Wedding Etiquette Forum

is it rude to not serve meat?

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Re: is it rude to not serve meat?

  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    It's not rude at all. 

    Rock your vegan reception! 
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I went to a vegetarian wedding reception. The groom's parents (meat eaters) paid for the reception and it was vegetarian because the B&G are. Nobody side-eyed the delicious food.
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
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    PPs have covered all the bases here. I just came to say that all this talk of tasty vegan food is making this omnivore really hungry!

    (One of my favorite vendors at the local weekly food-fair is vegan. They cater, and if I were having my wedding in NYC instead of back home I would consider them in a hot second.)
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  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
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    Pasta and potatoes are both vegan, right? That's all I need! :)


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  • Not rude. If some of your guests don't know you are vegan they may be surprised but if you have good food they should be fine.

    Food trucks are fun and with a small group like you have it should be fine. Lines could be a problem but if you limit the options to just a few choices you can minimize it a bit.

    We had one cater lunch at work last week and got 100+ people through in 30 mins

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2014
    I don't think it's rude to have your reception incorporate your beliefs about food.  As long as you have enough food for everyone for the time of day, it's good quality and properly prepared and served, and no one is being forced to eat or drink anything that violates their own beliefs or dietary issues, you are fine.
    MollyandD
  •    I wouldn't expect meat to be served at a wedding for a vegan couple. Vegan food can be delicious! some people may grumble, but no one will die if they don't get meat for one meal. 
  • edited June 2014
    I remember a thread where something like sweet potato ravioli came up in conversation as a potential vegetarian option for guests. That sounds delish. I became a flexitarian a couple months ago. This basically means that I often choose a vegetarian (not vegan, i LOVE cheese) option for my meals, but will eat meat when it is served to me or cooked for me. So, my breakfasts and lunches through the workweek are meatless (10 of 21 meals per week). And I'll eat meat when I'm with FH or others. I'd love to go to a vegan wedding if they had delicious food. Therefore I agree with the previous poster about taking a couple meat-eating friends to a tasting so you can tweak recipes if needed. I kinda wonder if removing cheese from a recipe would require the addition of something else to make it a bit more palatable to meaties. ETA; this had paragraphs when I typed it. Sorry.
  • I don't think it is rude. If I went to a wedding of a couple who were vegan I wouldn't expect meat to be seved anyway.
  • I love meat and cheese and I don't think this is rude in the slightest.  As long as you have a variety of food choices, I would be happy!


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  • Erikan73 said:

    As a guest I wouldn't expect you to serve food that you don't believe in consuming. In fact if I came to your wedding knowing your practices, I would be shocked if there was meat. All I would ask a non-vegan person is to provide some "normal" non-meat dishes likes a meatless pasta dish like rigatoni or meatless lasagna. Please do not offer just crazy foods with meat substitutes like tofu. It's ok to serve tofu, but please don't make that the only option.

    That's what I was thinking. If you have a lot of meat and potato types, make sure that one of the options is something you think they'd be okay eating. I recently tried quinoa for the first time and I really enjoyed it, but I before then I was kind of afraid of it because it seemed like this crazy nutty-crunchy food product. Maybe go vegetarian instead of vegan if that's something you're comfortable with. 

    But you're fine, regardless of what you serve.
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    So...vegan food truck? Um...can I come to your wedding? Because that sounds fantastic.

    I'm an eat anything eater. And I have found I really like vegan/vegetarian dishes. They always seem just a bit tastier to me. 
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  • MagicInk said:
    So...vegan food truck? Um...can I come to your wedding? Because that sounds fantastic.

    I'm an eat anything eater. And I have found I really like vegan/vegetarian dishes. They always seem just a bit tastier to me. 

    Me too! I have a I have a theory about that. I think that sometimes with meat dishes people rely too much on the meat to make it tasty and not enough on the seasoning and the balance of the dish. With a vegetarian/vegan dish, I think there is more focus on the seasoning and how the flavors play together.
  • Not rude, but I am wondering it would be helpful to have "choices" on your RSVP card. That way, people have more of a choice  in what they will actually find appealing and then those who REALLY can't live without meat will know to eat ahead of time or something so they aren't starving
    RebeccaB88
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Not rude, but I am wondering it would be helpful to have "choices" on your RSVP card. That way, people have more of a choice  in what they will actually find appealing and then those who REALLY can't live without meat will know to eat ahead of time or something so they aren't starving
    I like this idea. I really do not eat anything vegan, at all. For real. If I was only an acquaintance of the couple, I might not know how strict they are about being vegan. So, while I would not really find it very rude (though maybe slightly disappointing), I'd certainly like to know that I need to eat prior to the wedding. 

     







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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    jdluvr06 said:
    I don't think it is rude. If I went to a wedding of a couple who were vegan I wouldn't expect meat to be served anyway.
    Ditto. 

    I'd be just as shocked if I showed up to a Jewish wedding and saw they were serving ham & swiss sandwiches and biscuits with sausage gravy.

    There are so many delicious vegan dishes out there. Some people can't even tell they're meatless. My friend makes a taco dip that is scarfed up three times as fast as the regular taco dip whenever she brings it to a party. It's so good that even the meatiest of the meatetarians have asked her for the recipe.

  • I love this thread -- so happy to hear everyone's feedback! FI and I are both vegetarians, and are planning an all-vegetarian dinner (with a vegan option too, since we have some vegan guests attending). We're offering three different meal choices, which they will choose when they RSVP. The food is going to be so good though… we hope people don't miss the meat too much.
  • PPs covered it already, but my own opinion. I don't think it's rude at all. I do think a card with the meal options so that they are prepared is a good idea, too. Personally, I tend to go for the vegetarian/vegan option at these types of thing even though I do eat meat. 
  • Yes, I agree with PPs about letting guests know the meals in advance.  I tend to be a picky eater, so I might do some pre-eating before your wedding :)  But you should feel free to serve what you want.

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  • If we go with the food truck they would just do their normal menu, should I include that information on our website?

    We're planning for 40 but don't think more than 30 because several invitees are elderly out of town family members we don't expect to travel (but would love if they do!)

    We would use the line as an opportunity to greet everyone as well, like an informal receiving line we'd walk down.so they wouldn't be standing around bored waiting to order :)
  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish member
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    The PPs have covered it well. But it sounds wonderful- I usually eat vegetarian (not vegan) and love food trucks. I wanna go!
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  • Not serving meat is one thing; Making everyone eat vegan is another. I can handle having some foods without meat or a cheese/tomato pasta dish. If the cheese is fake tofu cheese, though? Not so much. Give people a variety of choices. You can even have a vegan option or two. Don't make everyone forgo eggs and milk or honey or cheese just because you choose to. Sorry, but I don't agree that everyone will be fine with all-vegan options. I would have had a mutiny on my hands if I had done that to my guests.
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    jdluvr06 said:
    MagicInk said:
    So...vegan food truck? Um...can I come to your wedding? Because that sounds fantastic.

    I'm an eat anything eater. And I have found I really like vegan/vegetarian dishes. They always seem just a bit tastier to me. 

    Me too! I have a I have a theory about that. I think that sometimes with meat dishes people rely too much on the meat to make it tasty and not enough on the seasoning and the balance of the dish. With a vegetarian/vegan dish, I think there is more focus on the seasoning and how the flavors play together.
    That's my theory too! 
    jdluvr06
  • hanckypankyhanckypanky member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    And that was when I wasn't vegan so I think our guests will be fine and if not I truly believe it's because they're determined to be snobby about veganism and refuse to like the food on principle.
    ashley8918NYCBruinhellohkbcarliealissa
  • And that was when I wasn't vegan so I think our guests will be fine and if not I truly believe it's because they're determined to be snobby about veganism and refuse to like the food on principle.
    This is why I wouldn't necessarily advertise that everything is vegan — just list what the options are. 

    We're having vegan cupcakes, but aren't going to label them as such because I know a few people would refuse to eat them just because they *assume* they won't taste good. We expect those same people to walk around raving about those fantastic cupcakes, unaware that they are vegan... haha.
    ashley8918hellohkbcarliealissa
  • saacjwsaacjw member
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    NYCBruin said:
    Not serving meat is one thing; Making everyone eat vegan is another. I can handle having some foods without meat or a cheese/tomato pasta dish. If the cheese is fake tofu cheese, though? Not so much. Give people a variety of choices. You can even have a vegan option or two. Don't make everyone forgo eggs and milk or honey or cheese just because you choose to. Sorry, but I don't agree that everyone will be fine with all-vegan options. I would have had a mutiny on my hands if I had done that to my guests.
    Do you really ONLY eat food with meat, cheese, eggs, milk and honey in them??

    Offering only vegan choices isn't "forcing" someone to eat vegan.  Non-vegans eat "vegan" foods all the time.
    I am a total meat eater and tonight, my meal plan is one bit of optional cheese away from being vegan. You'd never miss the cheese if I choose not to add it or notice that there's no meat. I cook with a vegan cookbook frequently because I run out of good ideas for vegetables and use things as a side dish. Furthermore, it will hurt no one to not eat those things for one meal. 
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