FMIL crisis

kimmiinthemitten

Worrying about using her FMILs home for a party without worrying about how she's treating her friends and family throughout these chain of events is like standing in the living room debating paint colors while your house is on fire.

redoryx

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

missa011

Wow. Just what I needed this morning.

Knottie#s, no one here bullied OP. They provided GOOD and honest feedback about etiquette and gave her a perspective from her guest's POV that she might not have been considering.

This is a public forum on the internet. No one is just going to tell you what you want to hear but that doesn't mean it's bullying. As PPs have said please consider those who go through actual bullying before you throw that term around.

ShesSoCold

redoryx said:

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

My exact thought. 

lnixon8

kimmiandkoley said:

How was the fact that along with the wool pea coat, the fact that they are wearing regular, NOT snow boots missed?  Also, I want to know what your BM's are wearing under the pea coat?  I love  winter.  I'm one of those weirdos that really does.  But no way in hell am I wearing a pea coat and random boots outside in Northern Michigan in March.

I'm a Michigander too (so I guess, thanks for loving The Mitten!) and I live in my Hunters with wooly socks for most of November - March.  For the really cold, snowy days, I have about 4 pairs of various wool lined boots to choose from.

Oh, and I'm also a winter wedding bride.  I have planned an indoor ceremony and reception in the same building so there is no travel between, with complimentary shuttle from the hotel, complimentary valet at the door, and complimentary coat check.  You know why?  Because if I'm asking my guests to travel in December with the risk of bad weather, I'm making sure everything is as easy, convenient and comfortable for them as possible once they arrive.  

I'm going to be honest with you, whomever told you to come here probably thinks you're doing it wrong but didn't want to harm her relationship with you by telling you herself (reference).   You're not always going to like what you hear, but if you stick around long enough you'll learn that a bunch of internet strangers receive no benefit out of lying to you and are willing to tell you the hard truths no one else will.  

There are worse things in life than being asked questions you don't want to answer because you don't want to admit the answer out loud.  In fact, that is often how people grow as human beings.

@Kimmiandkoley To the bolded: Please tell me you just forgot to type that your hot cocoa bar will have lots and lots of toppings as well?

kimmiinthemitten

lnixon8 said:

kimmiandkoley said:

How was the fact that along with the wool pea coat, the fact that they are wearing regular, NOT snow boots missed?  Also, I want to know what your BM's are wearing under the pea coat?  I love  winter.  I'm one of those weirdos that really does.  But no way in hell am I wearing a pea coat and random boots outside in Northern Michigan in March.

I'm a Michigander too (so I guess, thanks for loving The Mitten!) and I live in my Hunters with wooly socks for most of November - March.  For the really cold, snowy days, I have about 4 pairs of various wool lined boots to choose from.

Oh, and I'm also a winter wedding bride.  I have planned an indoor ceremony and reception in the same building so there is no travel between, with complimentary shuttle from the hotel, complimentary valet at the door, and complimentary coat check.  You know why?  Because if I'm asking my guests to travel in December with the risk of bad weather, I'm making sure everything is as easy, convenient and comfortable for them as possible once they arrive.  

I'm going to be honest with you, whomever told you to come here probably thinks you're doing it wrong but didn't want to harm her relationship with you by telling you herself (reference).   You're not always going to like what you hear, but if you stick around long enough you'll learn that a bunch of internet strangers receive no benefit out of lying to you and are willing to tell you the hard truths no one else will.  

There are worse things in life than being asked questions you don't want to answer because you don't want to admit the answer out loud.  In fact, that is often how people grow as human beings.

@Kimmiandkoley To the bolded: Please tell me you just forgot to type that your hot cocoa bar will have lots and lots of toppings as well?

You mean my guests expect to be indoors in a temp controlled setting AND want hot chocolate?!  I thought that was only for outdoor weddings.  Damn...I guess I have to rethink my spiced egg nog. **kicksthecan**

TrixieJess

Knottie1443833754 said:

So can someone please explain to me how we got here? I mean the OP asked about how to deal with her FMIL and now we're criticizing her wedding?!  To the OP, I'm on your side with respect to these bullies.  As for the cyber bullies, this one's for you...

For Fuck's sake! Please go off into your little bubble and float away. If you can't internet, go away.

If you actually understood what bullying and cyber bullying is, I would have more fucking patience. Please go somewhere where your Specialness is appreciated. Psst, it's not here!

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie1430505628 said:

ShesSoCold said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

We have planned accordingly for the weather. Guests have been encouraged to dress warmly and we will be providing blankets.  The wedding party attire is winter appropriate (matching coats, boots, etc.).

The ceremony will be done within 30 minutes, so it's not like they will have to stand out in the cold for a long time.  We are doing a hot chocolate bar immediately following the ceremony.

Um, I'm sorry PPs have covered this, but have you ever stood outside in really cold weather for any amount of time? Michigan can get well below zero. I've stood around in single digit temps out at my barn. . .it's not something I care to do unless I really have to, certainly not for a wedding.

This. I live in Chicago and I have Bears season tickets. A few years ago I went to the Hawks game at Soldier Field on March first. So I do stand around a lot outdoors in the winter. However, I wear under armor, three pairs of pants, camouflage snowpants, several sweatshirts, two coats (including one gigantic blaze orange hunting coat) and mens' snowmobile boots. So, in other words, a hell of a lot more than a "wool blend" coat and not one thing I'd wear to a wedding. 

Amen sister.

That used to be me. . . until I found this awesome pair of riding pants specifically for winter riding. . . like the ads in the catalog show people gleefully riding through the snow in like Norway, lol. 

Those damn pants ($$$) changed my life.  I can wear them with just regular riding pants underneath and not feel like my legs will freeze off when I'm at the barn in the winter.  I wore them to an outdoors Winter Classic a few years back!

-----Box---------' Can you please share what brand of pants those are? Do you wear them while you're riding or just around the barn? I have full chaps I wear in the winter but your fancy pants sound awesome. Eta: box

I wear them while riding and when just working around the barn- they are breeches and have the leather on the butt to help you grip the saddle.

They are Mountain Horse Polar Breeches: http://www.mountainhorseusa.com/outerwear/pants/mountain-horse-registered-polar-breeches

I got them online for about $120.

@ryanandjoe4 @Heffalump @Knottie1430505628

jacques27

Bought a hot chocolate today for $4 at Caribou and it did not require me to take off work, buy airfare, and purchase special attire to not freeze my bits off. There were no toppings, but what can you expect for only $4? Although it did have whipped cream and drizzle, so maybe that counts. I'm still saving up a few extra hundred dollars so I can have toppings. Maybe one day if I work enough overtime. Fingers crossed!


And when will people learn that if you don't want something discussed or commented on, then don't bring it up? It's not that difficult. If it's not relevant to what you actually are asking and you can't handle feedback, then don't put it out there. Once you put out it there, it's open for commentary. You can't control what other people respond with; you can only control yourself and what you choose to put out there.

TheCheeseWench

jacques27 said:

Bought a hot chocolate today for $4 at Caribou and it did not require me to take off work, buy airfare, and purchase special attire to not freeze my bits off. There were no toppings, but what can you expect for only $4? Although it did have whipped cream and drizzle, so maybe that counts. I'm still saving up a few extra hundred dollars so I can have toppings. Maybe one day if I work enough overtime. Fingers crossed! And when will people learn that if you don't want something discussed or commented on, then don't bring it up? It's not that difficult. If it's not relevant to what you actually are asking and you can't handle feedback, then don't put it out there. Once you put out it there, it's open for commentary. You can't control what other people respond with; you can only control yourself and what you choose to put out there.

But...but...as long as she DDs the offensive bit it's okay right? We have to stop talking about that part once she sweeps it under the internet rug and pretend it never happened!

madamerwin

ShesSoCold said:

redoryx said:

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

My exact thought. 

Me too - I was surprised no one brought it up sooner! I am willing to put money on Knottie#'s being OP's AE.

drunkenwitch

Knottie1443833754 said:

onefootinthebayou said:

Knottie1443833754 said:

kimmiandkoley said:

Knottie1443833754 said:

So can someone please explain to me how we got here? I mean the OP asked about how to deal with her FMIL and now we're criticizing her wedding?!  To the OP, I'm on your side with respect to these bullies.  As for the cyber bullies, this one's for you...

She posted on the internet, and mentioned both her FMIL and her "getaway wedding."  Therefore she received advice about both her FMIL and about the other things mentioned in her post.  If you don't want strangers to weigh in, don't ask strangers questions.

And as far as "cyber bullies" are concerned, only one persons posts were removed for being TOS violations.  Just because people disagree with you, doesn't mean they're bullying you.

There is difference with providing constructive criticism and there's another with what the bullies are doing.  My words are not directed towards you because what you wrote is constructive.

Posters were trying to help OP understand that putting her wedding vision ahead of her guest's comfort was wrong. These are etiquette boards and when someone comes on here with a bad idea (or selfish or rude or whatever) people will point it out and offer suggestions on how to make it right. Sometimes this advice is delivered bluntly. Sometimes, we are offended by a poster's blatant thoughtlessness and disregard for their guests and that comes out as frustration. That is not even close to cyber bullying. Labeling the criticism of bad ideas or refusal to validate rude behavior as "bullying" is a disservice to people who have ACTUALLY been bullied. I have little patience for people who cry "bully" b/c people have the balls to stand up to them and tell them they are wrong. Edited b.c mobile phones are hard.

_____________________________________________Boxes

So you're "helping" her by adding your colorful feedback and your "vision" for what you think is best?!  1)  I'm sure she doesn't need the colorful feedback, as this caused her to defend herself.  2)  Did she ever ask for opinions for her wedding ceremony?  The short answer is no.  She merely shared it and people thought it was their right to give their opinion.  Well here's my opinion...oh wait I don't want to get a TOS violation.  As for the OP getting TOS violations, she was merely defending herself. 

I am officially sick and tired of every noob whining and wailing about what bullies we are because we refuse to pat everybody on the head and tell them what a special and unique snowflake there or because we comment on the information they freely posted. Yes, freely posted, as in their own free will.

Here how the internet darling, you post shit, you get comments.  Lather, rinse repeat.  If oyu don't want something commented on, don't fucking post it.  There have several times I have typed something pretty personal out and then thought before I hit send.  Hmmm, do I want people commenting on such a personal thing?  How will I react to any negative comments?  Am I sensitive about this?  If the answers are no, badly and yes, then I don't post the fucking information.  Viola, problem solved right there.

kimmiinthemitten

tfmrserwin said:

ShesSoCold said:

redoryx said:

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

My exact thought. 

Me too - I was surprised no one brought it up sooner! I am willing to put money on Knottie#'s being OP's AE.

I thought that or a friend she complained to since they sounded a little different. Plus only one account has been deleted.

Edited to add:  OP sounds like one of those beauty queens who go viral after using big words "and such."  Knottie #'s was more articulate despite being an idiot.

PrettyGirlLost

tfmrserwin said:

ShesSoCold said:

redoryx said:

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

My exact thought. 

Me too - I was surprised no one brought it up sooner! I am willing to put money on Knottie#'s being OP's AE.

If only we had people who could check IP addresses. . .

ShesSoCold

PrettyGirlLost said:

tfmrserwin said:

ShesSoCold said:

redoryx said:

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

My exact thought. 

Me too - I was surprised no one brought it up sooner! I am willing to put money on Knottie#'s being OP's AE.

If only we had people who could check IP addresses. . .

Did you report it or ask KH or KR to run the IP?

PrettyGirlLost

ShesSoCold said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

tfmrserwin said:

ShesSoCold said:

redoryx said:

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

My exact thought. 

Me too - I was surprised no one brought it up sooner! I am willing to put money on Knottie#'s being OP's AE.

If only we had people who could check IP addresses. . .

Did you report it or ask KH or KR to run the IP?

Oh, no.  I thought only the mods had the ability to ask the KGs to check.

ShesSoCold

PrettyGirlLost said:

ShesSoCold said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

tfmrserwin said:

ShesSoCold said:

redoryx said:

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

My exact thought. 

Me too - I was surprised no one brought it up sooner! I am willing to put money on Knottie#'s being OP's AE.

If only we had people who could check IP addresses. . .

Did you report it or ask KH or KR to run the IP?

Oh, no.  I thought only the mods had the ability to ask the KGs to check.

Nope. Anyone can report anything, message a KG or page them. Mods aren't KG bodyguards.  

MesmrEwe

redoryx said:

Hmmmmmm. This new Knottie## registered the same day as the original OP's post. There's usually a delay in posting and this is the first (and only) thread she has commented in so far.

HOW INTERESTING. 

The giveaway is that this is the only thread they've ever posted on or made any contact with... My guess it's the OP AE.... 

and... Did we get bleeping Bingo yet?!?!?!?!?

Knottie1443833754

Hi ladies, I'm baaaaaaack!!!!!  Sorry I couldn't chat with my gal pals all day, but I have this daily commitment that prevents me from chatting with my besties.  It's probably a new concept for you but it's called a job. 

BTW before I go on, I just this last post.  WHO THE FUCK PLAYS BINGO?  I'll tell ya who, it's old geriatric fucks.  So why not instead play real bingo at a casino and try to make some money.


 

madamerwin

Knottie1443833754 said:

Hi ladies, I'm baaaaaaack!!!!!  Sorry I couldn't chat with my gal pals all day, but I have this daily commitment that prevents me from chatting with my besties.  It's probably a new concept for you but it's called a job. 

BTW before I go on, I just this last post.  WHO THE FUCK PLAYS BINGO?  I'll tell ya who, it's old geriatric fucks.  So why not instead play real bingo at a casino and try to make some money.


 

Are you drunk? You sound drunk. Go sleep it off.

onefootinthebayou

Knottie1443833754 said:

Hi ladies, I'm baaaaaaack!!!!!  Sorry I couldn't chat with my gal pals all day, but I have this daily commitment that prevents me from chatting with my besties.  It's probably a new concept for you but it's called a job. 

BTW before I go on, I just this last post.  WHO THE FUCK PLAYS BINGO?  I'll tell ya who, it's old geriatric fucks.  So why not instead play real bingo at a casino and try to make some money.


 

You have a job?  I'm, like, so impressed by that. 

 

levioosa

onefootinthebayou said:

Knottie1443833754 said:

Hi ladies, I'm baaaaaaack!!!!!  Sorry I couldn't chat with my gal pals all day, but I have this daily commitment that prevents me from chatting with my besties.  It's probably a new concept for you but it's called a job. 

BTW before I go on, I just this last post.  WHO THE FUCK PLAYS BINGO?  I'll tell ya who, it's old geriatric fucks.  So why not instead play real bingo at a casino and try to make some money.


 

You have a job?  I'm, like, so impressed by that. 

 

I kind of am.  It's not like reading comprehension and common sense are strong suits....

Knottie1443833754

**Removed for TOS Violation**

While I agree having an outdoor wedding in freezing weather is a bad idea.  The methods used to send this message have been intimidating and down right mean.  Saying things like that's a shitty idea, or making fun of her hot chocolate bar idea, why not increase your vernacular and say something like, Have you thought of idea X, or have you considered idea Y.  Again the.   short answer is no, you have not.

And finally for TrixieJess who said "If you can't internet, go away."  The word internet is a noun, not a verb!  How in the blue hell do you internet?!

onefootinthebayou

levioosa said:

onefootinthebayou said:

Knottie1443833754 said:

Hi ladies, I'm baaaaaaack!!!!!  Sorry I couldn't chat with my gal pals all day, but I have this daily commitment that prevents me from chatting with my besties.  It's probably a new concept for you but it's called a job. 

BTW before I go on, I just this last post.  WHO THE FUCK PLAYS BINGO?  I'll tell ya who, it's old geriatric fucks.  So why not instead play real bingo at a casino and try to make some money.


 

You have a job?  I'm, like, so impressed by that. 

 

I kind of am.  It's not like reading comprehension and common sense are strong suits....

Oh, did you think I was being sarcastic?  I was being serious. 

Knottie1443833754

It's finally come to this...trying to get my IP address to figure out who I am.  Well I can tell I am NOT the OP.  Now that is a completely stupid thought!  Also, if (and I do stress if) the Knot system admins go down the path of actually listening to you, reviewing my posts, and go through the effort combing through all their log files on their machines to find my IP address, it would not tell them who I am.  Again what a stupid idea!! 

Knottie1443833754

onefootinthebayou...maybe you should take a couple more steps in the bayou!  I just posted this and you're on immediately here replying...do you have anything else better to do with your time than troll the knot forums?!  Hey there maybe a Maury Povich marathon on for ya!  YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT THE FATHER!!

levioosa

I think someone needs a break from the internet.  

None of us cyberbullied, despite your attempt to protest that what transpired in this thread was cyberbullying.  One of our members was recently doxxed by the reddit community.  THAT is cyber bullying.  Telling someone they have a shitty idea is not bullying.  We aren't going to mince words about an idea that is fucked up and stupid.  Criticism isn't always going to come in a way that spares your feelings.  Not here, not in real life.  Grow up.  

madamerwin

Knottie1443833754 said:

It's finally come to this...trying to get my IP address to figure out who I am.  Well I can tell I am NOT the OP.  Now that is a completely stupid thought!  Also, if (and I do stress if) the Knot system admins go down the path of actually listening to you, reviewing my posts, and go through the effort combing through all their log files on their machines to find my IP address, it would not tell them who I am.  Again what a stupid idea!! 

You clearly don't understand how any of this works. The point of the IP lookup is not to find out any personal info, but if someone has two TK accounts with the same IP address, then they are breaking the TOS.

And humor is not your strong suit if you have never heard, nor understand, the comment made by @TrixieJess regarding how to internet. Nor do you understand what bullying is, apparently.

But really, are you sure you're not drunk? Because you're rambling.

ETA paragraphs

madamerwin

Knottie1443833754 said:

onefootinthebayou...maybe you should take a couple more steps in the bayou!  I just posted this and you're on immediately here replying...do you have anything else better to do with your time than troll the knot forums?!  Hey there maybe a Maury Povich marathon on for ya!  YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT THE FATHER!!

This MUST count for something in bingo...

onefootinthebayou

Knottie1443833754 said:

onefootinthebayou...maybe you should take a couple more steps in the bayou!  I just posted this and you're on immediately here replying...do you have anything else better to do with your time than troll the knot forums?!  Hey there maybe a Maury Povich marathon on for ya!  YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT THE FATHER!!

Lol wut.