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pinkcow13 · February 2015

sarahufl said:

ashley8918 said:

mrsk616 said:

i think the only arguement we had over laundry was what detergent we were going to use. (im use to gain and love it, he buys other brands) or and what new washer and dryer we were going to get.

but if FI pulled some shit like that he can do his own laundry, after a few tries if he doesnt know how to do laundry he will beg you do his again. a lot of men i know cant do their own laundry (my dad is one of them) my FI on the other hand knows how to do his laundry but doesn't read tags which is annoying.

STOP FUCKING SAYING SHIT LIKE THIS, OH MY GOD.

The ability to do laundry is NOT dependent on one's sex organs. His penis does not inhibit his motor function or brain function in a way that physically prevents him from being able to do laundry. His penis does not get in the way.

There is no such thing as a man who CANT do his only laundry, unless he is physically or mentally disabled in a particular way.

I fucking hate these stupid gender stereotypes. STOP.

hahaha, THANK YOU.

Yes, H prefers to not do his laundry. It is a chore he hates. If I offer to do it for him, he jumps all over that.

But he has a Master's Degree in Computer Science. I assure you, he is capable.

Word. FI is the one that does all the laundry for us, and I don't. I don't buy the excuse that "Men can't do laundry." It's really not that hard. Throw clothes in washer, throw some soap in there, hit start. Take clothes out, shove in dryer, hit start. Maybe top it off with some softener or dryer sheets. Trust me, when you start ruining your clothes, man or woman, you will learn. It's just a cop out when men say they "can't do laundry."

I'll admit, I'm the messy one, and I'm totally the one that leaves stuff on the floor or the bed. I get SO annoyed when FI washes my jeans that I just wanted to try on, but never wore out and thus never got dirty, into the washer. I know enough to keep my big mouth shut, because he will totally make me do my own laundry if I start bitching and moaning.

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

I get the very strong impression that you just don't like your H very much. This isn't about laundry or temper tantrums. Anytime you start a thought with "this week's episode of pissy pants behavior," that's a BEC and not a partner.

thisismynickname2 · February 2015

Holy crap, two pages of laundry talk.

I loathe doing laundry with a fiery passion, but I am even more weirded out by having the man I love touch my period panties. So, I do mine, he does his. He's even a better folder than I am, and tends to dry clean a lot more of his stuff whereas I prefer to hand wash.

Should a day come where it's more advantageous for me to do my husband's laundry, well, I'd have to change my ways then. I suppose I'm going to have to do a child's laundry until they're tall enough to push the buttons and do it themselves. (That's exactly what my parents did to me- as soon as I could reach the buttons, I was doing my own laundry. 8 years old maybe?)

Honestly, I wouldn't have even married a man who "couldn't" do his own laundry. We have roughly the same practices of using hampers and hanging semi-clean stuff on hooks, so it's working out alright.

climbingsingle · February 2015

I met my husband when he was 39. He had never been married. So yeah, he just must have been wearing dirty clothes all these years. Men don't know how to do laundry, you guys! JEEZ.

ashley8918 · February 2015

OP, It seems like you really just kind of... don't like your husband. From his "pissy pants behavior" to his lack of interest/insensitivity towards your fertility issues, his "childish laziness", forgetting your birthday etc. You never seem to have anything nice to say. Your relationship isn't really my business, but it doesn't seem like a very happy one at all.

ashley8918 · February 2015

climbingwife said:

I met my husband when he was 39. He had never been married. So yeah, he just must have been wearing dirty clothes all these years. Men don't know how to do laundry, you guys! JEEZ.

Good thing he never tried. His penis would have gotten stuck in the lint trap! I mean... that's why men CANT do laundry, right?

APDSS22 · February 2015

Lol my dad's not allowed to do laundry. Apparently he turned all the clothes pink when I was little and shrunk the crap out of mom's slacks so mom forbade him from doing laundry. In the last few years she has relented on letting him do the towels. But he still is forbidden from doing the clothes.

DH and I developed a system. If it doesn't make it into the hamper before he leaves for work on my day off, it will not be washed. He will wash his hunting clothes (special scent less detergent) and anything he needs washed on any day other than my day off.

lyndausvi · February 2015

My DH knows HOW to do laundry. He just refuses to learn how to do laundry properly.

Brand new black socks thrown in with brand new white shirts. Yep, we now have gray shirts. He throws the most random things in the washer. Then over-loads it. Then forgets to move it over to the dryer. Oh and if it's in the dryer, yeah those things are taken out one at a time as DH needs that article of clothing.

GRRRRR

I could let him to his own, but I hate the waste of doing half loads. It actually causes me anxiety.

It's just easier for me to do the laundry to keep my stress levels down.

When I come home from being away it's funny to see how excited he gets that he did laundry on his own. Sure I side-eye the "OMG, look what I did, can I get my gold star now" look. At the same time it's cute he wants to help out

That all said, that his him just not caring, not anything to do with his gender.

AddieCake · February 2015

ashley8918 said:

OP, It seems like you really just kind of... don't like your husband. From his "pissy pants behavior" to his lack of interest/insensitivity towards your fertility issues, his "childish laziness", forgetting your birthday etc. You never seem to have anything nice to say. Your relationship isn't really my business, but it doesn't seem like a very happy one at all.

See, now all of this history changes my opinion of him.

teddygirl9 · February 2015

Oh gosh haha. We have a 3 bdrm house and its just us 2, so one room is my 'dressing room'. There are clothes everywhere, it's terrible. We each usually do our own laundry. Sometimes I will be like 'hey im going to do laundry, leave your clothes by the door (laundry room) if you want them done', or if I don't have enough whites to do a full load I will grab his towels and stuff. Most of clothes are work clothes that are suits/dressy and dry clean only, so he doesn't usually have too much laying around. i'm way worse hehe

novella1186 · February 2015

This gender crap is weird to me. My FI is awesome at doing laundry. He knows not to dry my bras, he knows which of my clothes I only wash on the delicate cycle, and he remembers which sweaters I don't dry because they could shrink. He's better at folding than me, and even pairs my socks and rolls them together whereas I just wad them up and toss them all into a drawer (so usually the socks I'm wearing don't match because I don't want to go searching for a match and... they're just socks.)

I'm way better at cleaning the bathroom. FI is way better at sweeping and vacuuming. I'm better at organizing. FI is better with details (like spotless stove burners). We typically divide and conquer. None of this has anything to do with gender.

My dad has never in his life done laundry. In college he sent it away in the mail to a laundry service. When my mom goes on vacation without him, his dirty clothes pile up into a mountain till she gets home. This is because he's lazy and entitled, not because he "can't" do it.

cupcait927 · February 2015

lyndausvi said:

My DH knows HOW to do laundry. He just refuses to learn how to do laundry properly.

Brand new black socks thrown in with brand new white shirts. Yep, we now have gray shirts. He throws the most random things in the washer. Then over-loads it. Then forgets to move it over to the dryer. Oh and if it's in the dryer, yeah those things are taken out one at a time as DH needs that article of clothing.

GRRRRR

I could let him to his own, but I hate the waste of doing half loads. It actually causes me anxiety.

It's just easier for me to do the laundry to keep my stress levels down.

When I come home from being away it's funny to see how excited he gets that he did laundry on his own. Sure I side-eye the "OMG, look what I did, can I get my gold star now" look. At the same time it's cute he wants to help out

That all said, that his him just not caring, not anything to do with his gender.

The bolded is how I feel. H knows perfectly well how to do laundry, and actually has certain criteria for how certain clothes are washed (which is fine), but if we both did our own it would waste a ton of water and energy in half-full loads of laundry. Plus I absolutely LOVE doing laundry so I take care of it.

That being said, we have a discussion about once week about the clothes not making it into the hamper. I end up washing a handful of clean clothes every time because I don't know what's dirty or clean. I bought a laundry sorter with four different bags and he's making an effort to remember what goes in what bag but it's a learning process. He's pretty good though when I ask him to gather up anything that's dirty and put it in his laundry basket.

luckya23 · February 2015

teddygirl9 said:

Oh gosh haha. We have a 3 bdrm house and its just us 2, so one room is my 'dressing room'. There are clothes everywhere, it's terrible. We each usually do our own laundry. Sometimes I will be like 'hey im going to do laundry, leave your clothes by the door (laundry room) if you want them done', or if I don't have enough whites to do a full load I will grab his towels and stuff. Most of clothes are work clothes that are suits/dressy and dry clean only, so he doesn't usually have too much laying around. i'm way worse hehe

I have a dressing room too!! It makes the bedroom so much more peaceful!

levioosa · February 2015

I think the whole "men can't do laundry" debate is ridiculous. SO does most of our laundry and he's not the one that fucks it up, it's our shitty washer. The only thing he's had trouble learning is spotting hand wash only clothes (which women tend to own more of). I think like 99% of his clothes are okay to be thrown in the wash. He even throws his dress shirts in the wash (not that I'd recommend that, but he doesn't seem to care and they're not my clothes). Solution? I have a separate hamper for things that are handwash/dry clean/repair only, and he doesn't touch them. That way whoever does the laundry has no right to get upset about things that shouldn't be in there in the first place. And I'm perfectly confident that he would be able to learn how to handwash clothes properly in two seconds if I felt like showing him. But they're my clothes, so it's my problem.

paperpusher · February 2015

I'm finding this all funny. I did a couple loads of laundry Monday night and ended up going to bed early before taking care of them. H has Monday Tuesday off and when I walked in last night and saw dishes all over the counter, clean dishes in the dishwasher, mud tracks through the kitchen, and those 3 goddamn baskets of clean laundry sitting right where I left them (maybe an inch or two moved so he could access the Playstation) I started to fume.
I had to remind myself "you don't like the way he does it anyways. He takes care of your clothes wrong, you never know what you're going to find when you open the cupboard doors and he's taken care of the clean dishes, you don't like the way he loads the dishwasher, he never washes all the dishes and I don't even know if he knows where the mop is." I had to calm myself down and decided I would handle it today after work.
Well when I woke up this morning the floor was cleaned up, his laundry had been taken care of, he had even made an attempt at folding the towels and he texted me when he woke saying he will do the dishes tonight when he gets home from work and to leave them alone.
Call me crazy, but it was a nice surprise.

teddygirl9 · February 2015

luckya23 said:

teddygirl9 said:

Oh gosh haha. We have a 3 bdrm house and its just us 2, so one room is my 'dressing room'. There are clothes everywhere, it's terrible. We each usually do our own laundry. Sometimes I will be like 'hey im going to do laundry, leave your clothes by the door (laundry room) if you want them done', or if I don't have enough whites to do a full load I will grab his towels and stuff. Most of clothes are work clothes that are suits/dressy and dry clean only, so he doesn't usually have too much laying around. i'm way worse hehe

I have a dressing room too!! It makes the bedroom so much more peaceful!

It does! We have a walk-in closet, but it's not very big, so that's the 'man closet'. Our room isnt very big either, so we just have one dresser that is also all his stuff. My favourite part is keeping all my makeup in the other room, so its not all over the bathroom sink.

sarahufl · February 2015

teddygirl9 said:

luckya23 said:

teddygirl9 said:

Oh gosh haha. We have a 3 bdrm house and its just us 2, so one room is my 'dressing room'. There are clothes everywhere, it's terrible. We each usually do our own laundry. Sometimes I will be like 'hey im going to do laundry, leave your clothes by the door (laundry room) if you want them done', or if I don't have enough whites to do a full load I will grab his towels and stuff. Most of clothes are work clothes that are suits/dressy and dry clean only, so he doesn't usually have too much laying around. i'm way worse hehe

I have a dressing room too!! It makes the bedroom so much more peaceful!

It does! We have a walk-in closet, but it's not very big, so that's the 'man closet'. Our room isnt very big either, so we just have one dresser that is also all his stuff. My favourite part is keeping all my makeup in the other room, so its not all over the bathroom sink.

We just bought a new house and it has a dressing room! But it is legit a dressing room, not an empty bedroom. It is off the master bedroom and has closets in it. I can't wait to move in

ashley8918 · February 2015

sarahufl said:

teddygirl9 said:

luckya23 said:

teddygirl9 said:

Oh gosh haha. We have a 3 bdrm house and its just us 2, so one room is my 'dressing room'. There are clothes everywhere, it's terrible. We each usually do our own laundry. Sometimes I will be like 'hey im going to do laundry, leave your clothes by the door (laundry room) if you want them done', or if I don't have enough whites to do a full load I will grab his towels and stuff. Most of clothes are work clothes that are suits/dressy and dry clean only, so he doesn't usually have too much laying around. i'm way worse hehe

I have a dressing room too!! It makes the bedroom so much more peaceful!

It does! We have a walk-in closet, but it's not very big, so that's the 'man closet'. Our room isnt very big either, so we just have one dresser that is also all his stuff. My favourite part is keeping all my makeup in the other room, so its not all over the bathroom sink.

We just bought a new house and it has a dressing room! But it is legit a dressing room, not an empty bedroom. It is off the master bedroom and has closets in it. I can't wait to move in

YOU FUCKING LUCKY BITCH. Let's trade houses, kthx.

climbingsingle · February 2015

We're making our extra bedroom a dressing room. I can't freaking wait.

Also, my H had to show me how to use his washer and dryer when I moved in. I had never used a front loading fancy one before.

ashley8918 · February 2015

climbingwife said:

We're making our extra bedroom a dressing room. I can't freaking wait.

Also, my H had to show me how to use his washer and dryer when I moved in. I had never used a front loading fancy one before.

Well, then you are obviosuly actually a man.

sarahufl · February 2015

ashley8918 said:

sarahufl said:

teddygirl9 said:

luckya23 said:

teddygirl9 said:

Oh gosh haha. We have a 3 bdrm house and its just us 2, so one room is my 'dressing room'. There are clothes everywhere, it's terrible. We each usually do our own laundry. Sometimes I will be like 'hey im going to do laundry, leave your clothes by the door (laundry room) if you want them done', or if I don't have enough whites to do a full load I will grab his towels and stuff. Most of clothes are work clothes that are suits/dressy and dry clean only, so he doesn't usually have too much laying around. i'm way worse hehe

I have a dressing room too!! It makes the bedroom so much more peaceful!

It does! We have a walk-in closet, but it's not very big, so that's the 'man closet'. Our room isnt very big either, so we just have one dresser that is also all his stuff. My favourite part is keeping all my makeup in the other room, so its not all over the bathroom sink.

We just bought a new house and it has a dressing room! But it is legit a dressing room, not an empty bedroom. It is off the master bedroom and has closets in it. I can't wait to move in

YOU FUCKING LUCKY BITCH. Let's trade houses, kthx.

We are moving to a county full of quirky old homes. I love it.

teddygirl9 · February 2015

sarahufl said:

teddygirl9 said:

luckya23 said:

teddygirl9 said:

Oh gosh haha. We have a 3 bdrm house and its just us 2, so one room is my 'dressing room'. There are clothes everywhere, it's terrible. We each usually do our own laundry. Sometimes I will be like 'hey im going to do laundry, leave your clothes by the door (laundry room) if you want them done', or if I don't have enough whites to do a full load I will grab his towels and stuff. Most of clothes are work clothes that are suits/dressy and dry clean only, so he doesn't usually have too much laying around. i'm way worse hehe

I have a dressing room too!! It makes the bedroom so much more peaceful!

It does! We have a walk-in closet, but it's not very big, so that's the 'man closet'. Our room isnt very big either, so we just have one dresser that is also all his stuff. My favourite part is keeping all my makeup in the other room, so its not all over the bathroom sink.

We just bought a new house and it has a dressing room! But it is legit a dressing room, not an empty bedroom. It is off the master bedroom and has closets in it. I can't wait to move in

That sounds soo nice! I see those on tv haha. One of my friends reno'ed her house to have something like that, it was great.

princessleia22 · February 2015

novella1186 said:

This gender crap is weird to me. My FI is awesome at doing laundry. He knows not to dry my bras, he knows which of my clothes I only wash on the delicate cycle, and he remembers which sweaters I don't dry because they could shrink. He's better at folding than me, and even pairs my socks and rolls them together whereas I just wad them up and toss them all into a drawer (so usually the socks I'm wearing don't match because I don't want to go searching for a match and... they're just socks.)

I'm way better at cleaning the bathroom. FI is way better at sweeping and vacuuming. I'm better at organizing. FI is better with details (like spotless stove burners). We typically divide and conquer. None of this has anything to do with gender.

My dad has never in his life done laundry. In college he sent it away in the mail to a laundry service. When my mom goes on vacation without him, his dirty clothes pile up into a mountain till she gets home. This is because he's lazy and entitled, not because he "can't" do it.

This is how we are too. DH and I are very compatible when it comes to preferred chores. DH can do laundry just fine. Actually, he's probably more observant and thorough than I am at reading tags and sorting laundry. But, he hates doing it and I don't mind it so much, so I do all the laundry. He hates cleaning bathrooms, and I don't mind it too much, so I do the bathrooms. Vacuuming kills my back, so he does all the floor cleaning. And I absolutely hate doing dishes, but he doesn't mind it, so he is in charge of cleaning the kitchen. Then we both work together at other household chores. When doing a major cleaning, we usually start at either end of the house, each picking up and dusting until we meet in the middle. Then we split off to clean the kitchen, bathrooms, laundry, etc. It's pretty efficient and neither of us gets stuck doing chores we hate.

CMGragain · February 2015

Before I was married, I was in several relationships. The first one was truly abusive, and it took me a long time to get out. The subsequent ones were with men who could not, or would not, commit.

I am married to a man who has loved me for 38+ years. Together we have had two children, raised and educated them, retired and moved across the country. We have been there for each other when times were bad. We have been angry with each other over many things, but we have always talked it out.

...... so he doesn't do the fucking laundry. Should I divorce him?

lyndausvi · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Before I was married, I was in several relationships. The first one was truly abusive, and it took me a long time to get out. The subsequent ones were with men who could not, or would not, commit.

I am married to a man who has loved me for 38+ years. Together we have had two children, raised and educated them, retired and moved across the country. We have been there for each other when times were bad. We have been angry with each other over many things, but we have always talked it out.

...... so he doesn't do the fucking laundry. Should I divorce him?

Of course.

On the divorce application, next to the adultery box is the "doesn't do the laundry" box. Duh

KatieinBkln · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Before I was married, I was in several relationships. The first one was truly abusive, and it took me a long time to get out. The subsequent ones were with men who could not, or would not, commit.

I am married to a man who has loved me for 38+ years. Together we have had two children, raised and educated them, retired and moved across the country. We have been there for each other when times were bad. We have been angry with each other over many things, but we have always talked it out.

...... so he doesn't do the fucking laundry. Should I divorce him?

Um, no?

What started this kerfluffle was someone's assertion that "some men can't do laundry." Not "never learned how." Not "often don't end up doing that particular chore." CAN'T. Which is obvious bullshit.

The fact that some men don't, and this works fine in their relationships, is completely irrelevant.

paperpusher · February 2015

KatieinBkln said:

CMGragain said:

Before I was married, I was in several relationships. The first one was truly abusive, and it took me a long time to get out. The subsequent ones were with men who could not, or would not, commit.

I am married to a man who has loved me for 38+ years. Together we have had two children, raised and educated them, retired and moved across the country. We have been there for each other when times were bad. We have been angry with each other over many things, but we have always talked it out.

...... so he doesn't do the fucking laundry. Should I divorce him?

Um, no?

What started this kerfluffle was someone's assertion that "some men can't do laundry." Not "never learned how." Not "often don't end up doing that particular chore." CAN'T. Which is obvious bullshit.

The fact that some men don't, and this works fine in their relationships, is completely irrelevant.

---------
I think she was being facetious.

KatieinBkln · February 2015

paperpusher said:

CMGragain said:

Before I was married, I was in several relationships. The first one was truly abusive, and it took me a long time to get out. The subsequent ones were with men who could not, or would not, commit.

I am married to a man who has loved me for 38+ years. Together we have had two children, raised and educated them, retired and moved across the country. We have been there for each other when times were bad. We have been angry with each other over many things, but we have always talked it out.

...... so he doesn't do the fucking laundry. Should I divorce him?

Um, no?

What started this kerfluffle was someone's assertion that "some men can't do laundry." Not "never learned how." Not "often don't end up doing that particular chore." CAN'T. Which is obvious bullshit.

The fact that some men don't, and this works fine in their relationships, is completely irrelevant.
--------- I think she was being facetious.

Gah, jokes are so hard sometimes.

Sorry, CMG!

redwoodoriginal · February 2015

In college I has to teach one of my sorority sisters how to do laundry bc she had never done it before and had been using a send out service her freshman year. Guess she was really a dude? Smdh.

cupcait927 · February 2015

redwoodoriginal said:

In college I has to teach one of my sorority sisters how to do laundry bc she had never done it before and had been using a send out service her freshman year. Guess she was really a dude? Smdh.

My roommate freshman year of college had to teach me how to do laundry. Apparently I was a dude before college.

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