Honeymoon registry-still tacky?

Knottie1440377846

Perfectly acceptable and reasonable to have a honeymoon registry assuming your wedding is taking place after 1920.

Otherwise agree with other posters here.

AddieCake

Knottie1440377846 said:

Perfectly acceptable and reasonable to have a honeymoon registry assuming your wedding is taking place after 1920. Otherwise agree with other posters here.

Uhhhh, no. Thanks for playing.

justsie

Whomp, Whomp

SP29

@perdj182XXXX Really! I am a bit surprised with that. Most stores are pretty good about returns, particularly since you can say, "Here is my registry- note that I have received two of the same items because one wasn't scanned from the registry". Guess it depends on what store you deal with. 

We went with BB&B and they mentioned any returns are not a big deal.

We had a larger registry and got mostly cash gifts. To some degree, know your crowd. If you know your family is big into gifts, then I would go bigger with the registry. My family gives a lot of cash gifts in general (birthdays, etc). But back to the original post of a HM registry- having one still won't stop guests who want to buy you physical gifts from buying that either. 

MyNameIsNot

Knottie1440377846 said:

Perfectly acceptable and reasonable to have a honeymoon registry assuming your wedding is taking place after 1920. Otherwise agree with other posters here.

It was rude in July, 2015, and it's still rude in September, 2015.

You can try bumping this thread in another few months, but it's still going to be rude as hell to register for a honeymoon. 

delujm0

Just jumping in to add...

...yes, if you want money, just have a small registry.  HOWEVER, if you only have a small registry, you probably shouldn't have a shower (unless the registry is large enough to cover shower gifts).  You should not expect cash shower gifts.  Showers are for physical gifts.  So if you invite 30 people to a shower, and your registry only has 10 items on it...you're likely going to get some random boxed gifts.  as a guest to that shower, I'd be really annoyed to hop on the registry and see that everything was already gone because it wasn't large enough to accommodate the shower guests.

honeymoon registries are always tacky, but I also want to point out that the excuse "we could use money for our honeymoon" isn't a good one...especially if you're planning to book the honeymoon in anticipation of receiving cash gifts.  yes, with a small registry most people will assume you want cash, but you never actually know what you're going to get until you have that cash in hand.  if you need money to pay for your honeymoon, I would advise not booking said honeymoon until after the wedding is over, so you know how much money you have to spend.  nothing worse than starting your married life with a mountain of debt that you went into over an unnecessary vacation.

Knottie1440377846

Tacky is subjective.  Simple as that.

Perfectly fine to do whatever type of registry feels right for you. 





 

justsie

Knottie1440377846 said:

Tacky is subjective.  Simple as that.

Perfectly fine to do whatever type of registry feels right for you. 



*BOX BOX BOX*

It is rude to set up a registry that decives the people gifting you. 

 

Viczaesar

Knottie1440377846 said:

Tacky is subjective.  Simple as that.

Perfectly fine to do whatever type of registry feels right for you. 





 

Tacky is subjective.  This isn't just tacky, it's rude and bad manners.

MyNameIsNot

Knottie1440377846 said:

Tacky is subjective.  Simple as that.

Perfectly fine to do whatever type of registry feels right for you. 

 

Tacky is subjective. Rude is not. Registering for a honeymoon is rude. Many find it tacky as well. 

PrettyGirlLost

MyNameIsNot said:

Knottie1440377846 said:

Tacky is subjective.  Simple as that.

Perfectly fine to do whatever type of registry feels right for you. 

 

Tacky is subjective. Rude is not. Registering for a honeymoon is rude. Many find it tacky as well. 

Yeah, outright asking other people for money- which is what honeymon funds, GoFundMes, etc. do- is and always has been straight up rude.

A honeymoon is a glorified vacation.  Adults should be able to pay for their own vacations, or else not go on them.  Don't ask other people for money to pay for your vacation.

TheCheeseWench

Knottie1440377846 said:

Tacky is subjective.  Simple as that.

Perfectly fine to do whatever type of registry feels right for you. 





 

NO. A honeymoon registry is RUDE, and a total breach of etiquette, which is NOT subjective.

Lurkers - there are people on here with very poor manners. Be wary of the (generally unpopular) advice that you can do whatever you want because it is "your day". You may as well go out panhandling on the side of the freeway. Or in this case, at the end of your friend's block.

Lizzieyounce

No one should pay for any part of your boinkfest, except for the people going on said boinkfest.

wmam35

I didn't go on a honeymoon because we couldn't afford a honeymoon.  It pisses me off when people ask me for money to help fund a vacation when I can't afford my own.

julieanne912

wmam35 said:

I didn't go on a honeymoon because we couldn't afford a honeymoon.  It pisses me off when people ask me for money to help fund a vacation when I can't afford my own.

QFT.

And, to anybody who thinks it's OK, consider this.  My cousin did a honeymoon registry, and me, not knowing how they really worked, "bought" her a $50 experience... I forget what it was... dinner or something.  Here we are, 15 months later, and my cousin and her H still have yet to go on a honeymoon.  Her sister told me they might take one NEXT summer (so a full 2 years after their wedding)  So me, as the giver, started worrying about my gift being wasted.  Then I found out that they just took the cash from the honeymoon site and kept it (after the site took their fees).  Again, me, the giver, felt like I was very misled about how those sites worked, and wished I had just given them the cash in the first place, or come up with a nice gift of equal value, as I'm not big on giving straight cash usually. 

CaseyBoBasey

I feel like wedding guests who are ok with honeymoon registries don't actually understand how they work. For example, I just went to a wedding that had a honeymoon registry, and my mom bought the couple a "train ticket" off of their list. She thought she was actually buying them a real, physical train ticket that they would use on their honeymoon, which she thought was really cool. I then explained to her that, no, she didn't actually buy them a train ticket. They listed "train tickets" as something they needed for their honeymoon. I told her that the money she gave them just went into an online account and that the website would likely take 3% of what she gave them. She was quite disappointed by that.  

Pupatella

CaseyBoBasey said:

I feel like wedding guests who are ok with honeymoon registries don't actually understand how they work. For example, I just went to a wedding that had a honeymoon registry, and my mom bought the couple a "train ticket" off of their list. She thought she was actually buying them a real, physical train ticket that they would use on their honeymoon, which she thought was really cool. I then explained to her that, no, she didn't actually buy them a train ticket. They listed "train tickets" as something they needed for their honeymoon. I told her that the money she gave them just went into an online account and that the website would likely take 3% of what she gave them. She was quite disappointed by that.  

Yes!!!

I had no clue how they worked either until I read the details on this board.

One of my coworkers has a honey fund for home improvements (tools, labor, etc.) They don't even own a home, they live in an apartment. They set up the honey fund for whenever they buy a home in the "future". Huge scam to me. 

Knottie1440377846

I have just as much right to say it's ok and acceptable based on my experience and view on the world as you do to say it's tacky and rude.

Speaking of rude, alot of you seem to think people who set up a Hmoon registry are out to "scam" their wedding guests.  Classy attitude.

onefootinthebayou

Pupatella said:

CaseyBoBasey said:

I feel like wedding guests who are ok with honeymoon registries don't actually understand how they work. For example, I just went to a wedding that had a honeymoon registry, and my mom bought the couple a "train ticket" off of their list. She thought she was actually buying them a real, physical train ticket that they would use on their honeymoon, which she thought was really cool. I then explained to her that, no, she didn't actually buy them a train ticket. They listed "train tickets" as something they needed for their honeymoon. I told her that the money she gave them just went into an online account and that the website would likely take 3% of what she gave them. She was quite disappointed by that.  

Yes!!!

I had no clue how they worked either until I read the details on this board.

One of my coworkers has a honey fund for home improvements (tools, labor, etc.) They don't even own a home, they live in an apartment. They set up the honey fund for whenever they buy a home in the "future". Huge scam to me. 

That's not a "honey fund", it is literally the online equivalent of a tin cup.  SO gross.  Even referring to it as a "honey fund" is disingenuous b/c it makes it sound like you are giving them $ for the actual honey moon.  You can't have a "honeymoon" fund for home improvements.  Ugh.  Just no.  

onefootinthebayou

Knottie1440377846 said:

I have just as much right to say it's ok and acceptable based on my experience and view on the world as you do to say it's tacky and rude.

Speaking of rude, alot of you seem to think people who set up a Hmoon registry are out to "scam" their wedding guests.  Classy attitude.

Ugh, not this again.

No one is threatening your rights to do or say something tacky and rude b/c you don't think it is.  We are just pointing out what etiquette (good manners) dictates and that is that it's rude to ask for money.  Period.  Simply b/c you don't know something is rude, doesn't mean that it isn't.  

Also, no one is deliberately accusing people who set up a HM registry of scamming their guests intentionally.  Sharing information about how the system works does not equal an accusation.  In fact, I think a lot of people here appreciate learning that information.  I personally contributed to two HM funds in the past, unwittingly knowing that I was NOT in fact buying the couple surf lessons and pool side drinks.  I'm HAPPY that the "classy" posters here pointed that out to me.  They provided information, I processed it, and now I use it to make decisions.  It's called learning.  

Oh, and here's a great article on being "entitled to your opinion":  http://theconversation.com/no-youre-not-entitled-to-your-opinion-9978

MyNameIsNot

Knottie1440377846 said:

I have just as much right to say it's ok and acceptable based on my experience and view on the world as you do to say it's tacky and rude.

Speaking of rude, alot of you seem to think people who set up a Hmoon registry are out to "scam" their wedding guests.  Classy attitude.

Actually, no. Tacky is subjective and a matter of opinion. You can be of the opinion that rose gold is tacky while plastic shoes are not if that's what you desire. 

Rude is not subjective. Rude is the opposite of etiquette. Cash registries and honeymoon registries are violations of etiquette and therefore factually rude. Whether something is rude is not a matter of opinion. 

You may be willing to accept that level of rude, but that doesn't change the fact that it is rude. I'm ok with my nephews' loud burping, but I realize that my personal acceptance has not somehow changed the rules of table etiquette. 

Yes, you have every right to say that honeymoon registries are not rude, but it's as absurd as you saying that the sun revolves around the earth. It's simply not true, and people are going to correct you. 

Heffalump

onefootinthebayou said:

Knottie1440377846 said:

I have just as much right to say it's ok and acceptable based on my experience and view on the world as you do to say it's tacky and rude.

Speaking of rude, alot of you seem to think people who set up a Hmoon registry are out to "scam" their wedding guests.  Classy attitude.

Ugh, not this again.

No one is threatening your rights to do or say something tacky and rude b/c you don't think it is.  We are just pointing out what etiquette (good manners) dictates and that is that it's rude to ask for money.  Period.  Simply b/c you don't know something is rude, doesn't mean that it isn't.  

Also, no one is deliberately accusing people who set up a HM registry of scamming their guests intentionally.  Sharing information about how the system works does not equal an accusation.  In fact, I think a lot of people here appreciate learning that information.  I personally contributed to two HM funds in the past, unwittingly knowing that I was NOT in fact buying the couple surf lessons and pool side drinks.  I'm HAPPY that the "classy" posters here pointed that out to me.  They provided information, I processed it, and now I use it to make decisions.  It's called learning.  

Oh, and here's a great article on being "entitled to your opinion":  http://theconversation.com/no-youre-not-entitled-to-your-opinion-9978

::raises hand::  Count me among the people who thought a HM registry actually paid for certain items related to the honeymoon (cabana, dinner, etc.).  When I found out that it's really the price of the thing minus whatever "service fee," I decided to cut out the middle man and just give cash.  That way, the couple gets my whole gift, not 93% (or however much) of it. 

Also, tacky and rude are not synonymous.  Tacky is a matter of opinion--someone may find my outfit tacky, but it's a victimless crime.  Rude is treating others poorly, which good people should (presumably) want to avoid.  I don't care about the former (except for maybe a snarky aside here or there), but the latter is important. 

leroweb

On a wedding group I am in on facebook a woman literally was raving about honey fund a website
Sbe said the best part of they send checks its straight to you and you can use the money for anything you want

Everyone was so excited. I threw up in my mouth

Pupatella

onefootinthebayou said:

Pupatella said:

CaseyBoBasey said:

I feel like wedding guests who are ok with honeymoon registries don't actually understand how they work. For example, I just went to a wedding that had a honeymoon registry, and my mom bought the couple a "train ticket" off of their list. She thought she was actually buying them a real, physical train ticket that they would use on their honeymoon, which she thought was really cool. I then explained to her that, no, she didn't actually buy them a train ticket. They listed "train tickets" as something they needed for their honeymoon. I told her that the money she gave them just went into an online account and that the website would likely take 3% of what she gave them. She was quite disappointed by that.  

Yes!!!

I had no clue how they worked either until I read the details on this board.

One of my coworkers has a honey fund for home improvements (tools, labor, etc.) They don't even own a home, they live in an apartment. They set up the honey fund for whenever they buy a home in the "future". Huge scam to me. 

That's not a "honey fund", it is literally the online equivalent of a tin cup.  SO gross.  Even referring to it as a "honey fund" is disingenuous b/c it makes it sound like you are giving them $ for the actual honey moon.  You can't have a "honeymoon" fund for home improvements.  Ugh.  Just no.  

Ha exactly!! Now that I know how it works, it's even more ridiculous. I really wish I could share this with you so you could see what I'm seeing. They are asking their guests for almost $20k on their honeyfund for "home repairs, labor, tools, and supplies". No no no no no.

onefootinthebayou

MyNameIsNot said:

Knottie1440377846 said:

I have just as much right to say it's ok and acceptable based on my experience and view on the world as you do to say it's tacky and rude.

Speaking of rude, alot of you seem to think people who set up a Hmoon registry are out to "scam" their wedding guests.  Classy attitude.

Actually, no. Tacky is subjective and a matter of opinion. You can be of the opinion that rose gold is tacky while plastic shoes are not if that's what you desire. 

Rude is not subjective. Rude is the opposite of etiquette. Cash registries and honeymoon registries are violations of etiquette and therefore factually rude. Whether something is rude is not a matter of opinion. 

You may be willing to accept that level of rude, but that doesn't change the fact that it is rude. I'm ok with my nephews' loud burping, but I realize that my personal acceptance has not somehow changed the rules of table etiquette. 

Yes, you have every right to say that honeymoon registries are not rude, but it's as absurd as you saying that the sun revolves around the earth. It's simply not true, and people are going to correct you. 

Your logic has no place here!

Knottie1440377846

Where does it say it's against etiquette?  

Not trying to start a fight here but don't get the hostility about this - if someone wants to do a Hmoon registry, why pass judgment?  

Are you tracking all your wedding gifts to make sure people don't return them & "scam" you for store credit?  Do you take notes of etiquette violations at other people's special day?  Feel sorry for people with this attitude.

[Deleted User]

Knottie1440377846 said:

Where does it say it's against etiquette?  

Not trying to start a fight here but don't get the hostility about this - if someone wants to do a Hmoon registry, why pass judgment?  

Are you tracking all your wedding gifts to make sure people don't return them & "scam" you for store credit?  Do you take notes of etiquette violations at other people's special day?  Feel sorry for people with this attitude.

The first and only rule of etiquette is "Don't Be An Asshole".  The end.  Asking people for money is an asshole move.  Pure and simple.  Don't be an asshole.  Asking people who can't afford to go on vacation for cash to go on a vacation is an asshole move.  Don't be an asshole.

Oh, and as for the "special day" thing.  Well, it's my fucking day too.  As long as I don't die between today and my friend's wedding, her "special" day is my day too.  You don't become a princess for a day with unlimited powers to be unjudged when pulling asshole moves just because you're doing something (getting married) that people do Every Fucking Day.

Knottie1440377846

Wow - relax.

Read your post and tell me who sounds like the a-hole.

MyNameIsNot

Knottie1440377846 said:

Where does it say it's against etiquette?  

Not trying to start a fight here but don't get the hostility about this - if someone wants to do a Hmoon registry, why pass judgment?  

Are you tracking all your wedding gifts to make sure people don't return them & "scam" you for store credit?  Do you take notes of etiquette violations at other people's special day?  Feel sorry for people with this attitude.

Try Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding. Link

Although may industry sites purport to offer etiquette advice, Miss Manners publications are generally accepted as the etiquette bible. 

Knottie1440377846

Sounds like you need a vacation - if you'd like I'd be happy to set up a honeymoon fund for you.