Wedding Etiquette Forum

is it rude to not serve meat?

We're a vegan family, and sampled a few vegan vendors and we have some really delicious options. But my mom is saying it's rude to force our guests to adhere to our diet restrictions (she isn't paying for food, or any part of the wedding. S/O and I are)

I really don't wasn't a meat option, but I don't want to be rude :/
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Re: is it rude to not serve meat?

  • I don't know if it's rude, but as a guest who is not vegan, I would not be happy about being forced to follow a diet that I don't practice. I would equate it to be a vegetarian and not having the option to choose a vegetarian meal at a wedding of non vegetarians.
    kitsunegari89RebeccaB88MissMWoodyogablossom
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You may serve whatever you like, as long as it's appropriate to the time of day.
                       
    NYCMercedespinkshorts27Blue_Bird
  • How many options are normal? I've only been to 2 weddings and they each offered 2 kinds of entrees and neither had a vegetarian option, much less vegan. The most limited vendor we interviewed had a choice of 3.
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I meat at least two, if not three, meals a day. I don't think it's rude. I have had some quite delicious vegetarian and vegan meals and have quite enjoyed them.
    lodele47
  • I'm vegetarian so it's always much appreciated when I have an option that isn't meat. Very few people eat only meat so not having meat doesn't exclude people. My vegan friends served vegan food and cake and no one complained. Infact people went for 2nds and 3rds.
    Blue_Bird
  • I don't know if it's rude, but as a guest who is not vegan, I would not be happy about being forced to follow a diet that I don't practice. I would equate it to be a vegetarian and not having the option to choose a vegetarian meal at a wedding of non vegetarians.

    I just feel really sick about paying for animal products :/ like to the point of changing the wedding from an evening reception to a mid-afternoon one with only appetizers if it's an issue.
    lodele47hales2010Blue_Bird
  • Ok, I feel much better about it then! thanks everyone
    NYCMercedesBlue_Bird
  • Side question, is a food truck tacky? We're having a small wedding, 40 guests and a mobile kitchen has the most variety and is the most cost effective. I like the thought of the atmosphere it'd lend to our offbeat/playful wedding but I've never known anyone to do it and don't know if it's unheard of & for good reason.
    NYCMercedes
  • Not rude at all. ( Daughter's guest list is about 50/50 carnivores and vegetarians, so that was an easy call in our house.)
     As long as it's good and filling, I'm happy to go meatless. No problem. 
    Just don't make me eat tofurkey on Thanksgiving, and I'm good.
    [Deleted User]tlc9615
  • I don't know if it's rude, but as a guest who is not vegan, I would not be happy about being forced to follow a diet that I don't practice. I would equate it to be a vegetarian and not having the option to choose a vegetarian meal at a wedding of non vegetarians.
    I just feel really sick about paying for animal products :/ like to the point of changing the wedding from an evening reception to a mid-afternoon one with only appetizers if it's an issue.
    I am not suggesting that you do the opposite of anything you feel that strongly about; I was just giving my opinion based on how I eat.  I would think that the people who will be attending your wedding know you well enough that they might expect a vegan menu. Again, I said that I didn't think it was rude to have a vegan menu.
  • Side question, is a food truck tacky? We're having a small wedding, 40 guests and a mobile kitchen has the most variety and is the most cost effective. I like the thought of the atmosphere it'd lend to our offbeat/playful wedding but I've never known anyone to do it and don't know if it's unheard of & for good reason.
    I don't think it would be tacky if it fits with the overall feel of your wedding. I would love this personally! As long as the food is delicious and your are hosting your guests, I say go for it! I see a lot of food trucks advertise that they cater weddings so I assume someone must be using them...right?

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    jules3964perdonami
  • As long as there is enough food, it's not rude in my book. Would some people in my family be grumpy about it? Yes but they also won't eat beef unless it's very well done and the only "ethnic" food they eat is Italian. But I would tell them they could suck it up and deal for one meal and try some new things.

    image
    KatieinBklnPrettyGirlLostcupcait927
  • Side question, is a food truck tacky? We're having a small wedding, 40 guests and a mobile kitchen has the most variety and is the most cost effective. I like the thought of the atmosphere it'd lend to our offbeat/playful wedding but I've never known anyone to do it and don't know if it's unheard of & for good reason.
    I don't think it would be tacky if it fits with the overall feel of your wedding. I would love this personally! As long as the food is delicious and your are hosting your guests, I say go for it! I see a lot of food trucks advertise that they cater weddings so I assume someone must be using them...right?
    well there's a lot of things offered/done at weddings that i didn't realize so many people thought were rude until coming here so I thought I'd ask :) 
  • thanks for all the input everyone :) i'll nicely tell my mom to calm down. the food will be amazing and I'm sure my guests will be happy :)

    my guests know I'm vegan but i don't think s/o's does... he's not as strict about it as I am and only eats what I put in front of him (I don't care if he eats meat but I am a stay-at-home mom and cook everything so I stick to my diet instead of making 2 meals) so outside of our friends who we've had to dinner they probably aren't expecing it. should we make it known somehow that it'll be vegan or just have them show up and eat? 
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I don't think you need to make it known that it will be vegan, although you could spread it through word of mouth if you want. It's just one night of not eating meat, it really shouldn't be a big deal at all. People who don't know you are vegan might be surprised there's no meat option just because it's not the norm but I don't think they would be upset.


  • afox007afox007 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2014
    I see no problem with it at all. FI and FSS claim to be carnivores since if I leave them to their own devices they just have steak or chicken and no sides. However, both are still happy when I accidentally cook vegan (usually stuffed mushrooms or this super yummy zuchinni "pasta" with pesto).

    The only time I have been off put by being served vegan food was at a BBQ at FSS's friend's house. His parents recently went vegan and only served tofu dogs and veggie burgers. I would have been fine with that if his stepmom (the one who insisted her family becpme vegan) hasn't scarfed down 3 helpings of the bacon ranch and cheddar pasta salad I had brought.
    image
  • oh man, zucchini pasta is a staple here. my oldest calls them green noodles and BEGS for them and would eat 3x a day 7 days a week ;)

    the guests aren't bringing anything and i;ve been  commited for over a year so hopefully we'll avoid that situation :)
  • @hanckypanky‌ I figured with a wedding you would avoid my situation. I just found it annoying that she was worried meat would contaminate her grill, but happily ate her weight on bacon and cheese :)

    Also any suggestions on zucchini pasta recipes? I usually stick to my just adding pesto and broccoli (occasionally with bacon if I have any).
    image
  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha The Midwestern tundra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    As a semi-meat eater, I don't think so.
    image
  • you can sub them in to any normal pasta recipe, just about! green noodles with spaghetti sauce is a favorite. vegan alfredo too.



    http://www.health-bent.com/sides/paleo-pad-thai (mix equal parts soy sauce and mushroom stock for vegan friendly fish sauce substitute)

    yummo stuff
  • The problem I've see at weddings with food trucks is lines. People generally want to sit down together and eat all at the same time. Food trucks are not set up for serving 40 at once, and the more options they have the longer it takes. Make sure you have talked through a plan with them so people aren't just standing around.

    I would also look for a dish without beans or lentils. I know they're a staple food for many vegans, but for people not used to eating them they are more likely to cause tummy trouble. But all vegan food isn't rude, don't worry about that.
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I don't think it's rude to serve an entirely vegan menu, as long as your guests are being properly hosted with what you are serving.  I would compare it to not serving alcohol.  Perfectly fine, as long as the drinks you are serving are hosted.

    I know a woman who had a vegan wedding reception (not well enough that I would have attended).  I was talking with her when we searched for caterers.  Since FI is a vegetarian, we wanted to make sure we had an excellent vegetarian meal for him and I asked her for catering suggestions.

    She served two different meal choices: vegan lasagne and a portabella and veggie stack.  She did say she went in for several tastings before hand with some non-vegan friends and had the chef tweak the dishes, but that she got tons of compliments on her food from many vegan, vegetarian, and meat eating guests at and after the reception.
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  • I would think its a know your crowd sort of thing. For example I know myself and my friends wouldn't find it rude at all. But my mom and her crowd would talk about how there was no meat - they are all seniors/meat and potatoes type people who don't like trying new things.

    Food truck sounds fun!
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Side question, is a food truck tacky? We're having a small wedding, 40 guests and a mobile kitchen has the most variety and is the most cost effective. I like the thought of the atmosphere it'd lend to our offbeat/playful wedding but I've never known anyone to do it and don't know if it's unheard of & for good reason.
    I think it sounds like fun!  Like other people have said, it all depends on your crowd and the atmosphere you want.  We're having one for our rehearsal dinner (mmm TACO TRUCK).
    Anniversary

    image
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