Wedding Reception Forum

Charity donation in lieu of favors...

Ladeda123Ladeda123 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
edited November 2014 in Wedding Reception Forum
Hi,
I know this is often a controversial topic but I ask that you please do not respond "do not do it" or that you do not like this...it is important to my Fiance and I and our family so we have chosen to donate to a charity instead of typical favors. I ask for your help in how to properly do so. Do I mention it on the printed menus? A sign at the placecard table?  Do I provide small favors to accompany individual notes mentioning the favor?  If so, what favor would work with a donation to a children's hospital? For those who disagree about the charity donations or do not believe i should post, I understand your opinion but please do not post. I have chosen to post about the donation and would simply like ideas from those who have also chosen to do so... no judgement posts please. 

Any help would be greatly appreciated!
THanks!
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Re: Charity donation in lieu of favors...

  • I do not want the guests to believe i have done nothing..I would like to place a simple note. Please let me know where/how it can be nicely done. Please do not respond with "Do not do it." I understand if you disagree but I would like to inform them why there are no other favors present.  Thanks
  • THe knot is meant to help those who posted questions with answers TOWARDS their questions, not to judge them on their decisions. I have chosen to donate to a cause that is highly important to  90% of the wedding. I would like them to know since it would be something I KNOW they would love to be a part of. Please only respond with what information on how/where people who have previously done so have posted "in lieu" of information.

    Judgements on my decision please do not respond. Thank you. 
  • Ladeda123 said:

    I do not want the guests to believe i have done nothing..I would like to place a simple note. Please let me know where/how it can be nicely done. Please do not respond with "Do not do it." I understand if you disagree but I would like to inform them why there are no other favors present.  Thanks

    The thing is, a favor is a gift for the guest. Your donation to a charity does not benefit your guests in any way, so there is no point in telling them. I've been to plenty of weddings with no favors. It really isn't a big deal.
  • Please only respond with ideas on how to post. I appreciate your input but I have chosen to post and I would simply like ideas on how others who have done so have done it. 
  • I am not telling you how to respond but you are not answering my questions only judging my opinion to post so there is not need to respond to my discussion. I have a short period of time so I am attempting to get things done when I see that I have a new response and it is simply judging my decision instead of offering suggestions on how it is not helping. I am asking that only those with suggestions to my questions about HOW TO POST will do so. Please do not take this as any disrespect. I am simply looking for answers.

  • Ladeda123 said:

    I am not telling you how to respond but you are not answering my questions only judging my opinion to post so there is not need to respond to my discussion. I have a short period of time so I am attempting to get things done when I see that I have a new response and it is simply judging my decision instead of offering suggestions on how it is not helping. I am asking that only those with suggestions to my questions about HOW TO POST will do so. Please do not take this as any disrespect. I am simply looking for answers.


    I'm so sorry. Let me answer your questions as you requested.
    Ladeda123 said:

    Hi,

    I know this is often a controversial topic but I ask that you please do not respond "do not do it" or that you do not like this...it is important to my Fiance and I and our family so we have chosen to donate to a charity instead of typical favors. I ask for your help in how to properly do so.

    Do I mention it on the printed menus? NO

    A sign at the placecard table? NO

     Do I provide small favors to accompany individual notes mentioning the favor? small favors are fine. There is no need for a note.

     If so, what favor would work with a donation to a children's hospital? Food is always a good favor. It goes with anything.

    For those who disagree about the charity donations or do not believe i should post, I understand your opinion but please do not post. I have chosen to post about the donation and would simply like ideas from those who have also chosen to do so... no judgement posts please. 

    Any help would be greatly appreciated!
    THanks!
  • THank you @daria24. I see that you do not agree with posting but your input was helpful.

  • I've seen it done before and it has not bothered me one bit! If I'm at your wedding it's because you're my friend, and I don't typically think my friends are being 'attention grabbing' Now, I have seen small signs at the guest book table... I think, depending on you're wedding vibe, you can have a nice vase with candies and a small sign with the 'in lieu' information...you can do this fairly inexpensively.
  • THank you for your suggestions @almie425. I think I will go with a small sign at the guest book or place card table.
  • Wow. I don't understand the whole "mean girl' approach to your responses. If you do not agree with my choices, fine but why do you feel the need to be so rude and obnoxious about it?  There are 1000s of boards you could offer your opinions to that people will appreciate why choose to post rudely? Please choose to go bully someone else. Your belittling statements said over an online forum really are not necessary.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    Ladeda123 said:

    Wow. I don't understand the whole "mean girl' approach to your responses. If you do not agree with my choices, fine but why do you feel the need to be so rude and obnoxious about it?  There are 1000s of boards you could offer your opinions to that people will appreciate why choose to post rudely? Please choose to go bully someone else. Your belittling statements said over an online forum really are not necessary.

    No one " bullied" you. You asked our opinions and we provided them. You could have lurked more before posting to try to discover whether or not the subject has been posted about before (it has) and whether the majority of regular posters here approve of the idea (we don't). And if we think there's something wrong with an idea, we have every right to say so and we will. We're not going to tell you how to do it. You have no right to expect otherwise, let alone to try to control how anyone else posts.

    And if you think we're mean, you're very uninformed about just how mean the Internet can get. So do your homework before you start throwing around accusations instead of having a temper tantrum because you didn't get the validation you were looking for.
  • Ladeda123 said:

    Wow. I don't understand the whole "mean girl' approach to your responses. If you do not agree with my choices, fine but why do you feel the need to be so rude and obnoxious about it?  There are 1000s of boards you could offer your opinions to that people will appreciate why choose to post rudely? Please choose to go bully someone else. Your belittling statements said over an online forum really are not necessary.

    You should try Wedding Wire.
  • edited November 2014
    Stop saying people are being bullies. You asked a question and got an answer. You did not like said answer. You alsotold people how to post, in your original post here, which is against TOS. And hostestly, IMO if you mention that you are donating to charity in lieu of favors it seems like AH behavior, since favors are not necessary.
  • Wow, I literally do not know where to begin.  I guess I should thank you "regular posters" (as you call yourself) since reading your narrow minded posts made me want to puke over and over again #bestweddingdietever.

    Now let me attempt a constructive response (something I haven't seen much of).  My brother and his wife had a friend that passed prior to the wedding.  In lieu of favors (hold on to your hats, ladies, I'm about to blow your mind) they donated to the charity that had been created in her memory.  On the dessert table there was a small framed sign explaining what they had done.  Now mind you, I didn't do an exit interview with all of the guests but I am pretty sure people were moved by the donation.  Furthermore I can assure you that the WIDOWER who was present at the wedding was deeply touched by what they had done. 

    That's just my two cents.  Anyway I'm sure you all will have a lot to say as it seems like you have perhaps too much free time on your hands.  Perhaps you should look into using that time for something more productive...I don't know...like community service.  I work in a Children's Hospital and we are always looking for volunteers (*shines tiara).
  • I've seen this at weddings. Ive seen a note at the place card table or a small gift of chocolates/something with a placard stating something like, "To honor our commitment t o each other and to those who share this day with us we have made a donation to X in lieu of favors" on a table as guests exit.

    I like the donation idea. I'm not at a wedding to get a gift or eat a good dinner- those are bonuses. I am at a wedding to celebrate two people who love each other enough to commit to each other and to choose to invite me to share the day- no matter how well I know the bride and groom.

    How is it tacky to say, a donation has been made in lieu of favors to blah blah blah because it is important to the bride and groom? Who cares? It's only tacky if you think so little of the bride and groom to judge it. I think the poster's point was to say, I'm doing this at MY wedding, give me ideas how best to do it.

    This thread took a weird turn. Take what you like and leave the rest.

    Xo
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