Changing name

Denise40 · December 2015

Is there a time frame to start the process? Also, people that either kept maiden name and married name or hyphenated their names, what's the difference or benefits of each? If I hyphenate do I still have to change name on my existing bank account? Sorry for sounding dumb

holyguacamole79 · December 2015

Do you have your marriage license back yet from the county?

Denise40 · December 2015

Yes

luckya23 · December 2015

The benefit of not changing my name was zero hassle!

lyndausvi · December 2015

I have a 2 last names. I fucking hate it. But not enough to go through the process to have it changed again.

If your name is legally hyphenated, then yes you have to change your name on things like your bank account. If you are only doing it socially, then you do not.

What the first step depends on your location. I had to get my social security changed before I could do my DMV. I couldn't do other things like bank until the SS and DMV were done.

lnixon8 · December 2015

I would do it as fast as you comfortably can. You don't want to plan a trip abroad and then realize your passport isn't "you" anymore a week before takeoff.

I made my last name a second middle name.

Don't know where you live but when you pick a day to go to the dmv check public school closures. I'm a teacher so I thought I was super smart going on Yom Kippur so I wouldn't have to take a day off. I saw over 20 of my students trying to get their drivers license and was there for more than 8 hours. SS isn't bad but must be done first.

thisismynickname2 · December 2015

Agree with PP- pick a day off and knock out as many things as possible in one day.
I went to SS office early in the morning and only waited about 40 minutes. They gave me a receipt that the DMV accepts. Went to DMV express, got license in 10 minutes. Went to the bank and not only changed my name, but also opened a new joint account with DH (he met me at the bank on lunch).
Then, I mailed off my passport name change; they only needed my old passport and marriage certificate, which they mailed back pretty quickly (2 weeks?). I didn't like that they wanted the original marriage certificate and not a copy, but, like I said, they returned it quickly.

Work needed my marriage certificate to change that info; it rolled into changing my insurance too (sweet). My airline mileage accounts needed either my DL or marriage certificate photocopy. Credit cards accepted copies of my new DL.

There are several threads about name changes I believe over in Customs and Traditions. For me, I don't have "a name" in my field, and I simply enjoy the appearance of a family unit by being "Mr and Mrs OneLastName." This is a very personal decision that you must make for yourself. (Part of my personal reasoning was that my married name is far easier to spell and pronounce than my maiden name. I've always wanted to change it!)

madamerwin · December 2015

I agree with PPs, try to do it as soon as you easily can, and if possible all in one day. I went to the SS office first thing in the morning and was in and out in 40 minutes. Then I checked my local DMV website, where they have approximate wait times that are updated every few minutes. I ended up driving to a farther-away DMV because the wait time was a fraction of the closer one. I was in and out of there in 30 minutes.

And banks - they all have different procedures for changing your name. I was able to do it over the phone with one credit card, online with another, and I had to go in to Wells Fargo for my checking and savings accounts. I still need to go in to BofA to update a different credit card, and I haven't updated my passport yet.

Where I live (Oregon), you have to choose what your new name will be when you apply for a marriage license, and changing your mind after the fact is a pain in the ass... My sister (in CA) thought that she could just put her maiden name as middle and H's last name as her new last name and then choose whether to hyphenate it later, but she cannot do that without amending the marriage license (which I know she will never do). So depending on where you live, you might have to stick to what you put on the marriage license unless you go through the process of amending it.

I chose to drop my middle name and replace it with my maiden name, since I never really liked my middle name anyway. So now my name is First MaidenName H's LastName. Benefit? I got rid of a middle name I did not like, and got to keep a connection with my maiden name (which I do like), but still got to take H's name - which was important to me.

anjemon · December 2015

Slightly tangential question: Do other states not make you make this decision when applying for a marriage certificate? I filled out my "name after marriage" when I was applying and it was typed into my marriage certificate. That was the only name the SS office would accept. It was accidentally wrong in one place on my original marriage certificate and the SS office wouldn't change my name without the full certificate being correct.

lyndausvi · December 2015

anjemon said:

Slightly tangential question: Do other states not make you make this decision when applying for a marriage certificate? I filled out my "name after marriage" when I was applying and it was typed into my marriage certificate. That was the only name the SS office would accept. It was accidentally wrong in one place on my original marriage certificate and the SS office wouldn't change my name without the full certificate being correct.

not in NJ

luckya23 · December 2015

anjemon said:

Slightly tangential question: Do other states not make you make this decision when applying for a marriage certificate? I filled out my "name after marriage" when I was applying and it was typed into my marriage certificate. That was the only name the SS office would accept. It was accidentally wrong in one place on my original marriage certificate and the SS office wouldn't change my name without the full certificate being correct.

I filled that out on my certificate in NY, but since it was the same, I don't know if that's the only thing I could have used. I do know that up until recently you couldn't just change your middle name with a marriage certificate either, you had to do a legal name change with a judge. I think that just changed, though - as it's clearly a huge waste of the court's time!

littlemushroom · December 2015

anjemon said:
Slightly tangential question: Do other states not make you make this decision when applying for a marriage certificate? I filled out my "name after marriage" when I was applying and it was typed into my marriage certificate. That was the only name the SS office would accept. It was accidentally wrong in one place on my original marriage certificate and the SS office wouldn't change my name without the full certificate being correct.

Not in IL. There is no place for after marriage name when you apply for the marriage license or on the license itself.

julieanne912 · December 2015

Just a word of caution, some of the advice above can differ on where you live.

Here in CO, I had to go to the social security office one day, and then they required me to wait 24 hours before going to the DMV. I went to SS and waited by the door before they open to be the first one in. Also hate to say it, but I went to one in a fancier area as the main patrons there were senior citizens who had appointments (SS appointments get booked about 3 months out around here) versus everyone else who needed to get something done quickly (like me). I saw one teenager there, and then another girl doing a name change. Rest were seniors.

For the DMV, they let me make an appointment online that saved A TON of time. Ended up only taking about an hour and a half including drive time to get there because I had an appointment. Longest wait was to get my picture taken since I had to get in line w/ everyone else.

Then once all that was done I took my new ID and went and started doing the rest of the changes. I found it helpful to scan a copy of the marriage license, my new DL, and my new SS card and keep it on my computer (not the most secure, I know...), because everywhere has so many different requirements for documentation. One of my student loans just let me upload the required documents via a secure portal on their site, but my car loan required me to fax in the paperwork.

Speaking of my car, my county wouldn't change the registration until I did the loan. So I had to do the loan, then wait for a letter in the mail saying it was done, and now I have to take that letter down to the registration office to get the registration changed. Haven't done that yet.

There were also a few things I sort of forgot about until it became a problem. For example, the auto pays that come from the account where I changed the name, stopped working. So I had to go back in and change my name for even dumb stuff, like our milk delivery, or for the highway toll company. I keep a running google doc of everything I need to change it on so I can "write" it down when I think about it even if I don't have time to do it right then and there. I still have to do one of my bank accounts, and am working on all my professional licensing. Also need to do airlines.

madamerwin · December 2015

littlemushroom said:

Slightly tangential question: Do other states not make you make this decision when applying for a marriage certificate? I filled out my "name after marriage" when I was applying and it was typed into my marriage certificate. That was the only name the SS office would accept. It was accidentally wrong in one place on my original marriage certificate and the SS office wouldn't change my name without the full certificate being correct.
Not in IL. There is no place for after marriage name when you apply for the marriage license or on the license itself.

SIB

That's really interesting! Follow-up question: If your marriage license doesn't even have a spot for it, how does the SS office know you're not just making up a random, brand new last name that isn't your maiden name or spouse's name?

@Julieanne912 that's a good point. Didn't even occur to me that some states wouldn't let you do both on one day! I actually learned when I went to the DMV that I could have gone there before I even went to the SS office - all they want to see is your marriage license (since in OR it has your new name on it).

madamerwin · December 2015

luckya23 said:

anjemon said:

Slightly tangential question: Do other states not make you make this decision when applying for a marriage certificate? I filled out my "name after marriage" when I was applying and it was typed into my marriage certificate. That was the only name the SS office would accept. It was accidentally wrong in one place on my original marriage certificate and the SS office wouldn't change my name without the full certificate being correct.

I filled that out on my certificate in NY, but since it was the same, I don't know if that's the only thing I could have used. I do know that up until recently you couldn't just change your middle name with a marriage certificate either, you had to do a legal name change with a judge. I think that just changed, though - as it's clearly a huge waste of the court's time!

So, when you get married you can't change your middle name to your maiden name? I had, like, 20 legal options when we applied for the license... You can keep your middle name and add your maiden as a second middle name + take spouse's last name, keep your last name but add your spouse's last name as a second last name, hyphenate both, use your spouse's last name as your new middle name, etc. Basically any combination of your maiden name and/or spouse's last name, keeping or removing middle name, having two middle names, or having two last names is accepted.

luckya23 · December 2015

madamerwin said:

luckya23 said:

anjemon said:

Slightly tangential question: Do other states not make you make this decision when applying for a marriage certificate? I filled out my "name after marriage" when I was applying and it was typed into my marriage certificate. That was the only name the SS office would accept. It was accidentally wrong in one place on my original marriage certificate and the SS office wouldn't change my name without the full certificate being correct.

I filled that out on my certificate in NY, but since it was the same, I don't know if that's the only thing I could have used. I do know that up until recently you couldn't just change your middle name with a marriage certificate either, you had to do a legal name change with a judge. I think that just changed, though - as it's clearly a huge waste of the court's time!

So, when you get married you can't change your middle name to your maiden name? I had, like, 20 legal options when we applied for the license... You can keep your middle name and add your maiden as a second middle name + take spouse's last name, keep your last name but add your spouse's last name as a second last name, hyphenate both, use your spouse's last name as your new middle name, etc. Basically any combination of your maiden name and/or spouse's last name, keeping or removing middle name, having two middle names, or having two last names is accepted.

I found out that it was complicated when I was previously engaged in 2007. I guess it was a DMV policy here until 2014 according to this article.

http://assembly.state.ny.us/mem/David-Buchwald/story/56498/

huskypuppy14 · December 2015

madamerwin said:

littlemushroom said:

Slightly tangential question: Do other states not make you make this decision when applying for a marriage certificate? I filled out my "name after marriage" when I was applying and it was typed into my marriage certificate. That was the only name the SS office would accept. It was accidentally wrong in one place on my original marriage certificate and the SS office wouldn't change my name without the full certificate being correct.
Not in IL. There is no place for after marriage name when you apply for the marriage license or on the license itself.

SIB

That's really interesting! Follow-up question: If your marriage license doesn't even have a spot for it, how does the SS office know you're not just making up a random, brand new last name that isn't your maiden name or spouse's name?

@Julieanne912 that's a good point. Didn't even occur to me that some states wouldn't let you do both on one day! I actually learned when I went to the DMV that I could have gone there before I even went to the SS office - all they want to see is your marriage license (since in OR it has your new name on it).

I think to change your name with only the marriage license, it has to be one of your two names or a combination (hypenated for example). You have to put Party A and Party B names on the license, so it's obvious to ss that you are using one of those names. I'm not really understanding your question.

I think you might have to go through a legal name change if you aren't using one of you or your spouses current last names. Also, some states only allow the woman to change her name, not the man. If the man wants to change his name he has to go through a legal name change. (My state allows either party to change their name, but they were also the first state to allow gay marriage).

In Mass you put what your married name will be (I kept my name, so it was the same as my current name) but I think I can always change it if I wanted to as long as I change it to my husband's name.

NavyBlue143 · December 2015

Benefit to keeping mine was no hassle. I still get called Mrs. Hlastname socially sometimes, or at the bank or grocery store. Haven't had any issues with people believing I'm his wife.

charlotte989875 · December 2015

So much depends on the state. In NC didn't have to put a married name on the certificate and I had a ton of options on what I wanted my name to be. I just took my certificate said I wanted my maiden name as a second middle name (I have a career under that name so I use it professionally) and make Hs last name my new last name. Easy. I went right to DMV and they changed it, but I had to wait 24 (and go to a different office) to change the car registration. For backs, CCs, work I'd wait until you get the new license.

photokitty · December 2015

In Ohio there is currently no time limit to change your name with a marriage certificate. This is not the case in all states. So far I have not wanted to change my name. There is a slight possibility I would when we have kids, but probably not. I struggle with the notion that who I've been for a third of my lifetime ceases to exist, that's why I haven't changed my name. Once you change it, you have to go through a legal process or divorce to change it again.

emmaaa · December 2015

It will vary by where you live. The best way to start is by going to your state's DMV website or Social Security website and look at your state. This will tell you what you have to do first.

In NC, you have to go to the SS office with your marriage license and current driver's license and change your name there first. Then you have to wait 24 hours for your name change at SS to show up at the DMV. Once you change your name at the SS office and DMV, your new IDs will be mailed to you then you can go change it at your bank, work, etc. For the most part, I could change my name on accounts such as TV and phone over the phone or email a copy of my new license.

I don't have a passport yet so I didn't have to worry about that.

As far as I'm concerned, even if you hyphenate your name, you should change it on all accounts and IDs so that it all matches, JIC. FWIW, I just changed my name at the bank last Friday and it's been almost a year and I still haven't changed it on our DirecTV account. I also completely changed my last name and dropped my maiden name.

cgss11 · December 2015

I agree with the others on the steps.

I didn't find it to be a difficult process, and was surprised how easy it was for a few things (one credit card I could do over the phone). Definitely scan the license and your new id when you get it and keep it on your computer.

A few things I haven't changed yet (store rewards type things), but the major stuff didn't take long. I still need to switch my email over, that seems like the biggest deal to me, I'm just so used to my email and Its the username for soo many sites, so it seems annoying. But I know down the road, I won't want firstinitialmaidename as an email because people won't know me as that. I made a new email, just haven't started using it.

anjemon · December 2015

This is so interesting to me. In MN I think both of us could change our name to anything we wanted, but it had to be on our marriage license application.

When the mistake was discovered on our marriage certificate about a month after the wedding, I took it back to the service center to get it fixed. They said if it was their mistake they would fix it, but if it was my mistake on the application I would have to go through the legal name change process to change my name. So a month after the wedding I would have to go through the entire legal name change process if I wanted to take my husband's last name (which was all I was trying to do, take his last name). I wonder why some states are so much more strict.

InLoveInQueens · December 2015

I got married on a Friday and had all my name change documents done that following Monday (one of the perks of a City Hall wedding, we got our certificate immediately) it was super quick (I spent a total of ~2 hours waiting at the SSA and DMV and once I got called at both I was done in 5 minutes) and hassle-free. I've been slowly updating everything else as I go, like my bank information and my credit cards and subscription services.

Where I am (NY) you can both change your name and it has to be on the certificate. You can change it to either one name one party has or an amalgamation of both names, no new names allowed sadly (we brainstormed some new names we'd go with but our mash-up name sounded ridiculous so we scrapped that idea). And the SSA updates their records immediately so I made a DMV appointment as soon as I left the SSA and got my new license the same day.

The one major thing I have left to do is my passport, but we're taking a bit of a delayed honeymoon so I'm going to be doing that by January (and my husband has never had a passport, so we're getting them together).

TNDancer · December 2015

cgss11 said:

I agree with the others on the steps. I didn't find it to be a difficult process, and was surprised how easy it was for a few things (one credit card I could do over the phone). Definitely scan the license and your new id when you get it and keep it on your computer. A few things I haven't changed yet (store rewards type things), but the major stuff didn't take long. I still need to switch my email over, that seems like the biggest deal to me, I'm just so used to my email and Its the username for soo many sites, so it seems annoying. But I know down the road, I won't want firstinitialmaidename as an email because people won't know me as that. I made a new email, just haven't started using it.

Yes. This freaked me out so much that they just believed me and asked for no proof.

madamerwin · December 2015

cgss11 said:

I agree with the others on the steps. I didn't find it to be a difficult process, and was surprised how easy it was for a few things (one credit card I could do over the phone). Definitely scan the license and your new id when you get it and keep it on your computer. A few things I haven't changed yet (store rewards type things), but the major stuff didn't take long. I still need to switch my email over, that seems like the biggest deal to me, I'm just so used to my email and Its the username for soo many sites, so it seems annoying. But I know down the road, I won't want firstinitialmaidename as an email because people won't know me as that. I made a new email, just haven't started using it.

I refuse to change my email address because it's such a pain in the ass. I have two accounts I regularly use, both of which are variations of firstnamemaidenname@domain. One is for junk mail and bills, the other is personal, and I have had them for well over ten years. Since my maiden name is now my middle name, I figure it's close enough. Plus, I changed my "from" name to First Maiden LastName, so it's not like people won't know who I am when I email them. And I have a unique first name, and I'm probably the only person with my name that most people know.

Which leads me to a question: How many of you all did choose to change your email address, and was the hassle worth it? I just don't see the benefits of changing it as worth having to update it everywhere and potentially miss emails or bills I forgot to change.

thisismynickname2 · December 2015

madamerwin said:

cgss11 said:

I agree with the others on the steps. I didn't find it to be a difficult process, and was surprised how easy it was for a few things (one credit card I could do over the phone). Definitely scan the license and your new id when you get it and keep it on your computer. A few things I haven't changed yet (store rewards type things), but the major stuff didn't take long. I still need to switch my email over, that seems like the biggest deal to me, I'm just so used to my email and Its the username for soo many sites, so it seems annoying. But I know down the road, I won't want firstinitialmaidename as an email because people won't know me as that. I made a new email, just haven't started using it.

I refuse to change my email address because it's such a pain in the ass. I have two accounts I regularly use, both of which are variations of firstnamemaidenname@domain. One is for junk mail and bills, the other is personal, and I have had them for well over ten years. Since my maiden name is now my middle name, I figure it's close enough. Plus, I changed my "from" name to First Maiden LastName, so it's not like people won't know who I am when I email them. And I have a unique first name, and I'm probably the only person with my name that most people know.

Which leads me to a question: How many of you all did choose to change your email address, and was the hassle worth it? I just don't see the benefits of changing it as worth having to update it everywhere and potentially miss emails or bills I forgot to change.

I had a non-named e-mail account for newsletters, shopping coupons, etc, so didn't have to change it. I created a new name-based e-mail, and set the out of office on my original e-mail to something like "this account is no longer in use; please e-mail such and such." I also set up auto-forwarding. Then, when things come through that are autoforwarded, I go to that site and change the e-mail.

Also! I've never changed any of my usernames. Too much hassle and usernames are too ingrained in my brain.

madamerwin · December 2015

thisismynickname said:

madamerwin said:

cgss11 said:

I agree with the others on the steps. I didn't find it to be a difficult process, and was surprised how easy it was for a few things (one credit card I could do over the phone). Definitely scan the license and your new id when you get it and keep it on your computer. A few things I haven't changed yet (store rewards type things), but the major stuff didn't take long. I still need to switch my email over, that seems like the biggest deal to me, I'm just so used to my email and Its the username for soo many sites, so it seems annoying. But I know down the road, I won't want firstinitialmaidename as an email because people won't know me as that. I made a new email, just haven't started using it.

I refuse to change my email address because it's such a pain in the ass. I have two accounts I regularly use, both of which are variations of firstnamemaidenname@domain. One is for junk mail and bills, the other is personal, and I have had them for well over ten years. Since my maiden name is now my middle name, I figure it's close enough. Plus, I changed my "from" name to First Maiden LastName, so it's not like people won't know who I am when I email them. And I have a unique first name, and I'm probably the only person with my name that most people know.

Which leads me to a question: How many of you all did choose to change your email address, and was the hassle worth it? I just don't see the benefits of changing it as worth having to update it everywhere and potentially miss emails or bills I forgot to change.

I had a non-named e-mail account for newsletters, shopping coupons, etc, so didn't have to change it. I created a new name-based e-mail, and set the out of office on my original e-mail to something like "this account is no longer in use; please e-mail such and such." I also set up auto-forwarding. Then, when things come through that are autoforwarded, I go to that site and change the e-mail.

Also! I've never changed any of my usernames. Too much hassle and usernames are too ingrained in my brain.

That is smart - can you do that in Gmail? I was under the impression that you cannot set up auto-responders/forwarding on free Gmail accounts, but then again I didn't really look into it.

I DID have to update my work email, but they set it up so that my old account just forwards everything to my new account, so it wasn't an issue at all. Plus I rarely get emails from people outside the office that are not spam anyway.

thisismynickname2 · December 2015

madamerwin yes that was Gmail! Definitely my free accounts.

julieanne912 · December 2015

I'm not changing my personal Gmail account... I've had it for 11 years (I got it right after Gmail came out).

But yes my work one changed. Thankfully I just started this job in June so it wasn't too much of a hassle to change (except for our poor IT guy who had to redo all my profiles, logins, etc). My old one forwards to the new one automatically.

lyndausvi · December 2015

I've had the same email since 1998. It's my first and maiden name. I never changed. Nor did I see the need. Sure work emails for the most part are people names. I find personal ones often are not. So who cares my personal email has my maiden name, but I have a different last name.

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