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Chit Chat
climbingsingle
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What would you have done?
climbingsingle
member
in Chit Chat
My 93 year old grandma broke her hip yesterday, and the circumstances surrounding it have me furious. I'm so angry I could barely sleep last night.
So, she went to the grocery store yesterday. It had snowed Sunday into Monday, so the parking was probably somewhat snow and ice covered. Why she even went out is beyond me - she didn't need food and she told my mother she was staying home. But that's neither here nor there.
Right when she was done loading her groceries, she fell hard. A woman saw her fall, and came over. My grandma told the woman and another man that she was fine. Even though her fucking hip was broken and she couldn't even STAND.
These people loaded my grandma into her car. They didn't call an ambulance. Just hoisted her into her car and sent her on her way. My grandma drove home (about 2 miles) and put her gar in her garage. She then crawled backwards up her stairs. With a broken hip. She couldn't get back up once she got inside, and she forgot that she was wearing her Life Alert. My mom was calling and calling, and she knew something was wrong. So she called my grandma's neighbor and he found her on the floor. He then called an ambulance.
My grandma is the toughest lady ever. I think it's the Italian blood ;-) But when she told the doctors her pain was a 10, it fucking killed me. To think of her in that much for so long has me sick to my stomach.
So, please tell me. If you saw an older woman fall very hard in a parking lot, would you have called an aumbulance? Or would you have picked her up off the ground and put her in her car? Because that's fucking INSANE to me.
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Re: What would you have done?
I'm sorry that happened to your grandmother.
If it was me I would have taken her myself and I'll tell you why. My Mom and I are both teachers. We've always had amazing insurance. When I saw a girl in a bar bathroom that CLEARLY had alcohol poisoning I asked the bartender to call an ambulance. Other bartenders, random customers, bouncers were VERY hesitant in case the girl "didn't have insurance". Certain ambulance rides can cost more than 2k if you don't have insurance- like a friend of mine without insurance who was basically forced into an ambulance for a sprained ankle. Not saying these people did the right thing though.
I feel your pain and I'm glad your grandma is okay now.
Would I send her on her merry way? In that circumstance, absolutely not. But if she's telling me she's fine, I can't really force an ambulance onto her if she is telling me she doesn't need or want one. I'd probably ask her to call someone she knows to come get her, because she's more likely to be honest with them, and wait with her until that person arrived.
The other alternative is these people leaving your grandmother in the snow. They probably did the best thing they could think of, based on your grandmother's statements. You know?
I'm the fuck out.
Your grandma sounds like mine- tough and stubborn. Sometimes, dealing with tough and stubborn old ladies (as an outsider) is really challenging. I would have probably offered to call an ambulance, and if refused, at the very least would've offered to call a family member and sat with her until said family member arrived.
Sometimes, you can't reason with people like her (and I mean this in a loving way, not a "she is crazy!" way)- my dad is the same way. He would rather anything than taking help from strangers in a parking lot (it is worth noting that my dad has bone cancer and has somewhat brittle hips) and he would've done precisely what your grandma did.
I think, as the bystander, you have to realize they are probably in pain and embarrassed and a bit flustered. I would respect their wishes as much as I felt was safe for them but I would not have let your grandma drive home after falling like that. I would have either driven her home from the store myself, or taken her to a hospital if there was nobody else to help her.
I hope she recovers well!
Formerly martha1818
Sometimes the shock of the fall can mask the pain. In hindsight, knowing that your grandmother's pain was a 10, I am sure they would've called an ambulance. But 1) You are getting the story that she can't walk from how your grandma was one when she reached home. Its totally possible that they helped her up and she seemed much steadier on her feet because she was a little in shock. So no, if I saw an elderly woman fall, but she didn't hit her head, was coherent, told me not to call an ambulance, and was insistant about getting back into her car, I can't say that I would call one for her against her will, and I don't think it makes them idiots. Honestly, they tried to help. You have no idea if they offered other solutions and your grandmother didn't want them (especially because you mention that she is stubborn.) I think that you are letting your emotions cloud your judgment of these people- if they are the type to drop what they are doing and go help a fallen woman, I don't think they are the type to shove her in the driver seat and say on your way now.
I will be thinking of your grandmother though, hoping for a speedy recovery!
I'm with Maggie on this. Most likely the people who saw your grandma fall thought it would be better for her to be up and sitting in a warm car than on the ground in the cold. If grandma kept insisting she was fine, I would have tended to believe her as well.
I think larry has a good point that older people tend to not want to accept help because that tells other people that they are getting too old to do everything themselves. No one wants to lose their independance.