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Breastfeeding controversy in my town. What say ye? UPDATED with links to the articles

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Re: Breastfeeding controversy in my town. What say ye? UPDATED with links to the articles

  • doeydo said:

    Obviously she felt OK breastfeeding in front of him.  It probably just weirded him out so he told her to cover up, and then came up with excuses afterwards.  Whoop dee doo if he saw a nipple or something.  Women can breastfeed their children where they want, when they want.  
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    FWIW, out of my many friends and family members who have nursed openly in the past 15 years or so, not a single one of them cared if anybody was looking at their boob. Those who were worried about a nip slip, would cover up. The rest didn't see their breast as something to be ashamed of. They see it as the thing nourishing their child. There's a disconnect from seeing it as a sex object. And yes, they've specifically said these things, it's not my assumption.

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    grumbledore
  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    @shrekspeare What the actual fuck shrek? Why should a breastfeeding mother have to pump, or feed her fucking baby in a fucking public bathroom???? You're way smarter than this.

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    doeydoAngusaursal2015
  • I understand the cop's reasoning in this situation- You never know with people.  There are a lot of people out there who are extremely quick to stir shit up, and quick to accuse people of complete bullshit.  I wouldn't be surprised, and I'm sure the cop wouldn't have either, if that woman had accused him of harassment for seeing her breast, because some people just really, really love to accuse others and love having something to be upset about, especially when they can benefit from it (Even if the only benefit is attention.)  Frivolous accusations are all over the place.  He was just covering his ass in the (Very likely) event that she would be looking for things to get upset about.  In this situation it seems like it was less about "I am offended by a breast" and more about "I don't trust you to not stir up drama and accuse me of harassing you."  

    For breast feeding in general, I think the human body is the human body.  I think it's gross that we are taught to be ashamed of it.  I also think it's ridiculous when a woman gets offended by another woman's breasts (And I am ONLY being gender specific because the anatomy I am referring to is gender specific)  because they have breasts.  They see naked breasts every time they change or shower or are intimate.  How can you be offended by something that is on your body?  I think it's stupid for men to be offended by breasts as well, because again, it's just a damn body part, but to me having the same anatomy you're offended by just steps up the weirdness.  I don't look at my own breasts and get offended, so why should I be offended when I see them on others?

    That said, I do think some sort of etiquette should be considered in order to offend the fewest number of people (I say fewest because some people will always be offended so fuck them), although I have never, nor do I ever plan to breastfeed, so I wouldn't be entirely certain what that etiquette should be.  
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    pinkshorts27hellohkbhikebikebemerry
  • Hmm... this particular issue, I can see the cops' reasoning... although I feel like it was probably made up after the fact. Cops don't have any problem arresting naked hookers and whatnot. They were probably both a little in the wrong.

    In general though, I personally think that anyone who has a problem with moms nursing their babies needs to put a blanket over their own head. It's the most natural thing in the world and the biggest reason people are skeeved is because society has oversexualized something that shouldn't have been sexualized in the first place. Boobs are tools, not toys. And when the baby's head is in there you can't see anything anyway.
    I'd argue that breasts have been sexualized by men from the dawn of time. . . in the same way that  big hips and big butts have been sexualized.  They are signs of possible fecundity, or so the theories go.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."




  • Hmm... this particular issue, I can see the cops' reasoning... although I feel like it was probably made up after the fact. Cops don't have any problem arresting naked hookers and whatnot. They were probably both a little in the wrong.

    In general though, I personally think that anyone who has a problem with moms nursing their babies needs to put a blanket over their own head. It's the most natural thing in the world and the biggest reason people are skeeved is because society has oversexualized something that shouldn't have been sexualized in the first place. Boobs are tools, not toys. And when the baby's head is in there you can't see anything anyway.

    I'd argue that breasts have been sexualized by men from the dawn of time. . . in the same way that  big hips and big butts have been sexualized.  They are signs of possible fecundity, or so the theories go.


    They were seen as something that prolonged the species/your line...not "let's blow those up poster sized and line some mall windows with mountains of cleavage." I don't have a problem with individuals being attracted to those features privately/intimately... but what we've been turned into is totally different.
    "Better put those mammaries away, I might be lured by your fertility and tempted to drag you back to my cave to start our hunting clan." No.
    "Me see boobies. Me want motorboat."

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    larrygagaaleighc3chibiyui
  • FiancB said:
    monkeysip beat me to it. Lots of babies refuse to feed under cover or from a bottle. And pumping is a lot more hassle than you'd think, and you may not have a bottle ready to go in a given situation for whatever reason. In this case the mom was at home and started feeding before the cop got there. While I see potential reasons for him to not want to interview her like that, he could've waited. I think in this situation the cop was a bit ignorant and the mom was a bit reactionary.

    SHE called the cops. SHE knew they were coming. Why should the officer have to wait for her to finish before interviewing her? You call the cops when you need help NOW, not in a little bit. The officer never asked her to stop, he asked to cover up. My H is a cop and there are strict guidlines they have to follow when it comes to male vs female contact. If boobs are out in public and there is no female officer around the male officer MUST protect himself by requesting the woman to cover herself.
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    pinkshorts27jdluvr06lc07CLoGreenEyes
  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014
    I have to say that I agree that women should be able to breastfeed their children wherever and whenever they need to. A baby cannot necessarily wait for it to be convenient when they get hungry.

    However, in this situation, I can see where the cop is coming from. He has to protect himself (especially if there wasn't another officer on scene) for possible accusations. And I agree with @vk2204, she CALLED them! She knew they were coming and could have fed before then or be prepared to cover up while you're being interviewed. 

    We don't have all of the facts but in a way this seems a little blown out of proportion to me by them staging a sit in.

    ETF: formatting

    vk2204PrettyGirlLostSmileDamnitjdluvr06
  • @maggie0829 - very well said, thank you.
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  • You guys could think about it like this. Does a naked boob or screaming baby bother you more?
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    MairePoppy



  • banana468 said:

    @shrekspeare, your comments are really ignorant and at least borderline offensive. A nursing infant can't just wait and mom can't "just go pump. " Even if she DOES pump, she may not bring it with her wherever she goes. If her child was fussing from the car, exactly where should the mother go to feed the baby? Leaving the scene wasn't really an option here. Furthermore, suggesting that she nurse in a bathroom is repulsive. Would you eat YOUR lunch in the bathroom? It's actually illegal for an employer to tell a nursing mom that she needs to pump in the bathroom. They need to provide her with a private spot where she can do so throughout her work day as needed. As another knottie said, not all babies take a bottle or will nurse with a cover. You can't always cover up or the child may not eat. 
     That said, I think this could have been avoided by the cop asking if the mother was feeling up to giving a statement while she feed her child and the mom is really blowing this out of proportion. However, the police force needs to be more sensitive to this issue as a mother can nurse in public by law - the very things they are supposed to uphold.

    I 100% agree with the first section.

    The bolded gives me pause.  The text of the OP is so overly dramatic and one sided that I have a hard time believing it isn't biased by OP or the people who are telling her the story.  If the whole thing is as one sided as OP claimed, then the mother over-reacted.  

    As sensitive as people can be about this issue, I'm surprised that cops aren't given some training about this.  Cops are not supposed to tell breast feeding mothers to cover up in a lot of places.  I would be surprised if there wasn't more to this story.  

    Actually, he did exactly what he was trained to do. Cops to have training on this. My father is a police officer, and when I was chatting with him yesterday, he said his whole force is trained the same way this officer was. If there is no immediate danger, the woman can either cover up, or she gets to wait until another officer (female) is available. That could take 15-20 minutes which I'm sure she would have also had a bitch fit about considering how she handled this situation.

    That's interesting in the training. I still find it short sighted and a bit ridiculous but I understand that they want to protect themselves.

    Still, I find your overall statement about breastfeeding mothers to be extremely ignorant.

    grumbledorechkmeowtchibiyuidoeydo
  • "Still, I find your overall statement about breastfeeding mothers to be extremely ignorant. "

    I couldn't agree more.

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  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    edited April 2014
    Two points:

    1) I don't think women are offended by the sight of a breast per se, it's the bodily function aspect of it that grosses some people out a little.  I fall in the middle on this.  I don't care if you want to BF in the park, at a coffee shop etc, but I would be grossed out if you did it at the dinner table.  Breast milk can also carry diseases, etc. so I think this is where some people get squeamish.  

    2) If people think there should be no problem openly exposing boobs in the public for BFing, then why are they laws against toplessness?  Would you be okay if a woman who was hot on a 95 degree day decided to take off her shirt and bra and walk around topless because she felt uncomfortable in her clothes?
    [Deleted User]
  • Two points:


    1) I don't think women are offended by the sight of a breast per se, it's the bodily function aspect of it that grosses some people out a little.  I fall in the middle on this.  I don't care if you want to BF in the park, at a coffee shop etc, but I would be grossed out if you did it at the dinner table.  Breast milk can also carry diseases, etc. so I think this is where some people get squeamish.  

    2) If people think there should be no problem openly exposing boobs in the public for BFing, then why are they laws against toplessness?  Would you be okay if a woman who was hot on a 95 degree day decided to take off her shirt and bra and walk around topless because she felt uncomfortable in her clothes?
    1) You can make the same argument about saliva and those who cough/sneeze at the table.

    2) I rarely see a woman with full boob exposed while nursing. Most are extremely discrete about it so the only way you know is if you really stick your face in and look. By the way, many states DON'T have laws against going topless.
    grumbledorebethsmiles
  • On the subject of cops in general, I have two favorite groups of people to deal with my job, bikers and cops. I've done work on both and both groups are always extreamly poliet, well mannered, and none have ever treated me differently for being a female in a male dominated job. 

    I have a problem with assholes. I do not have a problem with cops. I will say that I try to avoid interactions with cops outside of my job but that's more, I don't want to go to jail and less anything to do with them (other then their ability to send me to jail).
    [Deleted User]pinkshorts27
  • banana468 said:
    Two points:

    1) I don't think women are offended by the sight of a breast per se, it's the bodily function aspect of it that grosses some people out a little.  I fall in the middle on this.  I don't care if you want to BF in the park, at a coffee shop etc, but I would be grossed out if you did it at the dinner table.  Breast milk can also carry diseases, etc. so I think this is where some people get squeamish.  

    2) If people think there should be no problem openly exposing boobs in the public for BFing, then why are they laws against toplessness?  Would you be okay if a woman who was hot on a 95 degree day decided to take off her shirt and bra and walk around topless because she felt uncomfortable in her clothes?
    1) You can make the same argument about saliva and those who cough/sneeze at the table. 2) I rarely see a woman with full boob exposed while nursing. Most are extremely discrete about it so the only way you know is if you really stick your face in and look. By the way, many states DON'T have laws against going topless.
    True, but the polite thing to do is cover up with a napkin/tissue.  Some BFers get offended when asked to cover up.

    As for exposed boobs, I personally don't really care, but I'm just pointing out that society in general is not necessarily okay with this, hence laws about going topless.  Even if a certain state does not have a law about going topless, if a woman started walking topless through a playground, how many people do you think would gawk and take their kids away?  It's just a response to the argument that people shouldn't care at all about seeing a boob (not the argument that boobs are not really exposed by BFing).
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • 2) If people think there should be no problem openly exposing boobs in the public for BFing, then why are they laws against toplessness?  Would you be okay if a woman who was hot on a 95 degree day decided to take off her shirt and bra and walk around topless because she felt uncomfortable in her clothes?
    Totally! In fact I think it's ridiculous women can't go topless and men can. I've gone topless in public (with pasties on, so totally legal), it was really no big deal. Well I had to make sure to put on more sunscreen. Sun burned boobs do not sound pleasant. 
    [Deleted User]grumbledorePrettyGirlLost

  • banana468 said:

    Two points:

    1) I don't think women are offended by the sight of a breast per se, it's the bodily function aspect of it that grosses some people out a little.  I fall in the middle on this.  I don't care if you want to BF in the park, at a coffee shop etc, but I would be grossed out if you did it at the dinner table.  Breast milk can also carry diseases, etc. so I think this is where some people get squeamish.  

    2) If people think there should be no problem openly exposing boobs in the public for BFing, then why are they laws against toplessness?  Would you be okay if a woman who was hot on a 95 degree day decided to take off her shirt and bra and walk around topless because she felt uncomfortable in her clothes?


    1) You can make the same argument about saliva and those who cough/sneeze at the table.


    2) I rarely see a woman with full boob exposed while nursing. Most are extremely discrete about it so the only way you know is if you really stick your face in and look. By the way, many states DON'T have laws against going topless.

    True, but the polite thing to do is cover up with a napkin/tissue.  Some BFers get offended when asked to cover up.

    As for exposed boobs, I personally don't really care, but I'm just pointing out that society in general is not necessarily okay with this, hence laws about going topless.  Even if a certain state does not have a law about going topless, if a woman started walking topless through a playground, how many people do you think would gawk and take their kids away?  It's just a response to the argument that people shouldn't care at all about seeing a boob (not the argument that boobs are not really exposed by BFing).


    You don't see a difference between walking around aimlessly and holding your hungry baby to your chest to be fed?
    grumbledore
  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    Two points:

    1) I don't think women are offended by the sight of a breast per se, it's the bodily function aspect of it that grosses some people out a little.  I fall in the middle on this.  I don't care if you want to BF in the park, at a coffee shop etc, but I would be grossed out if you did it at the dinner table.  Breast milk can also carry diseases, etc. so I think this is where some people get squeamish.  

    2) If people think there should be no problem openly exposing boobs in the public for BFing, then why are they laws against toplessness?  Would you be okay if a woman who was hot on a 95 degree day decided to take off her shirt and bra and walk around topless because she felt uncomfortable in her clothes?
    1) You can make the same argument about saliva and those who cough/sneeze at the table. 2) I rarely see a woman with full boob exposed while nursing. Most are extremely discrete about it so the only way you know is if you really stick your face in and look. By the way, many states DON'T have laws against going topless.
    True, but the polite thing to do is cover up with a napkin/tissue.  Some BFers get offended when asked to cover up.

    As for exposed boobs, I personally don't really care, but I'm just pointing out that society in general is not necessarily okay with this, hence laws about going topless.  Even if a certain state does not have a law about going topless, if a woman started walking topless through a playground, how many people do you think would gawk and take their kids away?  It's just a response to the argument that people shouldn't care at all about seeing a boob (not the argument that boobs are not really exposed by BFing).
    You don't see a difference between walking around aimlessly and holding your hungry baby to your chest to be fed?
    Why do you assume aimlessly?  What if she is walking through the park for exercise?  or sunbathing on a Sunday in a public park?  There's a double standard about when it's okay to be offended by boobs.
  • jdluvr06 said:
    Just still looking at it from the cop's POV, I still maintain he had a valid concern. We live in an age where people are sue happy, blame happy, etc. I know some people's comments here have made the issue turn to whether or not women should publicly breastfeed, but I am still ONLY looking at it from the question of whether or not the cop did anything wrong. 

    As a high school teacher, I deal with breasts on a daily basis. They are everywhere, folks. Many of these girls are so inappropriately dressed.  For me, it's totally fine to tell a female student she needs to cover up. Our male teachers tend not to say a word. Why? Because every time they do, the young lady freaks out about "Why was Mr. So and So looking at my boobs, anyway?! He's a fucking pervert!" I have had 2 male colleague friends end up under investigation for pervy conduct as a result of this. I feel like the cop DID need to protect himself from potential problems b/c it happens all the time. 


    ITA. There are so many women (well so many people but we are talking women specific stuff here) who are quick to scream pervert, abuser (see my BSC aunt thread for an example of that), or discrimination at the drop of a hat. It is hard to blame the people who want to protect themselves and make sure that there is no way they can be accused of improper behavior.
    Exactly. And to demand that he be sent to sensitivity training? Really? 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    PrettyGirlLost

  • banana468 said:


    banana468 said:

    Two points:

    1) I don't think women are offended by the sight of a breast per se, it's the bodily function aspect of it that grosses some people out a little.  I fall in the middle on this.  I don't care if you want to BF in the park, at a coffee shop etc, but I would be grossed out if you did it at the dinner table.  Breast milk can also carry diseases, etc. so I think this is where some people get squeamish.  

    2) If people think there should be no problem openly exposing boobs in the public for BFing, then why are they laws against toplessness?  Would you be okay if a woman who was hot on a 95 degree day decided to take off her shirt and bra and walk around topless because she felt uncomfortable in her clothes?


    1) You can make the same argument about saliva and those who cough/sneeze at the table.


    2) I rarely see a woman with full boob exposed while nursing. Most are extremely discrete about it so the only way you know is if you really stick your face in and look. By the way, many states DON'T have laws against going topless.

    True, but the polite thing to do is cover up with a napkin/tissue.  Some BFers get offended when asked to cover up.

    As for exposed boobs, I personally don't really care, but I'm just pointing out that society in general is not necessarily okay with this, hence laws about going topless.  Even if a certain state does not have a law about going topless, if a woman started walking topless through a playground, how many people do you think would gawk and take their kids away?  It's just a response to the argument that people shouldn't care at all about seeing a boob (not the argument that boobs are not really exposed by BFing).


    You don't see a difference between walking around aimlessly and holding your hungry baby to your chest to be fed?



    Why do you assume aimlessly?  What if she is walking through the park for exercise?  or sunbathing on a Sunday in a public park?  There's a double standard about when it's okay to be offended by boobs.



    You assume that nursing without a cover = boobies for the world to see.

    I don't think it's a double standard. One is feeding a child that is too young to feed himself. The other is doing something that doesn't sustain the life of a dependant. Again, I think I take issue because I've never seen a mom nurse in public who wasn't discrete even if a cover wasn't used.

    I will say I agree in general about some double standards though. We used to have a teenage girl here who was hired to clean the office and empty the garbage into the dumpsters out back. She often wore tight jeans, low cut strappy tank tops and heels and complained when the men in the factory gave her looks. I was about 5 years older than her and said that if she wasn't giving them a show they wouldn't be looking.
    hellohkbPrettyGirlLostMairePoppymonkeysip
  • Two points:

    1) I don't think women are offended by the sight of a breast per se, it's the bodily function aspect of it that grosses some people out a little.  I fall in the middle on this.  I don't care if you want to BF in the park, at a coffee shop etc, but I would be grossed out if you did it at the dinner table.  Breast milk can also carry diseases, etc. so I think this is where some people get squeamish.  

    2) If people think there should be no problem openly exposing boobs in the public for BFing, then why are they laws against toplessness?  Would you be okay if a woman who was hot on a 95 degree day decided to take off her shirt and bra and walk around topless because she felt uncomfortable in her clothes?
    Good point. I actually think it's absurd that women are required to cover their breasts.

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