Facebook overshare snark

jelly1313 · February 2015

Haha a girl on my Facebook just did before and after photos of her amazing new weight lose. Posted a status about how she usually doesn't do before and after pics but she is just so proud of herself...well in the before pic she has a tattoo on her rib cage, she must have lost a ton of weight because in her after photo that tat is completely gone even though "she" is posing even more to that side so ideally we should be able to see more of it

charcoalandblush · February 2015

I follow a local wedding consignment shop on Facebook (I've bought a lot of my decor there). They accept user submitted questions and post a few a day. Most are totally harmless (like "Does anyone know of a rustic venue with outdoor space in RandomSuburbtown?" or "I inherited my MIL's dress, what is a creative way I can incorporate it into my wedding attire without just re-wearing it?") but some are HORRIFYING!

"We're having cupcakes at the wedding. I want to avoid running short and having guests take several to sample the various flavors (as I have witnessed at another wedding). What is a way to inform the guests to only take one?" Most suggestions were along the lines of this one: "Assign someone in your family to monitor/pass out cupcakes. That's what my soon to be sister-in-law did at her wedding" Really? So you want one of your loved ones to be the cupcake police? What are they supposed to do/say if someone comes up to the cupcake table more than once?

"In your experience, what is an appropriate way to ask for money instead of gifts?" Stop. There isn't one.

"Does anyone have advice about what to do when no one is offering to host a bridal shower? We are not well off so gifts are needed but I don't want to appear greedy." An alarming number of people responded telling her to throw herself a shower.

"If the wedding is only for immediate family, who would be invited to the wedding/bridal showers?" Only immediate family, obviously.

They're usually just annoying, but some are MASSIVE over-shares about wedding drama/their families.

"What are some ways to deal with a bridesmaid that has not been present in the planning process and now is concerned about the bride losing weight? Ideas on ways to mend this?"

"How do you deal with a controlling and quietly manipulative mother-in-law who keeps inviting extended family to your wedding? And your fiance is a "mommas boy"?"

princessgracekelly · February 2015

charcoalandblush said:

I follow a local wedding consignment shop on Facebook (I've bought a lot of my decor there). They accept user submitted questions and post a few a day. Most are totally harmless (like "Does anyone know of a rustic venue with outdoor space in RandomSuburbtown?" or "I inherited my MIL's dress, what is a creative way I can incorporate it into my wedding attire without just re-wearing it?") but some are HORRIFYING!

"We're having cupcakes at the wedding. I want to avoid running short and having guests take several to sample the various flavors (as I have witnessed at another wedding). What is a way to inform the guests to only take one?" Most suggestions were along the lines of this one: "Assign someone in your family to monitor/pass out cupcakes. That's what my soon to be sister-in-law did at her wedding" Really? So you want one of your loved ones to be the cupcake police? What are they supposed to do/say if someone comes up to the cupcake table more than once?

"In your experience, what is an appropriate way to ask for money instead of gifts?" Stop. There isn't one.

"Does anyone have advice about what to do when no one is offering to host a bridal shower? We are not well off so gifts are needed but I don't want to appear greedy." An alarming number of people responded telling her to throw herself a shower.

"If the wedding is only for immediate family, who would be invited to the wedding/bridal showers?" Only immediate family, obviously.

They're usually just annoying, but some are MASSIVE over-shares about wedding drama/their families.

"What are some ways to deal with a bridesmaid that has not been present in the planning process and now is concerned about the bride losing weight? Ideas on ways to mend this?"

"How do you deal with a controlling and quietly manipulative mother-in-law who keeps inviting extended family to your wedding? And your fiance is a "mommas boy"?"

"Gifts are needed." Well, I guess now we know why no one has offered to throw her a shower . . .

Knottie13257900 · February 2015

I'm actually hesitating to share wedding pictures on FB because I'm afraid i'll hurt the feelings of people who weren't invited. Anyone feel this way? I suppose if I ONLY post a pic of me and the groom, then there can't possibly be any hurt feelings...unless the wedding guests post pics of themselves, which is definitely possible.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

Some more treasures from the Facebook page I follow:

"Does anyone have recommendations for what to do when one of your bridesmaids gets engaged and decides to ignore and withdraw from your wedding? She planned her wedding very close to mine as well. Do I let her go or do I find a way to work with her?" One response (that now has 8 "likes"): "I would just let her go and find someone else because the people in your wedding are supposed to be there for you and care and she obviously doesn't"

"What are your thoughts on having an open ceremony around 2pm and then around 7pm an appetizer-only reception?"

nessiemmmkay · February 2015

kinney0515 said:
Oh one more vent... is it only my Facebook... or is suddenly EVERYONE losing weight and not just losing weight- but then becoming "consultants" or "mentors" for whatever "diet/program" they used? My feed is filled with "Hard to believe a year ago I had no energy- and this year I'm a new happier me I never believed I could be! Join me on this journey!!!!" It's sickening. My Facebook is filled with statuses that are really advertisements for selling oils, makeup/nail stuff, and diet products.

This....Ugh so sick of people getting involved in these things and being invited to their "parties". No I dont want your crap you're trying to sell just for sone free food. Then having to see statuses about how this was the best decision ever to sell such and such product, constantly talking about when I used my and it turns into a cheap plug. Sorry, but if most of these products were so good, you could buy them in the store and not only from a "consultant".

mikenberger · February 2015

My #1 oversharer has gotten the brightest of ideas:

Let's give away stuffed replicas of her pet as wedding favors. And she's getting encouragement. No no no.

KatWAG · February 2015

My friends just started having babies and I knew it was only a matter time.

I just saw my first "Little Susie did a poopie in the big girl potty!!!!!" Picture included. It took every ounce of will power I had not to post some snarky comment.

ohannabelle · February 2015

KatWAG said:

My friends just started having babies and I knew it was only a matter time.

I just saw my first "Little Susie did a poopie in the big girl potty!!!!!" Picture included. It took every ounce of will power I had not to post some snarky comment.

I have actually unfriended someone over this exact thing.

AuroraRose41 · February 2015

KatWAG said:

My friends just started having babies and I knew it was only a matter time.

I just saw my first "Little Susie did a poopie in the big girl potty!!!!!" Picture included. It took every ounce of will power I had not to post some snarky comment.

My FI: "Facebook is not for poop."

AuroraRose41 · February 2015

On a completed different note, one of my sorority sisters just posted about her wedding. It was a long winded status about how her and her FI just realized that they aren't rich and therefore cannot invite everyone that they would like to, and that anyone who really loves them will understand. This status got a lot of comments about how the people who matter will understand and even one about how "there's always the B list!".

thisismynickname2 · February 2015

AuroraRose41 said:

On a completed different note, one of my sorority sisters just posted about her wedding. It was a long winded status about how her and her FI just realized that they aren't rich and therefore cannot invite everyone that they would like to, and that anyone who really loves them will understand. This status got a lot of comments about how the people who matter will understand and even one about how "there's always the B list!".

You know what's weird... part of it is "who" the message is coming from.

Shortly out of college, one of my sorority sisters did the same thing. She is among the sweetest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Somehow, when she wrote the message that she couldn't accommodate everyone, I believed it. I wasn't close enough to her to be invited so I had no skin in the game anyway, but, it was a nice note.

Now, I also know some women who can be pretty bitchy, self-centered, etc. If one of them had written the exact same note, I would have read it in a different light. KWIM?

NoneForUs · February 2015

ohannabelle said:

KatWAG said:

My friends just started having babies and I knew it was only a matter time.

I just saw my first "Little Susie did a poopie in the big girl potty!!!!!" Picture included. It took every ounce of will power I had not to post some snarky comment.

I have actually unfriended someone over this exact thing.

I'm not a parent so maybe I don't understand pride in poops.

I don't think a child taking a shit is something to brag about on social media.

Defecation is not an achievement.

Dreamergirl8812 · February 2015

I had to stop following a former co-worker after like the 4th time she posted about how sore her nipples were from breastfeeding.

floridabride44 · February 2015

This gem just popped up on my news feed from someone I went to college with:

"Just a reminder to all of our attending Wedding Guests that the cutoff date to book a room at our reception venue is this Friday, February 13th! After this date, you will not receive the room discount! Cannot wait to celebrate with everyone next month!"

But even better, in the comments, someone asks "Unplugged wedding?" and her response was "YES! We are making sure it is 100% UNPLUGGED! We are so excited!!"

bethsmiles · February 2015

hsgator said:

This gem just popped up on my news feed from someone I went to college with:

"Just a reminder to all of our attending Wedding Guests that the cutoff date to book a room at our reception venue is this Friday, February 13th! After this date, you will not receive the room discount! Cannot wait to celebrate with everyone next month!"

But even better, in the comments, someone asks "Unplugged wedding?" and her response was "YES! We are making sure it is 100% UNPLUGGED! We are so excited!!"

The word "unplugged" makes me simultaneously gag and roll my eyes.

AuroraRose41 · February 2015

thisismynickname said:

AuroraRose41 said:

On a completed different note, one of my sorority sisters just posted about her wedding. It was a long winded status about how her and her FI just realized that they aren't rich and therefore cannot invite everyone that they would like to, and that anyone who really loves them will understand. This status got a lot of comments about how the people who matter will understand and even one about how "there's always the B list!".

You know what's weird... part of it is "who" the message is coming from.
Shortly out of college, one of my sorority sisters did the same thing. She is among the sweetest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Somehow, when she wrote the message that she couldn't accommodate everyone, I believed it. I wasn't close enough to her to be invited so I had no skin in the game anyway, but, it was a nice note.
Now, I also know some women who can be pretty bitchy, self-centered, etc. If one of them had written the exact same note, I would have read it in a different light. KWIM?

I am also not extremely close with her, so I didn't expect to be invited. She was also very sweet and we always got along, but she graduated right after I pledged, so we never had a chance to get close.

I still felt that it was something that should stay off of Facebook, even if it is heartfelt. It also rubbed me the wrong way as I know that they have been engaged for at least a year now and are getting close to the wedding date and have also made other less offensive statuses about wedding planning for the past year, so it's not like they just decided on a date/venue/etc. It seemed more like a status apologizing for not inviting people who may have received STD's or verbal invites.

princessgracekelly · February 2015

bethsmiles said:

hsgator said:

This gem just popped up on my news feed from someone I went to college with:

"Just a reminder to all of our attending Wedding Guests that the cutoff date to book a room at our reception venue is this Friday, February 13th! After this date, you will not receive the room discount! Cannot wait to celebrate with everyone next month!"

But even better, in the comments, someone asks "Unplugged wedding?" and her response was "YES! We are making sure it is 100% UNPLUGGED! We are so excited!!"

The word "unplugged" makes me simultaneously gag and roll my eyes.

"100% unplugged" said the bride through the "100% unplugged" medium of Facebook . . . I guess her carrier pigeon was sick that day.

lvshelleyjm · February 2015

You guys know that there's a button that stops displaying their posts on your newsfeed, right? If you really are annoyed, why don't you just do that or unfriend them?

levioosa · February 2015

lvshelleyjm said:

You guys know that there's a button that stops displaying their posts on your newsfeed, right? If you really are annoyed, why don't you just do that or unfriend them?

You're on the snark board, dear. If you can't handle the snark, you're in the wrong place.

NoneForUs · February 2015

Dreamergirl8812 said:

I had to stop following a former co-worker after like the 4th time she posted about how sore her nipples were from breastfeeding.

I see your sore nipple overshare and I raise you a new mom posting about squirting milk from her boobs into her sister's coffee. Nice huh?

This woman also loved to post about making cheese out of her breast milk.

speakeasy14 · February 2015

NoneForUs said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

I had to stop following a former co-worker after like the 4th time she posted about how sore her nipples were from breastfeeding.

I see your sore nipple overshare and I raise you a new mom posting about squirting milk from her boobs into her sister's coffee. Nice huh?

This woman also loved to post about making cheese out of her breast milk.

Chipmunk415 · February 2015

Dunno if this quite qualifies...

As many ladies on the chit chat board know, BIL dropped dead suddenly 1 month after DH and I got married last year. Ever since, SMIL has constantly posted photos of BIL, with messages about how much he's missed, how hard things are for her and FIL, etc.

Now that wouldn't seem like overshare, but the postings are coming twice a day at times. same rhetoric, complete emphasis on HER pain, HER agony, HER loss.

Her entire attitude is one akin to BIL being the only child, instead of having an older brother, and it's gotten to the point of looking less "we're grieveing" and more "pay attention to meeeee". Absolutely no mention of DH, FIL, or BIL's fiancee (who found him at home).

It's less than two months until the 1st anniversary of losing BIL. I expect she'll post a massive amount on Facebook on the days leading up, drumming up the sympathy.

antoto · February 2015

Chipmunk415 said:

Dunno if this quite qualifies...

As many ladies on the chit chat board know, BIL dropped dead suddenly 1 month after DH and I got married last year. Ever since, SMIL has constantly posted photos of BIL, with messages about how much he's missed, how hard things are for her and FIL, etc.

Now that wouldn't seem like overshare, but the postings are coming twice a day at times. same rhetoric, complete emphasis on HER pain, HER agony, HER loss.

Her entire attitude is one akin to BIL being the only child, instead of having an older brother, and it's gotten to the point of looking less "we're grieveing" and more "pay attention to meeeee". Absolutely no mention of DH, FIL, or BIL's fiancee (who found him at home).

It's less than two months until the 1st anniversary of losing BIL. I expect she'll post a massive amount on Facebook on the days leading up, drumming up the sympathy.

Yeesh, I dunno. That is horrendous- I can't imagine what the hell I would do if it were me who lost my spouse young and suddenly. Probably not that specifically, but something sort of crazy probably. That level of grief is scary. I fucking love snark, but I would pause on that shit.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

antoto said:

Chipmunk415 said:

Dunno if this quite qualifies...

As many ladies on the chit chat board know, BIL dropped dead suddenly 1 month after DH and I got married last year. Ever since, SMIL has constantly posted photos of BIL, with messages about how much he's missed, how hard things are for her and FIL, etc.

Now that wouldn't seem like overshare, but the postings are coming twice a day at times. same rhetoric, complete emphasis on HER pain, HER agony, HER loss.

Her entire attitude is one akin to BIL being the only child, instead of having an older brother, and it's gotten to the point of looking less "we're grieveing" and more "pay attention to meeeee". Absolutely no mention of DH, FIL, or BIL's fiancee (who found him at home).

It's less than two months until the 1st anniversary of losing BIL. I expect she'll post a massive amount on Facebook on the days leading up, drumming up the sympathy.

Yeesh, I dunno. That is horrendous- I can't imagine what the hell I would do if it were me who lost my spouse young and suddenly. Probably not that specifically, but something sort of crazy probably. That level of grief is scary. I fucking love snark, but I would pause on that shit.

I might be reading this wrong, but I thought the facebook poster lost her step-son, not her spouse.

mikenberger · February 2015

hsgator said:
This gem just popped up on my news feed from someone I went to college with:

"Just a reminder to all of our attending Wedding Guests that the cutoff date to book a room at our reception venue is this Friday, February 13th! After this date, you will not receive the room discount! Cannot wait to celebrate with everyone next month!"

But even better, in the comments, someone asks "Unplugged wedding?" and her response was "YES! We are making sure it is 100% UNPLUGGED! We are so excited!!"

"We are making sure it is 100% unplugged!!" ....how? HOW!?!

lovesclimbing · February 2015

bethsmiles said:

hsgator said:

This gem just popped up on my news feed from someone I went to college with:

"Just a reminder to all of our attending Wedding Guests that the cutoff date to book a room at our reception venue is this Friday, February 13th! After this date, you will not receive the room discount! Cannot wait to celebrate with everyone next month!"

But even better, in the comments, someone asks "Unplugged wedding?" and her response was "YES! We are making sure it is 100% UNPLUGGED! We are so excited!!"

The word "unplugged" makes me simultaneously gag and roll my eyes.

Certainly, I will comply with your unplugged wedding request. After charging my phone/camera, I will be very careful to make sure I unplug my phone from the charger so I'm not risking people tripping over the cord, and voila! I am complying with your request for an unplugged wedding!

princessgracekelly · February 2015

mikenberger said:

This gem just popped up on my news feed from someone I went to college with:

"Just a reminder to all of our attending Wedding Guests that the cutoff date to book a room at our reception venue is this Friday, February 13th! After this date, you will not receive the room discount! Cannot wait to celebrate with everyone next month!"

But even better, in the comments, someone asks "Unplugged wedding?" and her response was "YES! We are making sure it is 100% UNPLUGGED! We are so excited!!"

"We are making sure it is 100% unplugged!!" ....how? HOW!?!

The Unplugged Police will make you surrender your devices at the door and put them in plastic trays like the TSA does.

ohannabelle · February 2015

antoto said:

Chipmunk415 said:

Dunno if this quite qualifies...

As many ladies on the chit chat board know, BIL dropped dead suddenly 1 month after DH and I got married last year. Ever since, SMIL has constantly posted photos of BIL, with messages about how much he's missed, how hard things are for her and FIL, etc.

Now that wouldn't seem like overshare, but the postings are coming twice a day at times. same rhetoric, complete emphasis on HER pain, HER agony, HER loss.

Her entire attitude is one akin to BIL being the only child, instead of having an older brother, and it's gotten to the point of looking less "we're grieveing" and more "pay attention to meeeee". Absolutely no mention of DH, FIL, or BIL's fiancee (who found him at home).

It's less than two months until the 1st anniversary of losing BIL. I expect she'll post a massive amount on Facebook on the days leading up, drumming up the sympathy.

Yeesh, I dunno. That is horrendous- I can't imagine what the hell I would do if it were me who lost my spouse young and suddenly. Probably not that specifically, but something sort of crazy probably. That level of grief is scary. I fucking love snark, but I would pause on that shit.

This is entirely normal behavior for someone in the first year of grief. It's also normal for the surviving children (even adult ones) to feel lost and neglected by the grieving parent/stepparent.

Different people express loss in different ways, and the outward and public display of grief is not unusual at all.

I have two friends who are doing this right now. A couple whose 22 year old was killed in a hit and run, and a friend whose husband was killed in an accident 2 weeks before Christmas. I fully expect it to continue for a full year, and to ease off after the anniversary.

I don't judge this, and don't see it as "drumming up sympathy." (Yikes. I still post a picture of my son every year on his birthday, just because I feel the need to say, this person existed, and mattered, and will always be part of my life. I really hope my friends don't think I'm doing it for sympathy or attention. I'm glad there wasn't a Facebook that first couple of years, because I probably would have gone waaaay overboard.)

Maybe refer stepmom to Compassionate Friends. They have a closed Facebook group, as well as real life chapters everywhere. She can share her grief posts and what have you in an understanding and safe environment dedicated to that purpose, without bothering people who judge that behavior.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/41019955773/?ref=ts&fref=ts

madamerwin · February 2015

mikenberger said: This gem just popped up on my news feed from someone I went to college with:
"Just a reminder to all of our attending Wedding Guests that the cutoff date to book a room at our reception venue is this Friday, February 13th! After this date, you will not receive the room discount! Cannot wait to celebrate with everyone next month!"
But even better, in the comments, someone asks "Unplugged wedding?" and her response was "YES! We are making sure it is 100% UNPLUGGED! We are so excited!!"

"We are making sure it is 100% unplugged!!" ....how? HOW!?!

------ Edited for boxes--------

Maybe they will give one of their loved ones the "honor" of standing at the back of the ceremony with a cute poem on a chalkboard sign and a bag in which to deposit electronic devices. And then during the ceremony, if they see anyone with a phone or camera, they can run up and snatch it out of the guest's hands. Because their family loves them and would be honored to be a part of the ceremony, and their guests will totally understand!

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