is it rude to not serve meat?

NYCBruin · June 2014

pinkshorts27 said:

NYCBruin said:

jenajjthr said:

I wanted to know why one host (meat eater/omnivore) has to offer a choice, but one host (vegetarian/vegan) doesn't have to take ALL their guests into consideration. I did serve a vegan option at my wedding. I will be taking my now diagnosed diabetic niece and newly diagnosed niece with Crohn's at the graduation party for my stepson into consideration, no vegetarians this time. I do have vegetarian friends, none vegan, and although none would go so far as to provide steak, they would take my comfort level into account when having me at their hosted event. That may mean finding some meat dish or finding a non meat dish that isn't to their particular liking. I didn't like the vegetarian option at my wedding, but then again, I wasn't eating eat, they were. I made sure their comfort came before my own, like a good host should. That is my point. It stops being about me when I invite others. I kind of get annoyed that I'm told that I can suck it up for one meal, but gosh darn it my vegan friends can't. You are right, they can't. It would be downright rude. So it is to be just as rude to me. Doesn't mean you have to give this "entitled" meat eater steak, but it would be nice if you gave me just as much consideration as this meat eater gave you.

If you don't offer a vegan option to a vegan, they can't eat without doing something they are morally opposed to. This would be like telling a Jewish person to "suck it up" and eat ham or a Hindu person to "suck it up" and eat beef. Now if you offer an option that isn't offensive to their beliefs but they choose to not eat that either, that's on them and not on the host.

You aren't doing something you're morally opposed to by eating a vegan meal; you're just eating something you don't like as much as meat. You can eat it without moral reservation, you're just being picky and/or to be an asshat.

And a long time ago, I was vegetarian for while. Middle school thought I'd try not eating meat. My parents let me do whatever. Once I started eating meat again, I wanted a cheese burger, it made me sick. If you don't eat meat for a long time, even without being morally opposed to meat, eating meat can make you sick. I can't imagine that eating any non-meat dish makes meat-eaters sick.

Yes, I forgot to add this! One of my friends hadn't eaten meat in years and we were at a restaurant that accidentally swapped her vegetarian option for a meal with turkey in it. She realized a few bites in that something tasted "off" and stopped eating. She was sick for DAYS because her body couldn't process meat.

jules3964 · June 2014

jenajjthr said:
Serious question...Why is the vegan choice more valid than mine? Gonna play this argument out since you think I'm throwing a temper tantrum. Actually I'm sitting in my chair, with a mild migraine, being as logical as I can. I understand that a person who has chosen to be a vegetarian/vegan has done so with very strong convictions and it should be respected. But that doesn't mean my choice to eat meat is any less valid. I can eat a non meat dish, and have eaten them, but my vegetarian friends have made sure it would be something I like. They did this by talking to me, finding out my likes and dislikes when it came to non meat food if they didn't want to pay for meat. What they didn't do was tell me to suck it up for one meal and treat me as less than. If I'm close enough to be invited to their party, then I'm close enough to be considered to when it comes to choosing their menu.

Sometimes I think people who are vegetarian/vegan have this holier than thou attitude towards people who eat meat. Like we are some stupid neanderthals who don't know any better. We kill, we bad.

Nobody has ever asked me what I wanted to eat as my vegetarian meal at a wedding. I ate whatever vegetarian meal they graciously provided.

Also, I don't understand why some meat-eaters think we are judging your meat-eating choices. We're not. Do what you want. Just because some specific asshole had a holier than thou attitude does not mean all or most vegans/vegetarians do.

AddieCake · June 2014

All that really matters is if there is delicious cake there.

jenajjthr · June 2014

NYCBruin said:

jenajjthr said:

I wanted to know why one host (meat eater/omnivore) has to offer a choice, but one host (vegetarian/vegan) doesn't have to take ALL their guests into consideration. I did serve a vegan option at my wedding. I will be taking my now diagnosed diabetic niece and newly diagnosed niece with Crohn's at the graduation party for my stepson into consideration, no vegetarians this time. I do have vegetarian friends, none vegan, and although none would go so far as to provide steak, they would take my comfort level into account when having me at their hosted event. That may mean finding some meat dish or finding a non meat dish that isn't to their particular liking. I didn't like the vegetarian option at my wedding, but then again, I wasn't eating eat, they were. I made sure their comfort came before my own, like a good host should. That is my point. It stops being about me when I invite others. I kind of get annoyed that I'm told that I can suck it up for one meal, but gosh darn it my vegan friends can't. You are right, they can't. It would be downright rude. So it is to be just as rude to me. Doesn't mean you have to give this "entitled" meat eater steak, but it would be nice if you gave me just as much consideration as this meat eater gave you.

If you don't offer a vegan option to a vegan, they can't eat without doing something they are morally opposed to. This would be like telling a Jewish person to "suck it up" and eat ham or a Hindu person to "suck it up" and eat beef. Now if you offer an option that isn't offensive to their beliefs but they choose to not eat that either, that's on them and not on the host.

You aren't doing something you're morally opposed to by eating a vegan meal; you're just eating something you don't like as much as meat. You can eat it without moral reservation, you're just being picky and/or to be an asshat.

That would be true if every single vegetarian/vegan out there ate that way because of morals/ethics. But that isn't the case. My vegetarian friends are because of health reasons. They can eat the meat, but are choosing not to. They aren't morally opposed to meat, they could eat it without moral reservation, but why make them when I don't have to? If your vegetarian/vegan friends are of the ethical kind I can see why your arguments come from a quite different angle. I'm not opposed to vegan food, just don't like the vast majority of it. They see the same for me, why make me eat something I don't like either? I could eat it without moral reservation, but they don't want me to be uncomfortable either (although our reasons are different).

As for the religious aspect. For the practicing members of faith that goes along with the vegetarians/vegans who have chosen that lifestyle based on morals and ethics (where your arguments stem from). No they can't suck it up, and yes that is why you offer them a choice of something they can eat. I just think that the same consideration can go both ways. For these followers, no I don't think the Jewish or Muslim faith will be serving me pork. Nor do I think that these vegans will be giving me STEAK! but I would expect that my comfort level would be considered in their planning. Just like theirs (if I had these type of friends) would have been taken in mine.

So is it rude not to serve meat...not really. Is it rude to say I'm a vegetarian/vegan and won't consider that some of my guests aren't and they can suck it up for one meal....hell yes. But that's my opinion.

AlexisA01 · June 2014

AddieCake said:

All that really matters is if there is delicious cake there.

SITB
Very True.

hanckypanky · June 2014

jenajjthr said:

NYCBruin said:

jenajjthr said:

I wanted to know why one host (meat eater/omnivore) has to offer a choice, but one host (vegetarian/vegan) doesn't have to take ALL their guests into consideration. I did serve a vegan option at my wedding. I will be taking my now diagnosed diabetic niece and newly diagnosed niece with Crohn's at the graduation party for my stepson into consideration, no vegetarians this time.

I do have vegetarian friends, none vegan, and although none would go so far as to provide steak, they would take my comfort level into account when having me at their hosted event. That may mean finding some meat dish or finding a non meat dish that isn't to their particular liking. I didn't like the vegetarian option at my wedding, but then again, I wasn't eating eat, they were. I made sure their comfort came before my own, like a good host should. That is my point. It stops being about me when I invite others.

I kind of get annoyed that I'm told that I can suck it up for one meal, but gosh darn it my vegan friends can't. You are right, they can't. It would be downright rude. So it is to be just as rude to me. Doesn't mean you have to give this "entitled" meat eater steak, but it would be nice if you gave me just as much consideration as this meat eater gave you.

If you don't offer a vegan option to a vegan, they can't eat without doing something they are morally opposed to. This would be like telling a Jewish person to "suck it up" and eat ham or a Hindu person to "suck it up" and eat beef. Now if you offer an option that isn't offensive to their beliefs but they choose to not eat that either, that's on them and not on the host.

You aren't doing something you're morally opposed to by eating a vegan meal; you're just eating something you don't like as much as meat. You can eat it without moral reservation, you're just being picky and/or to be an asshat.

That would be true if every single vegetarian/vegan out there ate that way because of morals/ethics. But that isn't the case. My vegetarian friends are because of health reasons. They can eat the meat, but are choosing not to. They aren't morally opposed to meat, they could eat it without moral reservation, but why make them when I don't have to? If your vegetarian/vegan friends are of the ethical kind I can see why your arguments come from a quite different angle. I'm not opposed to vegan food, just don't like the vast majority of it. They see the same for me, why make me eat something I don't like either? I could eat it without moral reservation, but they don't want me to be uncomfortable either (although our reasons are different).

As for the religious aspect. For the practicing members of faith that goes along with the vegetarians/vegans who have chosen that lifestyle based on morals and ethics (where your arguments stem from). No they can't suck it up, and yes that is why you offer them a choice of something they can eat. I just think that the same consideration can go both ways. For these followers, no I don't think the Jewish or Muslim faith will be serving me pork. Nor do I think that these vegans will be giving me STEAK! but I would expect that my comfort level would be considered in their planning. Just like theirs (if I had these type of friends) would have been taken in mine.

So is it rude not to serve meat...not really. Is it rude to say I'm a vegetarian/vegan and won't consider that some of my guests aren't and they can suck it up for one meal....hell yes. But that's my opinion.

well, I think by now we've established that your opinion means exactly nothing.

jenajjthr · June 2014

hanckypanky said:

Simply put, my beliefs are more valid because they're.... Y'know actual fucking beliefs and not an extreme argument made for the sake of some ridiculous point that you're not serious about. You're not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Gtfo with that.

Nope, not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Just a severe psychological issue due to forcibly being fed them as a child. One that is not some ridiculous point that I'm not serious about. One that causes me to physically get sick at the sight of some vegetables, at the smell of others. Some vegetables I have been able to overcome. Some I can only eat raw, some only cooked. A few years ago I discovered that fresh spinach is awesome, but it took years of aversion therapy to get to that point. But to this day, cooked spinach, especially spinach from a can will send me to the bathroom with tears in my eyes faster than you can say "WTF!"

So my choice against vegetables is just as valid as your choice against meat. Mine just happens to be because of child abuse, yay, not. It's not one that gets put out there a whole lot in terms of openness.

LDay2014 · June 2014

seriously? How is this even still going on?

Replace the words 'vegan', 'vegetarian', and 'meat' with 'beer', 'wine', and 'spirits'

It's a dead argument.

Guests accept graciously what is hosted or they are considered rude.

Edited because I can't type while eating dinner...I forget words

jules3964 · June 2014

jenajjthr said:

hanckypanky said:

Simply put, my beliefs are more valid because they're.... Y'know actual fucking beliefs and not an extreme argument made for the sake of some ridiculous point that you're not serious about. You're not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Gtfo with that.

Nope, not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Just a severe psychological issue due to forcibly being fed them as a child. One that is not some ridiculous point that I'm not serious about. One that causes me to physically get sick at the sight of some vegetables, at the smell of others. Some vegetables I have been able to overcome. Some I can only eat raw, some only cooked. A few years ago I discovered that fresh spinach is awesome, but it took years of aversion therapy to get to that point. But to this day, cooked spinach, especially spinach from a can will send me to the bathroom with tears in my eyes faster than you can say "WTF!"

So my choice against vegetables is just as valid as your choice against meat. Mine just happens to be because of child abuse, yay, not. It's not one that gets put out there a whole lot in terms of openness.

I would not consider this to be a typical circumstance at all—most people can eat vegetables. I'm sorry that happened to you as a child. If you were my guest, and I knew of this issue (and you honestly could not choose one of the three entree choices), I would do my best to work with the caterer to substitute something for you but it still would not contain meat. But even in doing that, it seems like I should offer that option to all guests as well, so that makes it a lot more complicated.

Honestly though, a person shouldn't have to ask all their guests if they have an emotional response to a certain vegetable.

iloveotters2014 · June 2014

hanckypanky said:

@iloveotters2014, how did the food truck go? did it take forever? @scribe95, there's plenty of non-meat protein.

@hanckypanky

The food truck went great! They were used to doing those types of events so they had most things prepped and ready. We had picked a menu before hand so things weren't made to order like their usual food truck rally type food. They had their smoker set up to finish everything off and set up everything inside the venue. They used the truck mostly to continue cooking to bring more things out as needed.

As long as the vendor is used to working weddings it should work out just fine

hanckypanky · June 2014

jenajjthr said:

hanckypanky said:

Simply put, my beliefs are more valid because they're.... Y'know actual fucking beliefs and not an extreme argument made for the sake of some ridiculous point that you're not serious about.

You're not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Gtfo with that.

Nope, not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Just a severe psychological issue due to forcibly being fed them as a child. One that is not some ridiculous point that I'm not serious about. One that causes me to physically get sick at the sight of some vegetables, at the smell of others. Some vegetables I have been able to overcome. Some I can only eat raw, some only cooked. A few years ago I discovered that fresh spinach is awesome, but it took years of aversion therapy to get to that point. But to this day, cooked spinach, especially spinach from a can will send me to the bathroom with tears in my eyes faster than you can say "WTF!"

So my choice against vegetables is just as valid as your choice against meat. Mine just happens to be because of child abuse, yay, not. It's not one that gets put out there a whole lot in terms of openness.

considering your asinine position this whole thread, nope. Not buying it. Go troll elsewhere.

RebeccaB88 · June 2014

I can't believe this has gone on for 8 pages now either. Long way from my 'I'll just eat my necessary type of protein in the car on the way to the reception, then come inside and enjoy whatever of the vegan meal I can. No biggie.' Because that's seriously exactly what I'd do.

#jenajjthr - That's awful. I'm sorry they put you through that. Did you resist eating them as a kid because of taste or textural issues, or something else? I ask because I have borderline anxiety attacks at the idea of eating certain vegetables, because of the smell, taste, texture, or a combination of the 3. Mainly cruciferous vegetables and squash (they smell and taste like sulfur to me) and root vegetables (can only eat carrots and potatoes, others taste like bitter, medicinal dirt). The physical reaction I have if I try to take a bite is a huge hurdle to get past. So, a vegan meal would be an extra challenge for me beyond my specific protein requirements, because the choices are more limited. But hand over the veggies I like and I'll happily go to town on them...after I sneak out and eat my protein. So in a way, I kinda sorta get where you are now. Just sucks where it came from for you.

Canned spinach is an abomination and should be illegal, IMHO.

hanckypanky · June 2014

iloveotters2014 said:

hanckypanky said:

@iloveotters2014, how did the food truck go? did it take forever?

@scribe95, there's plenty of non-meat protein.

@hanckypanky

The food truck went great! They were used to doing those types of events so they had most things prepped and ready. We had picked a menu before hand so things weren't made to order like their usual food truck rally type food. They had their smoker set up to finish everything off and set up everything inside the venue. They used the truck mostly to continue cooking to bring more things out as needed.

As long as the vendor is used to working weddings it should work out just fine

Yes they said they're used to working big events, but they said they would just work it the same as they would a crowd, with everything made-to-order. I'm just s tad worried about that but they said they should be able to get so few guests through quickly

jenajjthr · June 2014

jules3964 said:

jenajjthr said:

hanckypanky said:

Simply put, my beliefs are more valid because they're.... Y'know actual fucking beliefs and not an extreme argument made for the sake of some ridiculous point that you're not serious about. You're not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Gtfo with that.

Nope, not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Just a severe psychological issue due to forcibly being fed them as a child. One that is not some ridiculous point that I'm not serious about. One that causes me to physically get sick at the sight of some vegetables, at the smell of others. Some vegetables I have been able to overcome. Some I can only eat raw, some only cooked. A few years ago I discovered that fresh spinach is awesome, but it took years of aversion therapy to get to that point. But to this day, cooked spinach, especially spinach from a can will send me to the bathroom with tears in my eyes faster than you can say "WTF!"

So my choice against vegetables is just as valid as your choice against meat. Mine just happens to be because of child abuse, yay, not. It's not one that gets put out there a whole lot in terms of openness.

I would not consider this to be a typical circumstance at all—most people can eat vegetables. I'm sorry that happened to you as a child. If you were my guest, and I knew of this issue (and you honestly could not choose one of the three entree choices), I would do my best to work with the caterer to substitute something for you but it still would not contain meat. But even in doing that, it seems like I should offer that option to all guests as well, so that makes it a lot more complicated.

Honestly though, a person shouldn't have to ask all their guests if they have an emotional response to a certain vegetable.

SITB

My vegetarian friends do know this about me, I don't hide it when they see me picking at my plate. I have worked hard to get over the worst of the issues. The canned spinach one I have resigned myself that it will never happen. Canned veggies suck anyway. No, I'm not "normal" when it comes to most omnivores (better term than meat eaters). I don't expect much when it comes to menu consideration, actually very little. I have worked really hard to open up my palate and not be so picky. But as you can see, just because my choice doesn't seem like a valid choice to some it can be discounted. It's much harder to open up to strangers.

That's the thing though to all the general "you's" out there. You don't know every little detail about all your friends. My vegetarian friends know this about me because of what they eat, but my omnivore friends don't. You may think your omnivore friends can eat the food you pick out, pick the sides they do like, or eat before or after. Or you may end up with the one friend like me, who really can't eat a lot of vegetables. Not because she just doesn't like them or is an asshat (calling names is against TOS, correct?) but because she physically CAN'T, or she can try and you can have a physical response at the table that you don't really want, one that I'm still unable to control.

jenajjthr · June 2014

RebeccaB88 said:

I can't believe this has gone on for 8 pages now either. Long way from my 'I'll just eat my necessary type of protein in the car on the way to the reception, then come inside and enjoy whatever of the vegan meal I can. No biggie.' Because that's seriously exactly what I'd do.

#jenajjthr - That's awful. I'm sorry they put you through that. Did you resist eating them as a kid because of taste or textural issues, or something else? I ask because I have borderline anxiety attacks at the idea of eating certain vegetables, because of the smell, taste, texture, or a combination of the 3. Mainly cruciferous vegetables and squash (they smell and taste like sulfur to me) and root vegetables (can only eat carrots and potatoes, others taste like bitter, medicinal dirt). The physical reaction I have if I try to take a bite is a huge hurdle to get past. So, a vegan meal would be an extra challenge for me beyond my specific protein requirements, because the choices are more limited. But hand over the veggies I like and I'll happily go to town on them...after I sneak out and eat my protein. So in a way, I kinda sorta get where you are now. Just sucks where it came from for you.

Probably a little of all 3. I know cooked carrots is texture and smell, but raw carrots are amazing. I have even tried steamed carrots by a friend who didn't overcook, still had a bit of crispness to them, but nope, straight to the bathroom. All canned veggies are a no go. I even try and fool my mind, tomatoes are a fruit, green beans are a fruit, nope, still can't. I've learned fresh and raw works the best for me, but even then I'm very, very limited. Pretty much the only cooked veggie I like is baked potatoes or mashed potatoes. Oh, I love pumpkin pie...does that count?

NYCBruin · June 2014

jenajjthr said:

jules3964 said:

jenajjthr said:

hanckypanky said:

Simply put, my beliefs are more valid because they're.... Y'know actual fucking beliefs and not an extreme argument made for the sake of some ridiculous point that you're not serious about. You're not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Gtfo with that.

Nope, not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Just a severe psychological issue due to forcibly being fed them as a child. One that is not some ridiculous point that I'm not serious about. One that causes me to physically get sick at the sight of some vegetables, at the smell of others. Some vegetables I have been able to overcome. Some I can only eat raw, some only cooked. A few years ago I discovered that fresh spinach is awesome, but it took years of aversion therapy to get to that point. But to this day, cooked spinach, especially spinach from a can will send me to the bathroom with tears in my eyes faster than you can say "WTF!"

So my choice against vegetables is just as valid as your choice against meat. Mine just happens to be because of child abuse, yay, not. It's not one that gets put out there a whole lot in terms of openness.

I would not consider this to be a typical circumstance at all—most people can eat vegetables. I'm sorry that happened to you as a child. If you were my guest, and I knew of this issue (and you honestly could not choose one of the three entree choices), I would do my best to work with the caterer to substitute something for you but it still would not contain meat. But even in doing that, it seems like I should offer that option to all guests as well, so that makes it a lot more complicated.

Honestly though, a person shouldn't have to ask all their guests if they have an emotional response to a certain vegetable.

SITB

My vegetarian friends do know this about me, I don't hide it when they see me picking at my plate. I have worked hard to get over the worst of the issues. The canned spinach one I have resigned myself that it will never happen. Canned veggies suck anyway. No, I'm not "normal" when it comes to most omnivores (better term than meat eaters). I don't expect much when it comes to menu consideration, actually very little. I have worked really hard to open up my palate and not be so picky. But as you can see, just because my choice doesn't seem like a valid choice to some it can be discounted. It's much harder to open up to strangers.

That's the thing though to all the general "you's" out there. You don't know every little detail about all your friends. My vegetarian friends know this about me because of what they eat, but my omnivore friends don't. You may think your omnivore friends can eat the food you pick out, pick the sides they do like, or eat before or after. Or you may end up with the one friend like me, who really can't eat a lot of vegetables. Not because she just doesn't like them or is an asshat (calling names is against TOS, correct?) but because she physically CAN'T, or she can try and you can have a physical response at the table that you don't really want, one that I'm still unable to control.

If you had lead with this, maybe I'd believe you. But after you made ridiculous arguments for 4 pages, it's really hard to believe this is true.

RebeccaB88 · June 2014

jenajjthr said:

Probably a little of all 3. I know cooked carrots is texture and smell, but raw carrots are amazing. I have even tried steamed carrots by a friend who didn't overcook, still had a bit of crispness to them, but nope, straight to the bathroom. All canned veggies are a no go. I even try and fool my mind, tomatoes are a fruit, green beans are a fruit, nope, still can't. I've learned fresh and raw works the best for me, but even then I'm very, very limited. Pretty much the only cooked veggie I like is baked potatoes or mashed potatoes. Oh, I love pumpkin pie...does that count?

Well, duh. Dessert ALWAYS counts. Carrot cake is a vegetable serving.

And I totally get you on the cooked carrots, even though I can do the crisp-cooked ones. And carrot (any vegetable, really) PUREE? Are they freaking CRAZY?

jenajjthr · June 2014

NYCBruin said:

jenajjthr said:

jules3964 said:

jenajjthr said:

hanckypanky said:

Simply put, my beliefs are more valid because they're.... Y'know actual fucking beliefs and not an extreme argument made for the sake of some ridiculous point that you're not serious about. You're not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Gtfo with that.

Nope, not morally or religiously opposed to eating plants. Just a severe psychological issue due to forcibly being fed them as a child. One that is not some ridiculous point that I'm not serious about. One that causes me to physically get sick at the sight of some vegetables, at the smell of others. Some vegetables I have been able to overcome. Some I can only eat raw, some only cooked. A few years ago I discovered that fresh spinach is awesome, but it took years of aversion therapy to get to that point. But to this day, cooked spinach, especially spinach from a can will send me to the bathroom with tears in my eyes faster than you can say "WTF!"

So my choice against vegetables is just as valid as your choice against meat. Mine just happens to be because of child abuse, yay, not. It's not one that gets put out there a whole lot in terms of openness.

I would not consider this to be a typical circumstance at all—most people can eat vegetables. I'm sorry that happened to you as a child. If you were my guest, and I knew of this issue (and you honestly could not choose one of the three entree choices), I would do my best to work with the caterer to substitute something for you but it still would not contain meat. But even in doing that, it seems like I should offer that option to all guests as well, so that makes it a lot more complicated.

Honestly though, a person shouldn't have to ask all their guests if they have an emotional response to a certain vegetable.

SITB

My vegetarian friends do know this about me, I don't hide it when they see me picking at my plate. I have worked hard to get over the worst of the issues. The canned spinach one I have resigned myself that it will never happen. Canned veggies suck anyway. No, I'm not "normal" when it comes to most omnivores (better term than meat eaters). I don't expect much when it comes to menu consideration, actually very little. I have worked really hard to open up my palate and not be so picky. But as you can see, just because my choice doesn't seem like a valid choice to some it can be discounted. It's much harder to open up to strangers.

That's the thing though to all the general "you's" out there. You don't know every little detail about all your friends. My vegetarian friends know this about me because of what they eat, but my omnivore friends don't. You may think your omnivore friends can eat the food you pick out, pick the sides they do like, or eat before or after. Or you may end up with the one friend like me, who really can't eat a lot of vegetables. Not because she just doesn't like them or is an asshat (calling names is against TOS, correct?) but because she physically CAN'T, or she can try and you can have a physical response at the table that you don't really want, one that I'm still unable to control.

If you had lead with this, maybe I'd believe you. But after you made ridiculous arguments for 4 pages, it's really hard to believe this is true.

Then don't believe it. I don't open up about my abuse just willy nilly. I started with mutual respect from both sides of hosting. Then went where the arguments took me. You think the arguments are ridiculous, I don't. Humans have to kill to eat, kill animals, kill plants. I don't see the logic in saying that one killing is better than the other because plants are not sentient or plants don't have nerve endings. But that is my opinion, one that vegans don't hold. Then I was told that my choice in not eating plants is not valid and to gtfo. That is when I opened up. That is when I decided to show that my choice is valid, and I have every right to expect that my choice, my lifestyle/restriction, isn't told to "suck it up" for one meal. General you, may not have to deal with a person like me ever in your real life, but we do exist.

So I'll go back to the original question...is it rude to not serve meat...no. Is it rude to ignore what your guests eat in real life and make sure your party accommodates them to the best of your ability...yes. If you know about the vegetarians/vegans/religious followers/people with allergies coming to your hosted event accommodate them. If you are a vegetarian/vegan/religious follower/person with an allergy do the same back. That doesn't mean serve meat/pork/beef/nuts...but it does mean hey I know that (example only) 75% of my guests are omnivores, let me find a non meat/pork/beef dish that is suited to them specifically, then find a really cool vegan dish or two.

iloveotters2014 · June 2014

hanckypanky said:

hanckypanky said:

@iloveotters2014, how did the food truck go? did it take forever? @scribe95, there's plenty of non-meat protein.

@hanckypanky

The food truck went great! They were used to doing those types of events so they had most things prepped and ready. We had picked a menu before hand so things weren't made to order like their usual food truck rally type food. They had their smoker set up to finish everything off and set up everything inside the venue. They used the truck mostly to continue cooking to bring more things out as needed.

As long as the vendor is used to working weddings it should work out just fine
Yes they said they're used to working big events, but they said they would just work it the same as they would a crowd, with everything made-to-order. I'm just s tad worried about that but they said they should be able to get so few guests through quickly

I would maybe see what their next big event is and go to it to see how they handle a crowd and the time it takes them to get through a lot of people. The only concern I would have is that your dinner may run super long if they are taking a ton of time to prepare certain foods. Luckily they aren't cooking meat

so some things wont take as long to cook.

P.S. - Some of these people on this thread are NUTS.

biggrouch · June 2014

@jenajjthr -- it sounds like what you have is a medical reason for not eating vegetables. Psychological trauma, physiological reactions -- various things you describe should enable you to truthfully tell someone you have a medical dietary restriction and can't eat most vegetables, without having to share your past traumas. Unless I've missed something, I don't think anyone on this thread has stated that medical restrictions can politely be ignored if the hosts know about them. (For future reference, btw, it's kinda confusing when you describe something as an abuse-related, post-traumatic sensitivity and then refer to it as "your choice, your lifestyle.") I'm impressed that you can wax so poetic on the feelings of vegetables and their ability to respond to their environment when they cause you such revulsion. But, um, if you don't see the logical distinction between killing something sentient and something non-sentient, I really hope you don't have a gun license.

larrygaga · June 2014

If I don't want to serve a vegan dish at my wedding, why should you serve a meat dish at yours?

You are totally fine.

jenajjthr · June 2014

biggrouch said:

@jenajjthr -- it sounds like what you have is a medical reason for not eating vegetables. Psychological trauma, physiological reactions -- various things you describe should enable you to truthfully tell someone you have a medical dietary restriction and can't eat most vegetables, without having to share your past traumas. Unless I've missed something, I don't think anyone on this thread has stated that medical restrictions can politely be ignored if the hosts know about them. (For future reference, btw, it's kinda confusing when you describe something as an abuse-related, post-traumatic sensitivity and then refer to it as "your choice, your lifestyle.") I'm impressed that you can wax so poetic on the feelings of vegetables and their ability to respond to their environment when they cause you such revulsion. But, um, if you don't see the logical distinction between killing something sentient and something non-sentient, I really hope you don't have a gun license.

Just because vegetables cause me revulsion and I have a black thumb (I gave up long ago trying to grow anything) doesn't mean I can't see the beauty plants and animals provide to this world. I actually don't have a gun license, abhor killing unless absolutely necessary. The catch-22 for most living creatures is that for one to survive, it has to kill, be that another plant or animal. The awesome thing about most plants is that they can take the energy from the sun, carbon dioxide from the air, water from the ground, and turn it into their own food. They are amazing living creatures. So yeah, I may sound cray-cray, but killing them is just as bad as killing animals. But I'm also a realist and know that for humans to exist we have to eat. So we pick and choose what we eat, what we are okay with "killing." If that means making one living creature "less than" so we feel better about ourselves, justify it our minds, whatever your reason may be, so be it. I don't. I go with the truth. It's all killing. One is no better or worse than the other. That obviously is not a popular opinion.

offensivekitten2 · June 2014

I have never seen so much bullshit spouted about vegetables in my life. Bravo troll, bravo. I shall upgrade you from a category 4 troll (starts well, but then gets tiresomely repetative) to a category 6 (fresh ideas, argues complete bullshit with huge balls).

By the by, I had veggies forced on me until I threw up as a child. I now think vegan dishes are fucking amazing. Could you maybe accomodate my needs and take the argument in a new more believable direction again? Thanks!

sofakingmad · June 2014

@jenajjthr

I'm sorry you went through that. I really am.

However, you are one person with one very rare issue. In your case, you probably should be eating before every single event that you go to because I can guarantee most people would never think that someone can't eat vegetables.

Or you should just decline and invite like this if it's going to be traumatic for you.

In event planning, you cannot possibly consider every single issue that every single person has. You can try to accommodate as many people as possible. That's all you can do.

And a Vegan meal will more than likely accommodate the majority of your guests.

KatieinBkln · June 2014

It's amazing to me that threads like these (and I include my own, about the gluten free craze) always START being about "hey, what should/must/can I cater at my wedding?" and inevitably end up becoming discussions about whyyyyyy is everyone judging me? But what about myyyyy weird, rare thing? I have an anecdote, therefore YOU'RE WRONG!

Really? It's a question of what to serve at an event, not a personal attack on anyone's eating choices/allergies/traumas/other shit.

Simply Fated · June 2014

larrygaga said:
If I don't want to serve a vegan dish at my wedding, why should you serve a meat dish at yours?

You are totally fine.

But isn't it rude not to have a vegan dish for a vegan at the wedding? I could be wrong. This thread is confusing.

Kauris · June 2014

lolo883 said:

I'm just baffled at all the people who don't seem to realize that vegetables contain protein. There are 7 grams of protein in one stalk of broccoli, for crying out loud. It's more protein-dense than meat. And I'm willing to bet most of ya'll aren't body builders who need excessive amounts of protein in every meal, and even if you are you will NOT, in fact, shrivel up like King Triton when he got turned into seaweed if you go one meal without 2 chicken breasts and 8 scrambled egg whites. Americans eat 50% more protein per day than we need to. You will survive.

Why @lolo883, must you bring up things that MAKE ME CRY!!??!

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

Simply Fated said:

If I don't want to serve a vegan dish at my wedding, why should you serve a meat dish at yours?

You are totally fine.
But isn't it rude not to have a vegan dish for a vegan at the wedding? I could be wrong. This thread is confusing.

Only if you know you have a vegan and you ignore it.

I have no vegans at my wedding but I do have vegetarians. I'm offering a vegetarian entree. My FG is deathly allergic to nuts so there are no nuts in the kids' meal or the cake. BM is deathly allergic to shellfish and doesn't eat pork - there are crab cake appetizers and non-crab ones; the chicken dish is stuffed with prosciutto so I went with the salmon that is topped with bruschetta instead of crab (I asked her, and she prefers salmon to chicken). And there's a line for anyone to write in whatever particular dietary restriction they have so I can accommodate anyone with whatever they felt important enough to mention.

My ethical beliefs do not require me to serve or not serve a particular type of dish. If they did, people's needs would be met WITHIN what I felt comfortable serving them.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

LOL sorry @kasmith1. Here you go.

AddieCake · June 2014

I think we should make this thread a sticky.

is it rude to not serve meat?

Re: is it rude to not serve meat?

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