Bridesmaid duty

[Deleted User] · July 2015

redwoodoriginal said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

banana468 said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

Thanks for all the advice. What's done is done. Do I regret it? Yes..but no turning back now. As far as the Bach party.. I am going but just not staying the night. The hotel hasn't been finalized so I won't be messing up any budgeting.

You don't know that.

It looks like there are a TON of assumptions that are being made both on your part and on the MOH's part. You need to be clear to her NOW: "I'm able to contribute to the shower and that means that I can attend the bachelorette party but will not be staying overnight in the hotel. I will be contributing X total which includes my food/beverage/X for that night."

We all have to pay for our tickets to the cruise we are going on. And split dinner. I agreed to do that and nothing more (which i stated)

But HOW are you splitting dinner? What if you have to have two drinks and a pasta dish and the girl next to you orders the ribeye and five drinks? You still splitting that? What if they order appetizers "for the table" but you never get to taste it bc there are six pieces of bread and seven of you?

I'd make it perfectly clear that you are covering your own meal and throwing in for the bride's. I wouldn't assume that "splitting dinner" is going to end well, especially knowing these people.

That's exactly what I did. I said I'll pay my share as well as $x for the bride's meal and drinks.

Liatris2010 · July 2015

BreezyMac100315 said:

banana468 said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

Thanks for all the advice. What's done is done. Do I regret it? Yes..but no turning back now. As far as the Bach party.. I am going but just not staying the night. The hotel hasn't been finalized so I won't be messing up any budgeting.

You don't know that.

It looks like there are a TON of assumptions that are being made both on your part and on the MOH's part. You need to be clear to her NOW: "I'm able to contribute to the shower and that means that I can attend the bachelorette party but will not be staying overnight in the hotel. I will be contributing X total which includes my food/beverage/X for that night."

We all have to pay for our tickets to the cruise we are going on. And split dinner. I agreed to do that and nothing more (which i stated)

Split dinner, just like you split the shower costs. What could go wrong?

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Liatris2010 said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

banana468 said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

Thanks for all the advice. What's done is done. Do I regret it? Yes..but no turning back now. As far as the Bach party.. I am going but just not staying the night. The hotel hasn't been finalized so I won't be messing up any budgeting.

You don't know that.

It looks like there are a TON of assumptions that are being made both on your part and on the MOH's part. You need to be clear to her NOW: "I'm able to contribute to the shower and that means that I can attend the bachelorette party but will not be staying overnight in the hotel. I will be contributing X total which includes my food/beverage/X for that night."

We all have to pay for our tickets to the cruise we are going on. And split dinner. I agreed to do that and nothing more (which i stated)

Split dinner, just like you split the shower costs. What could go wrong?

Correction: split the bride's dinner

PrettyGirlLost · July 2015

BreezyMac100315 said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

Thanks for all the advice. What's done is done. Do I regret it? Yes..but no turning back now. As far as the Bach party.. I am going but just not staying the night. The hotel hasn't been finalized so I won't be messing up any budgeting.

You don't know that.

It looks like there are a TON of assumptions that are being made both on your part and on the MOH's part. You need to be clear to her NOW: "I'm able to contribute to the shower and that means that I can attend the bachelorette party but will not be staying overnight in the hotel. I will be contributing X total which includes my food/beverage/X for that night."

We all have to pay for our tickets to the cruise we are going on. And split dinner. I agreed to do that and nothing more (which i stated)

But HOW are you splitting dinner? What if you have to have two drinks and a pasta dish and the girl next to you orders the ribeye and five drinks? You still splitting that? What if they order appetizers "for the table" but you never get to taste it bc there are six pieces of bread and seven of you? I'd make it perfectly clear that you are covering your own meal and throwing in for the bride's. I wouldn't assume that "splitting dinner" is going to end well, especially knowing these people.
That's exactly what I did. I said I'll pay my share as well as $x for the bride's meal and drinks.

No, that's not specific enough for this group, as evidenced by the previous 4 pages.

"I'm happy to pay for my own meal and chip in $X towards the bride's meal and drinks."

[Deleted User] · July 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

banana468 said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

Thanks for all the advice. What's done is done. Do I regret it? Yes..but no turning back now. As far as the Bach party.. I am going but just not staying the night. The hotel hasn't been finalized so I won't be messing up any budgeting.

You don't know that.

It looks like there are a TON of assumptions that are being made both on your part and on the MOH's part. You need to be clear to her NOW: "I'm able to contribute to the shower and that means that I can attend the bachelorette party but will not be staying overnight in the hotel. I will be contributing X total which includes my food/beverage/X for that night."

We all have to pay for our tickets to the cruise we are going on. And split dinner. I agreed to do that and nothing more (which i stated)

But HOW are you splitting dinner? What if you have to have two drinks and a pasta dish and the girl next to you orders the ribeye and five drinks? You still splitting that? What if they order appetizers "for the table" but you never get to taste it bc there are six pieces of bread and seven of you?

I'd make it perfectly clear that you are covering your own meal and throwing in for the bride's. I wouldn't assume that "splitting dinner" is going to end well, especially knowing these people.

That's exactly what I did. I said I'll pay my share as well as $x for the bride's meal and drinks.

No, that's not specific enough for this group, as evidenced by the previous 4 pages.

"I'm happy to pay for my own meal and chip in $X towards the bride's meal and drinks."

I'm paraphrasing.. To be completely clear, my exact email was that I would contribute $x for the bride's meal and pay for my own order. I am not able to contribute further.

ShesSoCold · July 2015

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy are we still talking about this!?

[Deleted User] · July 2015

ShesSoCold said:
Whyyyyyyyyyyyy are we still talking about this!?

Agreed!

TheCheeseWench · July 2015

BreezyMac100315 said:

Aside from responding almost word-for-word as written above, the only other thing you can do is make sure you don't show up to the party bragging about your brand now expensive shoes, and the fancy dinner you went to last night, and the extravagant vacation you're planning.

You are totally in your right to choose to spend your money however and wherever you want, and the MOH was totally wrong for not discussing the budget before just invoicing you. Nevertheless, right or wrong, it is very annoying when someone says "I can't afford that" to your face, and then turns around and brags about all the money they're spending on something else.

Not that you would do this, but it's worth mentioning it. My sis-in-law does this ALL the time and it drives me nuts.
I wish I could afford new shoes! Haha I'm getting married in October so all my money is going towards my own wedding right now.. I'll definitely be careful about what I say though. Thank you!

Okay, so in addition to what Starmoon said tell her this. Anyone who knows anyone who has ever gotten married knows what a cashsuck it can be. Trying to throw parties for a second wedding while planning your own (and trying to keep a budget in line) can be pretty damn stressful. If this chick can't understand how her way of planning was WRONG, she should at least understand the glaringly obvious reason that right now might not be the perfect time to go throwing extra cash around. If not, she's an idiot and I'm not awesome at dealing with idiots. Have you talked to any of the other bridesmaids about this? Are any of them having similar difficulties?

[Deleted User] · July 2015

TheCheeseWench said:

BreezyMac100315 said:

MandyMost said:
Aside from responding almost word-for-word as written above, the only other thing you can do is make sure you don't show up to the party bragging about your brand now expensive shoes, and the fancy dinner you went to last night, and the extravagant vacation you're planning.

You are totally in your right to choose to spend your money however and wherever you want, and the MOH was totally wrong for not discussing the budget before just invoicing you. Nevertheless, right or wrong, it is very annoying when someone says "I can't afford that" to your face, and then turns around and brags about all the money they're spending on something else.

Not that you would do this, but it's worth mentioning it. My sis-in-law does this ALL the time and it drives me nuts.
I wish I could afford new shoes! Haha I'm getting married in October so all my money is going towards my own wedding right now.. I'll definitely be careful about what I say though. Thank you!

Okay, so in addition to what Starmoon said tell her this. Anyone who knows anyone who has ever gotten married knows what a cashsuck it can be. Trying to throw parties for a second wedding while planning your own (and trying to keep a budget in line) can be pretty damn stressful. If this chick can't understand how her way of planning was WRONG, she should at least understand the glaringly obvious reason that right now might not be the perfect time to go throwing extra cash around. If not, she's an idiot and I'm not awesome at dealing with idiots. Have you talked to any of the other bridesmaids about this? Are any of them having similar difficulties?

The shower is over. At least it was a success. I'm not friends with anyonevelde in the party so it's difficult

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