I'm newly engaged and am working some stuff out with my fiance, regarding finances and family...we're getting past some stuff, which is good, but there's one thing that REALLY is bothering me
His sister is a lesbian, who is in a committed relationship. They are both very manly, and refuse to EVER wear dresses...My family will NOT like this. They are very Catholic and old school. I was hoping they could just dress nice and act natural and no one would notice, but they refuse to hide their relationship, which I get, but it's your brother's wedding for crying out loud! Future MIL is backing them 100%, and says she will NOT attend if they are not invited. My fiance wants NO issues and feels that my family shouldn't care about what his sister does. But I know they'll have a problem with it.
I'm REALLY annoyed that his sister and her woman can't suck it up and pretend for one day...It would mean alot to us and just make things run smoothly. How do I proceed?
Re: Hi, newly engaged with several issues and a question
Formerly martha1818
Your entire story is saddening and infuriating. Why would you ask someone to change themselves or hide the fact that they are in a very loving relationship...same sex or not. You should tell the rest of your Catholic family to shove it because they are family now too. This is extremely disrespectful.
Don't tell adults what to wear. Let everyone be themselves. Anyone who has problems with it... it's their problem and not yours.
Do nothing but let people be themselves.
Seriously your post is so so far out of line. There is nothing here for you to deal with. Better that your homophobic family doesn't come than your FI's sister and her partner don't. This is your family's problem. Your MIL shouldn't even be aware that you are having these thoughts (but good for her for backing up her daughter.) You should apologize to her and your FI for even bringing it up (I'm hoping you didn't actually mention it to his sister)
why on EARTH would your fi family have to suck it up and be "normal." your family is the one that has to suck it up and pretend to be a decent person for a few hours.
Okay, I will now step down from my soap box but god, this post has my blood boiling.I really hope this isn't real.
Formerly martha1818
2. If you are comfortable talk to SiL and pre-emptively apologize. Sis, I'm sorry to bring up such a sensitive issue, and I hope nothing comes up. But I think I may need to warn you. I love my Nana so I want her at my wedding, but she is prejudice and I can't guarantee that she won't say something rude to you or your partner when I'm not looking. If she does, know that is just her opinion and not mine. And feel free to let me know if she does and I will talk to her."
3. If you haven't already, perhaps don't let Nana know. Maybe Nana won't even notice.
3b. If Nana DOES know, tell her, "Nana, I love you. But this is my future sister. It is important to me that she feels welcome to my family as I do to hers. If you love me, you will not say anything to her or her partner at my wedding."
unless they are scissoring in the church you don't do a damn thing and you tell grandma to MYOB. or better yet how about you don't invite grandma?
my grandma is hardcore catholic and doesn't "agree" with alternative lifestyles. my MIL
is gay and married. my grandma didn't say a damn word.
Why is it so okay for you to completely shit all over their relationship?