kid who didn't know better (still disgusted, though). Now, holy fuck.

shrekspeare it's awesome your hubby got out. I've had friends "escape" cult-like environments - and it took them a long time to shake the thinking, even after they were out.
ETF typo

JCbride2015 · June 2014

ladyamanuet said: Was anyone else surprised that the one with AWish qualities is in her 30s? With all the lying, ME ME ME attitude, and the "our truth" bullshit I wouldn't have guessed over like 23, so I wasn't as disgusted because I thought she was just a spoiled kid who didn't know better (still disgusted, though). Now, holy fuck.

shrekspeare it's awesome your hubby got out. I've had friends "escape" cult-like environments - and it took them a long time to shake the thinking, even after they were out.
ETF typo

-------Why do I ever have faith my quotes will show up correctly?-------

@shrekspeare, didn't you just get married though? What's the story with this cult thing-- is your DH actually out?

VulgarGirl · June 2014

wrigleyville said:

Also, "margs" is right up there with "totes" and "adorbs".

Vaguely off topic, my youngest brother's new girlfriend does this with every freaking word it feels like! She's a very sweet girl, very smart, lovely young lady, but seriously she needs to start speaking in full fucking words, it's driving me insane.

Of course...she's 17.

ScoutF · June 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

KGold80 said:

Oh for fuck's sake...how the hell did I miss that she is legally married, having a destination PPD, AND an at home reception!? I missed that last part. I'm sorrynotsorry to say that shit goes beyond the pale of rude and atrocious attention whoring.

The AHR doesn't come up on these boards often, but it's not a secret or anything. We're not even sorrynotsorry for hosting one, it's going to be awesome!! The weekend after we come home we're hosting a party for local friends and family in Denver at one of our favorite bars. Tacos, margs, a sick zombie cake as a surprise since I put my foot down and told FI no, we wouldn't be having a bloody, zombie cake as our wedding cake (I don't usually just say no, but that's just not what I want in the pics years from now). It may be beyond the pale of rude, atrocious attention whoring but anyone who doesn't want hosted tacos, margs and cake is welcome to stay home. I know where we'll be partying that day!

You had no reason to say no because that sure as hell isn't your wedding cake.

mrs4everhart · June 2014

buttercup1958 said: @STBMrsEverhart you honestly just suck as a person. ******************************************************************************************************
I can't say I'm particularly moved to argue your opinion of me, although the only things you know about me are what you read on these boards. I'm not concerned with the opinions of those who know me IRL, I'm certainly not worried about the opinions of strangers on the internet. MagicInk said: So let me get this straight. He's your legal husband, you're legally his wife. Your state, and all other 49 states in the union plus the federal government and all of the countries on earth, see it this way. And that's not good enough for you? That's not true enough?
It's fascinating how people with legal rights, have such little care for them and are unable to see their importance. Or their truth. *****************************************************************************************************
What's interesting to me is that if we applied the logic found all over this site where legal vs. ceremonial weddings are concerned NO ONE should be having any type of ceremony, NO ONE should be exchanging vows, and NO ONE should be concerned with anything other than signing their marriage license. A dress, vows, rings, all of it is completely superflous for everyone if the only thing that matters is the legal paperwork. I

've never said we don't care about our legal rights, only that we don't see it as necessary that the two things be combined on the same day. For us, for you, or whomever. Not combining them isn't the same as not caring about them.

offensivekitten2 said:

Man, this STB chick talks way to goddamn much. How long have you all been putting up with her?

******************************************************************************************************

I think you meant "too."

shrekspeare said:

beethery said:

perdonami said:

Simply Fated said:

What does "our truth" mean? Either it is true or isn't. Anything else is an opinion or theory.

I suppose it what she meant to say when she said that she wanted her guests to be "in the moment."

This our truth/my truth shit sounds super fucking culty to me lol

DH was actively involved in a cult (although like most members of a cult, he denies it's a cult while everyone else can plainly see it), and they used to spout this shit off all the time. He even convinced me to go to one of their 'Life Training' programs, which I stupidly did, just to prove it was a cult. Terrible decision. Completely fucked me up. In fact, DH's cult leader officiated our marriage, which was gross but bearable.

*****************************************************************************************************

Um, you might want to consider spending less time on wedding forums and more time worrying about your spouse. If you're telling the world that your husband is involved with what you and others could reasonably consider a cult, and that you were actually married by a cult leader, you have WAY more issues than I'll ever.

photokitty said:

lyndausvi said:

offensivekitten2 said:

Man, this STB chick talks way to goddamn much. How long have you all been putting up with her?

Way too long. When I moved to CO I secretly wished I would stumble upon on of her guest and expose the truth. And I'm someone who is not generally bothered by PPD.

not gonna lie - super surprised this hasn't already happened after the incident where people tracked down a bride that knew someone of here - and that chick didn't even come on here running her mouth about her entitlement and BSC plans.

******************************************************************************************************

Say what? My guest list and their contact info isn't posted on the Welcome to Colorado sign. Plus most of our guests aren't local, but many that are already know. But sure, you can keep hoping to stumble upon a small handful of people in a state full of millions. I'll keep fantasizing about how to spend my Powerball winnings. Whatever trips your trigger.

And no, stalking strangers on the internet to voice one's opinion on their wedding plans isn't bat shit crazy at all. It's perfectly normal. And time well spent by those who engage in such things. (yes, that's sarcasm).

wrigleyville said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

I put my foot down and told my husband no, we wouldn't be having a bloody, zombie cake as our party cake (I don't usually just say no, but that's just not what I want in the pics years from now). It may be beyond the pale of rude, atrocious attention whoring but anyone who doesn't want hosted tacos, margs and cake is welcome to stay home. I know where we'll be partying that day!

FTFY

*****************************************************************************************************

No need to fix anything. I chose my words with purpose. If I don't consider him my husband, or call him that, why would I start now? He doesn't refer to me as his wife, nor would I want him to. We'll start as soon as we're pronounced as such after we exchange vows at our wedding. Let's put it this way - if we were suddenly to break up between now and September, I wouldn't think of it as going through a divorce. So why until then would I consider it a marriage? Oh, that's right, I wouldn't.

Not really sure how I feel about the shortened version of margarita being likened to totes or adorbs, two words I've never uttered nor would I ever. Not sure I'll be loosing sleep over it one way or the other though. I'm just excited for a multi-week tequila bender honestly.

Edited - another day of cracked out quote boxes on TK.

photokitty · June 2014

ladyamanuet said:

Was anyone else surprised that the one with AWish qualities is in her 30s? With all the lying, ME ME ME attitude, and the "our truth" bullshit I wouldn't have guessed over like 23, so I wasn't as disgusted because I thought she was just a spoiled kid who didn't know better (still disgusted, though). Now, holy fuck.

And her second wedding...not that you can't have a big second wedding, I'm just surprised anyone would go to such lengths to have their vision, perfect day, etc the second time around - and at the expense of their guests while lying about the actual wedding date.

I was way more laid back when I got remarried and far more concerned about the marriage and guests - not duping them into spending thousands on a vacation to see me get married when surprise, I already am married, but ya know - I'm not going to tell you, bc the truth will set you free or at least all the money from your wallet or some other BS I think is clever...

lilacck28 · June 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

*****************************************************************************************************

No need to fix anything. I chose my words with purpose. If I don't consider him my husband, or call him that, why would I start now? He doesn't refer to me as his wife, nor would I want him to. We'll start as soon as we're pronounced as such after we exchange vows at our wedding. Let's put it this way - if we were suddenly to break up between now and September, I wouldn't think of it as going through a divorce. So why until then would I consider it a marriage? Oh, that's right, I wouldn't.

Honestly, I'm not really bothered by most PPDs. And I've found your responses to be highly amusing, just as I'm sure you intended. But... if you break up... even if you don't feel like you'd be going through a divorce, you know that's exactly what you'll need to get, right? Most of your answers, as I said, are amusing because you generally sound like a fairly intelligent person (even if you're loving back and forth snark on the internet a little too much). But this one just sounded dumb, which you clearly are not. Try again.

mrs4everhart · June 2014

lilacck28 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

*****************************************************************************************************

No need to fix anything. I chose my words with purpose. If I don't consider him my husband, or call him that, why would I start now? He doesn't refer to me as his wife, nor would I want him to. We'll start as soon as we're pronounced as such after we exchange vows at our wedding. Let's put it this way - if we were suddenly to break up between now and September, I wouldn't think of it as going through a divorce. So why until then would I consider it a marriage? Oh, that's right, I wouldn't.

Honestly, I'm not really bothered by most PPDs. And I've found your responses to be highly amusing, just as I'm sure you intended. But... if you break up... even if you don't feel like you'd be going through a divorce, you know that's exactly what you'll need to get, right? Most of your answers, as I said, are amusing because you generally sound like a fairly intelligent person (even if you're loving back and forth snark on the internet a little too much). But this one just sounded dumb, which you clearly are not. Try again. Of course I know what it would be, from a legal standpoint. More paperwork, more fees to the state. But it wouldn't feel like the end of a marriage to me is what I'm getting at, because from an emotional standpoint, nothing has yet to change. Although to be perfectly honest I'm not sure anything is really going to, but only time will tell.

I was married once before. When we split up and eventually divorced, it felt that way. I don't know if I can explain the two feelings any differently than I've tried on here a bajillion times. I don't fault anyone for getting warm fuzzies over their marriage license, I really don't. I just am not moved to feel the same. It will be when we say I Do, or high five, or whatever it is we're going to do that we'll feel and view our relationship differently (maybe) not when the state says it's time.

lilacck28 · June 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

lilacck28 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

*****************************************************************************************************

No need to fix anything. I chose my words with purpose. If I don't consider him my husband, or call him that, why would I start now? He doesn't refer to me as his wife, nor would I want him to. We'll start as soon as we're pronounced as such after we exchange vows at our wedding. Let's put it this way - if we were suddenly to break up between now and September, I wouldn't think of it as going through a divorce. So why until then would I consider it a marriage? Oh, that's right, I wouldn't.

Honestly, I'm not really bothered by most PPDs. And I've found your responses to be highly amusing, just as I'm sure you intended. But... if you break up... even if you don't feel like you'd be going through a divorce, you know that's exactly what you'll need to get, right? Most of your answers, as I said, are amusing because you generally sound like a fairly intelligent person (even if you're loving back and forth snark on the internet a little too much). But this one just sounded dumb, which you clearly are not. Try again.

Of course I know what it would be, from a legal standpoint. More paperwork, more fees to the state. But it wouldn't feel like the end of a marriage to me is what I'm getting at, because from an emotional standpoint, nothing has yet to change. Although to be perfectly honest I'm not sure anything is really going to, but only time will tell.

I was married once before. When we split up and eventually divorced, it felt that way. I don't know if I can explain the two feelings any differently than I've tried on here a bajillion times. I don't fault anyone for getting warm fuzzies over their marriage license, I really don't. I just am not moved to feel the same. It will be when we say I Do, or high five, or whatever it is we're going to do that we'll feel and view our relationship differently (maybe) not when the state says it's time.

SITB

I did assume that was what you were attempting to say. But you've tried so hard in previous posts to be witty and entertaining, that this instance just fell flat as it was not an adept use of language.

ETA: I have found some previous posts of yours to be fairly well written musings on the social construct of marriage, and how that lends itself to symbolism. Those I appreciated. And the snarky rejoinders posted back and forth between you and other members of the knot, I also appreciated.

mrs4everhart · June 2014

photokitty said:

ladyamanuet said:

Was anyone else surprised that the one with AWish qualities is in her 30s? With all the lying, ME ME ME attitude, and the "our truth" bullshit I wouldn't have guessed over like 23, so I wasn't as disgusted because I thought she was just a spoiled kid who didn't know better (still disgusted, though). Now, holy fuck.

And her second wedding...not that you can't have a big second wedding, I'm just surprised anyone would go to such lengths to have their vision, perfect day, etc the second time around - and at the expense of their guests while lying about the actual wedding date.

I was way more laid back when I got remarried and far more concerned about the marriage and guests - not duping them into spending thousands on a vacation to see me get married when surprise, I already am married, but ya know - I'm not going to tell you, bc the truth will set you free or at least all the money from your wallet or some other BS I think is clever...

This surprises you? No one gets married thinking "well, when I do it again, this is what I'm going to do...." But when life gives your lemons, pull out the vodka and get to it! This is my partner's (is this term a decent compromise for everyone?) first wedding, does he not deserve to have a wedding that is to his liking and preferences too? I'm of the belief that it's not all about the bride. I didn't come up with the plan all by myself and then dictate to everyone around us what they are going to do, where they have to be, etc.

We both decided we wanted a simple beach wedding. No tuxedos or suits, no ball gown, no garter tosses or flinging bouquets. We wanted a tropical beach, great music, great food, tequila and maybe some Cuban cigars. We figured out when and where we could best afford these things. Then we discussed our VIPS. We knew that there would be some people who wouldn't be able to travel either due to health or finances. When we mutually decided we still want what we want we announced our intentions. The reaction we received was more than positive and supportive from most everyone. Those we assumed wouldn't be making the trip won't be, although for different reasons than we assumed. (That's a whole 'nother story for a different board).

Just because I'm in my 30's having my second wedding shouldn't and doesn't mean it's not going to be everything we want it to be (within our control - I'm looking at you, weather!!) In fact, this time around it's even more so to my/our vision because I am older and wiser. I do get to pull from "if I knew then what I know now" type of experience. And we're paying for all of it, which as we all know, does make a huge difference. I don't have to worry about what my Dad thinks of us not doing things in a church I don't even believe in. I don't have to worry about bridesmaid's liking their dresses. I don't have to worry about Aunt so-and-so's feelings about insert-some-bullshit-thing-here. It's small, intimate, easy, in a location everyone who is going is psyched about, and there's no pressure on anyone for anything.

If I had to go through one wedding, marriage and divorce you're darned skippy if I'm getting married again, it's going to be everything we want and can afford. "Perfect" is certainly different this time around. My first wedding was 14 years ago and I planned it as a 23-year old first time bride. My expectations were sky high and looking back, the day was beautiful and wonderful BUT the pressure to pull off this big fairytale eclipsed the true meaning of the day. This time around, and with so many life changes since then, I can agree things are going to be much more laid back and about us and our commitment and relationship, not bustles, and veils and cake utensils and horse-drawn carriages. But I don't think any of this should be shocking. If a person is throwing a wedding they should be able to plan it as they see fit and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

mrs4everhart · June 2014

lilacck28 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

lilacck28 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

*****************************************************************************************************

No need to fix anything. I chose my words with purpose. If I don't consider him my husband, or call him that, why would I start now? He doesn't refer to me as his wife, nor would I want him to. We'll start as soon as we're pronounced as such after we exchange vows at our wedding. Let's put it this way - if we were suddenly to break up between now and September, I wouldn't think of it as going through a divorce. So why until then would I consider it a marriage? Oh, that's right, I wouldn't.

Honestly, I'm not really bothered by most PPDs. And I've found your responses to be highly amusing, just as I'm sure you intended. But... if you break up... even if you don't feel like you'd be going through a divorce, you know that's exactly what you'll need to get, right? Most of your answers, as I said, are amusing because you generally sound like a fairly intelligent person (even if you're loving back and forth snark on the internet a little too much). But this one just sounded dumb, which you clearly are not. Try again.

Of course I know what it would be, from a legal standpoint. More paperwork, more fees to the state. But it wouldn't feel like the end of a marriage to me is what I'm getting at, because from an emotional standpoint, nothing has yet to change. Although to be perfectly honest I'm not sure anything is really going to, but only time will tell.

I was married once before. When we split up and eventually divorced, it felt that way. I don't know if I can explain the two feelings any differently than I've tried on here a bajillion times. I don't fault anyone for getting warm fuzzies over their marriage license, I really don't. I just am not moved to feel the same. It will be when we say I Do, or high five, or whatever it is we're going to do that we'll feel and view our relationship differently (maybe) not when the state says it's time.

SITB
I did assume that was what you were attempting to say. But you've tried so hard in previous posts to be witty and entertaining, that this instance just fell flat as it was not an adept use of language.

ETA: I have found some previous posts of yours to be fairly well written musings on the social construct of marriage, and how that lends itself to symbolism. Those I appreciated. And the snarky rejoinders posted back and forth between you and other members of the knot, I also appreciated.

Witty and entertaining only happens after coffee. And sadly I'm trying to scale back my caffeine intake. It's kind of gotten out of hand lately and I'm getting a little too cracked out a bit too often. But I'm sure my propensity to be a complete smartass will show back up any time now.

I fear your post is going to get you scorned for encouraging me though ;-)

jdluvr06 · June 2014

shrekspeare said:

JCbride2015 said:

ladyamanuet said:

Was anyone else surprised that the one with AWish qualities is in her 30s? With all the lying, ME ME ME attitude, and the "our truth" bullshit I wouldn't have guessed over like 23, so I wasn't as disgusted because I thought she was just a spoiled kid who didn't know better (still disgusted, though). Now, holy fuck.

shrekspeare it's awesome your hubby got out. I've had friends "escape" cult-like environments - and it took them a long time to shake the thinking, even after they were out.
ETF typo

-------Why do I ever have faith my quotes will show up correctly?-------

@shrekspeare, didn't you just get married though? What's the story with this cult thing-- is your DH actually out?

Sorry! Post and run. We did just get married. DH had been volunteering and attending at these life trainings before we started dating. However has not done one since at my request. It was all very strange. He's not active anymore, obviously, although still denies it's a cult. But there are a few reviews online that claim otherwise.

ETA: I can give you more information if you're interested. Everyone I've talked to about it seems semi-fascinated by it.

I know I hadn't asked but I'm so very interested in this.

offensivekitten2 · June 2014

After trying to read STBs posts, I think she's convinced that she's supremely interesting and deserves novels with each post.

Maybe she's like the avatar of Special Snowflakes everywhere? IDG her big ass posts, it's a surefire way of making people not read your shit.

afox007 · June 2014

I will say @ STBMrsEverhart I am fairly impressed with you! Most speshul snowflakes pop up with their bad ideas decide we are all mean and GTFO. To stick around for so long is impressive and for that I present you with this you win:

beethery · June 2014

mrs4everhart · June 2014

offensivekitten2 said:

After trying to read STBs posts, I think she's convinced that she's supremely interesting and deserves novels with each post. Maybe she's like the avatar of Special Snowflakes everywhere? IDG her big ass posts, it's a surefire way of making people not read your shit.

Oh, y'all read them. :-)

mrs4everhart · June 2014

afox007 said:

I will say @ STBMrsEverhart I am fairly impressed with you! Most speshul snowflakes pop up with their bad ideas decide we are all mean and GTFO. To stick around for so long is impressive and for that I present you with this you win:

Nah, I don't think any of you are actually mean. Or bullies, or any of the horseshit I read. Not agreeing with someone doesn't mean they're a bully, and it sure as hell doesn't mean I'm going to take my toys and go home. I just think you all are wrong. Just as y'all think I am. And both groups feel we are doing some sort of service for lurkers who feel akin to our POV. I respect people who have opinions and stand by to defend them coherently. I would expect nothing less from myself.

slothiegal · June 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

Just because I'm in my 30's

SITB

This is honestly what surprised me the most.

C'mon now, you have enough life experience to know better...

What people really think about your PPD...

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