I read your post and it reminded me of a wedding I was in a year ago. My bride was my boyfriend's sister and both Bride and MOB piled on the work. I ended up being the only one addressing shower invitations, was required to go to cosmetic parties and buy the products, go with the bride and MOB to pick up bridesmaid gifts, pay for shower gift handouts, help set up and clean it, and was told that it was my "job as a bridemaid." I got wonderful advice here to step down and decided not to.
I should have listened, but I didn't.
A year later and the trainwreck wedding is passed, the couple still can't stand each other (they pretty much ignored each other the whole day), but they have a newborn now. Since then I've been roped into painting the nursery, and doing tons of work at the baby shower (passing, and organizing gifts, and handing out food) because "it's not a wedding, but the bridesmaids are going to be helping with the baby shower." And all I've gotten was the return gift of none of my presents to them being good enough for their child, and the fact she chose my boyfriend to be the child's godfather (but not me as the godmother) being rubbed in my face by both her and the MOB constantly.
I'm so glad you got out! Don't feel bad about dropping out, you don't need to deal with that crap. Whatever backlash you can get won't be as bad as getting roped into doing more things for her, or dealing with whatever else would be coming your way.
Keep us updated, this is getting good!
But why are you still putting up with all this shit?
I read your post and it reminded me of a wedding I was in a year ago. My bride was my boyfriend's sister and both Bride and MOB piled on the work. I ended up being the only one addressing shower invitations, was required to go to cosmetic parties and buy the products, go with the bride and MOB to pick up bridesmaid gifts, pay for shower gift handouts, help set up and clean it, and was told that it was my "job as a bridemaid." I got wonderful advice here to step down and decided not to.
I should have listened, but I didn't.
A year later and the trainwreck wedding is passed, the couple still can't stand each other (they pretty much ignored each other the whole day), but they have a newborn now. Since then I've been roped into painting the nursery, and doing tons of work at the baby shower (passing, and organizing gifts, and handing out food) because "it's not a wedding, but the bridesmaids are going to be helping with the baby shower." And all I've gotten was the return gift of none of my presents to them being good enough for their child, and the fact she chose my boyfriend to be the child's godfather (but not me as the godmother) being rubbed in my face by both her and the MOB constantly.
I'm so glad you got out! Don't feel bad about dropping out, you don't need to deal with that crap. Whatever backlash you can get won't be as bad as getting roped into doing more things for her, or dealing with whatever else would be coming your way.
Keep us updated, this is getting good!
But why are you still putting up with all this shit?
I agree, this question needs to be asked. Eventually you have to accept that you're part of the problem if you can't say "no".
I read your post and it reminded me of a wedding I was in a year ago. My bride was my boyfriend's sister and both Bride and MOB piled on the work. I ended up being the only one addressing shower invitations, was required to go to cosmetic parties and buy the products, go with the bride and MOB to pick up bridesmaid gifts, pay for shower gift handouts, help set up and clean it, and was told that it was my "job as a bridemaid." I got wonderful advice here to step down and decided not to.
I should have listened, but I didn't.
A year later and the trainwreck wedding is passed, the couple still can't stand each other (they pretty much ignored each other the whole day), but they have a newborn now. Since then I've been roped into painting the nursery, and doing tons of work at the baby shower (passing, and organizing gifts, and handing out food) because "it's not a wedding, but the bridesmaids are going to be helping with the baby shower." And all I've gotten was the return gift of none of my presents to them being good enough for their child, and the fact she chose my boyfriend to be the child's godfather (but not me as the godmother) being rubbed in my face by both her and the MOB constantly.
I'm so glad you got out! Don't feel bad about dropping out, you don't need to deal with that crap. Whatever backlash you can get won't be as bad as getting roped into doing more things for her, or dealing with whatever else would be coming your way.
Keep us updated, this is getting good!
You're letting this happen to you. Say no. Grow a backbone. Refuse to do anymore. And if they are treating poorly, and your BF isn't saying anything, then you have bigger problems.
I also can't get over the fact that apparently to these people, being a BM is a lifelong commitment of work. Holy shit.
I read your post and it reminded me of a wedding I was in a year ago. My bride was my boyfriend's sister and both Bride and MOB piled on the work. I ended up being the only one addressing shower invitations, was required to go to cosmetic parties and buy the products, go with the bride and MOB to pick up bridesmaid gifts, pay for shower gift handouts, help set up and clean it, and was told that it was my "job as a bridemaid." I got wonderful advice here to step down and decided not to.
I should have listened, but I didn't.
A year later and the trainwreck wedding is passed, the couple still can't stand each other (they pretty much ignored each other the whole day), but they have a newborn now. Since then I've been roped into painting the nursery, and doing tons of work at the baby shower (passing, and organizing gifts, and handing out food) because "it's not a wedding, but the bridesmaids are going to be helping with the baby shower." And all I've gotten was the return gift of none of my presents to them being good enough for their child, and the fact she chose my boyfriend to be the child's godfather (but not me as the godmother) being rubbed in my face by both her and the MOB constantly.
I'm so glad you got out! Don't feel bad about dropping out, you don't need to deal with that crap. Whatever backlash you can get won't be as bad as getting roped into doing more things for her, or dealing with whatever else would be coming your way.
I read your post and it reminded me of a wedding I was in a year ago. My bride was my boyfriend's sister and both Bride and MOB piled on the work. I ended up being the only one addressing shower invitations, was required to go to cosmetic parties and buy the products, go with the bride and MOB to pick up bridesmaid gifts, pay for shower gift handouts, help set up and clean it, and was told that it was my "job as a bridemaid." I got wonderful advice here to step down and decided not to.
I should have listened, but I didn't.
A year later and the trainwreck wedding is passed, the couple still can't stand each other (they pretty much ignored each other the whole day), but they have a newborn now. Since then I've been roped into painting the nursery, and doing tons of work at the baby shower (passing, and organizing gifts, and handing out food) because "it's not a wedding, but the bridesmaids are going to be helping with the baby shower." And all I've gotten was the return gift of none of my presents to them being good enough for their child, and the fact she chose my boyfriend to be the child's godfather (but not me as the godmother) being rubbed in my face by both her and the MOB constantly.
I'm so glad you got out! Don't feel bad about dropping out, you don't need to deal with that crap. Whatever backlash you can get won't be as bad as getting roped into doing more things for her, or dealing with whatever else would be coming your way.
Keep us updated, this is getting good!
And just when bridesmaids everywhere thought their "duties" ended after the wedding, lol.
I finally sent my RSVP for 2 She actually messaged me yesterday to ask if I sent my RSVP yet because they are due and she wants to settle the invoice for the food this weekend. I politely told her that the RSVP was due on March 31st and if she wanted to have the bill settled the last weekend of March she should have put the RSVP deadline March 29 or sooner. She then went into a tangent of how the postal service lost so many invitations and RSVP cards. I personally think it has to do with the lack of stamps. LOL! She also ranted on social media how people are "talking shit" about her wedding and how she doesn't find it fair that there is so much DRAMA. Most of which she creates by posting everything. T minus 52 days :O
I finally sent my RSVP for 2 She actually messaged me yesterday to ask if I sent my RSVP yet because they are due and she wants to settle the invoice for the food this weekend. I politely told her that the RSVP was due on March 31st and if she wanted to have the bill settled the last weekend of March she should have put the RSVP deadline March 29 or sooner. She then went into a tangent of how the postal service lost so many invitations and RSVP cards. I personally think it has to do with the lack of stamps. LOL! She also ranted on social media how people are "talking shit" about her wedding and how she doesn't find it fair that there is so much DRAMA. Most of which she creates by posting everything. T minus 52 days :O
T minus 52 days, but RSVPs are due tomorrow? God. This just keeps getting better.
I finally sent my RSVP for 2 She actually messaged me yesterday to ask if I sent my RSVP yet because they are due and she wants to settle the invoice for the food this weekend. I politely told her that the RSVP was due on March 31st and if she wanted to have the bill settled the last weekend of March she should have put the RSVP deadline March 29 or sooner. She then went into a tangent of how the postal service lost so many invitations and RSVP cards. I personally think it has to do with the lack of stamps. LOL! She also ranted on social media how people are "talking shit" about her wedding and how she doesn't find it fair that there is so much DRAMA. Most of which she creates by posting everything. T minus 52 days :O
T minus 52 days, but RSVPs are due tomorrow? God. This just keeps getting better.
I finally sent my RSVP for 2 She actually messaged me yesterday to ask if I sent my RSVP yet because they are due and she wants to settle the invoice for the food this weekend. I politely told her that the RSVP was due on March 31st and if she wanted to have the bill settled the last weekend of March she should have put the RSVP deadline March 29 or sooner. She then went into a tangent of how the postal service lost so many invitations and RSVP cards. I personally think it has to do with the lack of stamps. LOL! She also ranted on social media how people are "talking shit" about her wedding and how she doesn't find it fair that there is so much DRAMA. Most of which she creates by posting everything. T minus 52 days :O
T minus 52 days, but RSVPs are due tomorrow? God. This just keeps getting better.
Because this bride has some real insanity going on, I do have to ask for clarification. Did you mean to say she is having a buffet versus a plated dinner? It would not surprise me that she planned on having guests stand to eat.
What are the odds this bride is requesting buffet service for 100 yet inviting more guests than that? I'd make sure I'm at the front of the line when this dinner bell rings!
Sorry, that's exactly what I meant. She is having a buffet style dinner at a Legion, that can only accommodate 100 people max. I can almost guarantee it is going to be over capacity and cramped.
Sorry, that's exactly what I meant. She is having a buffet style dinner at a Legion, that can only accommodate 100 people max. I can almost guarantee it is going to be over capacity and cramped.
Wait? Is this going to be a Cash Bar? Anything I've ever been to at a Legion Hall is Cash Bar, I don't think they do Open Bar events.
Sorry, that's exactly what I meant. She is having a buffet style dinner at a Legion, that can only accommodate 100 people max. I can almost guarantee it is going to be over capacity and cramped.
It gets even better! And by better I mean worse. Much worse.
Sorry, that's exactly what I meant. She is having a buffet style dinner at a Legion, that can only accommodate 100 people max. I can almost guarantee it is going to be over capacity and cramped.
And what happens if/when the local fire department gets wind that it's over capacity? Shit's gonna get shut down.
I think I forgot to mention the fact that the future MIL really wanted to purchase wine for the tables but only wanted to purchase it for the grooms side of the family as a wedding gift. Seems a little ridiculous to me. I am honestly not sure how all that DRAMA turned out.
I think I forgot to mention the fact that the future MIL really wanted to purchase wine for the tables but only wanted to purchase it for the grooms side of the family as a wedding gift. Seems a little ridiculous to me. I am honestly not sure how all that DRAMA turned out.
I think I forgot to mention the fact that the future MIL really wanted to purchase wine for the tables but only wanted to purchase it for the grooms side of the family as a wedding gift. Seems a little ridiculous to me. I am honestly not sure how all that DRAMA turned out.
Please, never stop posting. That is way more than a little ridiculous, how awful will that look!
Not Brad. It is a cash bar but the bride and groom paid for the wine that will be on the tables. I think she said it will only be a bottle of red and a bottle of wine at each table. That's going to be interesting. Everyone I know drinks red. I also avoided more drama, and found out what table I am very pleased she didn't stick me with her witch of a MIL.
Not Brad. It is a cash bar but the bride and groom paid for the wine that will be on the tables. I think she said it will only be a bottle of red and a bottle of wine at each table. That's going to be interesting. Everyone I know drinks red. I also avoided more drama, and found out what table I am very pleased she didn't stick me with her witch of a MIL.
Not Brad. It is a cash bar but the bride and groom paid for the wine that will be on the tables. I think she said it will only be a bottle of red and a bottle of wine at each table. That's going to be interesting. Everyone I know drinks red. I also avoided more drama, and found out what table I am very pleased she didn't stick me with her witch of a MIL.
So she intends to run out of alcohol before dinner is over. Did she at least spring for magnums or are these 750 ml bottles to be shared by a table?
Not Brad. It is a cash bar but the bride and groom paid for the wine that will be on the tables. I think she said it will only be a bottle of red and a bottle of wine at each table. That's going to be interesting. Everyone I know drinks red. I also avoided more drama, and found out what table I am very pleased she didn't stick me with her witch of a MIL.
Maybe you can barter with another table and switch your bottle of white for a bottle of red! Then your table has 2 bottles of red!
Re: Bridesmaids financial responsibilities
But why are you still putting up with all this shit?
What are the odds this bride is requesting buffet service for 100 yet inviting more guests than that? I'd make sure I'm at the front of the line when this dinner bell rings!
Sorry, that's exactly what I meant. She is having a buffet style dinner at a Legion, that can only accommodate 100 people max. I can almost guarantee it is going to be over capacity and cramped.
This just gets juicier and juicier.
I think I forgot to mention the fact that the future MIL really wanted to purchase wine for the tables but only wanted to purchase it for the grooms side of the family as a wedding gift. Seems a little ridiculous to me. I am honestly not sure how all that DRAMA turned out.
Is the groom's name Brad?
Maybe you can barter with another table and switch your bottle of white for a bottle of red! Then your table has 2 bottles of red!