Guys. The next chapter in the Jessica Saga.
In case you're not caught up:
I was waiting for her to bring up the wedding again so I could kindly make it clear to her that she is not-- under any circumstance-- invited. But the next time she brought it up we were in a room packed full of all my co-workers, and it seemed like she knew by then that she was not invited because she was trying to rally everyone to "crash" my wedding and "make a big scene." Klassy.
My work friend "Kelly" just came up to me and whispered, "Jessica is trying to get me to help her plan a surprise bachelorette party for you."
My reaction: "What the fuck? Why?"
Kelly: "Because she says if she does that, you'll be forced to invite her to your wedding. She's determined to get an invitation."
Me: "What the fuck! I wouldn't GO to any party she tries to throw."
Kelly: "She knows, that's why her plan is to ambush you and kidnap you, and force you to go."
Me: "Please tell me you're joking."
Kelly: "Nope, she keeps bugging me about it."
what the fuck
How far is this seriously gonna go? What the fucking fuck. And better question: Why is this chick SO EXTREMELY DETERMINED to get an invite? Really, she's gonna force it by kidnapping me and making me attend a party she's throwing for me? And that will get her the invitation she wants? Really? My mind is just completely blown. All I can think right now is what the fuck.