What are your etiquette deal breakers?

Jenjustin2921

Ok help me out here: 1. What is an FI? I know what SO is. I'm 33, my wedding is May 2015. I have been in 9 weddings and have attended at least 20 more. We are only inviting SOs if the invitee has one. Sorry, no "and Guest" to single people. We can't afford it! Every solo person we are inviting knows at least 3 other people there, so I see no need. I've gone to weddings solo when I was single in the past because seriously, you want me to bring someone random to your wedding?
2. What is the big deal with a gap in time? Our ceremony venue can ONLY take us at 2pm. I'm not having an 8 hour reception, and I'm not going to have it end at 8pm either. We also need all of that time for the many places we wish to have pictures taken. We are including in our invites ideas for guests during this time, including letting them follow us around and take their own pictures! I have no problem with that. The ceremony is at the hotel everyone is staying at so they can also go back to their room, hit the bar, whatever. I'm sorry but having my events where I want them is important. I can't help that they can't hold t later and it took us two months to get that date. I've been to at least a dozen weddings with gaps and never found them a problem. Many of you find some very petty things in this and honestly, as a guest, if you love the bride and groom (or even just one of them), you'll go along with whatever happens at their wedding. You should be honored they invited YOU.

mbdeskin

I'm just curious. Are people mad at honeymoon registries when that is the only thing the couple is registered for or just in general? We are registered at Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond, AND Honeyfund because people my age kept recommending it to us.

We aren't demanding money by any means. We just know that some people can't make it, and just would like to give us money, but don't like the idea of sending cash. We are adults with most of the things we already need for our home, so our registries for items aren't huge.

I just want to make sure it isn't coming off like we are demanding money. That's not the case at all.

lyndausvi

PrettyGirlLost said:

kbwhitlock said:

I have never even heard of a wedding without a gap between the wedding and reception. When are people suppose to take pictures?! COCKTAIL HOUR!! COCKTAIL HOUR!!  As in one hour to 90mins tops.  Then get your ass to the reception because ppl are waiting for you to show up so that they can eat and party with you. 

Pictures DO NOT need to take 2 hours or more.  If you want to take pictures at 20 different locations then set up a Rock the Dress/Trash the Dress session for another date with your photographers and your husband. . . because your bridal party doesn't want to be dragged all over God's green earth to stand around and watch you take pictures for 2 hours.  They'd rather be eating, drinking, and socializing with the rest of your guests.

Want to take 1000 family portraits?  Do that at the reception, after dinner. 

I just grab a drink with friends attending the wedding or run home and freshen up. No big thing!   What were you doing during the wedding ceremony that you needed to freshen up afterwards?  Aerobics?  Wrestling?  I have never needed to freshen up after a wedding ><

I always wonder what kind of ceremonies need refeshing afterwards.  Most gaps seem to be caused by Catholics,  as someone who grew up Catholic and have been to more weddings then I can count I don't get it.

It's not a deal breaker for me.  I have to attend one in the fall.  OOT wedding for me.  All the people I know at the wedding are in the WP, including DH.    I just can't wait to figure out  what I'm going to be doing for those hours while they are all taking pictures.   

pinkshorts27

mbdeskin said:

I'm just curious. Are people mad at honeymoon registries when that is the only thing the couple is registered for or just in general? We are registered at Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond, AND Honeyfund because people my age kept recommending it to us.

We aren't demanding money by any means. We just know that some people can't make it, and just would like to give us money, but don't like the idea of sending cash. We are adults with most of the things we already need for our home, so our registries for items aren't huge.

I just want to make sure it isn't coming off like we are demanding money. That's not the case at all.

ALWAYS, in general for all the reasons listed previously. Just make small registries and who doesn't know they can write a check.

lalapalooza2222

I am pretty glad I found r his although I'm not sure where everyone is from but I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar that's crazy. And I have no idea wat a dollar dance is. The gap although I heard of it I don't think it's common where I live because it was not even considered planning my wedding.
As for thank you cards that's a must I paid a good difference extra for those to be added to my photography package and of course we will make them all personal.

I can't stand when ppl do not rsvp. Just let me know if you are going is not that haed. As for inviting significant others . I feel depends my mom asked if she could invite a few of her close work friends of course I said yes but I highly doubt a. They would bring there husband's b. I feel in this situation it's ok.

But anyone I'm inviting if they are married engaged or in a serious relationship I would invite there so. But to put it simply everyone can't bring a plus one.

A lot of the other things listed don't really bother me. It's really hard to plan a wedding and make everyone happy.

ediehelena

Nevermind on my honeymoon fund question-I didn't see the proper end of this thread and this was explained many times. Food for thought.

I think something else to consider is that some of us have been in relationships for a LONG time before getting married. When I get hitched, I'll have been living with my groom for over 10 years. Most of the things one would put on a registry we already have amassed over 10 years of christmases. birthdays, etc.

So it makes sense to me to say, essentially, we don't want/need any kitchen gadgets, guest towels etc. and prefer money to help fund the honeymoon-but how do you do it? "In lieu of a registry, the couple prefers cash" on an invitation? So honeyfund and others help bypass that embarrassment. 

It's a pickle, no doubt. 

And while I've been slightly disappointed at a cash bar-leaving a wedding based on it? Do you actually care about the people getting married or not? Because if I'm willing to meet you at a bar for your birthday and buy you drinks, I'm willing to pay for my drinks at your wedding. 

I'm doing my best to have great food and great music at my wedding, but keeping a wedding under 10k when you live in NYC is so hard. Food and music will not suffer, but drinks may-I was thinking of providing unlimited beer/wine and virgin drinks and possibly having a cash bar for anyone that wants hard liquor, but it's a tough decision.

That said, if a guest couldn't afford to give me a gift, I wouldn't care. I'm inviting them to celebrate with me-not to shower me with gifts. It's a tough economy and many friends and family are out of work. My groom has been in and out of work for the last 5 years, and I think it pays to be sensitive to all those situations...

VulgarGirl

Jenjustin2921 said:

Ok help me out here: 1. What is an FI? I know what SO is. I'm 33, my wedding is May 2015. I have been in 9 weddings and have attended at least 20 more. We are only inviting SOs if the invitee has one. Sorry, no "and Guest" to single people. We can't afford it! Every solo person we are inviting knows at least 3 other people there, so I see no need. I've gone to weddings solo when I was single in the past because seriously, you want me to bring someone random to your wedding? 2. What is the big deal with a gap in time? Our ceremony venue can ONLY take us at 2pm. I'm not having an 8 hour reception, and I'm not going to have it end at 8pm either. We also need all of that time for the many places we wish to have pictures taken. We are including in our invites ideas for guests during this time, including letting them follow us around and take their own pictures! I have no problem with that. The ceremony is at the hotel everyone is staying at so they can also go back to their room, hit the bar, whatever. I'm sorry but having my events where I want them is important. I can't help that they can't hold t later and it took us two months to get that date. I've been to at least a dozen weddings with gaps and never found them a problem. Many of you find some very petty things in this and honestly, as a guest, if you love the bride and groom (or even just one of them), you'll go along with whatever happens at their wedding. You should be honored they invited YOU.

I like to always bring up two different weddings I went to when someone says that. Similar budgets and venues. One where the vibe was very much, "You should be honored you're invited", limited food, long gap, B&G barely spoke to anyone. The other was "We are honored you're here", good food, awesome cocktail hour, lots of socializing by the B&G and their families. Guess which one I was happier to be at? And which one I left early? 

Lemme tell you something that is going to blow apart your world. I know it did when someone told me. You aren't that special. You aren't that amazing or fantastic or wonderful. This is not a day where you get to stand around and be worshiped by your adoring fans. These are your friends and your family. You need to treat them well and be thankful they came.

I was 9 and being a brat at my birthday party when my dad gave them that information. Someone probably should have told you sooner too.

jdluvr06

Jenjustin2921 said:

Ok help me out here: 1. What is an FI? I know what SO is. I'm 33, my wedding is May 2015. I have been in 9 weddings and have attended at least 20 more. We are only inviting SOs if the invitee has one. Sorry, no "and Guest" to single people. We can't afford it! Every solo person we are inviting knows at least 3 other people there, so I see no need. I've gone to weddings solo when I was single in the past because seriously, you want me to bring someone random to your wedding? 2. What is the big deal with a gap in time? Our ceremony venue can ONLY take us at 2pm. I'm not having an 8 hour reception, and I'm not going to have it end at 8pm either. We also need all of that time for the many places we wish to have pictures taken. We are including in our invites ideas for guests during this time, including letting them follow us around and take their own pictures! I have no problem with that. The ceremony is at the hotel everyone is staying at so they can also go back to their room, hit the bar, whatever. I'm sorry but having my events where I want them is important. I can't help that they can't hold t later and it took us two months to get that date. I've been to at least a dozen weddings with gaps and never found them a problem. Many of you find some very petty things in this and honestly, as a guest, if you love the bride and groom (or even just one of them), you'll go along with whatever happens at their wedding. You should be honored they invited YOU.

I'm not even going to touch the gap because there are people here who are much better at explaining why it is so rude than I am. However, I am going to repeat myself because this a huge pet peeve of mine. The guests aren't honored to be invited. You're wedding isn't a inaugural ball, you are not royalty, and they aren't receiving any kind of medal. The bride and grooms are the ones who should feel honored that people love them enough to take time out of their lives and spend money to attend your wedding and support your marriage. Be grateful. Whenever I see someone say the guest should feel honored to be invited the word "spoiled" pops into my head in big flashing red letters.

ETA: post like this are exactly why we need a hate it button.

chibiyui

mbdeskin said:

I'm just curious. Are people mad at honeymoon registries when that is the only thing the couple is registered for or just in general? We are registered at Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond, AND Honeyfund because people my age kept recommending it to us.

We aren't demanding money by any means. We just know that some people can't make it, and just would like to give us money, but don't like the idea of sending cash. We are adults with most of the things we already need for our home, so our registries for items aren't huge.

I just want to make sure it isn't coming off like we are demanding money. That's not the case at all.

I am mad at honeymoon registries cause I didn't come up with the idea of tricking people out of their money first.

thisismynickname2

PDKH said:

kbwhitlock said:

I have never even heard of a wedding without a gap between the wedding and reception. When are people suppose to take pictures?!

I just grab a drink with friends attending the wedding or run home and freshen up. No big thing!

About 90% of the weddings I attend have gaps too. I personally don't mind them, but I realize they are against proper hosting etiquette. 

You take pictures during cocktail hour before the reception; that's what cocktail hours were designed to do - fill the gap. 

If you have guests driving from 2 or 3 hours away.... not far enough to warrant a hotel room but still a long drive, for example.... they cannot run home. They're stuck meandering around town doing goodness-knows-what.  

Oftentimes when there is a significant gap, people will just not come to the actual ceremony. They'll wait to drive out and just go straight to the reception.  Considering the whole point of the event is to get married, don't you want your guests to see you get married and not be stuck with nothing to do, wearing fancy clothes, all afternoon?

This is an example of "just because it's common doesn't make it right".  Sure, I've entertained myself or freshened up or even pre-gamed with friends during gaps, but I've done that because I wanted to watch so-and-so actually go through the ceremony and party later.  It bothers me a bit but not enough to not go.  It's an inconvenience. Please don't do that to people. 

And before anyone goes whining about how their church won't have a ceremony past 2pm, remember you can have an afternoon reception. Unfortunately, if you want a church ceremony and an evening reception, you generally can't have your cake and eat it too without inconveniencing a lot of people. So, start hosting the moment your ceremony ends.  I saw an example of a bride who did have several hours between ceremony and cocktail hour, but her parents opened their local home to guests with cheese-and-cracker type stuff. It's something, at least. 

ediehelena

Actually, not at all lazy, I read through a bunch of the thread to what I thought was the end, but I'm new to this particular board interface and thought I'd reached thread's end when really I hadn't.

arrippa

Jenjustin2921 said:

Ok help me out here: 1. What is an FI? I know what SO is. I'm 33, my wedding is May 2015. I have been in 9 weddings and have attended at least 20 more. We are only inviting SOs if the invitee has one. Sorry, no "and Guest" to single people. We can't afford it! Every solo person we are inviting knows at least 3 other people there, so I see no need. I've gone to weddings solo when I was single in the past because seriously, you want me to bring someone random to your wedding? 2. What is the big deal with a gap in time? Our ceremony venue can ONLY take us at 2pm. I'm not having an 8 hour reception, and I'm not going to have it end at 8pm either. We also need all of that time for the many places we wish to have pictures taken. We are including in our invites ideas for guests during this time, including letting them follow us around and take their own pictures! I have no problem with that. The ceremony is at the hotel everyone is staying at so they can also go back to their room, hit the bar, whatever. I'm sorry but having my events where I want them is important. I can't help that they can't hold t later and it took us two months to get that date. I've been to at least a dozen weddings with gaps and never found them a problem. Many of you find some very petty things in this and honestly, as a guest, if you love the bride and groom (or even just one of them), you'll go along with whatever happens at their wedding. You should be honored they invited YOU.

Drink!

FI=fiancé, fiancée or the person who are going to marry.

grumbledore

Jenjustin2921 said:

Ok help me out here: 1. What is an FI? I know what SO is. I'm 33, my wedding is May 2015. I have been in 9 weddings and have attended at least 20 more. We are only inviting SOs if the invitee has one. Sorry, no "and Guest" to single people. We can't afford it! Every solo person we are inviting knows at least 3 other people there, so I see no need. I've gone to weddings solo when I was single in the past because seriously, you want me to bring someone random to your wedding?
2. What is the big deal with a gap in time? Our ceremony venue can ONLY take us at 2pm. I'm not having an 8 hour reception, and I'm not going to have it end at 8pm either. We also need all of that time for the many places we wish to have pictures taken. We are including in our invites ideas for guests during this time, including letting them follow us around and take their own pictures! I have no problem with that. The ceremony is at the hotel everyone is staying at so they can also go back to their room, hit the bar, whatever. I'm sorry but having my events where I want them is important. I can't help that they can't hold t later and it took us two months to get that date. I've been to at least a dozen weddings with gaps and never found them a problem. Many of you find some very petty things in this and honestly, as a guest, if you love the bride and groom (or even just one of them), you'll go along with whatever happens at their wedding. You should be honored they invited YOU.

Puke.

ediehelena

Just confused by the interface a bit as I'm new. Apologies that it offended/annoyed.

cupcait927

MagicInk said:

Jenjustin2921 said:

Ok help me out here: 1. What is an FI? I know what SO is. I'm 33, my wedding is May 2015. I have been in 9 weddings and have attended at least 20 more. We are only inviting SOs if the invitee has one. Sorry, no "and Guest" to single people. We can't afford it! Every solo person we are inviting knows at least 3 other people there, so I see no need. I've gone to weddings solo when I was single in the past because seriously, you want me to bring someone random to your wedding? 2. What is the big deal with a gap in time? Our ceremony venue can ONLY take us at 2pm. I'm not having an 8 hour reception, and I'm not going to have it end at 8pm either. We also need all of that time for the many places we wish to have pictures taken. We are including in our invites ideas for guests during this time, including letting them follow us around and take their own pictures! I have no problem with that. The ceremony is at the hotel everyone is staying at so they can also go back to their room, hit the bar, whatever. I'm sorry but having my events where I want them is important. I can't help that they can't hold t later and it took us two months to get that date. I've been to at least a dozen weddings with gaps and never found them a problem. Many of you find some very petty things in this and honestly, as a guest, if you love the bride and groom (or even just one of them), you'll go along with whatever happens at their wedding. You should be honored they invited YOU.

I like to always bring up two different weddings I went to when someone says that. Similar budgets and venues. One where the vibe was very much, "You should be honored you're invited", limited food, long gap, B&G barely spoke to anyone. The other was "We are honored you're here", good food, awesome cocktail hour, lots of socializing by the B&G and their families. Guess which one I was happier to be at? And which one I left early? 

Lemme tell you something that is going to blow apart your world. I know it did when someone told me. You aren't that special. You aren't that amazing or fantastic or wonderful. This is not a day where you get to stand around and be worshiped by your adoring fans. These are your friends and your family. You need to treat them well and be thankful they came.

I was 9 and being a brat at my birthday party when my dad gave them that information. Someone probably should have told you sooner too.

100% on the bolded. YOU (all the special snowflake brides on here) ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL!

VulgarGirl

ediehelena said:

I think something else to consider is that some of us have been in relationships for a LONG time before getting married. When I get hitched, I'll have been living with my groom for over 10 years. Most of the things one would put on a registry we already have amassed over 10 years of christmases. birthdays, etc.

I'm doing my best to have great food and great music at my wedding, but keeping a wedding under 10k when you live in NYC is so hard. Food and music will not suffer, but drinks may-I was thinking of providing unlimited beer/wine and virgin drinks and possibly having a cash bar for anyone that wants hard liquor, but it's a tough decision.

We became an official couple July 4, 2004. We don't have a honeyfund. Our registry is small, mostly of things we can enjoy doing as a couple and few kitchen things FI wants (she handles cooking). We don't give a shit if anyone gets us a gift. If we get cash great. If we get another blender, maybe it'll be better then our current blender, maybe it won't, doesn't really matter.

Do unlimited beer/wine and virgin drinks (soda, tea, coffee, ect) and just do no hard alcohol at all. It's perfectly fine to offer a limited open bar, but not to offer some stuff at no cost and charge for the others.

Kauris

ediehelena said: Can someone please explain why everyone is so offended by honeymoon registries? Some of us don't have a lot of money to spend, and if it's OK to set up a gift registry with gifts you'd like to receive, why is it bad to list options to sponsor parts of honeymoons? I bought a zip-line canopy tour from my friend's honeymoon registry and the awesome pics of her and the groom zip-lining and smiling I received were much more personal and satisfying that a note saying "thanks for the blender" would've been.
Not trying to be argumentative, I just don't understand why so many responses list a honeymoon registry as a deal-breaker...


Anyone know what's worse than entitlement? Laziness...

Maggie0829

ediehelena said:

Nevermind on my honeymoon fund question-I didn't see the proper end of this thread and this was explained many times. Food for thought.

I think something else to consider is that some of us have been in relationships for a LONG time before getting married. When I get hitched, I'll have been living with my groom for over 10 years. Most of the things one would put on a registry we already have amassed over 10 years of christmases. birthdays, etc.

So it makes sense to me to say, essentially, we don't want/need any kitchen gadgets, guest towels etc. and prefer money to help fund the honeymoon-but how do you do it? "In lieu of a registry, the couple prefers cash" on an invitation? So honeyfund and others help bypass that embarrassment. 

If you prefer cash then you just do not register. When there is no registry made up of physical gifts your guests will realize that what you really want is money. People are not stupid. Everyone knows that cash makes a great wedding gift so you don't have to say anything about it.

Maggie0829

ckel24 said:

MagicInk said:

Jenjustin2921 said:

Ok help me out here: 1. What is an FI? I know what SO is. I'm 33, my wedding is May 2015. I have been in 9 weddings and have attended at least 20 more. We are only inviting SOs if the invitee has one. Sorry, no "and Guest" to single people. We can't afford it! Every solo person we are inviting knows at least 3 other people there, so I see no need. I've gone to weddings solo when I was single in the past because seriously, you want me to bring someone random to your wedding? 2. What is the big deal with a gap in time? Our ceremony venue can ONLY take us at 2pm. I'm not having an 8 hour reception, and I'm not going to have it end at 8pm either. We also need all of that time for the many places we wish to have pictures taken. We are including in our invites ideas for guests during this time, including letting them follow us around and take their own pictures! I have no problem with that. The ceremony is at the hotel everyone is staying at so they can also go back to their room, hit the bar, whatever. I'm sorry but having my events where I want them is important. I can't help that they can't hold t later and it took us two months to get that date. I've been to at least a dozen weddings with gaps and never found them a problem. Many of you find some very petty things in this and honestly, as a guest, if you love the bride and groom (or even just one of them), you'll go along with whatever happens at their wedding. You should be honored they invited YOU.

I like to always bring up two different weddings I went to when someone says that. Similar budgets and venues. One where the vibe was very much, "You should be honored you're invited", limited food, long gap, B&G barely spoke to anyone. The other was "We are honored you're here", good food, awesome cocktail hour, lots of socializing by the B&G and their families. Guess which one I was happier to be at? And which one I left early? 

Lemme tell you something that is going to blow apart your world. I know it did when someone told me. You aren't that special. You aren't that amazing or fantastic or wonderful. This is not a day where you get to stand around and be worshiped by your adoring fans. These are your friends and your family. You need to treat them well and be thankful they came.

I was 9 and being a brat at my birthday party when my dad gave them that information. Someone probably should have told you sooner too.

100% on the bolded. YOU (all the special snowflake brides on here) ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL!

And this is what is wrong with kids and teenagers today.  They all think that they are special and entitled to everything.  Guess what?  They aren't and if you want something then you need to work hard to get it.  Shit isn't just handed to you.  If you want respect you have to give it.

lalapalooza2222

I agree nyc is super expensive honey funds don't bother me I would rather give something someone wanted. I'm shocked u are able to have a wedding in nyc under 10k ediehelena

Maggie0829

amandaelizabeth22 said:

I agree nyc is super expensive honey funds don't bother me I would rather give something someone wanted. I'm shocked u are able to have a wedding in nyc under 10k ediehelena

And what they want is cash.  So write them a check or hand them some green paper and tell them to use it on their honeymoon.  

ediehelena

Hahah, Amanda, well it's not done being planned YET so we'll see if I actually achieve it! Having the ceremony in a public park (it's a beautiful spot and only costs a $35 park permit!) and a low-cost venue really saved some money in the budget.

But again-we'll see how it actually shakes out, wish me luck! 

ediehelena

It's a fair suggestion. I just worry about people who don't have much money to give feeling weird writing a check for $40 bucks...still you make a very good point. Appreciate the feedback.

arrippa

amandaelizabeth22 said:

I agree nyc is super expensive honey funds don't bother me I would rather give something someone wanted. I'm shocked u are able to have a wedding in nyc under 10k ediehelena

So why can't you just give them a check? Why give them money through a company that will deduct fees? I just don't understand this.

ediehelena

I'd say snap judgement is up there too! Kidding-not trying to start a flame war. It was an honest mistake, apologies that it offended and annoyed you.

Fran1985

To me it seems the defining line is whether you as the bride feel that your guests should be honored that they were invited, or if you as the bride feel honored that your guests came to your wedding. Group one doesn't care about etiquette because they think anything they give their guests is a perk ("I'm already paying for a full meal", etc) Group two is very concerned with etiquette, because they realize they have been honored are want to reciprocate by making their guests feel honored.

I'm surprised that people would come on this thread and brag that they are more important than their loved ones, or that the day is all about them. My number one concern about my wedding is that my guests have a good time. We are having a wedding FOR our family and friends. We could have eloped but we wanted to have our family and friends there. So the party is for them.

Also on the note of registries- if you have been together for 10 years and have everything you need that congratulations- you are super blessed. It doesn't mean you should run out and ask for money. I really feel that most registries and showers are outdated because people are getting married later but realize I am in the minority in this. I just think that if I was a 21 year old bride, I'd graciously accept the shower and wedding gifts, but as a 30 year old bride I just want to give my friends a good party.  

ediehelena

Magicink, thanks for the reply. It's less gauche to not have hard alcohol at all than to offer it for money-it makes sense.

Happy nuptials to you and your partner! I'm happy you're finally getting the wedding you want after being a long-term couple!

happymellow

I tend to not accept wedding invites from people I'm not that close to.  So, I'm assuming any wedding I'm attending I love and care for the people involved.  In that case, nothing short of a physical brawl or a screaming match would make me get up and walk out.

If I happened to go to a distant co-worker's wedding, or whatnot, I'd probably find some excuse to leave early even if they did everything perfectly.  I'm awkward around people I don't know very well--sometimes around people I do know well. 

ediehelena

Fran1985-love the AD gif! I'm not at all "super" blessed, I've just gotten a lot of nice hand-me downs from others who were upgrading things & my friends/family know I like to receive practical gifts if they feel like giving them. 

PrettyGirlLost

Jenjustin2921 said:

Ok help me out here: 1. What is an FI? I know what SO is. I'm 33, my wedding is May 2015. I have been in 9 weddings and have attended at least 20 more. We are only inviting SOs if the invitee has one. Sorry, no "and Guest" to single people. We can't afford it! Every solo person we are inviting knows at least 3 other people there, so I see no need. I've gone to weddings solo when I was single in the past because seriously, you want me to bring someone random to your wedding? 2. What is the big deal with a gap in time?  As a guest, it is a waste of my time and what it says to me is that my time is not important to you.  It tells me you'd rather waste my time than find a different ceremony site or reception site.  And as an OOT guest, i find that particularly insulting.  Oh, so it's ok for me to spend money and time to drive/fly to your wedding and then sit around for several hours with my thumb up my ass while I wait for you to take pictures off site or wait for your evening reception to start bc you didn't want an afternoon reception?  Our ceremony venue can ONLY take us at 2pm. I'm not having an 8 hour reception, and I'm not going to have it end at 8pm either. Why does it matter what time your reception ends?  So having an all night bender is more important to you than your guests sitting around waiting for you and your reception to start?  Rude.  We also need all of that time for the many places we wish to have pictures taken. Ugh, sweet Jesus no!  Hire your photographers for a rock the dress/trash the dress session later and do that shit on your own time with your husband, not when ppl are waiting around for you both.  And please do not drag your WP to all of these sites too.  They would rather be at the reception with everyone else socializing, eating, and drinking. . . oh wait.  We are including in our invites ideas for guests during this time, including letting them follow us around and take their own pictures! Oh yeah, cause that's exactly what I want to do with my time. . . I have no problem with that. The ceremony is at the hotel everyone is staying at so they can also go back to their room, hit the bar, whatever.   Yep, again just what I want to  do- Get all dressed up to attend your ceremony just so I can then return to my hotel room to watch TV for hours on end in my nice clothes, while you take pictures.  Gag.  Or better yet, go waste time at the hotel bar paying way too much for watery drinks?  No thanks.  I'm sorry but having my events where I want them is important.  It's nice that having your events where you want them is more important than the actual guests you expect to show up to these events.  I can't help that they can't hold t later and it took us two months to get that date. Yes you can help it.  You can have your ceremony and then have your reception right after, even if it means finding different venues.  I've been to at least a dozen weddings with gaps and never found them a problem. Many of you find some very petty things in this and honestly, as a guest, if you love the bride and groom (or even just one of them), you'll go along with whatever happens at their wedding. Sure I will, but you can bet your sweet ass that I will bitch the entire time you are wasting my time taking pictures.  And most of the ppl I am with will be bitching and clock watching as well, because they hate gaps too.  You should be honored they invited YOU.  Actually, no.  The Bride and Groom should be honored that their guests showed up.  Because it is an honor to have someone else care enough about you to want to witness your marriage.

On top of everything I said above, I hate gaps because they kill the momentum of the day for me.  After the ceremony, I'm excited that you just got married and I want to go party with you!  I don't want to go sit around for a few hours trying to kill time.  All that does is drain the excitement, kill the momentum, and tire me out more quickly.