Is it rude to say no pictures??

flantastic · February 2015

sylveonplath said:

Wow, a bunch of incredibly rude people acting like nothing can be done to stop people from being rude. I'm shocked.

Taking pictures during your ceremony isn't rude. So you don't have to stop them.

climbingsingle · February 2015

This "be in the moment thing" is so ridiculous, I can't stand it. I guess you should also tie your guests' hands down, and maybe strap their heads forward. God forbid they take out a tissue to sneeze, or happen to gaze over at something besides the back of your heads! God, the fucking day would just be ruined if every single guest wasn't paying attention to your entire wedding ceremony!

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

Is this in the newsletter or something? Why the onslaught of special snowflakes all of sudden?

princessofgenovia · February 2015

Guys...I just realized...my parents weren't "truly in the moment" at any of my graduation ceremonies! There are so many pictures of me graduating that...that...they couldn't have been "truly in the moment"!!!!!!

Oh god...my birthdays too, and so much of my childhood. Guys...MY PARENTS DON'T LOVE ME!!!

climbingsingle · February 2015

princessofgenovia said:

Guys...I just realized...my parents weren't "truly in the moment" at any of my graduation ceremonies! There are so many pictures of me graduating that...that...they couldn't have been "truly in the moment"!!!!!!

Oh god...my birthdays too, and so much of my childhood. Guys...MY PARENTS DON'T LOVE ME!!!

Shit, that's a good point! I should probably re-enact all of my graduations, starting with Kindergarten.

Cookie Pusher · February 2015

Maggie0829 said:

nextyearsgirl said:

My photographer shared this article a few months back on his facebook page in favor of unplugged ceremonies.

OMG not this fucking article again!

Ok, who's going to say they feel sorry for our Hs/FIs/SOs so I can get a bingo??

duhitsd · February 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

Is this in the newsletter or something? Why the onslaught of special snowflakes all of sudden?

This thread was in the latest email sent out, that's whats bringing people here.

mikenberger · February 2015

climbingwife said:

princessofgenovia said:

Guys...I just realized...my parents weren't "truly in the moment" at any of my graduation ceremonies! There are so many pictures of me graduating that...that...they couldn't have been "truly in the moment"!!!!!!

Oh god...my birthdays too, and so much of my childhood. Guys...MY PARENTS DON'T LOVE ME!!!

Shit, that's a good point! I should probably re-enact all of my graduations, starting with Kindergarten.

Just think of how many birth re-enactments need to occur. Man, this is going to get ugly.

slothiegal · February 2015

sylveonplath said: My photographer shared this article a few months back on his facebook page in favor of unplugged ceremonies.

-----------------
As someone who used to work as a paid photographer, and who has sadly seen this article crop up more than a few times, I feel fully confident in saying that this is just a shit photographer. There's no reason for the photos to be so horrendous.

piglet87 said:

I am going to interject a different point of view. Yes I understand that photographers are professsionals but to me the no photos during the ceremony is more about the fact that pictures can be ruined.
I want my guests to be apart of the ceremony to truly be in the moment with us during the cermony and if they are taking pictures with their cameras or phones they are not truly in the moment. I know from all of my times at weddings that when I am taking pictures I'm not truly enjoying the moment and can miss out on the experience. This is the main reason why I am having a no photo ceremony and yes I realize some will be upset but I know my photographers will take amazing pictures and get better pictures because of this.
I have already shared this idea with many people involved in the wedding and the main person who has made a fuss is my mom who I DO NOT want taking pictures because I want her to be in the moment. Too often we are worried about catching the perfect picture or moment rather than living it. I want people to live through our wedding and remember it for all the moments rather than the pictures.

....you guys realize that there are other things to distract guests from "the moment", right? Aunt Jackie's fibromylagia might be acting up. Little Cousin Bobby found a ladybug in the grass that needs his attention. Uncle John just had an "OH SHIT" moment when he realized he left the stove on.

If anything, guests taking pictures are in the moment, because they're paying attention and trying to capture it.

eta boxes

littlestmonkey · February 2015

Knottie15079655 said:

I live in a small town and went to school with the photographer so not worried about not getting the photos at all and I am prepared that I might have to wait a while but she is pretty good at sharing at least one or two photos within the days following the wedding.

I have decided to not worry about it and I love the idea of blocking off the aisle but even that might not happen. If I have free time and extra materials then I might but I am not going to stress over it and make it a priority.

Please, please, please make sure you have a proper contract with this person - I was in the same situation with the woman who made our wedding cake, thinking 'everything will be easy because we all know each/went to school together/are still facebook friends' etc - she was a nightmare! Eventually I had to threaten to sue her just to bring the situation she caused to an end. And even if (s)he genuinely tries to fulfil what you have both agreed, outside forces can crop up and potentially disrupt things so it is always so much better to have a contract.

Laurennicole605 · February 2015

I guess I'm going to go against the grain here and say if you want to ask people not to take pics on their cell phones, go right ahead! I read an article recently (wish I could find it now, but I can't) written by a photographer about some things that hinder photographers from being able to get the perfect shots and ways that brides can help avoid them. One of them was guests taking photos on their cell phones (flash overexposed her shots which can't be fixed) and getting out of their seats to get the best shot (These moments go by fast. If Great Uncle Bob is standing in the way during the first kiss, you don't get a do-over). I found a really nice sign that says something along the lines of "Please turn off all mobile phones and enjoy this moment with us." I don't see how this is a rude statement??

plainjane0415 · February 2015

Laurennicole605 said:

I guess I'm going to go against the grain here and say if you want to ask people not to take pics on their cell phones, go right ahead! I read an article recently (wish I could find it now, but I can't) written by a photographer about some things that hinder photographers from being able to get the perfect shots and ways that brides can help avoid them. One of them was guests taking photos on their cell phones (flash overexposed her shots which can't be fixed) and getting out of their seats to get the best shot (These moments go by fast. If Great Uncle Bob is standing in the way during the first kiss, you don't get a do-over). I found a really nice sign that says something along the lines of "Please turn off all mobile phones and enjoy this moment with us." I don't see how this is a rude statement??

Did you read ANY of the prior comments before posting?

flantastic · February 2015

Laurennicole605 said:

I guess I'm going to go against the grain here and say if you want to ask people not to take pics on their cell phones, go right ahead! I read an article recently (wish I could find it now, but I can't) written by a photographer about some things that hinder photographers from being able to get the perfect shots and ways that brides can help avoid them. One of them was guests taking photos on their cell phones (flash overexposed her shots which can't be fixed) and getting out of their seats to get the best shot (These moments go by fast. If Great Uncle Bob is standing in the way during the first kiss, you don't get a do-over). I found a really nice sign that says something along the lines of "Please turn off all mobile phones and enjoy this moment with us." I don't see how this is a rude statement??

Re: the first bolded - Spot on, @Kahlyla.

If you would like to see how it is a rude statement, perhaps you could start by reading the thread.

Maggie0829 · February 2015

Laurennicole605 said:

I guess I'm going to go against the grain here and say if you want to ask people not to take pics on their cell phones, go right ahead! I read an article recently (wish I could find it now, but I can't) written by a photographer about some things that hinder photographers from being able to get the perfect shots and ways that brides can help avoid them. One of them was guests taking photos on their cell phones (flash overexposed her shots which can't be fixed) and getting out of their seats to get the best shot (These moments go by fast. If Great Uncle Bob is standing in the way during the first kiss, you don't get a do-over). I found a really nice sign that says something along the lines of "Please turn off all mobile phones and enjoy this moment with us." I don't see how this is a rude statement??

Because you are trying to control people. And oh my god, how hard is it to believe that people can still be "in the moment" and take pictures, comment on your dress to their friend next to them and look at all your pretty decorations all at the same time?

I don't understand this "no photography, no cameras out" trend. People have been getting married for years where their guests have pulled out their huge ass cameras to take pictures. Why all of a sudden now, when cameras are so tiny and barely noticeable (even the super nice ones) do people freak the fuck out that their guests are "staying in the moment!" Your guests are not the one's getting married, so they are not the one's that need to stay in the moment. Your wedding, to them, is just another event on their list of things to do this month. Sorry, but it is true. Your wedding is special to you because that is the day you married the person of your dreams. The wedding, to your guests, is just a fun time to celebrate a great occasion in your life. Nothing more.

So to all the bridezillas out there. Get over yourselves. You and your wedding are not that special to the rest of the world.

rubiowedding16 · February 2015

I guess I'm the strange one because I totally agree with you. I am letting my guests know that we are having an "unplugged" wedding. Photos will be permitted after the dances and cake cutting. And none during the ceremony. If my guests don't like it, then don't come. Guests should also respect the wishes of the bride and groom. I also feel that while looking at my pictures, I don't want to see iPads or iPhones or cameras taking pictures. I want my guests to be present and take in everything from the wedding as I do. I say do it.

flantastic · February 2015

rubiowedding16 said:

I guess I'm the strange one because I totally agree with you. I am letting my guests know that we are having an "unplugged" wedding. Photos will be permitted after the dances and cake cutting. And none during the ceremony. If my guests don't like it, then don't come. Guests should also respect the wishes of the bride and groom. I also feel that while looking at my pictures, I don't want to see iPads or iPhones or cameras taking pictures. I want my guests to be present and take in everything from the wedding as I do. I say do it.

It's not that you're strange, it's that you're controlling.

ETA: Guests often will respect the wishes of the bride and groom, but that doesn't give the bride and groom carte blanche to make ridiculous requests. If you want your pictures not to have a human element to them, including those humans' desire to use their own technology in order to have their own memory of your wedding, invite no humans.

Knottie77227592 · February 2015

This is hilarious. I think I've read every comment on this thread, and one response after another would indicate nothing but a thread dominated *by* bridezillas. It's your wedding; it's your money. Do what you want. Rude, not rude, whatever. There are plenty of nice ways to ask anything you want. It's your day and your dime. If they don't like it, don't let the door hit'em in the ass on the way out.

flantastic · February 2015

Knottie77227592 said:

This is hilarious. I think I've read every comment on this thread, and one response after another would indicate nothing but a thread dominated *by* bridezillas. It's your wedding; it's your money. Do what you want. Rude, not rude, whatever. There are plenty of nice ways to ask anything you want. It's your day and your dime. If they don't like it, don't let the door hit'em in the ass on the way out.

Oh yes, this here is the attitude of a hospitable and caring bride.

A nice way to ask a rude thing is an oxymoron.

princessofgenovia · February 2015

I'm really getting concerned about the lack of reading comprehension skills.

flantastic · February 2015

I don't understand why people who have such clear disdain for their guests feel the need to invite them.

Knottie77227592 · February 2015

Are there any happy ladies here? How sad.

kittenkaboodle · February 2015

At my sister's wedding the photographer actually asked the minister to request no photography. Turns out one of their favorite photos was by the groom's godfather, it's now framed on their mantle.

flantastic · February 2015

Knottie77227592 said:

Are there any happy ladies here? How sad.

None at all. It is very sad indeed. We know that the "It's my day, fuck everyone else" attitude is proven to foster great personal happiness and healthy relationships with family and friends, but reason will just not prevail upon us.

Cookie Pusher · February 2015

kittenkaboodle said:

At my sister's wedding the photographer actually asked the minister to request no photography. Turns out one of their favorite photos was by the groom's godfather, it's now framed on their mantle.

One of my favorite photos from my wedding was taken by a guest as well - my FIL kissing the top of my head after I served him tea during the tea ceremony. The photographer got it from a different angle, but my friend's picture was absolutely perfect.

kao2015 · February 2015

I'm mostly going to ignore the notion that your guests are going to ruin your pro pictures. PPs have that covered. Except, I'd also like to add that people get up and move around for non-photo related reasons, like using the restroom. Are you going to chain everyone to their seats in your quest for the PERFECT photos?

What I really don't understand, though, is why people think their wedding is the appropriate time to teach their friends and family good manners. EVEN IF taking photos during the ceremony were rude (which I don't think it is), is is not your place to tell grown ass adults how to act. If their taking pictures is noticeably disruptive, they look bad--not you. I'm not going to walk around and remind people that it's impolite to put their elbows on the table. Because that would make me rude as fuck.

And all the "fully present" shit is just ridiculous. How self-centered can you be? These people are spending the better part of a day--or more if travel is involved--to be at an event entirely focused on you and your FI/husband/wife--is that not enough attention for you?

LtPowers · February 2015

To be fair, it can be very difficult for a professional photographer to get certain shots if half a dozen guests all pop out into the aisle to grab a photo of a particular moment in the ceremony. It's rude, of course, but it still happens.

Unfortunately, as noted, there's not much to be done about it. Perhaps an advance reminder to someone known as a repeat offender, but even that's skirting the line. A blanket admonition is right out.

Powers &8^]

huskypuppy14 · February 2015

Wait until Saturday guys, it's going to get worse.

*Going back to chit chat*

kittybo · February 2015

No its not rude. Just be mindful how you ask. There are more polite ways. In fact I've seen photography blogs wlon this subject and they would rather guests not take photos...wouldnt you rather walk down the aisle to smiling faces then cell phones taking pictures?

tarabreannearbonneic · February 2015

I've been to 2 weddings in the last few years where the officiant actually made a point of telling everyone to refrain from taking pictures during the ceremony. They would say that the bride and groom have professional photographers there, and the reason was to ensure they are able to get as many beautiful shots as possible, instead of spending time trying to dodge people. But they did have specific moments when the group was invited to move around to take pictures. I remember one was when they were signing the papers.

So that's an option, ask that people stay seeated until the officiant invites them to move around and take pictures for a few minutes at different times. You get to let people move around, but not throughout.

plainjane0415 · February 2015

kittybo said:

No its not rude. Just be mindful how you ask. There are more polite ways. In fact I've seen photography blogs wlon this subject and they would rather guests not take photos...wouldnt you rather walk down the aisle to smiling faces then cell phones taking pictures?

Another one bites the dust. Why do people not read pp?!

Is it rude to say no pictures??

Re: Is it rude to say no pictures??

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