Introduction Post (just a little late!)

Blackbird230 · March 2014

@lennonkdc, someone hasn't changed the law books in OH for awhile... That's crazy.

lennonkdc · March 2014

Oh, no, they changed it ten years ago to add the anti same sex marriage laws, part of the same statute and everything. OH needs to get its shit together...

doubleSS07 · April 2014

@audrewuh I don't care what kind of crazy we have here (finding out all these new things about Texas), that is a consent I will never be giving. Nope!

audrewuh · April 2014

@twodimes It's a religious freedom thing. We love religious and we love freedom.

@doubless07 I will always be a proud Texan, even if half our shit is totally screwed up and weird.

Although, sometimes parents will sign over consent if it means financial independence for their child.

beanbot2002 · April 2014

@audrewuh now I have "Jesus Loves me this I know..." stuck in my head. I blame you.
5 BILLION points to @buddysmom80 for posting my favorite gif.
OP you've brought about the triumphant return of Prince. I'm not sure that you should be proud of that.

audrewuh · April 2014

You're welcome @beanbot2002.

Just sing it to no-uh when he starts his next screaming fit. It'll really put you in a sane mindset.

Pepperally · April 2014

@audrewuh, WHAT?! Why in the heck would a 14 want to be married?! And what kind of parent would allow that?!

Well, there are always those polygamist sects who like their wives without boobs or pubes.

wiggsaj · April 2014

Thank you for all of the encouraging words of wisdom! Sorry it took so long to respond, I usually only have time to go on during the weekend. Feel free to judge me as you wish, I've truly run out of energy to explain myself to every single person that asks me all the exact same questions you all have asked me. (Although the questions about me being 14 are new, considering I'm 17 and will be 18 before I'm married lol). And, frankly, I don't really care about how strangers feel about my decisions because at the end of the day, they are mine to make. If you have any genuine concerns or questions, you can ask them. But try to make them sarcasm-free and tone down the snide remarks so that I can sense the sincerity. I'd love to be part of this community, just like all of you, so I'm just hoping that this judgment does not continue past this post. Thanks yall and God bless

PS... Sorry about offending you all regarding the potatos... & as far as the literature question goes, I prefer to write. Reading limits the imagination while writing sets you free. Just my opinion

bethsmiles · April 2014

wiggsaj said:

Thank you for all of the encouraging words of wisdom! Sorry it took so long to respond, I usually only have time to go on during the weekend. Feel free to judge me as you wish, I've truly run out of energy to explain myself to every single person that asks me all the exact same questions you all have asked me. (Although the questions about me being 14 are new, considering I'm 17 and will be 18 before I'm married lol). And, frankly, I don't really care about how strangers feel about my decisions because at the end of the day, they are mine to make. If you have any genuine concerns or questions, you can ask them. But try to make them sarcasm-free and tone down the snide remarks so that I can sense the sincerity. I'd love to be part of this community, just like all of you, so I'm just hoping that this judgment does not continue past this post. Thanks yall and God bless

PS... Sorry about offending you all regarding the potatos... & as far as the literature question goes, I prefer to write. Reading limits the imagination while writing sets you free. Just my opinion

First, starting a thread and then not coming back is pretty rude.

Second, if you don't want people's opinions then don't post shit on the internet. The ladies on here are some of the most genuine people I know. But if you aren't going to answer anyone's questions or address anyone's concerns you're going have a hard time being a part of this community.

Also, Reading limits the imagination? That's bullshit.

edited for clarity

KeptInStitches · April 2014

bethsmiles said:

wiggsaj said:

Thank you for all of the encouraging words of wisdom! Sorry it took so long to respond, I usually only have time to go on during the weekend. Feel free to judge me as you wish, I've truly run out of energy to explain myself to every single person that asks me all the exact same questions you all have asked me. (Although the questions about me being 14 are new, considering I'm 17 and will be 18 before I'm married lol). And, frankly, I don't really care about how strangers feel about my decisions because at the end of the day, they are mine to make. If you have any genuine concerns or questions, you can ask them. But try to make them sarcasm-free and tone down the snide remarks so that I can sense the sincerity. I'd love to be part of this community, just like all of you, so I'm just hoping that this judgment does not continue past this post. Thanks yall and God bless

PS... Sorry about offending you all regarding the potatos... & as far as the literature question goes, I prefer to write. Reading limits the imagination while writing sets you free. Just my opinion
First, starting a thread and then coming back is pretty rude.

Second, if you don't want people's opinions then don't post shit on the internet. The ladies on here are some of the most genuine people I know. But if you aren't going to answer anyone's questions or address anyone's concerns you're going have a hard time being a part of this community.

Also, Reading limits the imagination? That's bullshit.

This. Also, how can you be an effective writer if you don't read?

bride2b71614 · April 2014

First, we never asked about you being fourteen...we were talking about laws in TX and how you can be as young as fourteen to get married (that going over your head makes sense because you don't read).

Second, you ran off, and when you returned (almost two weeks later), you didn't even bother to respond to any of the questions we asked. You told us how we should respond to you in the future. Unfortunately thats not how this works. When you post things on a forum it is a free for all to respond to. Honestly, I was more perplexed as to why you'd want to get married this young than actually pay attention to your other information.

Third, if you want to be well liked on this board you should probably learn to laugh along with our sarcasm. Sarcasm is what makes this board fun, if you can't handle it, probably not the right board for you.

Last, why did you post here? If you didn't want us to respond to the scandalous fact that you are getting married so young, you probably should have left out the part that you were making a 28 year old's decision at the age of seventeen.

Swazzle · April 2014

wiggsaj said:

Thank you for all of the encouraging words of wisdom! Sorry it took so long to respond, I usually only have time to go on during the weekend. Feel free to judge me as you wish, I've truly run out of energy to explain myself to every single person that asks me all the exact same questions you all have asked me. (Although the questions about me being 14 are new, considering I'm 17 and will be 18 before I'm married lol). And, frankly, I don't really care about how strangers feel about my decisions because at the end of the day, they are mine to make. If you have any genuine concerns or questions, you can ask them. But try to make them sarcasm-free and tone down the snide remarks so that I can sense the sincerity. I'd love to be part of this community, just like all of you, so I'm just hoping that this judgment does not continue past this post. Thanks yall and God bless

PS... Sorry about offending you all regarding the potatos... & as far as the literature question goes, I prefer to write. Reading limits the imagination while writing sets you free. Just my opinion

To the first bolded, YUP.

And to the second:

poegirlsmores · April 2014

OP, I'm young too (20). Although I'm not getting married for anytime soon, I understand how you feel. I hate being judged based on my age alone. I feel like that only contributes to a very small part of my personality and responsibilities. However, in a public forum, when you choose to announce it, people have little else to go on. Then, the way you reacted did not speak well to your maturity and readiness for such a big step. I think it is possible that you are ready, but consider from everyone else's perspective for a second. You came on and advertised yourself as much younger than the typical bride. Some people asked very gently about it. You don't respond, giving the impression that you're ignoring those concerns. Then when you do return, rather than accepting criticism and respectfully disagreeing, you get very defensive. When they have nothing else to go on, this interaction doesn't speak highly of you. So, try to understand where everyone is coming from.

As for writing and not reading. You don't enjoy reading, that's fine. Lots of people don't. Realize though that most writers do enjoy it. It is a way to see what else is done in literature, what works for the audience, what doesn't. It is very hard to write something successful if you are unwilling to read the work of others. As both a writer and a reader, I would suggest changing your opinion. Reading doesn't limit your imagination any more than television, movies, video games, etc. So, if you wanna boycott all of those, be my guest, but reading is the one which limits your imagination the least. I disagree very strongly with your argument that "reading limits the imagination" because as far as media goes, it's the one that still allows your imagination some control.

Moiramab · April 2014

OP: If you're getting tired of having to explain yourself, then perhaps the numerous amount of people questioning your decision have a point (clue: they do). This isn't the refuge you were hoping it could be, you can't post here and expect everyone to respond with "Oh hunny of *course* you're engaged!" just because it happens to be a wedding website.

These women and men have an abundance of life experiences that they're speaking from. I'd venture to say that one of them is that you are no different at 18 then you are at 17, and however clichéd it is, we know that you will change soo much over the next ten years of your life. You may have more adult rights at 18 that you don't have right now and the one I strongly suggest you don't take advantage of is this one.

For all we know, your fiance may be The One - and this is where we knotties have no say - but if he's The One now, then he'll still be yours when you're 28 and able to handle every other adult situation in your life. (Have you ever filed your own taxes? Handled your own bills and checking account? Taken out a loan?)

My personal experience? Just because you've dated someone for a long time doesn't mean you should be with them forever.

GoldenPenguin · April 2014

wiggsaj said:

Thank you for all of the encouraging words of wisdom! Sorry it took so long to respond, I usually only have time to go on during the weekend. Feel free to judge me as you wish, I've truly run out of energy to explain myself to every single person that asks me all the exact same questions you all have asked me. (Although the questions about me being 14 are new, considering I'm 17 and will be 18 before I'm married lol). And, frankly, I don't really care about how strangers feel about my decisions because at the end of the day, they are mine to make. If you have any genuine concerns or questions, you can ask them. But try to make them sarcasm-free and tone down the snide remarks so that I can sense the sincerity. I'd love to be part of this community, just like all of you, so I'm just hoping that this judgment does not continue past this post. Thanks yall and God bless

PS... Sorry about offending you all regarding the potatos... & as far as the literature question goes, I prefer to write. Reading limits the imagination while writing sets you free. Just my opinion

I'm 17 and think I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worldly and uber mature.

wiggsaj · April 2014

Okay. Lets see.

Have I thought about life after the wedding? How will I afford it?

Really? Yes. FI and I have been saving for a very long time and have a hefty savings account that we have stored up for emergencies. We also have very nice jobs that pay well and that will take care of the monthly bills. (We have a budget on paper that proves to be very comfortable).

Can we independently pay for everything?

Yes. We offered to pay for the wedding as well, but my mother insisted that it was her responsibility to take care of that. Other than that, we are taking care of everything.

Am I pregnant?

I remember the days when it was politically incorrect to ask a question like that.

No.

Why am I in a rush?

I'm not.

If you meant to ask why I want to get married now, I would explain that when you meet a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. I guess I don't see the point in waiting 10 years for something that would be better off happening sooner.

If that answer is not good enough, I'm sure you will be satisfied when you ask yourself the same question, because I'm sure our answers are similar.

Where would we be living?

An apartment in Denver, Colorado.

Is this a common question on this site?

Do people normally post their address?

I feel like that's a bit personal, no?

How could I expect to have [polite] responses when I said I was 17 on a post?

I suppose I just have faith in society.

Will we be going to college?

Yes. We are already in college, both opting to be teachers

That's the big dream.

Have I ever filed my own taxes? Handled my own bills and checking account? Taken out a loan?

Yes, yes, yes, and no. Taking out a loan is seriously the worst financial decision a person could ever make. If I ever take out a loan it will be on my house. We both have cars that we don't owe payments to. (No, our parents don't pay for the payments on them, both cars are already paid for) I don't have a house yet.

Was this a religious decision?

I'm not religious, so no.

But, if you're asking if we kept God in mind while making this decision, I would explain that we put God first in every decision we make in our relationship, so yes. Absolutely.

Am I in high school?

I'm in both college and high school. I'm part of what's called a CE Program which allows me to take both college and high school classes at the same time, and earn credit for both. It's different from Honors classes, which I'm sure most of you have heard of. The classes are very difficult but because they are in my intrest, I enjoy them (plus they're cheap! lol). It's a pretty new program. I'm sure that if you looked it up on google you could learn more about it.

How can I be an effective writer if I don't read?

I do read, but I prefer to write, which explains why I don't have a favorite novel.

I think that's all the questions, but there were so many, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Quite honestly, If I had written all the exact same answers but instead of "17" I put "26" than none of you would have said a single thing about the fact that I don't read. Because you all know that I'm 17 years old, you assume automatically that I'm uneducated. I'm not the only person in the world who does not like to read. That says absolutely nothing about my education level. My opinions about reading are my own, and it's okay with me if you disagree.

I'm sorry for those of you who were offended by the fact that I could not respond quickly enough. As I explained above, I am very busy and only have time to check The Knot on the weekends. The weekend after I created my post was a very busy weekend, so I didn't get an opportunity to check the Knot. I'm genuinely sorry if you're offended, but there is truly nothing I can do about the fact that I'm a busy person. I will do my best to find time in order to not offend you, but I can't promise anything.

If you thought my above post had a defensive nature or tone, I also apologize. That's the problem with the internet: the reader has no idea what emotion I had in mind as I typed that, and is left to only assume. I had a completely content nature while typing that. I have no harsh feelings toward any of the people who commented, no matter how strange the questions were. Quite honestly, I've answered all of those questions so many times. I suppose I would rather have someone ask me about one of my interests, or virtually any other thing about me rather than immediantly jumping to the fact that I'm getting married younger than average. Call me crazy, but it's pretty offensive when people ask me if I'm pregnant every other day. If any of you had to answer the exact same very personal questions all the time, I'm sure you would grow tired of it as well.

This was just an introduction post. I hope that you can all find a way to look past my age and see me equally as human as you look at the rest of the posters. I hope after reading this you will be able to leave your assumptions and worries at the door and get to know me better. If not, I understand

You don't need to click on my posts any further. I promise it wont make me cry lol.

I can't want to get to know you all better!

Have a blessed day yall!

bethsmiles · April 2014

wiggsaj said:

Okay. Lets see.

Have I thought about life after the wedding? How will I afford it?
Really? Yes, really. Teenagers are known for not really thinking things through and you are a teenager. Yes. FI and I have been saving for a very long time and have a hefty savings account that we have stored up for emergencies. We also have very nice jobs that pay well and that will take care of the monthly bills. (We have a budget on paper that proves to be very comfortable).

Can we independently pay for everything?
Yes. We offered to pay for the wedding as well, but my mother insisted that it was her responsibility to take care of that. Other than that, we are taking care of everything.

Am I pregnant?
I remember the days when it was politically incorrect to ask a question like that.
No. Welcome to the internet hon.

Why am I in a rush?
I'm not.
If you meant to ask why I want to get married now, I would explain that when you meet a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. I guess I don't see the point in waiting 10 years for something that would be better off happening sooner.
If that answer is not good enough, I'm sure you will be satisfied when you ask yourself the same question, because I'm sure our answers are similar. No they aren't. Because most none of us are getting married at 17, which is definitely rushing things. Also, your life is happening right now, it doesn't start when you get married. Spending the rest of my life with my SO happened when I met him 5 1/2 years ago.

Where would we be living?
An apartment in Denver, Colorado.
Is this a common question on this site?
Do people normally post their address?
I feel like that's a bit personal, no? These are completely normal questions.

Will we be going to college?
Yes. We are already in college, both opting to be teachers That's the big dream. You aren't in college you're in high school. Taking classes at a college while also in high school doesn't mean you are in college.

Was this a religious decision?
I'm not religious, so no.
But, if you're asking if we kept God in mind while making this decision, I would explain that we put God first in every decision we make in our relationship, so yes. Absolutely. This answer makes no sense.

Am I in high school?
I'm in both college and high school. So high school. I'm part of what's called a CE Program which allows me to take both college and high school classes at the same time, and earn credit for both. It's different from Honors classes, which I'm sure most of you have heard of. This is not a new thing. I did it in high school as did multiple of my friends. The classes are very difficult but because they are in my intrest, I enjoy them (plus they're cheap! lol). It's a pretty new program. Nope, not new. I'm sure that if you looked it up on google you could learn more about it.

How can I be an effective writer if I don't read?
I do read, but I prefer to write, which explains why I don't have a favorite novel. You read but can't think of a single book you even liked?

I think that's all the questions. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Quite honestly, If I had written all the exact same answers but instead of "17" I put "26" than none of you would have said a single thing about the fact that I don't read. Oh we absolutely would have. Because you all know that I'm 17 years old, you assume automatically that I'm uneducated. You don't come across as uneducated but you do come across as a brat who thinks she knows everything. I'm not the only person in the world who does not like to read. That says absolutely nothing about my education level. My opinions about reading are my own, and it's okay with me if you disagree.

I'm sorry for those of you who were offended by the fact that I could not respond quickly enough. As I explained above, I am very busy and only have time to check The Knot on the weekends. You post once then don't come back for a week or two. People responded pretty immediately to your post. If you don't have time to sit for a minute and respond in the thread you started then don't start a thread. It's rude. The weekend after I created my post was a very busy weekend, so I didn't get an opportunity to check the Knot. I'm genuinely sorry if you're offended, but there is truly nothing I can do about the fact that I'm a busy person. You could not waste everyone's time by starting a thread you have no intentions of responding to in a timely manner. I will do my best to find time in order to not offend you, but I can't promise anything.

If you thought my above post had a defensive nature or tone, I also apologize. This post isn't much better. That's the problem with the internet: the reader has no idea what emotion I had in mind as I typed that, and is left to only assume. I had a completely content nature while typing that. I have no harsh feelings toward any of the people who commented, no matter how strange the questions were. Quite honestly, I've answered all of those questions so many times. I suppose I would rather have someone ask me about one of my interests, or virtually any other thing about me rather than immediantly jumping to the fact that I'm getting married younger than average. Then don't mention it. YOU made a big deal out of it in your original post. YOU are the one who pointed it out and basically said ask me about this! Call me crazy, but it's pretty offensive when people ask me if I'm pregnant every other day. If any of you had to answer the exact same very personal questions all the time, I'm sure you would grow tired of it as well. I would have had the good sense to leave it out of my post if I didn't want to be asked about it.

This was just an introduction post. I hope that you can all find a way to look past my age and see me equally as human *eye roll* well obviously we see you are human. Or are you an alien? as you look at the rest of the posters. I hope after reading this you will be able to leave your assumptions and worries at the door and get to know me better. Yeah, we can't do that if you aren't going to take the time to be active on the board. If not, I understand You don't need to click on my posts any further. I promise it wont make me cry lol.

I can't want to get to know you all better!
Have a blessed day yall!

KeptInStitches · April 2014

FI and I met when I was 18 and he was 21. We started dating when I was 21 and he was 24. We just got engaged this month - I'm 26, he's 29. We'll get married when I'm 27 and he's 30, if all goes well. It's not just about wanting the rest of your lives to start as soon as possible - newsflash, while you're in a relationship, you're living "the rest of your lives" right now. It's about getting everything else in order - financial security, finishing school, finding a place to live together, having good jobs, having hard conversations about expectations in life, etc. It can take some time to make those things work out.

wiggsaj · April 2014

I HAVE A QUESTION. This could be where we are all butting heads!

What does it take to have a happy marriage in your eyes?

No snark, just honesty! Please

bethsmiles · April 2014

There are a lot of different factors that go into having a happy marriage. In my option a few of the big ones are:

1) Love. But not that honeymoon phase type of love. I think this quote does a good job of phrasing it "'If the old fairy-tale ending 'They lived happily ever after' is taken to mean 'They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,' then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from 'being in love' — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. it is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it"

2) Communication. The ability to communicate with one another when it's easy and when it's hard. It's easy to communicate when you both agree, having good communication when you disagree or in a tough situation is a lot harder. And being able to communicate about the difficult things in life.

3) Trust. That one is pretty self-explanatory

4) Unity. You have to create a bond between the two of you that no one else gets to step between. Presenting a united front to family and friends can sometimes be harder than it seems.

Those are just four factors. Which I'm sure you could have in your marriage. But it's a hell of a lot EASIER if you've gotten yourselves financially stable, experienced life, grown and matured, gotten an education, etc. You are SEVENTEEN. I don't know anyone, literally not one, single person, who doesn't look back at their 17 year old self and say I've changed so much since then.

And honestly, I think anyone who gets married at 17 or 18 is rushing. It might work out, it might not but it was still rushed and I don't understand the need to rush into a decision as huge as marriage. And saying you don't want to wait to start your lives together is a bullshit argument. You are living your lives together right now. You don't lose anything by waiting but you can give your marriage a much better chance by doing so. I'm sure every couple who gets married young thinks they are the ones who will beat the odds. But guess what, most don't! And there's plenty of reasons for that.

bride2b71614 · April 2014

"You are SEVENTEEN. I don't know anyone, literally not one, single person, who doesn't look back at their 17 year old self and say I've changed so much since then.

And honestly, I think anyone who gets married at 17 or 18 is rushing. It might work out, it might not but it was still rushed and I don't understand the need to rush into a decision as huge as marriage. And saying you don't want to wait to start your lives together is a bullshit argument. You are living your lives together right now. You don't lose anything by waiting but you can give your marriage a much better chance by doing so. I'm sure every couple who gets married young thinks they are the ones who will beat the odds. But guess what, most don't! And there's plenty of reasons for that."

SO MUCH THIS! @bethsmiles is spot on. You don't need to get married right now because you have so much ahead of you. We are not responding to your chronological age, we are responding to the fact that you act your age, so add "maturity" onto @bethsmiles list. I am not saying that all seventeen year olds are immature, but you are definitely not coming off as the poster child for the exception to this rule, rather, you are acting like a speshul snowflake.

You are making a loose claim that we are agist. We had posters on here within your age range, and one specific incident comes to mind. She was eighteen, attending college (not just taking supplemental classes) and was getting married to her bf (who was significantly older than she was). Like you, we focused on her age (also focused on her significant other's age) and instead of stamping her foot, she provided us with an incredibly mature, well thought out response. She gained our respect and we responded well to her after that.

Pepperally · April 2014

I'm just going to say this as a 38 y/o...if I had gotten married at 17, living with the same person my entire life, I most likely would have murdered him by now. I know people do it, and I don't get it. I changed so much during my twenties I don't know that the guy I chose at such a young age would fit with who I am today...well, in fact I know he wouldn't.

Swazzle · April 2014

Every single thing @bethsmiles said. All of it.

No, we don't want to get to know you because 1) we don't care for speshul snowflakes and 2) how the fuck do you "get to know" someone who pops in once a month?

manateehugger · April 2014

I've never posted on this board, but I lurk occasionally and had to say something. I've known I was going to marry my fiance since I was 19. Do I think we would have made it if I had gotten married at 19? Yes. Do I think we would have had a happy and productive first five years of marriage? Absolutely not.

Those five years helped me grow up, helped me learn how to be an independent woman even as I prepare to dedicate my life to someone else, helped us gather the education and financial stability we needed to reduce the stress on our relationship of supporting ourselves on our marriage (BTW, we STILL stress about money at each other), we've both gotten to travel and see a lot more than the environment we grew up in, we got to explore our faiths as more mature human beings, we got to make our own new friendships, we've learned to communicate a HELL of a lot better, and it goes on. These past five years will make me a better partner than I would have been in the beginning. There's fulfillment to be found by gaining strength and maturity on your own.

Also (because as a hobby writer and BA in Literature-holder, I can't not say it), no good author doesn't read. Otherwise, you're just spilling out your own sheltered thoughts with no wisdom, audience, or precedent to guide you.

wiggsaj · April 2014

So it takes a complete explination of each and every life decision to "gain" respect from all of you?

I didn't even want to answer your questions because I know that no matter what I would have said, you would have argued that I was being immature. I don't respond at all, I'm immature. I don't answer your questions because I don't care what you all have to say about my decisions when you don't know me, I'm immature. I try to answer your questions in the very most polite and respectable way I possibly can, I'm immature. I say I don't like to read, I'm immature. I say I love Jesus, I'm immature. I say that it's politically incorrect to ask a woman if she's pregnant, I'm immature. I say that I can't wait to get to know all of you, I'm immature.

My family, my friends, my coworkers, my pastors, even my grandparents (who were married at 18 and just celebrated their 40th anniversary) are all blindly convinced that even though I'm a "speshul snowflake" (whatever that is) that my relationship is very healthy and they foresee it lasting forever. Literally the only issue that we could have due to our age would be finances, and because we've been saving for so long, we could put a heafty downpayment on a house. So finances are not an issue for us either.

Yes, we will change in our tewnties. And our thirties. And our fourties. But isn't the art of a relationship growing and changing together? I've changed more in the last three years of my life than I have changed ever sense I was a toddler, and all three of those years have been a dance between he and myself. We change and grow together through communication, sharing precious time, laughs, tears, and many kisses. Our relationship is based off of mutual respect, trust, and love of each other and Jesus. When we fight, we do not yell or scream, we discover. There is no hiding your feelings in our relationship. We think before we talk and we ALWAYS talk through everything. We go through premarital counseling and relationship classes. We know the statistics. We know the odds. More importantly than all of that, we love each other faithfully and endlessly, and we know that for a fact.

Why do I want to get married right now?

When I look at my future, my past, and today, I couldn't be happier with the way it all looks. I can't picture myself traveling the world, going to school, or further discovering myself without my best friend beside me in the process. You all ask me, "why now" and I can't help but answer with "why wait?" They say that when you know, you just know. You guys, I'm so happy. I really am so happy. I know I've got so much to learn about being a bride and being a wife. Quite honestly, I'll probably never quite figure it out. But I can't wait to start that adventure with my beautiful soon to be husband. People have honestly told me that I should feel so lucky because I've found a man who loves me more than most people will ever be loved in their whole life, and that even more so, I've found him while I'm so young. This isn't like some little fling. This isn't one of those break-up-every-week-but-want-to-get-married-to-make-it-officail type of things. No, this is something very beautiful and special.

All of you that are trying to tell me that I should expect this type of behavior, you should be especially ashamed of yourselves. If we all met up and had coffee one day, none of you would even guess my age unless I told you. I'm a very honest young woman, so I'd tell you, but we could talk for hours before you'd know. I don't mean the way I look, because standing next to 17 year olds I look 17 while standing next to 22 year olds I look 22 (according to just about everyone who has met me). I mean that I'm not an ignorant child, but rather a very sensitive old soul. The people that have actually met me have all agreed. If any of you had an ounce of education in psychology, you'd know that the things you notice about other people are things you actually notice about yourself. Directly translated: I'm very sorry that you all feel insecure about yourselves or your relationships. I pray blessings over your current or future marriages.

That's my piece. If I had the time or the energy to tell you all the reasons I'm getting married than I would. However this is not my first rodeo and I'm not ignorant enough to believe that any of you would actually respect me after reading this. I know that your 2-10 years of life experience gives you all "wisdom" but the fact that I actually know me, and I know the situation in it's entirety gives me a leg up over any word of advice coming from someone who doesn't know anything about me other than my age and the fact that I don't like to read. I know some of you will quote me and type in some snide remarks about how "immature" or "wrong" I am, or about how something I said is "BS." Some of you will comment and explain how what I'm doing is stupid and I shouldn't go through with it because the odds are against me, or anyway they were against you when you were 17. Some of you wont even respond either due to the fact that you have no idea what you should say or because you wont be waisting your time with someone as immature as myself. I, on the other hand, will continue being "rude" and get back to my real human life. As you all know, it's Sunday and I'm not going to be back for another 5 days (or 12 years, as some of you like to exaggerate).

While I'm gone, just remember that no matter what you say on this forum, I wont judge you as a human being, and I continue to anticipate the relationships I'll create with you. I'm sure that outside of this, you are all beautiful people who would never honestly think it's appropriate to treat a person this way. So, I will accept all of your snide remarks or completely rude comments as "congratulations on your engagement!"

For that, thanks!

KeptInStitches · April 2014

If you're not open to outside opinions on your relationship - and we all have been given opinions in the past - why did you post here?

Swazzle · April 2014

Thank you for yet another useless novel of a post.

See you in a month when you decide to pop back in with your nonsense and we get to do this all over again!

PS. Enjoy high school tomorrow!

bride2b71614 · April 2014

Where did we call you immature for loving Jesus? No one said that during the course of this thread. Look, you are seventeen, we think you are making a poor decision, you don't, and thats fine. But do yourself a favor: don't come charging in here saying something along the lines of you guys are insecure within your relationships and marriages and that I'll be praying for you, then state how you're looking forward to becoming our friend. Your lashing out at us does little to make you look favorable here. I speak for myself when I say I have no desire to get to know you as a person. I wish you the best of luck, like @keptinstitches said, you're going to need it.

CLoGreenEyes · April 2014

@wiggsaj, if you continue to argue and respond to our questions this way, no one is really going to want to interact with you on here. I'm not trying to be mean; it's just the facts. There is a difference between explaining yourself and going so far as to say we're wrong and that you are actually SORRY for how our relationships must be going if this is what we say to you. That's not a way to make friends. I'm sure you would agree that walking up to people IRL and physically saying what you just wrote would be perceived as pretty aggressive. Regardless of what other people say to you, don't YOU want to conduct yourself in a way that you can be proud of?

I think a much more effective response on your part would have read something like, "Thank you all for sharing your concerns. To answer your questions, FI and I realize we are very young, but we have worked very hard to make sure our finances, education, faith, and personal identities are in good standing. Since you were curious, I'm not much of a reader, but I did enjoy (insert a book, a magazine, ANYTHING), and I like my potatoes (insert method of potato preparation here). I like to spend my time (insert other hobbies here, and perhaps a question as to whether anyone else likes those one or two things too)." If you don't want to focus on this one thing (that you specifically made sure to share with us in your OP, by the way), that's fine, I guess, but give us something else to focus on instead of making it the target of every one of your posts. The fact that you continue to so ardently defend your every life decision indicates (perhaps falsely, but still) that you're NOT 100% comfortable with it, whereas simply stating your stance and moving on at least gives us more to go on to understand you as a whole person, rather than the 17-year-old girl who is already engaged and apparently doesn't like to read.

For what it's worth, I think it's great that you have a steady, long-term relationship with someone you think is good for you. I sincerely hope it will work out as a wonderful, supportive lifelong relationship for you, because the alternative is heartbreaking. You've already heard the numerous things you need to consider, both practical matters and otherwise, so I won't reiterate. You're right, just because you're 17 doesn't mean it won't work out. And just because you're mature for your age and "none of us would think you were only 17 if we met you" doesn't mean it will. That's entirely up to you, and it makes no difference to us what happens in your relationship in the end. That's why I hope you will really take to heart what has been said here - it's not for our sake but for yours and yours alone.

bethsmiles · April 2014

My gif won't show up but pretty much I'm done with this thread and OP. I put a lot of thought and time into responding to you and you just brushed it all aside - not the way to get accepted on a message board.

Introduction Post (just a little late!)

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