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Introduction Post (just a little late!)


Re: Introduction Post (just a little late!)

  • Blackbird230Blackbird230 Connecticut member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    @lennonkdc, someone hasn't changed the law books in OH for awhile... That's crazy.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Oh, no, they changed it ten years ago to add the anti same sex marriage laws, part of the same statute and everything. OH needs to get its shit together... 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @audrewuh I don't care what kind of crazy we have here (finding out all these new things about Texas), that is a consent I will never be giving.  Nope!  

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • @twodimes It's a religious freedom thing. We love religious and we love freedom. 

    @doubless07 I will always be a proud Texan, even if half our shit is totally screwed up and weird. 

    Although, sometimes parents will sign over consent if it means financial independence for their child. 

    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • @audrewuh now I have "Jesus Loves me this I know..." stuck in my head. I blame you.
    5 BILLION points to @buddysmom80 for posting my favorite gif.
    OP you've brought about the triumphant return of Prince. I'm not sure that you should be proud of that.
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa

  • You're welcome @beanbot2002

    Just sing it to no-uh when he starts his next screaming fit. It'll really put you in a sane mindset. ;)

    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • @audrewuh, WHAT?! Why in the heck would a 14 want to be married?! And what kind of parent would allow that?!
    Well, there are always those polygamist sects who like their wives without boobs or pubes.
  • wiggsajwiggsaj member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2014
    Thank you for all of the encouraging words of wisdom! Sorry it took so long to respond, I usually only have time to go on during the weekend. Feel free to judge me as you wish, I've truly run out of energy to explain myself to every single person that asks me all the exact same questions you all have asked me. (Although the questions about me being 14 are new, considering I'm 17 and will be 18 before I'm married lol). And, frankly, I don't really care about how strangers feel about my decisions because at the end of the day, they are mine to make. If you have any genuine concerns or questions, you can ask them. But try to make them sarcasm-free and tone down the snide remarks so that I can sense the sincerity. I'd love to be part of this community, just like all of you, so I'm just hoping that this judgment does not continue past this post. Thanks yall and God bless :) 

    PS... Sorry about offending you all regarding the potatos... & as far as the literature question goes, I prefer to write. Reading limits the imagination while writing sets you free. Just my opinion :)
  • MoiramabMoiramab member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    OP: If you're getting tired of having to explain yourself, then perhaps the numerous amount of people questioning your decision have a point (clue: they do). This isn't the refuge you were hoping it could be, you can't post here and expect everyone to respond with "Oh hunny of *course* you're engaged!" just because it happens to be a wedding website.

    These women and men have an abundance of life experiences that they're speaking from. I'd venture to say that one of them is that you are no different at 18 then you are at 17, and however clichéd it is, we know that you will change soo much over the next ten years of your life. You may have more adult rights at 18 that you don't have right now and the one I strongly suggest you don't take advantage of is this one.

    For all we know, your fiance may be The One - and this is where we knotties have no say - but if he's The One now, then he'll still be yours when you're 28 and able to handle every other adult situation in your life. (Have you ever filed your own taxes? Handled your own bills and checking account? Taken out a loan?)

    My personal experience? Just because you've dated someone for a long time doesn't mean you should be with them forever.
  • wiggsajwiggsaj member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2014
    Okay. Lets see.

    Have I thought about life after the wedding? How will I afford it?
    Really? Yes. FI and I have been saving for a very long time and have a hefty savings account that we have stored up for emergencies. We also have very nice jobs that pay well and that will take care of the monthly bills. (We have a budget on paper that proves to be very comfortable). 

    Can we independently pay for everything?
    Yes. We offered to pay for the wedding as well, but my mother insisted that it was her responsibility to take care of that. Other than that, we are taking care of everything.

    Am I pregnant?
    I remember the days when it was politically incorrect to ask a question like that.

    Why am I in a rush?
    I'm not. 
    If you meant to ask why I want to get married now, I would explain that when you meet a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. I guess I don't see the point in waiting 10 years for something that would be better off happening sooner. :)
    If that answer is not good enough, I'm sure you will be satisfied when you ask yourself the same question, because I'm sure our answers are similar.

    Where would we be living?
    An apartment in Denver, Colorado.
    Is this a common question on this site?
    Do people normally post their address?
    I feel like that's a bit personal, no?

    How could I expect to have [polite] responses when I said I was 17 on a post?
    I suppose I just have faith in society.

    Will we be going to college?
    Yes. We are already in college, both opting to be teachers :) That's the big dream.

    Have I ever filed my own taxes? Handled my own bills and checking account? Taken out a loan?
    Yes, yes, yes, and no. Taking out a loan is seriously the worst financial decision a person could ever make. If I ever take out a loan it will be on my house. We both have cars that we don't owe payments to. (No, our parents don't pay for the payments on them, both cars are already paid for) I don't have a house yet.

    Was this a religious decision?
    I'm not religious, so no.
    But, if you're asking if we kept God in mind while making this decision, I would explain that we put God first in every decision we make in our relationship, so yes. Absolutely.

    Am I in high school?
    I'm in both college and high school. I'm part of what's called a CE Program which allows me to take both college and high school classes at the same time, and earn credit for both. It's different from Honors classes, which I'm sure most of you have heard of. The classes are very difficult but because they are in my intrest, I enjoy them (plus they're cheap! lol). It's a pretty new program. I'm sure that if you looked it up on google you could learn more about it.

    How can I be an effective writer if I don't read?
    I do read, but I prefer to write, which explains why I don't have a favorite novel.

    I think that's all the questions, but there were so many, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. 

    Quite honestly, If I had written all the exact same answers but instead of "17" I put "26" than none of you would have said a single thing about the fact that I don't read. Because you all know that I'm 17 years old, you assume automatically that I'm uneducated. I'm not the only person in the world who does not like to read. That says absolutely nothing about my education level. My opinions about reading are my own, and it's okay with me if you disagree.

    I'm sorry for those of you who were offended by the fact that I could not respond quickly enough. As I explained above, I am very busy and only have time to check The Knot on the weekends. The weekend after I created my post was a very busy weekend, so I didn't get an opportunity to check the Knot. I'm genuinely sorry if you're offended, but there is truly nothing I can do about the fact that I'm a busy person. I will do my best to find time in order to not offend you, but I can't promise anything.

    If you thought my above post had a defensive nature or tone, I also apologize. That's the problem with the internet: the reader has no idea what emotion I had in mind as I typed that, and is left to only assume. I had a completely content nature while typing that. I have no harsh feelings toward any of the people who commented, no matter how strange the questions were. Quite honestly, I've answered all of those questions so many times. I suppose I would rather have someone ask me about one of my interests, or virtually any other thing about me rather than immediantly jumping to the fact that I'm getting married younger than average. Call me crazy, but it's pretty offensive when people ask me if I'm pregnant every other day. If any of you had to answer the exact same very personal questions all the time, I'm sure you would grow tired of it as well. 

    This was just an introduction post. I hope that you can all find a way to look past my age and see me equally as human as you look at the rest of the posters. I hope after reading this you will be able to leave your assumptions and worries at the door and get to know me better. If not, I understand :) You don't need to click on my posts any further. I promise it wont make me cry lol.

    I can't want to get to know you all better! 
    Have a blessed day yall!
  • I HAVE A QUESTION. This could be where we are all butting heads!

    What does it take to have a happy marriage in your eyes?

    No snark, just honesty! Please :)
  • "You are SEVENTEEN. I don't know anyone, literally not one, single person, who doesn't look back at their 17 year old self and say I've changed so much since then. 

    And honestly, I think anyone who gets married at 17 or 18 is rushing. It might work out, it might not but it was still rushed and I don't understand the need to rush into a decision as huge as marriage. And saying you don't want to wait to start your lives together is a bullshit argument. You are living your lives together right now. You don't lose anything by waiting but you can give your marriage a much better chance by doing so. I'm sure every couple who gets married young thinks they are the ones who will beat the odds. But guess what, most don't! And there's plenty of reasons for that."

    SO MUCH THIS! @bethsmiles is spot on. You don't need to get married right now because you have so much ahead of you. We are not responding to your chronological age, we are responding to the fact that you act your age, so add "maturity"  onto @bethsmiles list. I am not saying that all seventeen year olds are immature, but you are definitely not coming off as the poster child for the exception to this rule, rather, you are acting like a speshul snowflake. 

    You are making a loose claim that we are agist. We had posters on here within your age range, and one specific incident comes to mind. She was eighteen, attending college (not just taking supplemental classes) and was getting married to her bf (who was significantly older than she was).  Like you, we focused on her age (also focused on her significant other's age) and instead of stamping her foot, she provided us with an incredibly mature, well thought out response. She gained our respect and we responded well to her after that. 

  • I'm just going to say this as a 38 y/o...if I had gotten married at 17, living with the same person my entire life, I most likely would have murdered him by now. I know people do it, and I don't get it. I changed so much during my twenties I don't know that the guy I chose at such a young age would fit with who I am today...well, in fact I know he wouldn't.
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Every single thing @bethsmiles said. All of it.

    No, we don't want to get to know you because 1) we don't care for speshul snowflakes and 2) how the fuck do you "get to know" someone who pops in once a month?

  • wiggsajwiggsaj member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2014
    So it takes a complete explination of each and every life decision to "gain" respect from all of you? 

    I didn't even want to answer your questions because I know that no matter what I would have said, you would have argued that I was being immature. I don't respond at all, I'm immature. I don't answer your questions because I don't care what you all have to say about my decisions when you don't know me, I'm immature. I try to answer your questions in the very most polite and respectable way I possibly can, I'm immature. I say I don't like to read, I'm immature. I say I love Jesus, I'm immature. I say that it's politically incorrect to ask a woman if she's pregnant, I'm immature. I say that I can't wait to get to know all of you, I'm immature.

    My family, my friends, my coworkers, my pastors, even my grandparents (who were married at 18 and just celebrated their 40th anniversary) are all blindly convinced that even though I'm a "speshul snowflake" (whatever that is) that my relationship is very healthy and they foresee it lasting forever. Literally the only issue that we could have due to our age would be finances, and because we've been saving for so long, we could put a heafty downpayment on a house. So finances are not an issue for us either. 

    Yes, we will change in our tewnties. And our thirties. And our fourties. But isn't the art of a relationship growing and changing together? I've changed more in the last three years of my life than I have changed ever sense I was a toddler, and all three of those years have been a dance between he and myself. We change and grow together through communication, sharing precious time, laughs, tears, and many kisses. Our relationship is based off of mutual respect, trust, and love of each other and Jesus. When we fight, we do not yell or scream, we discover. There is no hiding your feelings in our relationship. We think before we talk and we ALWAYS talk through everything. We go through premarital counseling and relationship classes. We know the statistics. We know the odds. More importantly than all of that, we love each other faithfully and endlessly, and we know that for a fact. 

    Why do I want to get married right now?
    When I look at my future, my past, and today, I couldn't be happier with the way it all looks. I can't picture myself traveling the world, going to school, or further discovering myself without my best friend beside me in the process. You all ask me, "why now" and I can't help but answer with "why wait?" They say that when you know, you just know. You guys, I'm so happy. I really am so happy. I know I've got so much to learn about being a bride and being a wife. Quite honestly, I'll probably never quite figure it out. But I can't wait to start that adventure with my beautiful soon to be husband. People have honestly told me that I should feel so lucky because I've found a man who loves me more than most people will ever be loved in their whole life, and that even more so, I've found him while I'm so young. This isn't like some little fling. This isn't one of those break-up-every-week-but-want-to-get-married-to-make-it-officail type of things. No, this is something very beautiful and special. 

    All of you that are trying to tell me that I should expect this type of behavior, you should be especially ashamed of yourselves. If we all met up and had coffee one day, none of you would even guess my age unless I told you. I'm a very honest young woman, so I'd tell you, but we could talk for hours before you'd know. I don't mean the way I look, because standing next to 17 year olds I look 17 while standing next to 22 year olds I look 22 (according to just about everyone who has met me). I mean that I'm not an ignorant child, but rather a very sensitive old soul. The people that have actually met me have all agreed. If any of you had an ounce of education in psychology, you'd know that the things you notice about other people are things you actually notice about yourself. Directly translated: I'm very sorry that you all feel insecure about yourselves or your relationships. I pray blessings over your current or future marriages. 

    That's my piece. If I had the time or the energy to tell you all the reasons I'm getting married than I would. However this is not my first rodeo and I'm not ignorant enough to believe that any of you would actually respect me after reading this. I know that your 2-10 years of life experience gives you all "wisdom" but the fact that I actually know me, and I know the situation in it's entirety gives me a leg up over any word of advice coming from someone who doesn't know anything about me other than my age and the fact that I don't like to read. I know some of you will quote me and type in some snide remarks about how "immature" or "wrong" I am, or about how something I said is "BS." Some of you will comment and explain how what I'm doing is stupid and I shouldn't go through with it because the odds are against me, or anyway they were against you when you were 17. Some of you wont even respond either due to the fact that you have no idea what you should say or because you wont be waisting your time with someone as immature as myself. I, on the other hand, will continue being "rude" and get back to my real human life. As you all know, it's Sunday and I'm not going to be back for another 5 days (or 12 years, as some of you like to exaggerate).

    While I'm gone, just remember that no matter what you say on this forum, I wont judge you as a human being, and I continue to anticipate the relationships I'll create with you. I'm sure that outside of this, you are all beautiful people who would never honestly think it's appropriate to treat a person this way. So, I will accept all of your snide remarks or completely rude comments as "congratulations on your engagement!" :)

    For that, thanks!

  • bride2b71614bride2b71614 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    Where did we call you immature for loving Jesus? No one said that during the course of this thread. Look, you are seventeen, we think you are making a poor decision, you don't, and thats fine. But do yourself a favor: don't come charging in here saying something along the lines of you guys are insecure within your relationships and marriages and that I'll be praying for you, then state how you're looking forward to becoming our friend. Your lashing out at us does little to make you look favorable here. I speak for myself when I say I have no desire to get to know you as a person. I wish you the best of luck, like @keptinstitches said, you're going to need it. 
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014
    My gif won't show up but pretty much I'm done with this thread and OP. I put a lot of thought and time into responding to you and you just brushed it all aside - not the way to get accepted on a message board.

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