is it rude to not serve meat?

hanckypanky · June 2014

that info isn't on the website and i don't remember discussing it with the place, we talked to a lot of vendors. i'm planning to get it for our website though

Knottie45547263 · June 2014

Just make sure you have a lot of different options available to your guests. Also, be sure that your guests don't have any food sensitivities. FI is allergic to mushrooms, tofu, any soy product really, corn, nuts, etc. so he'd could be limited by what you serve. Letting your guests know this might allow them to eat a little beforehand so they don't go hungry. I'm also very picky and don't enjoy a lot of foods - I stick to staples.

hanckypanky · June 2014

yes, i already said we are having a nut free menu as well due to some guest allergies

and i posted the options on the last page.

jenajjthr · June 2014

If you are vegan, then you are not expected to serve meat even if you know you have meat eaters in attendance, (some like my husband don't really eat veggies because they have texture issues and avoid them at all cost) but you are not being rude if you don't. Meat eaters can suck it up for 6 hours, eat before or after, they aren' going to starve if they don't eat then and there.

If you do eat meat, then you HAVE to provide at least a vegetarian option, if needed, or you are a rude host. This is a life style choice, stomachs can't handle meat any more, it's rude not to accommodate them, etc.

Why the difference in which host is rude and which is not?

If you choose to be vegan, awesome, but why force that on me? I sort of understand the ethics, but plants are living things as well. They have to be killed for our sustenance. What makes one killing better than the rest? That is where I think both sides need to be accommodating. You, again general you, may not approve of something, but remember not all guests hold those beliefs and should be hosted properly (both sides).

For meat eaters find something more than mashed potatoes, veggies, or pasta with marinara.

For vegans, be just as accommodating, it doesn't have to be steak, but there are meat dishes out there that are fulfilling, but aren't in your face either.

hanckypanky · June 2014

jenajjthr said:

If you are vegan, then you are not expected to serve meat even if you know you have meat eaters in attendance, (some like my husband don't really eat veggies because they have texture issues and avoid them at all cost) but you are not being rude if you don't. Meat eaters can suck it up for 6 hours, eat before or after, they aren' going to starve if they don't eat then and there. If you do eat meat, then you HAVE to provide at least a vegetarian option, if needed, or you are a rude host. This is a life style choice, stomachs can't handle meat any more, it's rude not to accommodate them, etc. Why the difference in which host is rude and which is not? If you choose to be vegan, awesome, but why force that on me? I sort of understand the ethics, but plants are living things as well. They have to be killed for our sustenance. What makes one killing better than the rest? That is where I think both sides need to be accommodating. You, again general you, may not approve of something, but remember not all guests hold those beliefs and should be hosted properly (both sides). For meat eaters find something more than mashed potatoes, veggies, or pasta with marinara. For vegans, be just as accommodating, it doesn't have to be steak, but there are meat dishes out there that are fulfilling, but aren't in your face either.

what? you start out saying one thing and then literally right under it say the exact opposite.

and plants aren't sentient. that's a seriously stupid argument.

AlexisA01 · June 2014

hanckypanky said:

jenajjthr said:

If you are vegan, then you are not expected to serve meat even if you know you have meat eaters in attendance, (some like my husband don't really eat veggies because they have texture issues and avoid them at all cost) but you are not being rude if you don't. Meat eaters can suck it up for 6 hours, eat before or after, they aren' going to starve if they don't eat then and there. If you do eat meat, then you HAVE to provide at least a vegetarian option, if needed, or you are a rude host. This is a life style choice, stomachs can't handle meat any more, it's rude not to accommodate them, etc. Why the difference in which host is rude and which is not? If you choose to be vegan, awesome, but why force that on me? I sort of understand the ethics, but plants are living things as well. They have to be killed for our sustenance. What makes one killing better than the rest? That is where I think both sides need to be accommodating. You, again general you, may not approve of something, but remember not all guests hold those beliefs and should be hosted properly (both sides). For meat eaters find something more than mashed potatoes, veggies, or pasta with marinara. For vegans, be just as accommodating, it doesn't have to be steak, but there are meat dishes out there that are fulfilling, but aren't in your face either.

what? you start out saying one thing and then literally right under it say the exact opposite.

and plants aren't sentient. that's a seriously stupid argument.

In a whole nutshell and I could be wrong I am assuming, is that the poster meant if they are accommodating in the needs of the guest; it should go both ways, vegan or not since the reception is a thank you for the guest. People make vegan/vegetarian meals for guest to accommodate their needs but why not do the same if your guest are not vegan. Why is it okay for one way but not the other. That asked in the first part. It's off topic but just wondering why. I hope this help (I am just deciphering what she meant as close as possible)

@hanckypanky

hanckypanky · June 2014

AlexisA01 said:

hanckypanky said:

jenajjthr said:

If you are vegan, then you are not expected to serve meat even if you know you have meat eaters in attendance, (some like my husband don't really eat veggies because they have texture issues and avoid them at all cost) but you are not being rude if you don't. Meat eaters can suck it up for 6 hours, eat before or after, they aren' going to starve if they don't eat then and there. If you do eat meat, then you HAVE to provide at least a vegetarian option, if needed, or you are a rude host. This is a life style choice, stomachs can't handle meat any more, it's rude not to accommodate them, etc. Why the difference in which host is rude and which is not? If you choose to be vegan, awesome, but why force that on me? I sort of understand the ethics, but plants are living things as well. They have to be killed for our sustenance. What makes one killing better than the rest? That is where I think both sides need to be accommodating. You, again general you, may not approve of something, but remember not all guests hold those beliefs and should be hosted properly (both sides). For meat eaters find something more than mashed potatoes, veggies, or pasta with marinara. For vegans, be just as accommodating, it doesn't have to be steak, but there are meat dishes out there that are fulfilling, but aren't in your face either.

what? you start out saying one thing and then literally right under it say the exact opposite.

and plants aren't sentient. that's a seriously stupid argument.

In a whole nutshell and I could be wrong I am assuming, is that the poster meant if they are accommodating in the needs of the guest; it should go both ways, vegan or not since the reception is a thank you for the guest. People make vegan/vegetarian meals for guest to accommodate their needs but why not do the same if your guest are not vegan. Why is it okay for one way but not the other. That asked in the first part. It's off topic but just wondering why. I hope this help (I am just deciphering what she meant as close as possible)

@hanckypanky

maybe. and if they did, the reason would be i've never heard of anyone being morally or religiously against eating plants....

Simply Fated · June 2014

hanckypanky said:

AlexisA01 said:

hanckypanky said:

jenajjthr said:

If you are vegan, then you are not expected to serve meat even if you know you have meat eaters in attendance, (some like my husband don't really eat veggies because they have texture issues and avoid them at all cost) but you are not being rude if you don't. Meat eaters can suck it up for 6 hours, eat before or after, they aren' going to starve if they don't eat then and there.

If you do eat meat, then you HAVE to provide at least a vegetarian option, if needed, or you are a rude host. This is a life style choice, stomachs can't handle meat any more, it's rude not to accommodate them, etc.

Why the difference in which host is rude and which is not?

If you choose to be vegan, awesome, but why force that on me? I sort of understand the ethics, but plants are living things as well. They have to be killed for our sustenance. What makes one killing better than the rest? That is where I think both sides need to be accommodating. You, again general you, may not approve of something, but remember not all guests hold those beliefs and should be hosted properly (both sides).

For meat eaters find something more than mashed potatoes, veggies, or pasta with marinara.

For vegans, be just as accommodating, it doesn't have to be steak, but there are meat dishes out there that are fulfilling, but aren't in your face either.

what? you start out saying one thing and then literally right under it say the exact opposite.

and plants aren't sentient. that's a seriously stupid argument.

In a whole nutshell and I could be wrong I am assuming, is that the poster meant if they are accommodating in the needs of the guest; it should go both ways, vegan or not since the reception is a thank you for the guest. People make vegan/vegetarian meals for guest to accommodate their needs but why not do the same if your guest are not vegan. Why is it okay for one way but not the other. That asked in the first part. It's off topic but just wondering why. I hope this help (I am just deciphering what she meant as close as possible)

@hanckypanky

maybe. and if they did, the reason would be i've never heard of anyone being morally or religiously against eating plants....

I have. Jain vegetarians. They won't eat root vegetables.

hanckypanky · June 2014

well, i haven't met a Jain vegetarian and am not inviting any to the wedding, so i think we're good on that front

Simply Fated · June 2014

hanckypanky said:
well, i haven't met a Jain vegetarian and am not inviting any to the wedding, so i think we're good on that front

Not to get offtopic... but how do you know you have never met one? Do they come with signs attached to their foreheads?

hanckypanky · June 2014

Simply Fated said:

hanckypanky said:
well, i haven't met a Jain vegetarian and am not inviting any to the wedding, so i think we're good on that front
Not to get offtopic... but how do you know you have never met one? Do they come with signs attached to their foreheads?

fine, I don't know i've never met one. Still not having at any at the wedding, so. And since either my S/O or I asked about dietary restrictions, we DO know that.

offensivekitten2 · June 2014

jenajjthr said:

If you are vegan, then you are not expected to serve meat even if you know you have meat eaters in attendance, (some like my husband don't really eat veggies because they have texture issues and avoid them at all cost) but you are not being rude if you don't. Meat eaters can suck it up for 6 hours, eat before or after, they aren' going to starve if they don't eat then and there. If you do eat meat, then you HAVE to provide at least a vegetarian option, if needed, or you are a rude host. This is a life style choice, stomachs can't handle meat any more, it's rude not to accommodate them, etc. Why the difference in which host is rude and which is not? If you choose to be vegan, awesome, but why force that on me? I sort of understand the ethics, but plants are living things as well. They have to be killed for our sustenance. What makes one killing better than the rest? That is where I think both sides need to be accommodating. You, again general you, may not approve of something, but remember not all guests hold those beliefs and should be hosted properly (both sides). For meat eaters find something more than mashed potatoes, veggies, or pasta with marinara. For vegans, be just as accommodating, it doesn't have to be steak, but there are meat dishes out there that are fulfilling, but aren't in your face either.

A.) Your post makes no sense

B.) If you are arguing that 'good hosting' requires people to violate basic ethical beliefs, you are crazy. The host doesn't want to put money into an industry that puts baby animals in grinders for being the wrong gender. Or worse, trap them in tiny boxes where they can't move so they 'taste better'. I'm not even close to vegetarian, and I can understand someone being repulsed by that and swearing off of it. If you can't, then you lack some serious empathy.

NYCBruin · June 2014

jenajjthr said:

If you are vegan, then you are not expected to serve meat even if you know you have meat eaters in attendance, (some like my husband don't really eat veggies because they have texture issues and avoid them at all cost) but you are not being rude if you don't. Meat eaters can suck it up for 6 hours, eat before or after, they aren' going to starve if they don't eat then and there. If you do eat meat, then you HAVE to provide at least a vegetarian option, if needed, or you are a rude host. This is a life style choice, stomachs can't handle meat any more, it's rude not to accommodate them, etc. Why the difference in which host is rude and which is not? If you choose to be vegan, awesome, but why force that on me? I sort of understand the ethics, but plants are living things as well. They have to be killed for our sustenance. What makes one killing better than the rest? That is where I think both sides need to be accommodating. You, again general you, may not approve of something, but remember not all guests hold those beliefs and should be hosted properly (both sides). For meat eaters find something more than mashed potatoes, veggies, or pasta with marinara. For vegans, be just as accommodating, it doesn't have to be steak, but there are meat dishes out there that are fulfilling, but aren't in your face either.

This post is ridiculous and offensive. Asking someone who eats meat to offer a vegetarian option is completely different than asking a vegan to offer meat. One is asking someone to pay for something they are morally/ethically opposed to an one does not.

The more appropriate analogy here would be to drinks. Those who enjoy alcohol are expected to offer non-alcoholic options because otherwise the non-drinkers would be very thirsty. Those who do not drink are not required to offer booze. If you are at a dry wedding and you don't enjoy the non-alcoholic drinks offered (let's say you don't drink iced tea, but that's the only offering), then you're stuck with water but you can't say that you were forced to be thirsty. You just didn't like the options offered. There's nothing rude about the host not catering to your specific desires.

If someone is at a vegan wedding and decides they don't like the entree options, then they may have to fill up on sides. Too bad, but that's what happens when you're picky and don't like the choices offered. If I don't eat fish and don't like chicken, but those are the only two choices offered by the host, that's on me and not on the host. The fact that the entree choices just happen to not include meat doesn't magically make it rude to not offer a guests' first choice.

sarawifenow · June 2014

I'm sure someone already asked this, but was this in the newsletter? I am feeling lazy and don't feel like scrolling.

sofakingmad · June 2014

This thread is just hilarious to me.

OP, have your vegan wedding. There is nothing rude about.

If someone has an allergy to nuts, mushrooms, gluten, or whatever, they should write it on the RSVP card just like they would if it was any other wedding.

Not eating meat for one day will not kill you.

And LOL at whoever said that they don't eat anything plant based. I think you need to reevaluate your diet.

sofakingmad · June 2014

And also, food at weddings is really just a cushion for all of the drinking. I don't really enjoy the food at weddings, because for the most part, it's pretty disgusting.

LDay2014 · June 2014

to those of you who are complaining about the lack of meat, how is this any different than complaining about a lack of alcohol/specific drinks?

You graciously accept what the hosts are offering you...if you want to go for a big mac afterwards because you didn't like the food then that's on you but it doesn't negate the fact that the host offered you an appropriate amount of food for the time of day.

Kauris · June 2014

SaraBrideSoon said:

I'm sure someone already asked this, but was this in the newsletter? I am feeling lazy and don't feel like scrolling.

No, the one in the newsletter is ever BETTER! They want their guests to pay an entrance fee to the state park they are having their wedding in!!

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/wedding-planning-advice/qa/ask-wedding-guests-to-pay-entrance-fee.aspx?cm_ven=Responsys&cm_cat=KnotNews&cm_ite=June 23, 2014

iloveotters2014 · June 2014

Soooooo....OP I think what you can say you have learned from this post is that you can NEVER please everyone.

Have your vegan wedding. Vegan food is great, you are doing your best to accommodate everyone while sticking with your beliefs. Which is all you can really do. Yes, there will be a few oddball guests that think it's gross and will snub you (more than likely not to your face)....but seriously, if they can't have an open mind for ONE evening, that's on them.

A friend of mine recently had a vegan wedding. the food was awesome. I love the idea of having something more unique than your typical plated chicken, mashed potatoes, and mushy veggies.

I personally am not a vegetarian or vegan but I only eat locally grown, organic, free range meat. I had a BBQ food truck for my wedding that only served local, hormone free meat. Along with some seriously amazing organic veggies, meat free baked beans....etc. I did my best to make everyone happy, and I honestly think most were. Im sure some people were expecting more standard plated "wedding" food...all you can say is sorry? and move on

pinkshorts27 · June 2014

hanckypanky said:

Simply Fated said:

Out of curiosity, what are these multiple choices you speak of? I love trying new food and "vegan" doesn't sound daunting to me. I like hummus and mushrooms and all that. But my bf doesn't like most of the examples pps have mentioned in this thread. I think it comes down to what the choices are, regardless if they're vegan or meatacular.

vegan burgers, sushi, tacos, salads, hummus platter, and hot subs!

I can eat vegan burgers, but usually don't like the taste. I can't eat sushi and dislike salads (well, as meals) and hummus platters. What is in the taco/subs if not cheese and meat? I mean that is pretty much what I put in tacos and subs. Is this in addition to the cheeseless pizza? (Probably wouldn't like that though, best part of pizza is the cheese), but as I said I'm a picky eater. I think those are a good variety if it is really serving all of that. You should be able to make most happy with that.

thisismynickname2 · June 2014

I'm replying without reading all five pages (disclaimer).

I agree with posts I've read so far that serving delicious food and plenty of it is all that matters.

I also agree that you don't necessarily need to disclose "vegan" because you will turn people off, but still present the meal options on the RSVP card (veggie lasagna / sweet potato ravioli).

People don't believe me when I say vegan food is great, particularly cupcakes and milkshakes in vegan form! I truly believe people just get turned off by the title and being technically out of their comfort zone.

I wanted to mention this anecdote. I'm pescatarian and have been for years; my ex that got me into this was vegetarian and even tried to go vegan (but failed... cheese, yo). My sister, with whom I have some friction, said, "If you guys get married and have a vegetarian wedding I'm not coming."

She was serious... seriously bitchy. For anyone considering this, please don't sacrifice your beliefs because some people are picky eaters. Just go about your business offering a robust menu of your liking and enjoy the day. (Allergies are another ball game for other threads, by the way.)

jdluvr06 · June 2014

I have nothing more to add but I have to say that I regularly pull the cheese off my pizza and it taste so good without the cheese. I love the flavor of the sauces though.

simcal18 · June 2014

If you want to serve vegan food at your wedding, you are perfectly within your rights to do so. Some guests may not like it, but whenever you host a large group of people, you are likely to have some segment of the guests that aren't huge fans of what you're serving--whether it's barbecue, sushi, vegan cuisine, etc. However, please don't try to "hide" that you're serving vegan food. You don't have to plaster "VEGAN!!!!!" over every single piece of stationary, but some guests may have allergies to ingredients that are commonly used as substitutes in vegan cuisine. Plus, it's plain common courtesy to let guests know what they're eating. So if you're serving vegan "chicken," baked goods, or anything else containing ingredients that a non-vegan eater might not normally expect to be there, please make sure the food is labeled appropriately.

hanckypanky · June 2014

@iloveotters2014, how did the food truck go? did it take forever? @scribe95, there's plenty of non-meat protein.

arrippa · June 2014

jdluvr06 said:

I have nothing more to add but I have to say that I regularly pull the cheese off my pizza and it taste so good without the cheese. I love the flavor of the sauces though.

My dad hates cheese and always orders his pizza without it. It use to gross us out, but it's actually not bad. I could never give up my cheese though.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

I'm just baffled at all the people who don't seem to realize that vegetables contain protein. There are 7 grams of protein in one stalk of broccoli, for crying out loud. It's more protein-dense than meat. And I'm willing to bet most of ya'll aren't body builders who need excessive amounts of protein in every meal, and even if you are you will NOT, in fact, shrivel up like King Triton when he got turned into seaweed if you go one meal without 2 chicken breasts and 8 scrambled egg whites. Americans eat 50% more protein per day than we need to. You will survive.

Simply Fated · June 2014

hanckypanky said:
@iloveotters2014, how did the food truck go? did it take forever?

@scribe95, there's plenty of non-meat protein.

That's why I asked for specifics, regarding what's actually IN the tacos and all that. A lot has to do with allergies and preference, a lot has to do with actual protein.
You are never going to be able to please EVERYONE, I think you just have a bigger challenge on your plate, is all.

simcal18 · June 2014

lolo883 said:

I'm just baffled at all the people who don't seem to realize that vegetables contain protein. There are 7 grams of protein in one stalk of broccoli, for crying out loud. It's more protein-dense than meat. And I'm willing to bet most of ya'll aren't body builders who need excessive amounts of protein in every meal, and even if you are you will NOT, in fact, shrivel up like King Triton when he got turned into seaweed if you go one meal without 2 chicken breasts and 8 scrambled egg whites. Americans eat 50% more protein per day than we need to. You will survive.

Not sure where this chart is from but it's super misleading. A skinless chicken breast is 92% protein. Extra lean ground beef is around 70% protein. And yes, most Americans do eat more protein than is strictly necessary for survival, but for those of us who are carb sensitive and like to avoid blood sugar crashes, it can be hard to find an acceptable dietary replacement for a juicy hunk of animal flesh. None of this is to say that the OP shouldn't serve vegan food at her wedding--she can and should absolutely serve food that is in accord with her belief system. But she can do it without denigrating the dietary choices of others.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

mskatia said:

lolo883 said:

I'm just baffled at all the people who don't seem to realize that vegetables contain protein. There are 7 grams of protein in one stalk of broccoli, for crying out loud. It's more protein-dense than meat. And I'm willing to bet most of ya'll aren't body builders who need excessive amounts of protein in every meal, and even if you are you will NOT, in fact, shrivel up like King Triton when he got turned into seaweed if you go one meal without 2 chicken breasts and 8 scrambled egg whites. Americans eat 50% more protein per day than we need to. You will survive.

Not sure where this chart is from but it's super misleading. A skinless chicken breast is 92% protein. Extra lean ground beef is around 70% protein. And yes, most Americans do eat more protein than is strictly necessary for survival, but for those of us who are carb sensitive and like to avoid blood sugar crashes, it can be hard to find an acceptable dietary replacement for a juicy hunk of animal flesh. None of this is to say that the OP shouldn't serve vegan food at her wedding--she can and should absolutely serve food that is in accord with her belief system. But she can do it without denigrating the dietary choices of others.

First bolded... no, it's not. The numbers I gave represent the grams of protein per 100 grams of each food, and there are a number of sources that back it up. Here's one promoting meat that still gives numbers as low as mine. http://www.healthaliciousness.com/articles/foods-highest-in-protein.php

Second bolded... a meatless diet doesn't have to be high in carbs. Again with my broccoli example, one serving has 3% DV of carbs, 15% fiber and 8% protein.

Third bolded... where did I do that? I'm not denigrating anything but the misinformed attitude of a lot of people. Make whatever choices you want but if you make them based on bunk science, your decision-making abilities are gonna get snark from me. And nobody should insist that someone has to go against her moral values just because they refuse to believe that vegetables have protein and think a meal without meat is somehow going to harm them. If someone's diet is THAT strict that they just could not survive a vegan meal... they should just decline.

Listen, nobody has to like her vegan food. I haven't liked the food that was served at most weddings I've been to. I didn't bitch to the hosts about it, I ate that dried out, flavorless buffet chicken graciously.

hanckypanky · June 2014

lolo883 said:

I'm just baffled at all the people who don't seem to realize that vegetables contain protein. There are 7 grams of protein in one stalk of broccoli, for crying out loud. It's more protein-dense than meat. And I'm willing to bet most of ya'll aren't body builders who need excessive amounts of protein in every meal, and even if you are you will NOT, in fact, shrivel up like King Triton when he got turned into seaweed if you go one meal without 2 chicken breasts and 8 scrambled egg whites. Americans eat 50% more protein per day than we need to. You will survive.

i can't read the graphic so i'm not sure whta they're saying but one serving of spinach isn't 43% of your daily protein.

i guet most of mine from lentils and legumes. and vegan protein powder in shakes... but i am actuall a marathon runner and need quite a bit of protein

is it rude to not serve meat?

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