My entire Bridal Party SUCKS!!

amelisha

I'm now firmly in the MUD camp. This cannot be a real person. No adult actually acts like this, right?

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie74816426 said:

I'm also new to this community. Recommended by a friend...

I'm no mother Theresa but you guys are super mean. Whoa,  I've never seen such nastiness from brides towards other brides!  If these communities are to uplift, support, and advise each other during our process at what point do you start calling "bitches" "trolls" etc?! Are we adults or what?! Geesh.

These forums are not to uplift or support other brides. . .again, planning a wedding is not a traumatic event where o e would require support. Planning a wedding should be a fun and joyous occasion.


However, these forums *are* meant to give advice. And that's what we have been doing. We are absolutely adults. Adults are often direct and blunt with each other, and sometimes they swear.

plainjane0415

Knottie74816426 said:

levioosa said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

thisismynickname said:

Ok, let me try one more time.

An "arm around the shoulder" is something a friend does no matter what. That's not a bridesmaid duty. Maybe you have more of a friend issue and less of a bridesmaid issue at this point. 

Seriously. I'm not trying to be mean when I say that. I see my best friend (who was a BM) once or twice a week. We talk about all kinds of things, which is why she's my best friend. If I needed to vent about issues with my hotel block--- issues I personally was dealing with, no one else-- then she listened, because she's a good friend. 

If your friends aren't even being supportive about wedding stuff--- changing the subject every time you mention the wedding, for example--- maybe you should do some self reflection and ask yourself why your friends aren't putting their arms around your shoulders as much as you'd like them too. Do you talk about nothing else but wedding stuff? Do you ask them about their lives? Are you being a good friend to them?  Take some time to self reflect and make sure at the end of all this that you still have friends. 

It's a wedding though.  Why does the OP or anyone need support?

Support is something you need when facing a terminal or grave health diagnosis, when a loved one dies, when you discover infidelity in your relationship, when you need to help hide body. . . people need support to deal with terrible, awful, fucked up shit in their lives.  Planning a wedding should not be described as such nor lumped into the same grouping with the examples I just gave.

I get needing support when family drama hits the fan (like the poster whose MIL wrote her son out her will for refusing to acquiesce to her demands) or when Mom takes the invitations, photo copies them, and hands them out like candy, but I don't get people who think that they "need support" for things like researching venues, planning, picking vendors, or doing projects.  Nope, those are all on you.  No "support" needed. 

and I get support as being whatever is needed. When someone graduates, attendance is "support". Got a kid playing a game, you go to "support". Sorry dear, support is not limited to being terminally ill. If thats the only time you'll get or give it, I feel sorry for ya!

Right, and someone gets engaged and asks you to be in their bridal party, you show up on the day of the wedding and "support" them.  Just like your said graduation, and kid playing a game.  It's no different and no pre event support is needed.

plainjane0415

Knottie74816426 said:

LOL! She was called "bitchy" multiple times. I know. huge difference right?!

plainjane0415 said:

Knottie74816426 said:

I'm also new to this community. Recommended by a friend...

I'm no mother Theresa but you guys are super mean. Whoa,  I've never seen such nastiness from brides towards other brides!  If these communities are to uplift, support, and advise each other during our process at what point do you start calling "bitches" "trolls" etc?! Are we adults or what?! Geesh.

I don't think anyone referred to the OP as a bitch. 

Yea no one even referred to her as bitchy.  Good try, though.

redoryx

I am now convinced the OP either created a sock puppet or asked a friend to join because she needed a white knight.

larrygaga

princessofgenovia

Knottie74816426 said:

I'm also new to this community. Recommended by a friend...

I'm no mother Theresa but you guys are super mean. Whoa,  I've never seen such nastiness from brides towards other brides!  If these communities are to uplift, support, and advise each other during our process at what point do you start calling "bitches" "trolls" etc?! Are we adults or what?! Geesh.

What you're describing, is a bra.

ohannabelle

I always laugh at the need for "support."

How does that go? 

"Help me. I've fallen in love with a wonderful person and we're planning to spend our lives together. I need to buy a beautiful dress, a great cake, and plan a wonderful party. I have a year to do this. I NEED SUPPORT, BECAUSE THIS IS TOO HARD TO HANDLE."

Next thing you know, people will be bringing presents. Keep the crisis line on speed dial. 

blushingbride8888

Oh WOW. Someone needs a glass of wine....

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie74816426 said:

levioosa said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

thisismynickname said:

Ok, let me try one more time.

An "arm around the shoulder" is something a friend does no matter what. That's not a bridesmaid duty. Maybe you have more of a friend issue and less of a bridesmaid issue at this point. 

Seriously. I'm not trying to be mean when I say that. I see my best friend (who was a BM) once or twice a week. We talk about all kinds of things, which is why she's my best friend. If I needed to vent about issues with my hotel block--- issues I personally was dealing with, no one else-- then she listened, because she's a good friend. 

If your friends aren't even being supportive about wedding stuff--- changing the subject every time you mention the wedding, for example--- maybe you should do some self reflection and ask yourself why your friends aren't putting their arms around your shoulders as much as you'd like them too. Do you talk about nothing else but wedding stuff? Do you ask them about their lives? Are you being a good friend to them?  Take some time to self reflect and make sure at the end of all this that you still have friends. 

It's a wedding though.  Why does the OP or anyone need support?

Support is something you need when facing a terminal or grave health diagnosis, when a loved one dies, when you discover infidelity in your relationship, when you need to help hide body. . . people need support to deal with terrible, awful, fucked up shit in their lives.  Planning a wedding should not be described as such nor lumped into the same grouping with the examples I just gave.

I get needing support when family drama hits the fan (like the poster whose MIL wrote her son out her will for refusing to acquiesce to her demands) or when Mom takes the invitations, photo copies them, and hands them out like candy, but I don't get people who think that they "need support" for things like researching venues, planning, picking vendors, or doing projects.  Nope, those are all on you.  No "support" needed. 



and I get support as being whatever is needed. When someone graduates, attendance is "support". Got a kid playing a game, you go to "support". Sorry dear, support is not limited to being terminally ill. If thats the only time you'll get or give it, I feel sorry for ya!


When someone graduates, you attend to celebrate the momentous occasion with them. That's not support to me. . .you are celebrating with them.

When you attend a child's extracurricular activity, fine that might be support. But you understand my point whether you choose to accept it.

I've been a BM over 10 times. My friends typically did not ask or expect me to go on group dress shopping trips, have planning meetings, stuff envelopes, or help with DIY prohects. And for the most part I didn't offer to be involved in any of that because it's not necessary and not really something I'm interested in doing, honestly.

That doesn't mean I didn't "support" them. If they wanted to bitch about drama, I was there. I was there ready to celebrate with them on their wedding days too.

PrettyGirlLost

redoryx said:

I am now convinced the OP either created a sock puppet or asked a friend to join because she needed a white knight.

I didn't think newbs could post for a certain period after joining?

Maggie0829

PrettyGirlLost said:

I am now convinced the OP either created a sock puppet or asked a friend to join because she needed a white knight.

I didn't think newbs could post for a certain period after joining?

Yeah, I thought there was a 3 day waiting period.

MobKaz

PrettyGirlLost said:

I'm also new to this community. Recommended by a friend...

I'm no mother Theresa but you guys are super mean. Whoa,  I've never seen such nastiness from brides towards other brides!  If these communities are to uplift, support, and advise each other during our process at what point do you start calling "bitches" "trolls" etc?! Are we adults or what?! Geesh.

These forums are not to uplift or support other brides. . .again, planning a wedding is not a traumatic event where o e would require support. Planning a wedding should be a fun and joyous occasion. However, these forums *are* meant to give advice. And that's what we have been doing. We are absolutely adults. Adults are often direct and blunt with each other, and sometimes they swear.

Adults are often super direct and super blunt, and sometimes they super swear.

[Deleted User]

ohannabelle

pinkrevenge said:

Knottie74816426 said:

I'm also new to this community. Recommended by a friend...

I'm no mother Theresa but you guys are super mean. Whoa,  I've never seen such nastiness from brides towards other brides!  If these communities are to uplift, support, and advise each other during our process at what point do you start calling "bitches" "trolls" etc?! Are we adults or what?! Geesh.

Who said it was about that? If your opinion and planning is bad you should know.
did you even read the OP?

Read it? 

I thought she wrote it.

redoryx

Maggie0829 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I am now convinced the OP either created a sock puppet or asked a friend to join because she needed a white knight.

I didn't think newbs could post for a certain period after joining?

Yeah, I thought there was a 3 day waiting period.

That's what I thought too but if you check it says she joined today so IDK

Maggie0829

redoryx said:

Maggie0829 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I am now convinced the OP either created a sock puppet or asked a friend to join because she needed a white knight.

I didn't think newbs could post for a certain period after joining?

Yeah, I thought there was a 3 day waiting period.

That's what I thought too but if you check it says she joined today so IDK

Maybe the day you are allowed to post is the day it says you joined?  I mean this is TK so I am sure there is some ass backwards way of thinking going on here.

novella1186

redoryx said:

I am now convinced the OP either created a sock puppet or asked a friend to join because she needed a white knight.

No, she needed SUPPORT. Don't you see the theme here? Her friends owe her support for planning her Big Day and they also owe her support when she creates a shitstorm on the interwebz and can't handle the fallout. It's all about support, guys! Someone validate me and back me up. Existing in the world is scary. I need all of your support! Hurry!

Cookie Pusher

If OP needs support, I found the perfect bridal party for her.

VulgarGirl

There was a time in my life when I really needed my friends support. When I need them to listen to me cry, to hold my hand, and lift me up. This time was not when I was planning my wedding but rather when my mother was sick and we didn't know if she'd make it. And they were there. They answered my calls, made meals, cleaned my mom's house, and sat with me in hospital rooms.

When I got married? They were there the day I got married. They ate food drank booze and had cake. Some were there for pre events some weren't. But whatever. They were still perfect friends. Cause when the hand ringing shit hitting the fan parts of life happen, the dark parts of life , that's when they're right there.

jacques27

ohannabelle said:

I always laugh at the need for "support."

How does that go? 

"Help me. I've fallen in love with a wonderful person and we're planning to spend our lives together. I need to buy a beautiful dress, a great cake, and plan a wonderful party. I have a year to do this. I NEED SUPPORT, BECAUSE THIS IS TOO HARD TO HANDLE."

Next thing you know, people will be bringing presents. Keep the crisis line on speed dial. 

ohannabelle, I could make a full time job of just following you around and clicking "love it" to everything you say.

Will someone, someone in the "WAH! My bridal party isn't helping me enough or supporting me!" camp, please explain what help is actually needed.

YOU ARE PLANNING A PARTY!

Seriously, if you can't manage planning a party without "help" and "support", maybe you need to rethink the party and the reason for it.

It's not cancer.  You're not grieving for a lost significant other while trying to hold it together for your four kids who just lost their parent.  You're not rebuilding your life after losing all your earthly possessions in a house fire.

You are getting married to presumably the love your life AND PLANNING A PARTY!

If you want to come on here bitch about your friends not offering rides to and from your chemo treatments, not bringing you casseroles so you don't have to worry about cooking for your kids while you figure out how to carry on without your spouse, or not scrounging together extra clothes and supplies from their houses after losing it all...by all means do so and then I will gladly give you a virtual hug and some validation over your hurt that it seems like your friends are ignoring you in your time of need.  Until then, I pray that you can somehow find the strength and courage to continue your brave journey planning your party all by your lonesome self.

rnsoon

I have a VERY hard time believing people are this absolutely stupid and inconsiderate. Craziness.

Edited because I posted, then realized that with the IQ level OP may have, she may think I'm defending her. OP, I am most definitely not directing the above at the other posters. Yes. It's directed at you.

thespeshulestsnowflake

I'm curious as to where OP's FI is in all this. If she needs this much support, I would think FI would be who I would go to first. Since that's, like, who OP is marrying.

mrsdee15

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

I'm curious as to where OP's FI is in all this. If she needs this much support, I would think FI would be who I would go to first. Since that's, like, who OP is marrying.

Pretty sure there isn't one and this OP is completely MUD.  Thought about commenting, but dem tantrums doe.  

[Deleted User]

You know, I would call MUD but the OP sounds exactly like the bride who shared a lot of the same sentiments with me this past summer when she expressed how her bridal party didn't meet expectations. And you know what?  We're not friends anymore for this reason.  I imagine if the OP's bridal party were aware of the fit she has thrown on this board, they would rethink their friendship.

lyndausvi

This would have solved all your problems  (click)

MadHops21

Guys, it's okay, I got this 

plainjane0415

ahh! That pug!

amelisha

ohannabelle said:

I always laugh at the need for "support."

How does that go? 

"Help me. I've fallen in love with a wonderful person and we're planning to spend our lives together. I need to buy a beautiful dress, a great cake, and plan a wonderful party. I have a year to do this. I NEED SUPPORT, BECAUSE THIS IS TOO HARD TO HANDLE."

Next thing you know, people will be bringing presents. Keep the crisis line on speed dial. 

Had to quote this because liking it wasn't enough. Post of the day. Post of the month!

fwtx5815

amelisha said:

ohannabelle said:

I always laugh at the need for "support."

How does that go? 

"Help me. I've fallen in love with a wonderful person and we're planning to spend our lives together. I need to buy a beautiful dress, a great cake, and plan a wonderful party. I have a year to do this. I NEED SUPPORT, BECAUSE THIS IS TOO HARD TO HANDLE."

Next thing you know, people will be bringing presents. Keep the crisis line on speed dial. 

Had to quote this because liking it wasn't enough. Post of the day. Post of the month!

I almost peed myself