Oppression is cooking being “women’s work,” while the overwhelming majority of top restaurant chefs are male.
Oppression is fashion being a “silly girl thing,” while the top earning designers and CEOs in fashion are male.
Oppression is reducing women to consumers profiting a male system, even in fields that we supposedly dominate."
So relevant to so many of my interests. Horses- the vast majority of riders are female, but the majority of the top riders are male, especially in western pleasure- to the point where people kept saying how great it was that a woman actually won the 2012 Quarter Horse Congress western pleasure Masters.
Nursing- very much a female dominated profession, but males still get paid more and get promoted faster, and it’s gotten to be a popular job choice. I’ve seen guys even ask on allnurses things like “I have the advantage, don’t I?” when considering a career in nursing.
@FiancB - You and I should have been friends as kids! I had the exact same complaint about the girl scouts when I was little. I wanted to go camping, hiking, and fishing. I went to girl scouts a couple of times with friends and definitely felt like I didn't fit because I wasn't into the girly stuff.
ETA: The fuck is that ad?! That was a real ad, that Axe actually thought was appropriate to run? It's disgusting and shit like that is why I roll my eyes at Dove.
@FiancB - You and I should have been friends as kids! I had the exact same complaint about the girl scouts when I was little. I wanted to go camping, hiking, and fishing. I went to girl scouts a couple of times with friends and definitely felt like I didn't fit because I wasn't into the girly stuff.
ETA: The fuck is that ad?! That was a real ad, that Axe actually thought was appropriate to run? It's disgusting and shit like that is why I roll my eyes at Dove.
I think the issue here is having a good troop leader. My mom was my leader for a few years, and then made sure I was in a good troop after that. One meeting will also not give you a good idea. Sure there were certain meetings that I found boring. I'm a terrible artist, so all the craft projects were not my favorite.
I've always been a feminist. My earliest memory of burning down the patriarchy was when I was in second grade. Every day I brought my notebook to recess so I could write. I wrote a novella about Benny, a young boy who was denied his dream of becoming a ballerina (and rocking a sweet-ass tutu) because dancing (and pink) was for girls. Well Benny gave no fucks and did it anyway because girls are awesome, so why wouldn't he want to be 'girly'?
Girl scouts was actually another thing that pissed off little born-feminist me. I begged to join because I thought we'd be going camping and stuff like that. I went to a meeting and we made magnets. I never went back. I realize not all troops are the same, but that one was definitely all about GIRL scouts doing GIRLY stuff.
Here, have an exceptionally gross ad from Axe, champion of fuckboys. Also don't forget the same company sells Dove, so don't think for a second they give a shit about "real women" unless it's real women giving them money.
We have Girl Guides in Canada (same organisation) and I had a similar experience. I had been in the organisation from a Brownie and loved it. Our troop did badges every other week, was very active in the community and camped twice a year. We moved to a smaller town and I immediately joined the local troop. Girls who were ready to move up to Pathfinders didn't have as many badges as I did and the troop didn't do badges or go camping. I lasted 3 weeks.
All of the above reasons, but specifically two really stick out because they happened recently:
1.) That when fi (male) identified as a feminist people have laughed thinking it was a joke that a man could believe a woman deserved equal rights
2.) I went to a conference that had an informal but advertised session about problems with the treatment of women in the industry especially around things like gamer gate and not one man showed up essentially because society sees it as a "women's issue" and not an industry problem.
I think I've been a feminist for as long as I can remember. I don't have any brothers, my parents have 3 girls. They always told us we could be whatever we wanted. My dad always said when we were little, if someone touches you, you scream and fight back. I'm lucky that I haven't had many experiences like pp.
I also have no problem causing a scene if I think someone is out of line. I was at a party and this guy kept slapping my ass. I finally said "If you touch my ass one more time, I'm going to punch you in the face". The host of the party finally was like, whoa whoa whoa, he's just drunk, he doesn't mean any harm." I told him I didn't care, he needs to stop assaulting me.
I also had a coach that subtly was verbally sexually harassing us. It was little things at first, like jokes that were on the inappropriate side, but borderline. I'm pretty laid back, but considering he was an authority figure, it was inappropriate. One time, during a tournament, I was taking off my warm up pants and he was all "ooh take it off' I told him to shut the fuck up. Yeah, he got fired.
I was also a Girl Scout from age 7-18. The Girl Scouts are a great organization. It gives young women confidence, leadership skills, and character. I highly recommend it for anyone's daughter. (And they are a completely different organization than the boy scouts: I would never allow my son to be apart of that homophobic organization).
I sincerely hope we have a girl if we choose to have kids for that very reason. FI was an eagle scout so he loves boy scouts. I just can't imagine letting my child participate in an organization with those kind of "values".
@FiancB - You and I should have been friends as kids! I had the exact same complaint about the girl scouts when I was little. I wanted to go camping, hiking, and fishing. I went to girl scouts a couple of times with friends and definitely felt like I didn't fit because I wasn't into the girly stuff.
ETA: The fuck is that ad?! That was a real ad, that Axe actually thought was appropriate to run? It's disgusting and shit like that is why I roll my eyes at Dove.
Yeah my girl scout troop was awful, but that was mostly because the leader was going through some personal stuff. My sister had a better experience.
I wasn't too thrilled with my Girl Scouts experience as well. We mostly did arts and crafts. I made a lot of ornaments and hair clips. I remember the glue gun being present at a lot of meetings.
I was raised with the I understanding that we are a family of feminists. I have strong, powerful women in my family and was taught that we are equal. I grew up with working women who were politically active and had control over their lives.
But the family was also very poor Jewish immigrants who went through hell. I was taught not to put myself in bad situations. I was taught to be careful, thoughtful, and deliberate.
In college, I thought I was a feminist. I fooled around with girls, listened to Liz Phair and Ani DiFranco and took women's studies classes. Yet when I got roofed in college, it never occurred to me that it wasn't my fault. When I was attacked a year later, I still blamed myself.
It "clicked" for me that I really was a feminist when I broke up with a guy for ordering me to get him a drink. It was the aha moment I needed. I sometimes need to remind myself that the things I do/think to protect myself aren't fair and aren't the way it should be.
So am I a feminist? Hell yeah! But it's hard work and I frequent talk a better game than I live.
I think I've mentioned before about my grandmother here, but I really think that she is where I get most of my feminist traits from.
She went to work at 19, at the plant that built the atomic bomb. She made something of herself long before she ever married my grandpa. BTW, there's a good book about the girls who went to work at the plant called The Girls of Atomic City. but anyway....
Then she married my grandpa, and when my dad was 17, he just walked out the door one day and never came back. Leaving my grandmother with 7 children at home, (she had 9 children total) and 1 was an infant.
She could have EASILY sought out another man to marry, could have EASILY wallowed in her own self pity about my grandpa leaving her, but she NEVER once did. I'll tell you what she did do, and that was work 3 jobs to put food on the table, all while helping her kids with school work and showing her boys and girls how to play basketball in her spare time between jobs.
Some people saw my grandmother as hardened because she did all of this on her own, but I see her as one of the strongest women I ever knew, and if there was one thing she instilled in me, it was that I could do ANYTHING I set my mind to and there were no boundaries.
I almost died last night, There was a commercial for a new show Arranged in which they follow 3 arranged marriages. So in the preview, this Southern woman (can tell by accent) is getting her early 20's daughter ready for the wedding and she says "Women should never be president. Pregnant- yes! But not president." My mouth dropped and I turned to husband like did she just fucking say that?
I thought you all would like this story my friend just shared with me. Some background info: the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique at Walt Disney World is located at Cinderella's Castle in the Magic Kingdom (where my friend's story takes place) as well as at Downtown Disney. Children ages 3-12 are able to get "makeovers" that include nails, makeup (eye shadow and blush), hair done up in a bun with a crown (and of course all the glitter gel you can imagine) and sometimes a princess dress and sash. This is an extremely popular experience, that usually fills up a few weeks to months in advance.
"When I worked at Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique, there was a little boy who was celebrating his 3rd birthday. He had his hair grown out long(ish), and he just really wanted the full princess experience. Dress, heels, crown, wand... The whole 9. We made his wish come true, and I was the one who did his hair. I asked what he wanted to be called that day, and he said Princess ____ (I can't remember his name)... The parents had another boy that was older and definitely a "typical boy". Sporty clothes, short hair, tennis shoes, etc. We had guests coming up to me telling ME that I was sending the wrong messages to all of the little girls getting princessified. His father politely said "His dreams being fulfilled are just as important as your little girls' dreams", and they just did not care what anyone else thought. It was pretty profound! Mom and Dad told me that he has always wanted to wear the pink things. The girly things. They learned to accept him for his individuality, and even though he's only 3, he knows what he wants."
I've been a feminist for years now. I didn't think much about it in high school but I never was exposed to it. I had to seek it out and realize what it is really about. I'm proud to be one and I'll never understand why anyone with a brain wouldn't identify as one. My dad use to always ask me if I was on my period if I had a different viewpoint than him on subjects. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I'm filled with" hysterical hormones" at the moment. I try to educate everyone about what feminism is really about.
I rather be viewed as uptight than let ignorant comments be swept under the rug. A sign I saw in Cracker Barrel said Resinol Soap " The girl with a clear skin is always admired". That made me really angry. Instead of admiring the woman for her intelligence and/or her personality we should admire her because her skin is consider "beautiful". I couldn't believe that was hanging on a restaurant wall in 2015.
My girl scout troop did all the outdoorsy camping stuff. It's how I learned, I don't fucking like camping. But it's still nice to know I have all the camping skill set. I can make a fire, pitch a tent, even turn a coffee can into a stove that very slowly will cook some eggs. I can do all those things. But frankly, the most outdoorsy I get is get is getting drunk on a patio. And if I'm sleeping outside I'm not camping, I'm passed out. Please bring me inside.
I was walking to lunch and some guy came up behind me and grabbed my ass. Just out of the blue! At first I thought that it might have been an accident, like someone bumped into me or something. But then he just started mumbling stuff, something about "you little white girl" and I think there was something about Ted Bundy in there. It was one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me. I just ignored him... I wish I had had the balls to say something to him (or punch him). He followed me for like 3 blocks!
It just makes me so mad at every single person who wants to pretend that sexism and rape culture don't exist. I just literally don't understand how people can believe that. This man felt ENTITLED to touch me and follow me and talk to me when I clearly didn't want to be talked to... Just because I'm a woman who dared walk outside at 11:30am on a Wednesday!
I'm also a little bit mad at myself for making sexist assumptions. Because when I started posting this, one of my first thoughts was to include what I'm wearing, because it's pretty conservative - knee length skirt and crew neck blouse. But that is stupid and irrelevant. He would have had no more right to touch me if I was walking around in my panties. It just goes to show you how deeply ingrained the sexism and victim blaming can be. I have never thought of myself as anything less than a fierce feminist. And I'm STILL susceptible to thousands thoughts until I correct myself.
I am a feminist, but I know I have some horrible things ingrained in me, from my upbringing. I used to think a woman was not allowed to swear, because it looks trashy. It took me a while to realize either no on swears or everyone swears (I swear a lot). It shouldn't be ruled out because of gender. I, on the other side, make jokes abut men not knowing anything in the kitchen. This is my hangup, because I know that several men (excluding my husband) know their way around the kitchen and are far better cooks than I am. I am working to get past these stereotypes, I always thought were a joke, then I put the shoe on the other foot and I realized they were just as offensive to men as they are to women.
A lot of the stereotypes that were reinforced like slut shaming, thankfully, I easily overcame. And I will argue with anyone who will listen when they think a code applies to women and not men. A year ago, my niece tole me she hated Taylor Swift. She didn't like her because she thinks she is a slut, and she sleeps around. (she was a big One Direction fan, and didn't like that a guy from that band was used by Taylor Swift). I told her, "You know, we NEVER hear about the band members sleeping with this girl or that girl, and I KNOW it happens." I told her I think Taylor Swift is a role model for young women. She may be a dating a lot of people, but she is not settling. To me, I think it is a compliment that she will not stay with some jerk just to avoid rumors. My niece now loves Taylor Swift.
My father was a prick. Growing up, he was always between jobs. My step-mother was a teacher, and supported him and all of the children. She had to teach piano students, at times, to help finances. Even though my step-mother had two jobs, and my father didn't have a job, my stepmom had to do all of the cleaning, laundry and cooking because it was... "woman's work."
My step-father was the absolute worst misogynistic prick God put on the planet. He wouldn't even allow my mother to get a job because "no woman of his was going to work. Taking care of the home and the children are the only jobs suitable for a Christian woman." Once, I argued with him about why his son never did the dishes and paid for it.
My husband once told me he hates when I get on my man hating rants. I say, I don't hate all men, just men that do or think horrible shit about women. Feminism was always used as a derogatory term in our families. As I got older, I just realized there is a strong disconnect in the way men are treated as opposed to women, and voicing it does not make you militant. Standing in opposition to unfair treatment of ANY person means you are doing what's right. There is no way that will ever be wrong.
I know tongues wag about me not changing my last name to my husband's, but I have been so deep in misogyny, growing up, I couldn't abide by another tradition where men are our superiors and not our equals. I don't judge any one else for taking their husbands last name, but to me, it felt phony.
I hated toys for girls, and loved my brother's toys because they were so cool. When my brother got Legos, I got a second childhood! I vow to never reinforce gender roles for my nieces or nephew. My nephew has a vacuum cleaner and his uncle said he shouldn't play with it, because it is a girl's toy. My sister asked him if he vacuumed his apartment... he had nothing to say. Then he said, "Okay, as long as you don't get him a kitchen set." My sister says, "We are getting him one for Christmas." He snapped, " That's a girls toy!!!" My sister asked him if he ever makes dinner for himself.,,, he had nothing to say and didn't bring it up, again. Feminism for the win!
I had a women come into my credit union today with two little boys. We give out stickers to little kids. She specifically asked for "boy stickers" for her sons. WTF are boy stickers lady? I just let her boys pick which ones they wanted.
I was walking to lunch and some guy came up behind me and grabbed my ass. Just out of the blue! At first I thought that it might have been an accident, like someone bumped into me or something. But then he just started mumbling stuff, something about "you little white girl" and I think there was something about Ted Bundy in there. It was one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me. I just ignored him... I wish I had had the balls to say something to him (or punch him). He followed me for like 3 blocks!
It just makes me so mad at every single person who wants to pretend that sexism and rape culture don't exist. I just literally don't understand how people can believe that. This man felt ENTITLED to touch me and follow me and talk to me when I clearly didn't want to be talked to... Just because I'm a woman who dared walk outside at 11:30am on a Wednesday!
I'm also a little bit mad at myself for making sexist assumptions. Because when I started posting this, one of my first thoughts was to include what I'm wearing, because it's pretty conservative - knee length skirt and crew neck blouse. But that is stupid and irrelevant. He would have had no more right to touch me if I was walking around in my panties. It just goes to show you how deeply ingrained the sexism and victim blaming can be. I have never thought of myself as anything less than a fierce feminist. And I'm STILL susceptible to thousands thoughts until I correct myself.
The last time someone grabbed my ass was when I was working as a cocktail waitress. I almost broke his wrist. I told him, he was lucky I knew how much pressure to apply or he wouldn't be able to walk out with just a dislocation. One of the girls I worked with asked why I did it, I told her, reflex. THAT should be the reflex that every woman has when a man grabs her.
I don't remember when I became a feminist. In high school I used to claim I "wasn't a feminazi" but I still thought unequal treatment was horrible and wanted fair pay. I just also liked boys and was confused.
I think I'm mostly a feminist because my family raised me thinking I can do anything I wanted to. My parents had fairly typical gender roles, but I've always felt that was more because of what they wanted/liked. My Mom is the smartest lady. She got her degree to teach both Math and English, because she's really good at both things. And then she went to night school to get her Masters so she could continue teaching at the college level. My Dad is smart, more practically minded, but also more creative. He started his own business because he saw how he wanted things to be done and thought his way was better. But Mom is 50% owner in the business and he always refers to her skills. My Dad is a big picture person and he knows it, Mom is good at all the details. And they continue to hold these roles to this day, because it's what makes them happy.
I also did Girl Scouts. I'll agree we never too did much of the camping/hiking stuff. But I liked it that way. I'm okay with camping once in a blue moon, but I love my arts and crafts! So our troop was a good fit for me because they did a lot of that stuff. And I always like the volunteer/community stuff they did as we got older. I think I quit in about 7th grade because our troop wasn't able to meet regularly. We just kind of fell apart. But it was a good experience.
I had a women come into my credit union today with two little boys. We give out stickers to little kids. She specifically asked for "boy stickers" for her sons. WTF are boy stickers lady? I just let her boys pick which ones they wanted.
I was walking to lunch and some guy came up behind me and grabbed my ass. Just out of the blue! At first I thought that it might have been an accident, like someone bumped into me or something. But then he just started mumbling stuff, something about "you little white girl" and I think there was something about Ted Bundy in there. It was one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me. I just ignored him... I wish I had had the balls to say something to him (or punch him). He followed me for like 3 blocks!
It just makes me so mad at every single person who wants to pretend that sexism and rape culture don't exist. I just literally don't understand how people can believe that. This man felt ENTITLED to touch me and follow me and talk to me when I clearly didn't want to be talked to... Just because I'm a woman who dared walk outside at 11:30am on a Wednesday!
I'm also a little bit mad at myself for making sexist assumptions. Because when I started posting this, one of my first thoughts was to include what I'm wearing, because it's pretty conservative - knee length skirt and crew neck blouse. But that is stupid and irrelevant. He would have had no more right to touch me if I was walking around in my panties. It just goes to show you how deeply ingrained the sexism and victim blaming can be. I have never thought of myself as anything less than a fierce feminist. And I'm STILL susceptible to thousands thoughts until I correct myself.
I remember two instances really clearly in the restaurant I used to work at. One time I was doing a table check, and just walking past a table, when an elderly man stopped me and told me he wanted to spank me repeatedly and was going to wait until I wasn't expecting it to do it. It really freaked me out, and I went and told my manager that I wouldn't be checking that section any longer. He laughed and walked away. I was really mad that he so easily discounted someone straight up telling me they were going to sexually assault me.
Another time, a man came into our restaurant and ordered some food to go. I was up front alone at the hostess stand, and I took his order, but then he started to say some really inappropriate things. They were even violent, and they really freaked me out. I was so disturbed I grabbed the bus boy to stand up front with me so I wouldn't be alone with this guy. I told my manager how uncomfortable I was, and let him know that I was keeping the bus boy up front with me until the man left. The manager walked up front with me, told the bus boy to get back to work, and then walked away laughing. I was furious. But, you know, fear of being assaulted is totally funny. It's just my silly girl hormones overreacting to some compliments.
I remember having this recurring thought in late elementary school: "I'm a person first and a girl second." But I have no idea what prompted it. There have always been strong female role models in my life, though. And I love that all the good, influential men in my life have been feminists. Including DH, whose books feature strong and intelligent female protagonists.
When my mom was a little girl she told my grandma that she wanted to be a boy when she grew up because they got to do more. Based on what she has accomplished, though, I'm pretty sure she doesn't need to be a boy anymore to feel proud of what she's done.
Keep doing your thing fighting for equality rights regardless of gender, color, and creed, FemiKnotties!
I think I've been a feminist for as long as I can remember. I don't have any brothers, my parents have 3 girls. They always told us we could be whatever we wanted. My dad always said when we were little, if someone touches you, you scream and fight back. I'm lucky that I haven't had many experiences like pp.
I also have no problem causing a scene if I think someone is out of line. I was at a party and this guy kept slapping my ass. I finally said "If you touch my ass one more time, I'm going to punch you in the face". The host of the party finally was like, whoa whoa whoa, he's just drunk, he doesn't mean any harm." I told him I didn't care, he needs to stop assaulting me.
I also had a coach that subtly was verbally sexually harassing us. It was little things at first, like jokes that were on the inappropriate side, but borderline. I'm pretty laid back, but considering he was an authority figure, it was inappropriate. One time, during a tournament, I was taking off my warm up pants and he was all "ooh take it off' I told him to shut the fuck up. Yeah, he got fired.
I was also a Girl Scout from age 7-18. The Girl Scouts are a great organization. It gives young women confidence, leadership skills, and character. I highly recommend it for anyone's daughter. (And they are a completely different organization than the boy scouts: I would never allow my son to be apart of that homophobic organization).
I sincerely hope we have a girl if we choose to have kids for that very reason. FI was an eagle scout so he loves boy scouts. I just can't imagine letting my child participate in an organization with those kind of "values".
Re: Feminism
So relevant to so many of my interests. Horses- the vast majority of riders are female, but the majority of the top riders are male, especially in western pleasure- to the point where people kept saying how great it was that a woman actually won the 2012 Quarter Horse Congress western pleasure Masters.
Nursing- very much a female dominated profession, but males still get paid more and get promoted faster, and it’s gotten to be a popular job choice. I’ve seen guys even ask on allnurses things like “I have the advantage, don’t I?” when considering a career in nursing.
We can’t have nice things.
But the family was also very poor Jewish immigrants who went through hell. I was taught not to put myself in bad situations. I was taught to be careful, thoughtful, and deliberate.
In college, I thought I was a feminist. I fooled around with girls, listened to Liz Phair and Ani DiFranco and took women's studies classes. Yet when I got roofed in college, it never occurred to me that it wasn't my fault. When I was attacked a year later, I still blamed myself.
It "clicked" for me that I really was a feminist when I broke up with a guy for ordering me to get him a drink. It was the aha moment I needed. I sometimes need to remind myself that the things I do/think to protect myself aren't fair and aren't the way it should be.
So am I a feminist? Hell yeah! But it's hard work and I frequent talk a better game than I live.
I think I've mentioned before about my grandmother here, but I really think that she is where I get most of my feminist traits from.
She went to work at 19, at the plant that built the atomic bomb. She made something of herself long before she ever married my grandpa. BTW, there's a good book about the girls who went to work at the plant called The Girls of Atomic City. but anyway....
Then she married my grandpa, and when my dad was 17, he just walked out the door one day and never came back. Leaving my grandmother with 7 children at home, (she had 9 children total) and 1 was an infant.
She could have EASILY sought out another man to marry, could have EASILY wallowed in her own self pity about my grandpa leaving her, but she NEVER once did. I'll tell you what she did do, and that was work 3 jobs to put food on the table, all while helping her kids with school work and showing her boys and girls how to play basketball in her spare time between jobs.
Some people saw my grandmother as hardened because she did all of this on her own, but I see her as one of the strongest women I ever knew, and if there was one thing she instilled in me, it was that I could do ANYTHING I set my mind to and there were no boundaries.
I almost died last night, There was a commercial for a new show Arranged in which they follow 3 arranged marriages. So in the preview, this Southern woman (can tell by accent) is getting her early 20's daughter ready for the wedding and she says "Women should never be president. Pregnant- yes! But not president." My mouth dropped and I turned to husband like did she just fucking say that?
I was walking to lunch and some guy came up behind me and grabbed my ass. Just out of the blue! At first I thought that it might have been an accident, like someone bumped into me or something. But then he just started mumbling stuff, something about "you little white girl" and I think there was something about Ted Bundy in there. It was one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me. I just ignored him... I wish I had had the balls to say something to him (or punch him). He followed me for like 3 blocks!
It just makes me so mad at every single person who wants to pretend that sexism and rape culture don't exist. I just literally don't understand how people can believe that. This man felt ENTITLED to touch me and follow me and talk to me when I clearly didn't want to be talked to... Just because I'm a woman who dared walk outside at 11:30am on a Wednesday!
I'm also a little bit mad at myself for making sexist assumptions. Because when I started posting this, one of my first thoughts was to include what I'm wearing, because it's pretty conservative - knee length skirt and crew neck blouse. But that is stupid and irrelevant. He would have had no more right to touch me if I was walking around in my panties. It just goes to show you how deeply ingrained the sexism and victim blaming can be. I have never thought of myself as anything less than a fierce feminist. And I'm STILL susceptible to thousands thoughts until I correct myself.
Another time, a man came into our restaurant and ordered some food to go. I was up front alone at the hostess stand, and I took his order, but then he started to say some really inappropriate things. They were even violent, and they really freaked me out. I was so disturbed I grabbed the bus boy to stand up front with me so I wouldn't be alone with this guy. I told my manager how uncomfortable I was, and let him know that I was keeping the bus boy up front with me until the man left. The manager walked up front with me, told the bus boy to get back to work, and then walked away laughing. I was furious. But, you know, fear of being assaulted is totally funny. It's just my silly girl hormones overreacting to some compliments.
Keep doing your thing fighting for equality rights regardless of gender, color, and creed, FemiKnotties!
--William Shakespeare (Sonnet 25)