Etiquette

Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you

Okay, get a grip for a second here and think about it.

Lack of validation =/= snarky and rude.  Holy hell in a handbasket people.  We don't validate bad ideas.  We are blunt and to the point.  We will tell you when you are being rude and when you are breaking etiquette.  This is the ETIQUETTE board. 

Your situation is not different (except for the girl who's church burnt down the week of her wedding.  She gets a pass) than the millions of other girls here who think they are special. 

If you don't want opinions and the correct etiquette responses, then why the hell are you posting questions on an etiquette board?

We don't know you when you post.  All we know is what you tell us, so that's how we're responding and what we're resonding to.  If you want to give us more information, we will happily respond to that as well.

We are here because we want you to not embarass yourself and to still have friends when your "special all about me day" is over and done with.  Yes, it's your wedding.  Ultimately you can do what you want, but internet strangers are here to tell you how to save face and how to do it the right way.  Maybe you should listen instead of freaking out and telling us that we're so rude because you didn't get the answer that you were hoping for. 

Thanks.

Carry on and good luck planning your wedding. 
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Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you

  • Can I get an amen?!  Please, mods, make this a sticky!

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  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    Can I get an amen?!  Please, mods, make this a sticky!
    Posted by daveANDkristen
    AMEN!
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  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    Can I get an amen?!  Please, mods, make this a sticky!
    Posted by daveANDkristen
    Please no
  • Fact: no one reads stickies. 
  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    Can I get an amen?!  Please, mods, make this a sticky!
    Posted by daveANDkristen
    Why?  If people read the sticky that's there now we wouldn't get half the inane questions on a daily basis.
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    "Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
    But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.

    Way cooler." - anna.oskar
  • Fact:  Something like this gets posted often, but I'm out of patience today and felt like venting about idiots.  No sticky required.  It shall get lost amongst the others. 
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  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    Fact: no one reads stickies. 
    Posted by annakb8
    Word.

  • This can't be made a sticky.  While I can understand Habs' frustration (it does seem like we have a lot of entitlement around here lately), a lot of times new brides come here and make a honest, if inconsiderate, mistake.  I'm pretty sure 90% of Knotties can look back on their early days and think about one or two things they wish they hadn't said.  I know I can.
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  • Nope I'm perfect Bay Innocent
  • Well that's why I said 90%, Birdie.  OBVIOUSLY you are one of the 10% :D
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  • Of course you're perfect Bird, that was a given. 
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  • You guys do come off harsh sometimes, but in the end the honest opinion is really what we're all looking for....even if we don't want to hear it.  Thanks for not being afraid to give it, like so many of our friends and family are.

    Sincerely,
    Newbie Bride with previous knot.com mistakes
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  • You know what I don't get (maybe start an "I don't get" thread), how so many people can have friendships change so quickly.

    I did ask my bridesmaids over a year in advance.  I had also been friends with all of them for a minimum of 10 years.  I knew that nothing would change in the next 14 months.  I wasn't worried.

    And then the girl with the college friends that she doesn't want to invite anymore.  It just seems so immature.  Don't send out STD's to people that you aren't sure about.  For the people on our invite list, I couldn't have imagined our relationship changing that drastically between STD and invites.  I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it all seems so silly.

    /end rant.
  • Thanks K!  Cute picture!
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  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    You guys do come off harsh sometimes, but in the end the honest opinion is really what we're all looking for....even if we don't want to hear it.  Thanks for not being afraid to give it, like so many of our friends and family are. Sincerely, Newbie Bride with previous knot.com mistakes
    Posted by kwilliams111012
    You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.  You can stay.

    (plus you and your fiance are adorable in that picture!)

    Laughing
  • KWill, you and your fellow are pretty. 

  • There was only one person that I considered removing from our invitation list (pre-STDs).  And that was my ex-roommate who I found out told a whole bunch of people that I was "taking crazy pills" (his words for anti-anxiety medication). 

    H convinced me to invite him solely because he's friends (and now coworkers) with his boyfriend.  I ended up barely noticing him at the wedding, except for a few seconds when he was trying to breakdance and fell on his ass on the dance floor.  That was kind of hilarious.
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  • Yay, Validation!  Exactly what I wanted.  KIDDING =)  Hehehe
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  • MP, I knew the relationship with my BM's wouldn't change, but there were some friends on our original invite list that were no longer as good of friends by the time the wedding rolled around. I anticipated this though, so I didn't send everyone a STD. I was easily able to remove them from the final list.

    Oh and I did see the whole bride/BM friendship explode with my SIL and her friend. It wasn't pretty. SIL was supposed to be a BM for the girl and they had a huge blow up and no longer speak.
  • Hey, there's plenty of validation for sense around here.

  • Not that I don't agree with Habs, but here's my Knot confession:  posts like this annoy me.  They just sound so self-sanctimonious.

    But, carry on.
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  • I think it really depends on what age you are sometimes, as relationships and friendships can be more volatile at a younger age, especially during the college age where things are changing so frequently for individuals.  I know I did most of my growing up during college.  I got married at 26 (well, 26/27 since my birthday was at midnight) and by then, I felt like I was grown up and I had a better grasp on who my true friends were and who were fly by the seat of their pants friends.  But it's really an individual thing.

    However, it's a damn good reason not to send STDs (my fav wedding acronym by the way) to people other than family and to not send your invitations out super early. 
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  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    Not that I don't agree with Habs, but here's my Knot confession:  posts like this annoy me.  They just sound so self-sanctimonious. But, carry on.
    Posted by dumdumfroggie
    Hahaha.  Confession?  They annoy me too, but I'm in one of those moods (over-tired and PMSing anyone?) and I needed the vent.  So I'm annoying myself because others are annoying me.  Awesome. 
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  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you : Hahaha.  Confession?  They annoy me too, but I'm in one of those moods (over-tired and PMSing anyone?) and I needed the vent.  So I'm annoying myself because others are annoying me.  Awesome. 
    Posted by Habs2Hart
    Ha!  
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  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you : You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.  You can stay. (plus you and your fiance are adorable in that picture!)
    Posted by MattsPenguin
    I feel like E can forgive all manner of transgressions when they're followed by an admission of previous lack of sense plus a cute picture.
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  • I know it can't be/wouldn't make a difference if it was a sticky, I was being playful :)  But I was glad to see what Habs said.  FTR though, we have no way of knowing that no one heeds the advice in the FAQ sticky - anyone who really does read the sticky probably isn't posting these awful questions!

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  • I definitely think that it's an age thing.  And I understand.  There are people that you might be as good of friends with or might be better friends with by the time the wedding rolls around.  But I feel like you need to be aware of that and only send STD's to people that you KNOW you want to have there.


    Bird, that sucks for your SIL.  I understand that it happens and there can be good reasons for it, but I don't get it sometimes.
  • In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you:
    In Response to Re: Listen Up Newbie Brides - This one is for you : I feel like E can forgive all manner of transgressions when they're followed by an admission of previous lack of sense plus a cute picture.
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502
    And cookies!!

    Really, we're just all superficial biatches. Tongue out
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