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Moms and Maids

Help! Do I let future MIL wear what she wants?

24

Re: Help! Do I let future MIL wear what she wants?

  • LET was the wrong term and I've expressed this. 
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    MIL told me to let her know if dress is too much. I think it is. It's the same exact style dress as mine except silver. Looks like a wedding dress for bride whose already been married. I wanted to get opinions on whether I should be honest and say I think it is too much or just let it go and tell her she should wear it. THAT was the point. 

    It sounds like this is much more about you and your irrational fear that she will be taking attention away from you rather than the dress not being "appropriate".

    Again, you will be the centre of attention because you are the bride. "Let" her wear whatever she wants to wear.
    [Deleted User]ashley8918
  • redoryxredoryx member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2015

    I. Am. Not. Dressing. Others. 


    I'm not dictating anything. 



    If the rule is that you are the only one in the bridal party allowed to have strapless dress because pictures, that's dictating.

    But thanks for playing.

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    [Deleted User]
  • redoryxredoryx member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer

    LET was the wrong term and I've expressed this. 



    I don't think it is. I think Let is exactly what you meant but now you're only back peddling because we called you out on it so just own up to it.

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    [Deleted User]levioosaashley8918
  • That's absolutely not the situation she's in. And that's absolutely not what I meant. But everyone seems to think they know everything, right? This is quite ridiculous and I'm not longer participating in this. Have a lovely day.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Nice try 
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    ashley8918
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    MIL told me to let her know if dress is too much. I think it is. It's the same exact style dress as mine except silver. Looks like a wedding dress for bride whose already been married. I wanted to get opinions on whether I should be honest and say I think it is too much or just let it go and tell her she should wear it. THAT was the point. 



    Holy fucking shit- you have A WHOLE PAGE of opinions telling you NO, do NOT tell her and LET. IT. GO. 


    Formerly martha1818

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    [Deleted User]bluebell42ashley8918esstee33
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
  • Your FMIL was covertly asking your permission to wear that dress and know you're alright with it. I highly doubt she wants issues anymore than you do. BUT she probably really wants to wear the dress. I think you should roll it off your shoulders. Besides, if you get photos with just the two of you, I bet they'll look sweet.





    soontobemrson912bluebell42
  • I understand completely and I'm going to just let her know I'm fine with whatever she chooses. It's just she just started looking this week so she's only tried on two dresses. So I personally feel like she could look more but you're absolutely right. She's a permenant part of my life and I'd rather her wear what she wants for the day then have her mad at me, for who knows how long.
    [Deleted User]ohannabellelc07
  • I understand completely and I'm going to just let her know I'm fine with whatever she chooses. It's just she just started looking this week so she's only tried on two dresses. So I personally feel like she could look more but you're absolutely right. She's a permenant part of my life and I'd rather her wear what she wants for the day then have her mad at me, for who knows how long.

    I think this is a good call.

    My MIL practically begged me to tell her what to wear. And still I was like, "I'm sure you'll look great." I did tell her what the BMs were wearing and what the GMs were wearing so she could get a feel for formality (we hadn't yet sent our invites). And she asked for our wedding colors. She ended up going with something WAY different than I thought.... and she looked fab.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • There's a reg whose MIL (I think? It might have been step-MIL or something) wore her wedding dress to the wedding. As in, the same dress she had recently gotten married in herself. That bride didn't bat an eye. You should follow her example.
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    [Deleted User]ShesSoColdOliveOilsMommrsdee15
  • edited May 2015
    Ha. Good for her. If the dress looked like a wedding dress, white and everything, I would've absolutely have said no. That's an example I would not have followed.
  • There's a reg whose MIL (I think? It might have been step-MIL or something) wore her wedding dress to the wedding. As in, the same dress she had recently gotten married in herself. That bride didn't bat an eye. You should follow her example.

    Ha. Good for her. If the dress looked like a wedding dress, white and everything, I would've absolutely have said no. That's an example I would not have followed.

    However, the point of this story was that if someone wants to wear their wedding dress to your wedding, you won't have the opportunity to say no because they won't be asking you.
    Heffalump
  • edited May 2015
    If someone were to show up wearing what's clearly a wedding dress, white and everything, they would be asked to leave. I don't care who it is. That's a bit ridiculous.
  • Why ask them to leave? I'd just point and laugh.





    MairePoppyohannabellesouthernbelle0915[Deleted User]
  • True. It just makes that person look like a nutjob.
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper

    If someone were to show up wearing what's clearly a wedding dress, white and everything, they would be asked to leave. I don't care who it is. That's a bit ridiculous.

    Wait, what? Seriously?

    So if your own mother showed up in a white floor length dress, you would ask her to leave?

    You are the bride. Everyone knows that you are the bride. Someone else wearing a white dress will not confuse people. They will still know that you are the bride.

    On your wedding day you should be so blissfully happy and in love that you don't notice these kind of minor details. And if you do, you shrug them off because they by no means affect the outcome of the day. A wedding is about marrying the love of your life. If that happens, then guess what? Your wedding day was a success.
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    OliveOilsMommrscomposer[Deleted User]
  • edited May 2015
    No one shows up to a wedding wearing a white dress that looks like a wedding dress with good intentions, in my opinion. I feel like it's just simply disrespectful. My mother and mil would never do that so that's not something I have to worry about.
  • I was a guest at a wedding recently where a girl came in wearing a cocktail length champagne lace and beaded dress. It was at a beach wedding. It looked like a beach wedding gown. This girl barely knew the bride. She was the wife of a coworker with whom the bride was not very close. I thought she looked like an idiot and was very rude. NO ONE, to include the bride, cared enough to actually say anything. The bride was radiant and very obviously not upstaged. And for all I know where this specific woman may have thought to herself that her champagne dress looked nothing like a wedding gown. You shouldn't automatically assume everyone has bad intentions.





    OliveOilsMom[Deleted User]
  • edited May 2015
    That's different though because it wasn't white. I don't know that I would care in that situation. I just think it's a known thing to not wear white to a wedding where you know the bride will be in some variation of white.
  • Exactly why I said when you know the bride is wearing white. Can't read?
  • edited May 2015
    Oh, and I don't give a fuck what you have to say :)
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Oh, and I don't give a fuck what you have to say :)

    So why post? If you go around making announcements to a group that you don't "give a fuck what they have to say," why should they give a fuck what you have to say?
    lnixon8[Deleted User]
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    Oh, and I don't give a fuck what you have to say :)

    Oh yeah? Is that why you posted asking the intenet for opinions? Because you "dont give a fuck"?
    esstee33Heffalump
  • I was looking for constructive opinions. & frankly I don't care about the comments that aren't helpful and are just outright mean. So, for those, no I don't give a fuck.
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Every response in this thread was constructive:

    -Don't have a gap. Gaps are rude
    -Don't even consider telling your FMIL what to wear. This is hella rude.
    -It is impossible for the bride to be "upstaged". Chill.


    esstee33CMGragain
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