Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal Party Dates at Head Table?

123457»

Re: Bridal Party Dates at Head Table?

  • I'm afraid to ask. OP, are you sitting the WP couples together as couples at your head table or are all the girls on one side and the guys on the other?
  • lc07 said:

    I'm afraid to ask. OP, are you sitting the WP couples together as couples at your head table or are all the girls on one side and the guys on the other?

    I was in a wedding with my DH where we had to sit guys on one side and girls on the other, ugh!!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I'm afraid to ask. OP, are you sitting the WP couples together as couples at your head table or are all the girls on one side and the guys on the other?
    I was in a wedding with my DH where we had to sit guys on one side and girls on the other, ugh!!
    One word - pictures!  Having mixed couples will ruin the look of the pictures. Duh!
  • JoanE2012 said:
    I'm afraid to ask. OP, are you sitting the WP couples together as couples at your head table or are all the girls on one side and the guys on the other?
    I was in a wedding with my DH where we had to sit guys on one side and girls on the other, ugh!!
    One word - pictures!  Having mixed couples will ruin the look of the pictures. Duh!
    Yeah seriously I still don't understand why she's hell-bent on doing it this way.

    Also is it just me or does it sound like OP will be giving preferential treatment? All the other WP guests will get to sit with their WP SOs, but those whose SOs are not in the WP are shit outta luck. That seemed like favoritism to me -- treating some guests differently than others. 

    Maybe I'm reading too much into it. 

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
  • My vision is more important than my nearest and dearest's feelings! Didn't you know, having their dates at the table will RUIN my wedding! How could I possibly live with myself if I had to actually interact with my best friend's new SO on a day celebrating love? I might as well go with the status quo because screw putting my guest's comfort above my pictures.

    Someone needs to call the whambulance because this is just turning into a toddler's temper tantrum over something that will not hurt the OP but will sour their friend's feelings towards her.

    It might be common, but break the mold! People might say "no it's fine" to your face but you bet your ass they're talking shit behind your back because this "tradition" is rude.
  • I'm afraid to ask. OP, are you sitting the WP couples together as couples at your head table or are all the girls on one side and the guys on the other?
    I was in a wedding with my DH where we had to sit guys on one side and girls on the other, ugh!!
    Makes no sense! I have a feeling OP is planning to do it this way.
  • lyndausvi said:
    I always strive to be the best host. I enjoy seeing people get happy when I anticipated an unexpressed need or want of their's.    On the flip side, as a guest, I enjoy when a host anticipates one of my unexpressed needs or wants.

    Will life as I know it stop because I'm separated from my DH at a wedding?   No.  Will I be happier and think more highly of the couple for knowing the tradition of splitting up WP members is outdated?  You bet you.

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    My main issue is I just don't understand why they are insisting putting dates at some random table with people they won't know is the only way to go and everything else anyone is suggesting is terrible, besides the ridiculous "that's just how it is here".

    Why not be the trend setter and show future newly weds how to be great hosts rather than adequate ones, like your post lays out.
  • Chiming in late, in my area head tables w/o dates USED to be the norm. Key word, USED to. Now it's more of the norm to have the bridal party with their dates sitting at other tables and a sweetheart table for the couple.

    It doesn't need to be front and center if that makes you uncomfortable. You could have the sweetheart table with two tables on either side, and have the wedding party with their SO's at those two tables. (Some venues have stages where they put the head table, I have seen the above configuration on a stage or on the floor at the front, but it could be anywhere). No need for centerpieces, decorate the same way you would have decorated the head table. 

    It sucks to not sit with your SO at a wedding reception, I have been a bridesmaid trapped at the head table and I have been a guest stuck with randoms. I used to have big time social anxiety and that was NOT fun for me. 

    A lot can happen in 18 months, couples could break up, new couples could begin, babies could be born. I mean 18 months before my exBF and I broke up I thought we would end up married (but instead we had a very dramatic, kind of scary breakup). And 18 months ago I was still anti-dating after being single for a few years. I wasn't looking. I didn't want anything to do with dating... but I met a guy earlier this year and we are very likely going to end up married. 

    If you are worried about layouts and seating charts, just put them to the side for now. You have plenty of time to come up with ideas. But please, take these comments into consideration and be the one to let the BP sit with their SOs. They should be your honored guests, not props. 
    ******************************************************

  • BTW, this is how I asked:

    Wow, that is a whole new level of obsessing over an internet message board.


  • This thread

  • If you have Harry, why ask about etiquette on an etiquette board?
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • If it wasn't against the TOS, I'd encourage someone to make a "Harry" AE.
  • Why did you start this thread?
    I read in a non-related comment that the HT would have the BP's SO and I thought it was strange because I've never seen it and didn't realize that it's a thing.

    Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it isn't done. Head tables aren't really done anymore either, I've only seen one as an adult. I personally don't like the raised platform like they are royalty. It seems really dated.

    My parents were married 30 years ago, and they had a head table with significant others. But my parents are considerate people and care about their friends.

    I went to a wedding in October and the bride and groom sat with their Best man and Man of honor with their dates even though my friend can't stand her brother's GF. Oh and the wedding was in ILLINOIS!
    image
    image

    image



  • 18 months. I know some of you will say "but someone might start dating by then". Fear not, beside the two GM, they have explicitly said that they are not looking to date and do not want to bring a stranger to another strangers wedding.
    My first date with my now husband I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship just someone to hang out with for the summer before I went back to school in a different state. Well that all changed that summer and now 3 years later we're happily married! Sounds like there are many other PPs who had similar situations. 

    Also "Harry's" opinion is useless. The nice thing about this board is the people on here don't ever have to see you so they will tell you the truth without worrying about hurting your feelings. Your friends and family often will tell you things are ok because they don't want to upset you. Even if "Harry" really hasn't seen SOs at a head table it doesn't mean these opinions are wrong. Ignorance isn't an excuse to treat your guests badly. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I think you should sit your WP with their dates.  My FI and I will be seating our WP with their SOs. However, we still haven't decided on the type seating arrangements: sweetheart vs kings table.      
  • Again why is head table so important? Give me 2 good legit reasons. Please. Then maybe I will see your point of view.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards