strippers and bachelor parties

doeydo · April 2015

Not cool with me.

huskypuppy14 · April 2015

I don't care at all. I've probably gotten more lap dances than my husband. It's not really his scene anyway, but he'll go for a bachelor party or if a friend wants to go after a sporting event or something.

My husband doesn't watch porn either, it doesn't do it for him.

I had an ex that would go to the strip club regularly, still didn't care, but he ended up cheating on me (not with a stripper). Like a pp said, if your SO is going to cheat, he will cheat. Going or not going to a strip club won't change that.

themosthappy91 · April 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

themosthappy91 said:
So strip clubs are basically the same deal but on a smaller scale. I love the art of the dancing, the embrace of sexuality, all that junk- I just hate to think any of those girls are potentially being put into a situation that is ultimately hurtful, degrading, or manipulative of them. Wondering about strippers as actual people kind of takes me out of the moment and I'm unable to enjoy it.

That being said, I know my husband feels probably more uncomfortable than I do one these counts and therefore has no interest. If he did, it's not a hill I'd die on but I would try to dissuade him from going to some degree.

And just to clarify- I DEFINITELY do not think there is anything intrinsically bad or degrading about stripping or appearing in porn, and I know of many women who thoroughly enjoy being employed in those fields. Just saying that there's a good deal of potential for abuse to occur.
There is also the potential for abuses to occur in many other occupations. Do you vet all of the manufacturers from whom you purchase products? Sweat shops exist not just abroad in places like China and Pakistan, but also in many places in the US. Many of the employees at such factories are here illegally - sometimes they or their families pay tens of thousands of dollars for transport here - and they are slaves to the owners to "pay off" their debt.

Why is it that the sex industry is the only one where people are so seriously concerned about the workers? Don't you worry about the illegal immigrant who is picking and packing your produce? The one sewing your super cute new yoga outfit? How about housekeepers and nannies?

I'm in the camp of Couldn't Care Less. So long as it doesn't interfere with our personal time and he doesn't blow our budget, anyway. But see, those aren't just stripclub issues. Replace clubbing with fishing and I'd feel the same way.

To be honest, though I obviously don't vet everything, my husband and I are very conscious of where we get most of our goods from- especially clothes, personal hygiene products (make-up etc) and food. It's harder for big ticket items like furniture because there are less options and less information available, but we really do try to make all the purchases we can in a way that is responsible towards the wellbeing of others.

buttercup1958 · April 2015

I guess I'm an outlier! I wouldn't feel very comfortable with V going to strip clubs. I feel like seeing someone naked is a very personal intimate experience. V feels the same way so it works in our relationship. Neither of us watch porn, we don't get anything from it.These are my feelings though.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

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bride2b71614 · April 2015

@chibiyui, I am 100% sure that FI isn't a pimp or a crack dealer. The company he works for has many international clients, and FI's boss encourages them to take out the clients to "show them a good time." A good time can range from a fancy dinner, to concerts, baseball/football/hockey games, and even sometimes, the strip club.

They aren't actually talking about accounts/investment opportunities, rather they are just chilling out and building rapport while they're in town. The business along with the perks keep them coming back for more. Although could you imagine a full on business meeting talking about revenue reports or what have you in a strip club, with flip charts and everything? I would love to see that.

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

I don't think I'd care. I've never been, and Fi's not really into them, so it's maybe a moot point, but I like to think I'd be able to "let" him go if he told me he was going, for lack of a better term. If I found out through the grapevine that he HAD gone it would be a different story.

Re: porn: I know FI watches it. It does nothing good for me, and I'd go so far as to say that, generally, watching it only makes me feel shittier about myself naked than I normally do, so I don't watch it. If it got to a point where it affected our sex life, I'd ask him to stop, but it doesn't so I'm fine with it.

chibiyui · April 2015

bride2b71614 said:
@chibiyui, I am 100% sure that FI isn't a pimp or a crack dealer. The company he works for has many international clients, and FI's boss encourages them to take out the clients to "show them a good time." A good time can range from a fancy dinner, to concerts, baseball/football/hockey games, and even sometimes, the strip club.

They aren't actually talking about accounts/investment opportunities, rather they are just chilling out and building rapport while they're in town. The business along with the perks keep them coming back for more. Although could you imagine a full on business meeting talking about revenue reports or what have you in a strip club, with flip charts and everything? I would love to see that.

Ha ha.

Yeah, I didn't really think there was spreadsheets at these meetings, I still just find it a bit odd. Like, oh, this important dude is in town, take that boss to the titty bar, bosses love tittys.

I mean, it's just such a sexist hold over. And I saw that as one who has gone to a strip club with business associates.

VulgarGirl · April 2015

We're both former strippers. Neither of us cares if the other goes to a strip joint. I'm pretty sure she's not gonna grab a dancer and fuck her right then and there. Not without calling me to come watch first at least.

Hell I see a lot of people's bodies when I'm tattooing them. And I've shown my naked booty for art/plays more than a few times. I don't try to fuck everyone who sees me naked. My god I would be exhausted if I did that.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

I just don't really get why monogamous people go - if DH wants to get turned on by a naked chick, I'm at home. If he goes as part of a bach, whatevs.

The private room stuff I'm not comfortable with. Just...why?

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
I just don't really get why monogamous people go - if DH wants to get turned on by a naked chick, I'm at home. If he goes as part of a bach, whatevs.

The private room stuff I'm not comfortable with. Just...why?

Honestly, I could never do half the moves a good stripper can do. If H wanted to go check them out while I sit home and eat cheetos, then come home to me raring to go but I didn't have to do any of the work to get him there, that would be great. Win win.

And to ditto Pink, just because I have a hot husband at home doesn't mean I don't like looking at hot actors and models.

jdluvr06 · April 2015

I don't care if h wants to go to a strip club or watches porn. Nudity doesn't bother me at all. I actually did a "naked day" when I was at Burning Man several years ago.

redheadbride15 · April 2015

The idea of my FI at a strip club is just downright comical. He'd be sooooo uncomfortable! He hates the idea strip clubs and has told me as much on several occasions. It's not that he's a prude, just that he's really shy around strangers so the idea of a stranger taking of her clothes in front of him is just really unsettling. I kind of feel that way about strippers too. I have no fundamental problems with them, just wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it. I can think of many better things to do on a night out.

beethery · April 2015

jdluvr06 said:
I don't care if h wants to go to a strip club or watches porn. Nudity doesn't bother me at all. I actually did a "naked day" when I was at Burning Man several years ago.

You are such a fucking boss. I LOVE IT.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

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VulgarGirl · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
I just don't really get why monogamous people go - if DH wants to get turned on by a naked chick, I'm at home. If he goes as part of a bach, whatevs.

The private room stuff I'm not comfortable with. Just...why?

I like naked ladies. I like when the lady I married gets naked. But I also like when I see other naked ladies. Some days I even like naked dudes. Not so much the penis though...those just look weird....lady parts are much neater.

It doesn't make me like my wife naked any less. Just....tits are great. Thighs, asses, it's all good. Naked ladies are just wonderful.

jdluvr06 · April 2015

beethery said:

jdluvr06 said:
I don't care if h wants to go to a strip club or watches porn. Nudity doesn't bother me at all. I actually did a "naked day" when I was at Burning Man several years ago.
You are such a fucking boss. I LOVE IT.

It was super awesome at first but then I realized I was naked in the desert and I spent a big chunk of my day worried about scorpions.

sophhabobopha · April 2015

Okay so.. People who don't watch porn, what do you masturbte to? Erotica? I can dig that.

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

sophhabobopha said:
Okay so.. People who don't watch porn, what do you masturbte to? Erotica? I can dig that.

I put on something to act as a "noise cover" (Netflix or DVRed stuff) and then ignore it and make up stuff in my head.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

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drunkenwitch · April 2015

The day BF stops looking at women is the day I check for a pulse. He loves me, I trust him and that goes both ways. I tease him when he drools over Christina Hendricks and he teases me when I drool over Chris Hardwick. Occasionally he goes to a strip club and brings that energy home to me. Win!

ETA, I have my smut that I read and bring that energy to him.

drunkenwitch · April 2015

jdluvr06 said:
I don't care if h wants to go to a strip club or watches porn. Nudity doesn't bother me at all. I actually did a "naked day" when I was at Burning Man several years ago.

I'm a burner and so are most of my friends. Nudity does not phase me anymore

larrygaga · April 2015

I'm fine with it. I am pretty hot, I know that ain't no other bitch going to turn my FI on like I can.

You know how I know that? Because he's marrying me and not the stripper.

Just kidding, he's marrying me for my humble and modest personality.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

pinkrevenge said:

southernbelle0915 said:
I just don't really get why monogamous people go - if DH wants to get turned on by a naked chick, I'm at home. If he goes as part of a bach, whatevs.

The private room stuff I'm not comfortable with. Just...why?
Well, because why look for strawberry when you always have vanilla?

Because variety is interesting and we're married, not neutered.

I don't think the fact that neither of us get our excitement and variety from strip clubs makes us vanilla or neutered/spayed.

doeydo · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

pinkrevenge said:

southernbelle0915 said:
I just don't really get why monogamous people go - if DH wants to get turned on by a naked chick, I'm at home. If he goes as part of a bach, whatevs.

The private room stuff I'm not comfortable with. Just...why?
Well, because why look for strawberry when you always have vanilla?

Because variety is interesting and we're married, not neutered.
I don't think the fact that neither of us get our excitement and variety from strip clubs makes us vanilla or neutered/spayed.

OK so the point is to go and look at some strawberry ice cream, get all excited, then go eat your boring ass vanilla? Fuck that. I'm not vanilla. If someone feels like they need to do that or that that is what their spouse is, TBH I don't know why they are in a monogamous relationship. Poly or something else would mean they could go taste all the ice cream they want.

ETA but, to each their own. Just personally, I'd be hurt if my SO felt that way.

artbyallie · April 2015

I am more likely to want to go to a strip club than H. He just cannot get comfortable with the idea of paying someone to take their clothes off, lol. However, we both adored the burlesque performance we went to back in February. It was amateur (not meaning it wasn't well done because it was awesome, just no money involved for the performers) and everyone really seemed to be genuinely enjoying it for the sake of the artistic value. And boobs, 'cause duh. I think he would be okay with attending burlesque where the dancers are making money, even, just not an actual strip club.

I would mostly avoid going at least locally because I have a terrible hunch I will see girls I knew in high school and, ugh, awkward.

FiancB · April 2015

MagicInk said:
We're both former strippers. Neither of us cares if the other goes to a strip joint. I'm pretty sure she's not gonna grab a dancer and fuck her right then and there. Not without calling me to come watch first at least.

Hell I see a lot of people's bodies when I'm tattooing them. And I've shown my naked booty for art/plays more than a few times. I don't try to fuck everyone who sees me naked. My god I would be exhausted if I did that.

My thoughts exactly. Nudity doesn't phase me. And the dancers can't be fucking every halfway decent looking/acting guy that comes in because, even if they wanted to (they don't), it would be exhausting. If anything, I trust dancers more than I trust, say, coworkers. The dancers aren't hotter than me and I'm not hotter than the dancers- just different.

I think DH is hot. I also think Colin Farrel is hot. Guess what, I'm not married to Colin Farrel nor do I want to be.

If you thin your SO is going to cheat at a strip club, you have trust issues and probably a messed up view of sex workers. If you just don't like the idea of your SO looking at other women, you have self esteem issues and are rather naive and probably hypocritical. JMO.

That said, I never really understood the appeal of a strip club and that's probably why I was terrible at stripping. It's hard to make a sales pitch when it boggles your mind that someone would pay that much to get close to a naked writhing body. lol.

BTW strippers hate female customers. The more you knooooow.

climbingsingle · April 2015

There are strippers at the club that are hotter than me. I'm sure my H would get turned on by them. But I trust my H completely, and I know that he'd never put our relationship in jeopardy by cheating on me. Because as much as he may find a woman attractive, I'm the one he loves. Just like I find other men attractive. That doesn't mean I'm going to hop into bed with them. I find men and women attractive, and to me, it's fun to be turned on and then be intimate with my H.

charcoalandblush · April 2015

I have zero issues with it. DF goes with his buddies occasionally (maybe 2 or 3 times a year). Lap dances don't bother me either. Whatevs. I know he's coming home to me, and that's what matters.

TrixieJess · April 2015

I don't have a problem with strippers. However, it's a running joke in our house that I've been to more strip clubs than FI has. My FI is an introverted, sci-fi nerd, who likes to spend his Saturday nights playing D&D with his friends. I'm a little wilder. This is how we roll.

I trust FI, if he wanted to go to a strip club, I have no problems with it.

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