That is my opinion. Feel free to look up the word opinion in a dictionary.
My opinion is that all Mexican people are lazy. It's not racist, it's just my opinion.
*note I do not actually think that all Mexican people are lazy. I'm making a point. Again I don't actually think this. I'm not a shitty person. Please don't yell at me*
Then I saw your note on the bottom and was like "phew"
Aw hell, Wifey is half Mexican and between the two of us...I'm the lazy ass one.
But she DID get stuck under the bed. Just the lazy Mexican half though. Her hardworking Irish side was free. And drunk.
That reminds me of a friend of mine who is also Irish/Mexican and she said once "Yep, I build something, get drunk, get angry, then fall asleep". And I was like, me too! Except the building something.
Oh, LORD JESUS. This is the lint trap penis situation all over again.Because, you know, men CAN'T do laundry. Their penis will get stuck in the lint trap and the world will will end, right?
What exactly is it about their genitals that makes men "more needy". Is it their testicles? I hear testicles are pretty needy.
STOP FUCKING GENDER STEREOTYPING.
And here is the thing about opinions: Your right to have them doesn't make them not really fucked up and gross. Like the opinion that proximity to poor people makes an area a bad neighborhood. Or the opinion that black people are generally thieves. Or the opinion that gay people are somehow lesser humans.
I think it is the testicles. Having that vulnerable body part just makes them inherently needy.
But seriously, how to men ride bikes without squishing their balls? I can't seem to figure that out and it's been bothering me.
I feel like in general balls on the outside wasn't a good choice, you know? I mean they are super vunerable.
Oh, LORD JESUS. This is the lint trap penis situation all over again.Because, you know, men CAN'T do laundry. Their penis will get stuck in the lint trap and the world will will end, right?
What exactly is it about their genitals that makes men "more needy". Is it their testicles? I hear testicles are pretty needy.
STOP FUCKING GENDER STEREOTYPING.
And here is the thing about opinions: Your right to have them doesn't make them not really fucked up and gross. Like the opinion that proximity to poor people makes an area a bad neighborhood. Or the opinion that black people are generally thieves. Or the opinion that gay people are somehow lesser humans.
I think it is the testicles. Having that vulnerable body part just makes them inherently needy.
But seriously, how to men ride bikes without squishing their balls? I can't seem to figure that out and it's been bothering me.
I feel like in general balls on the outside wasn't a good choice, you know? I mean they are super vunerable.
There's actually a reason for that! Sperm are sensitive to temperature. Balls being on the outside keeps them cooler.
Oh, LORD JESUS. This is the lint trap penis situation all over again.Because, you know, men CAN'T do laundry. Their penis will get stuck in the lint trap and the world will will end, right?
What exactly is it about their genitals that makes men "more needy". Is it their testicles? I hear testicles are pretty needy.
STOP FUCKING GENDER STEREOTYPING.
And here is the thing about opinions: Your right to have them doesn't make them not really fucked up and gross. Like the opinion that proximity to poor people makes an area a bad neighborhood. Or the opinion that black people are generally thieves. Or the opinion that gay people are somehow lesser humans.
I think it is the testicles. Having that vulnerable body part just makes them inherently needy.
But seriously, how to men ride bikes without squishing their balls? I can't seem to figure that out and it's been bothering me.
I feel like in general balls on the outside wasn't a good choice, you know? I mean they are super vunerable.
There's actually a reason for that! Sperm are sensitive to temperature. Balls being on the outside keeps them cooler.
But why haven't sperms evolved enough to handle hotter temperatures so the balls can stay inside?
Oh, LORD JESUS. This is the lint trap penis situation all over again.Because, you know, men CAN'T do laundry. Their penis will get stuck in the lint trap and the world will will end, right?
What exactly is it about their genitals that makes men "more needy". Is it their testicles? I hear testicles are pretty needy.
STOP FUCKING GENDER STEREOTYPING.
And here is the thing about opinions: Your right to have them doesn't make them not really fucked up and gross. Like the opinion that proximity to poor people makes an area a bad neighborhood. Or the opinion that black people are generally thieves. Or the opinion that gay people are somehow lesser humans.
I think it is the testicles. Having that vulnerable body part just makes them inherently needy.
But seriously, how to men ride bikes without squishing their balls? I can't seem to figure that out and it's been bothering me.
I feel like in general balls on the outside wasn't a good choice, you know? I mean they are super vunerable.
There's actually a reason for that! Sperm are sensitive to temperature. Balls being on the outside keeps them cooler.
But why haven't sperms evolved enough to handle hotter temperatures so the balls can stay inside?
Because you can't make a man change?
OP, this applies to you too. You can't make your FI change. He should want to put in the effort and make you feel just as loved as you try to make him feel. You need to, at the very least, have a serious discussion with him about how you are feeling.
ETA: Not trying to stereotype...you can't make anyone change, period. Just, you know, context.
By the way, I notice that you have two previous posts from 2014 titled "Mother not happy about engagement" and "Not excited about engagement". This has sooooo much badness written all over it!
OP, come back and get some inspiration from all the cool Knotties (not me) so you can get what you deserve in life and be happy! Or at least join the conversation about dicks and balls on bicycle seats, because a good cringe-worthy laugh is good for everyone in every situation.
Oh, LORD JESUS. This is the lint trap penis situation all over again.Because, you know, men CAN'T do laundry. Their penis will get stuck in the lint trap and the world will will end, right?
What exactly is it about their genitals that makes men "more needy". Is it their testicles? I hear testicles are pretty needy.
STOP FUCKING GENDER STEREOTYPING.
And here is the thing about opinions: Your right to have them doesn't make them not really fucked up and gross. Like the opinion that proximity to poor people makes an area a bad neighborhood. Or the opinion that black people are generally thieves. Or the opinion that gay people are somehow lesser humans.
I think it is the testicles. Having that vulnerable body part just makes them inherently needy.
But seriously, how to men ride bikes without squishing their balls? I can't seem to figure that out and it's been bothering me.
I feel like in general balls on the outside wasn't a good choice, you know? I mean they are super vunerable.
There's actually a reason for that! Sperm are sensitive to temperature. Balls being on the outside keeps them cooler.
But why haven't sperms evolved enough to handle hotter temperatures so the balls can stay inside?
Staying cold in the balls keeps them sort of sleepy. The warmth of a vagina wakes them up and makes them swim faster!
All the white lace and romance aside, it's a damned serious contract.
(Not just a business type contract, though it's that, too, because you legally become a single social and financial unit with communal property and debt and financial responsibility.)
But it's also an emotional contract, where you agree to love and support and care for another person. All that stuff said during the vows. To love and cherish and respect, for richer and poorer till death, and all that. You form a partnership with the intention of making life a better, happier, and more fulfilling experience for each other. You agree to make each other your number one priority, for life.
You're talking about signing a lifetime contract with somebody who's not willing to meet the conditions of the contract. You're asking for love, care, respect, and support during trying times. Your contract specifies that both parties do this.
He wants a contract where only one party complies. Not him.
Would you sign a business contract where you agreed to do all the work, and the partner does nothing, but expects all the return and benefits? You'd be a fool to sign.
That's exactly what you're looking at. It's a losing contract. If you sign, you're robbing yourself of the opportunity to have the experience of genuine love and respect.
Fire him. Find an adult that understands what an adult relationship is. A marriage only works when both parties give 100%.
Oh, LORD JESUS. This is the lint trap penis situation all over again.Because, you know, men CAN'T do laundry. Their penis will get stuck in the lint trap and the world will will end, right?
What exactly is it about their genitals that makes men "more needy". Is it their testicles? I hear testicles are pretty needy.
STOP FUCKING GENDER STEREOTYPING.
And here is the thing about opinions: Your right to have them doesn't make them not really fucked up and gross. Like the opinion that proximity to poor people makes an area a bad neighborhood. Or the opinion that black people are generally thieves. Or the opinion that gay people are somehow lesser humans.
I think it is the testicles. Having that vulnerable body part just makes them inherently needy.
But seriously, how to men ride bikes without squishing their balls? I can't seem to figure that out and it's been bothering me.
I feel like in general balls on the outside wasn't a good choice, you know? I mean they are super vunerable.
There's actually a reason for that! Sperm are sensitive to temperature. Balls being on the outside keeps them cooler.
But why haven't sperms evolved enough to handle hotter temperatures so the balls can stay inside?
Staying cold in the balls keeps them sort of sleepy. The warmth of a vagina wakes them up and makes them swim faster!
Scientifically, I know it makes sense. Just seems like poor planning. Aesthetically and otherwise.
OP, I don't like the way this sounds. I too have had issues with my FI acting a little spoiled and taking his crankiness out on me when I had nothing to do with it. But I talked to him. I told him straight up that wasn't fair and it needed to stop. And it did. Now we make efforts to spoil each other and meet each other's needs. When he's cranky, he doesn't take it out on me, instead he acknowledges my efforts to make him feel better and shows me his appreciation.
I'm telling you this because if you don't think your FI would react in a similar way to your expressing your concern, that should raise a lot of red flags. My relationship isn't perfect, and neither are we as individuals, but we've found ways to work through our problems like adults. You shouldn't have to spend your time worrying about when he's going to grow up.
Why in the name of all that is divine and glittery are you with, let alone even considering marrying a needy douchebag who will never admit when he is wrong.
I know we were talking about gender-ists and racism, but guys, I can't be racist.
I have a black president.
FI sent me a picture of a truck he saw today that had an anti-Obama sticker and one that said, "Nuts to Diversity. Celebrate America." I think that guy starts a lot of sentences with, "I'm not a racist, but..."
I know we were talking about gender-ists and racism, but guys, I can't be racist.
I have a black president.
FI sent me a picture of a truck he saw today that had an anti-Obama sticker and one that said, "Nuts to Diversity. Celebrate America." I think that guy starts a lot of sentences with, "I'm not a racist, but..."
I will never get over the irony of a white person bitching about foreigners in America. I cannot.
Jack White said it best (in Icky Thump); "Why don't you kick yourself out, you're an immigrant too."
Oh, LORD JESUS. This is the lint trap penis situation all over again.Because, you know, men CAN'T do laundry. Their penis will get stuck in the lint trap and the world will will end, right?
What exactly is it about their genitals that makes men "more needy". Is it their testicles? I hear testicles are pretty needy.
STOP FUCKING GENDER STEREOTYPING.
And here is the thing about opinions: Your right to have them doesn't make them not really fucked up and gross. Like the opinion that proximity to poor people makes an area a bad neighborhood. Or the opinion that black people are generally thieves. Or the opinion that gay people are somehow lesser humans.
I think it is the testicles. Having that vulnerable body part just makes them inherently needy.
But seriously, how to men ride bikes without squishing their balls? I can't seem to figure that out and it's been bothering me.
I feel like in general balls on the outside wasn't a good choice, you know? I mean they are super vunerable.
There's actually a reason for that! Sperm are sensitive to temperature. Balls being on the outside keeps them cooler.
I know this is scientifically the reason they are on the outside, but I can't think of a single time that FI's balls felt cooler than the rest of his body.
I know we were talking about gender-ists and racism, but guys, I can't be racist.
I have a black president.
FI sent me a picture of a truck he saw today that had an anti-Obama sticker and one that said, "Nuts to Diversity. Celebrate America." I think that guy starts a lot of sentences with, "I'm not a racist, but..."
I will never get over the irony of a white person bitching about foreigners in America. I cannot.
Jack White said it best (in Icky Thump); "Why don't you kick yourself out, you're an immigrant too."
Yep. Pilgrims were the first boat people. There went the neighborhood.
OP, I'm sorry you're hurting. Please know that you deserve a wholehearted love, and a love that sets its own interests aside for you. Not all the time, but certainly a good chunk of the time.
I am anti-bean counting, but I do think that when there's a noticeable discrepancy in the amount of love given vs. received, or the ratio of selfishness to selflessness, there is a problem. Because while all couples find their own happy equilibrium, the moment one partner notices the lack is the moment it's no longer a happy partnership. Being with someone isn't always easy, but it's not supposed to be hard all the time (what was your number? 110% of the time?).
You deserve to be spoiled. Your future husband deserves to be spoiled. Is the man you are with deserving of being that future husband?
Re: gender stereotypes: I think there's some fascinating things to be said about how our culture tends to infantilize men and teaches them to expect women to care for them, both physically and emotionally, and the ways that is harmful to everyone. But I don't think that's quite what was going on upthread.
Sounds like you need to take a serious look at your relationship with your FI and is this behavior something you are willing to accept for the rest of your life. Don't count on it changing. If he's needy now, what is he going to be like down the road if you have a child together and he has to share you? My advice is to continue not to plan the wedding but to really take a look at his behavior and day to day actions. No making excuses for him. Just because you have a bad relationship with your mother, doesn't mean you shouldn't get help from him and get positive attention from him. Yes, it can be embarassing to call off an engagement, but better to do that then end up divorced.
Sounds like you need to take a serious look at your relationship with your FI and is this behavior something you are willing to accept for the rest of your life. Don't count on it changing. If he's needy now, what is he going to be like down the road if you have a child together and he has to share you? My advice is to continue not to plan the wedding but to really take a look at his behavior and day to day actions. No making excuses for him. Just because you have a bad relationship with your mother, doesn't mean you shouldn't get help from him and get positive attention from him. Yes, it can be embarassing to call off an engagement, but better to do that then end up divorced.
To the bolded-- I have a shit relationship with my dad and sister (meaning pretty much non-existent or we're at each other's throats). This has no bearing on the way FI treats me. He never claims I'm asking too much to compensate for the lack of love from my own family. And never for 1 second do I feel like I'm not loved, appreciated, or spoiled by him.
He has needy moments, but so do I. It's not a one-sided thing.
Family relationships have nothing to do with your relationship with your significant other. If you feel like you need more from him, it's not your mom's fault and it's not due to the type of relationship you have with your mom. That's his issue. That's his shortcoming. You need more from HIM, not anyone else. His blaming it on your mom is kind of awful.
I shit you not, I just got home from work and what do I find? DH researching a new bicycle seat. He must've sensed all the 'bike seat ball dilemma' talk oozing from TK land today.
I think it is the testicles. Having that vulnerable body part just makes them inherently needy.
But seriously, how to men ride bikes without squishing their balls? I can't seem to figure that out and it's been bothering me.
I have asked DH this in the past. Actually, I've asked him a lot about his balls and penis and where they go when he does certain things. I also don't understand how they don't get in the way all the time, swinging around all free down there.
Re: Needy Fiance
Because you can't make a man change?
OP, this applies to you too. You can't make your FI change. He should want to put in the effort and make you feel just as loved as you try to make him feel. You need to, at the very least, have a serious discussion with him about how you are feeling.
ETA: Not trying to stereotype...you can't make anyone change, period. Just, you know, context.
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By the way, I notice that you have two previous posts from 2014 titled "Mother not happy about engagement" and "Not excited about engagement". This has sooooo much badness written all over it!
OP, come back and get some inspiration from all the cool Knotties (not me) so you can get what you deserve in life and be happy! Or at least join the conversation about dicks and balls on bicycle seats, because a good cringe-worthy laugh is good for everyone in every situation.