Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:97f4be58-15e4-4890-a6fd-257f1077eabe">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : Nope, in a restaurant, too. The restaurant has the right to decline if they believe you are lying about it being your child. I'm not sure if it's been changed, <strong>but if you are under 21 and are married to someone over 21, they are also allowed to serve you/order you alcohol.</strong>  I looked it up awhile ago, but I want to say that there are only 7 states that make no exceptions for underage drinking. 
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

This just seems bizarre to me. I think the whole thing seems kind of bizarre to me (but that is probably because it is just different than anything I've ever known). 

dmiller9274

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:00f17341-33be-4708-ba42-9e49ccdfc6ce">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : Jesus.  Then who is liable if something happens to the kid?  The parent or the waitress?  Do your waitresses/bartenders have the right to not serve anyone they want or would they be forced to serve a minor?
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
If it's a case of parents serving their underage child, the liability ALWAYS falls back on the parent. 

Blueyed228

So Dmils, is there an established drinking age at all there? 

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Well in my experience it's never really turned out to be a good idea (parents letting kids drink on their watch).  Ben's own parents let Ben and his sisters do it and the kids would have raging ass parties.  This probably goes back to my region's culture of drinking, but I digress.

In fact, a classmate of mine died under these exact circumstances.  It wasn't even a raging party, he was just drinking at his own house with a couple of his friends over.  His parents allowed it.  He opened a wrong door, fell down a flight of stairs, smacked his head on the concrete floor and died a few days later.

Another of my friends in hs died in a drunk driving accident.  He was the one driving drunk.

Kids get drunk for the first time here  (as in where I live) around the age of 12 or even younger than that, and drink to get shitfaced on a regular basis throughout high school.  Many of them under the supervision of their own parents, who think it's perfectly safe for them to get drunk at home rather than in a field somewhere.  The majority of them do not grow up to become responsible drinkers - quite the opposite in fact.

I think it's nice that kids can enjoy a glass of wine with dinner in France, but just because it works there it doesn't mean it would work here.  People are assholes over here and they have no respect for alcohol.  Maybe I'm just biased, but whatever.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:00f17341-33be-4708-ba42-9e49ccdfc6ce">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : Jesus.  Then who is liable if something happens to the kid?  The parent or the waitress?  Do your waitresses/bartenders have the right to not serve anyone they want or would they be forced to serve a minor?
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

If you let your child drink, you are the one liable 100%. Not the establishment or the waitress.  Some places (Applebees for example) won't serve minors even with parents there.  Each establishment can decide if it doesn't want to serve minors even with parents around.

Blueyed228

Also- is it just wine/beer or can your mom order you a shot of vodka?

Bkseller13

HERE is some interesting info about legality of drinking in various places. 


Colorado appears to be one of the most lenient states. 

acaponi87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:00f17341-33be-4708-ba42-9e49ccdfc6ce">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : Jesus.  Then who is liable if something happens to the kid?  The parent or the waitress?  Do your waitresses/bartenders have the right to not serve anyone they want or would they be forced to serve a minor?
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Yeah Blue my mind is blown. Do people actually do that? I imagine the restaurant could choose not to serve whoever they want.

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:97f4be58-15e4-4890-a6fd-257f1077eabe">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : Nope, in a restaurant, too. The restaurant has the right to decline if they believe you are lying about it being your chil<strong>d. I'm not sure if it's been changed, but if you are under 21 and are married to someone over 21, they are also allowed to serve you/order you alcohol.</strong>  I looked it up awhile ago, but I want to say that there are only 7 states that make no exceptions for underage drinking. 
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

<div>I remember when my aunt and uncle got married, my uncle was 21 and my aunt was 19.  I'm pretty sure she was allowed to drink at her wedding (and afterwards) because of this as long as they were together at the time.  At least that's what I remember her telling me?  </div>

ricksang

Okay looked i up. Parent or Spouse can provide 18 yr old and older with light beer and wine only and only in a private location.

Blueyed228

I agree AATB.

In fact, I think it contributes to the entitlement problems that we have with kids and young adults nowadays.  "Oh, the legal drinking age is 21?  Well honey, THAT doesnt apply to you.  Do whatever you want because we say so"

dmiller9274

Yeah, drinking age is 21, and really it's pretty heavily monitored as far as purchasing for yourself. I've only ever been at a restaurant and witnessed someone ordering a drink for their kid once, and it was a long time ago. 

Also, the only parents I've ever known to serve alcohol to their kids was at times that the kids were home with just their parents. No friends over, not out in public. More like BK mentioned, a glass of wine for Holiday dinner, a couple of beers during a football game. It's never been a "WOO HOO LET'S GET WILD AND PARTY" kind of situation. 

Bkseller13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:b923ae57-174e-461c-9db6-00a035c88e2d">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : If you let your child drink, you are the one liable 100%. Not the establishment or the waitress.  Some places <strong>(Applebees for example</strong>) won't serve minors even with parents there.  Each establishment can decide if it doesn't want to serve minors even with parents around.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

Unless the screw up and serve the toddler a Pina Colada rather than a virgin colada.  We (Colorado) had that happen twice in a year, once at an Applebees and once at a Chilis.  Methinks some bartenders got fired over that.

acaponi87

Amen Blue and AATB.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Also again maybe it's just an upper midwest thing but even if the kid has been partying since he was 13, he is still going to rip shiiit up when he turns 21.  Now he doesn't have to sneak around.  Fuckit hoes, let's party.

I'm not kidding.

arwo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:1fdedf14-33be-44df-b860-1d26bb633500">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]Stories like AATB's make me think that's the reason why we don't "do as the French do" so to speak.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>But this is people just posting about their individual experiences. My own experiences have been pretty much exactly the opposite. I drank a bit (not a ton) in high school, and I never lost control of my behavior when I went to college and was allowed to drink as much as I wanted. Friends that had never been allowed a single drink before? Holyshit, they went insane. More than one ended up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning.</div>

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:86461590-6d0d-4dbe-ab23-846602c6e954">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]Well in my experience it's never really turned out to be a good idea (parents letting kids drink on their watch).  Ben's own parents let Ben and his sisters do it and the kids would have raging ass parties.  This probably goes back to my region's culture of drinking, but I digress. In fact, a classmate of mine died under these exact circumstances.  It wasn't even a raging party, he was just drinking at his own house with a couple of his friends over.  His parents allowed it.  He opened a wrong door, fell down a flight of stairs, smacked his head on the concrete floor and died a few days later. Another of my friends in hs died in a drunk driving accident.  He was the one driving drunk. Kids get drunk for the first time here  (as in where I live) around the age of 12 or even younger than that, and drink to get shitfaced on a regular basis throughout high school.  Many of them under the supervision of their own parents, who think it's perfectly safe for them to get drunk at home rather than in a field somewhere.  The majority of them do not grow up to become responsible drinkers - quite the opposite in fact. I think it's nice that kids can enjoy a glass of wine with dinner in France, but just because it works there it doesn't mean it would work here.  People are assholes over here and they have no respect for alcohol.  Maybe I'm just biased, but whatever.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
My mom let me drink at her parties. I, in turn, partied my ass off as a young adult and did some very irresponsible things. I still sometimes over consume and pay the price for two days. I don't think  giving ETHOL to children  automatically=less of a desire to get fuckedup as an adult.

dmiller9274

AATB both of those situations you listed would not be considered something that is legal. You cannot provide to children that aren't your own and you can't let them get behind the wheel of the car. 

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:86461590-6d0d-4dbe-ab23-846602c6e954">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]Well in my experience it's never really turned out to be a good idea (parents letting kids drink on their watch).  Ben's own parents let Ben and his sisters do it and the kids would have raging ass parties.  This probably goes back to my region's culture of drinking, but I digress. In fact, a classmate of mine died under these exact circumstances.  It wasn't even a raging party, he was just drinking at his own house with a couple of his friends over.  His parents allowed it.  He opened a wrong door, fell down a flight of stairs, smacked his head on the concrete floor and died a few days later. Another of my friends in hs died in a drunk driving accident.  He was the one driving drunk. Kids get drunk for the first time here  (as in where I live) around the age of 12 or even younger than that, and drink to get shitfaced on a regular basis throughout high school.  Many of them under the supervision of their own parents, who think it's perfectly safe for them to get drunk at home rather than in a field somewhere.  The majority of them do not grow up to become responsible drinkers - quite the opposite in fact. I think it's nice that kids can enjoy a glass of wine with dinner in France, but just because it works there it doesn't mean it would work here.  People are assholes over here and they have no respect for alcohol.  Maybe I'm just biased, but whatever.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]


I don't blame your bias one bit AATB. I'd probably feel the same way.
Part of my opinion though does mean the PARENTS being responsible too.  If your kid is starting to get drunk/tipsy, that's where you (general you) cut them off, which would prevent these kids getting shitfaced on their parents watch.

I don't think there's one-size-fits-all solution.  But based on my experience, alcohol loses it's "wow factor" when parents expose their kids to it in moderation when they are teenagers.

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:97a93bb7-c1d2-4c42-8bd4-084d09dea58d">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : Some of my friends in Alabama live in a county that just about a year or two years ago voted to keep it a dry county. I had no idea there was such a thing.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

I live in one.  If we want beer, we have to travel about 20 minutes to the store.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:7626ec9f-6bdf-457e-9abe-42cc085bc7bd">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : My mom let me drink at her parties. I, in turn, partied my ass off as a young adult and did some very irresponsible things. I still sometimes over consume and pay the price for two days. I don't think  giving ETHOL to children  automatically=less of a desire to get fuckedup as an adult.
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]


Exactly.

My mom grew up in a household where she and her siblings were allowed to drink at home.  Actually the kids were encouraged to party at home - with the parents.  Invite your friends.  The first time my mom smoked weed was with her own parents, and she was 12 years old.

I'm not saying that all parents would allow such situations to happen.  Obviously, some parents suck at parenting.  If Ben and I allow our children alcoholic beverages, it would be in one of those situations where hey, it's Christmas, you're 17 or 18, have this 4 oz glass of wine to celebrate.  Kids are not getting shitty under my roof like it happened at Ben's house growing up.  I love his parents, they are great people but I really can't believe they allowed all that stuff to go down.  They are very lucky nothing ever happened.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:fba0c9e5-b790-4db3-98fb-742f884db62c">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]HERE is some interesting info about legality of drinking in various places.  Colorado appears to be one of the most lenient states. 
Posted by Bkseller13[/QUOTE]

Lol how can someone underage be drinking for educational purposes?

dmiller9274

For the most part I don't think parents should be passing out booze to their kids, but shockingly enough, my friends that were allowed to drink at home with their parents, rarely drank after HS. They might be the exception rather than the norm, but it's just what I've experienced. 

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:e3dd535f-7221-4e5f-9f8c-5ca209026c89">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]AATB both of those situations you listed would not be considered something that is legal. You cannot provide to children that aren't your own and you can't let them get behind the wheel of the car. 
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

I know, but again, it doesn't really matter.  My point is, kids are not always responsible and unless they are living in situations where they are properly taught respect for alcohol they will end up seriously hurt or even dead.

Blueyed228

Chels- as someone who works with kids it surprises me that you dont take into consideration that children do not have the brain capacity to understand the consequences of alcohol.  It doesnt matter how young you expose them to it.  They are not mature enough to grasp what it can potentially do.

dmiller9274

Oh and truthfully, I don't think most people realize that they are in fact allowed to do it, so I think that keeps a lot of people from allowing it to happen. 

acaponi87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:bb11fff5-9707-4354-9f0e-86bbb3e186af">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]Also again maybe it's just an upper midwest thing but even if the kid has been partying since he was 13, he is still going to rip shiiit up when he turns 21.  Now he doesn't have to sneak around. <strong> Fuckit hoes, let's party. I'm not kidding.</strong>
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

I'm strongly considering making myself a whisky drink lol. Our place is loaded right now because FI's bachelor party is this weekend. We've got 2 of his friends staying with us tonight.

Blueyed228

Chels- I didnt quote cause you said you were going to DD, but a parent did that here and some kid fell and smashed her head and died.  The parents went to jail, lost their house etc.  Similar to AATBs story.  Just because they are not driving doesnt mean they cant die.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:e56645a8-d6ed-4bac-9bc8-0ed7de3789e7">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]Chels- as someone who works with kids it surprises me that you dont take into consideration that children do not have the brain capacity to understand the consequences of alcohol.  It doesnt matter how young you expose them to it.  They are not mature enough to grasp what it can potentially do.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Oh I know their brains aren't at that capacity.  But their parent's brains are.  hence why I think it's okay as long as their parents are closely supervising them (assuming you live in a state where it's legal)

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_teen-sentenced-to-homicide-over-texting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03270457-7124-4e12-a7c7-2a6405da1cb2Post:33f9e302-03e8-450d-a42b-b4e67a944bf4">Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teen Sentenced to Homicide Over Texting : Oh I know their brains aren't at that capacity.  But their parent's brains are.  hence why I think it's okay as long as their parents are closely supervising them (assuming you live in a state where it's legal)
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

But you said exposing them to it young takes away the appeal.  I dont think so because at that age they have no idea what drinking can do.