Happy Hump Day!

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:a88bb038-fb61-4272-be44-aeef3bd6859d">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why doesn't anyone in your family know? I'm just curious, since I'm sure they ask if y'all plan on having kids.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Oh, sorry! They know about my condition- just not the pregnancy.

Blueyed228

brandi my head just kind of exploded when you said your Drs made you think it could be viable.  I cant even wrap my brain around that.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:3adff8b5-a4e2-4f7b-8943-49695d542603">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Happy Hump Day! : Oh, sorry! They know about my condition- just not the pregnancy.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

Oh, I see. Sorry, I misread.

I'm sorry they got your hopes up like that. I'm with blue, I can't believe the doctor would even suggest that.

cheeseandrice

I'm catching up between meetings. Holy crap Brandi. I'm not sure what else to say.  I agree with Blue though- none of their business yet.

and re: insurance. I'm a state employee (kind of.) Our benefits are phenomonal, but they recently jacked the price when they restructured the options.  After baby comes, it'll be about $400/mo (pretax) for us. That's the highest level (employee, partner and children) and the cost stays the same regardless of how many kids I pop out. I still will brag about how awesome my insurance is, even at that cost.  When I first started, it was $38/mo for just me.

No deductible, no copay for surgeries or anything considered preventative. 100% coverage on pre/post-natal and labor/delivery.

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:d906f422-47b8-483d-92c9-144cce02c0f3">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]brandi my head just kind of exploded when you said your Drs made you think it could be viable.  I cant even wrap my brain around that.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that sucked. I think what I didn't get right away is that they estimated 8-10 weeks but they couldn't detect a heart beat.  Not sure why they didn't tell me that right away.  Bright side?  We have names picked out if we ever do have children in the future. 

In all seriousness, I think the hardest part of the whole thing was watching FI.  He wants kids and his face was lit up like a kid on Christmas morning in the U/S room.  I am (or at least convince myself that I am) OK with my diagnosis.  It's been years since I've known. I've gotten used to the idea of not having a baby. But, I feel like I am failing him now by giving him that little bit of hope, you know?  I hope that I'm not making it seem like anyone in a similar situation is doing that to their spouse, because in reality, that isn't the case, but I just feel like I've taken something from him.  The other night we were watching Sister Wives and it recapped on when the new wife offered to be a surrogate for the first wife because she hasn't been able to conceive. FI looked at me and completely joking said "Should we get another wife to have your babies?"  He realized he was a jerk about 10 seconds after it came out of his mouth, but that just got to me.

I'm going to stop rambling. :)

Blueyed228

Brandi- IVF with a surrogate is a really good option for you guys.  You do have hope and since you ovulate, you have a really good chance of having your own biological children.

Technology is amazing, lol.

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:a0527cfc-f569-4183-840d-11dfb30e9d9f">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]Brandi- IVF with a surrogate is a really good option for you guys.  You do have hope and since you ovulate, you have a really good chance of having your own biological children. Technology is amazing, lol.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

FI really wants to do that.  I've toyed with that and adoption.  My reservation for IVF is the cost and the chance of multiples or no baby after that cost.  I would want to be extremely financially secure before we jumped into that, and with FI wanting to be a teacher, I don't know if we'll get there.

Plus- I'd be the crazy bio Mom calling every day to check up. lol (Picture : the movie Baby Mama).

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:0e496d00-14c9-496d-a59f-a5b1b0f8d968">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Happy Hump Day! : FI really wants to do that.  I've toyed with that and adoption.  My reservation for IVF is the cost and the chance of multiples or no baby after that cost.  I would want to be extremely financially secure before we jumped into that, and with FI wanting to be a teacher, I don't know if we'll get there. Plus- I'd be the crazy bio Mom calling every day to check up. lol (Picture : the movie Baby Mama).
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

Thats understandable.  But its good to know that you have some options.

Single embryo transfers are very popular now and lots of Drs encourage them.  They advised us to do just one if multiples were off the table.  However, next time they are talking about transfering 3.  If I can even get 3 embryos, lol.

cheeseandrice

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:368c3886-734e-44bd-b892-d925a5f32fd7">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Happy Hump Day! : Actually they can. This happened to my SIL.
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

When was that? Maybe it's recent, but I swore I heard it can't be.

ETA: DOL says no. <a href="http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq_consumer_hipaa.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq_consumer_hipaa.html</a> (C&P, sorry for the weird formatting below.)

<h3>Are there illnesses or injuries that cannot be subject to a preexisting condition exclusion?</h3> <p>Yes, as follows:</p> <ul><li>Pregnancy, even if the woman had no prior coverage before enrolling in her current employer's plan.</li></ul>

ErinG93

Brandi, hugs to you. 

I'm in a totally different situation, but I get where you're coming from. It's hard. You'll figure it out eventually.

brandichamberlain

Thank you everyone for the kind words- I appreciate that.

Blue- you may be my go-to person if/when I have questions if you're OK with that. I'd PM them to you.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:629de421-a1b2-4d38-be47-628e4d45c3e1">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you everyone for the kind words- I appreciate that. Blue- you may be my go-to person if/when I have questions if you're OK with that. I'd PM them to you.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

Of course.

If this IVF stuff doesnt work out for us, we may have to use a surrogate as well.  Luckily my sister has volunteered, lol

brandichamberlain

That is really sweet of your sister


I have a friend who has already told me if her and her H end up pregnant that the baby is mine since they don't want kids.  I told her I was doing the fertility dance for her lol.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:0dc81c8e-4ca1-4d92-a805-4baf979d6561">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]That is really sweet of your sister :) I have a friend who has already told me if her and her H end up pregnant that the baby is mine since they don't want kids.  I told her I was doing the fertility dance for her lol.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

Yay for free babies,lol

Girlie1030

Wow Brandi.  Not sure what else to say other than I hope I can be as strong as you if/when I need to be. 

Dot, I missed the love fest yesterday thanks to a 54 page compliance checklist but the offer does stand to rant about sisters. 

chelseamb11

Blue, would you ever adopt if you even up being unable to concieve in the long run?

cheeseandrice

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:a3c59fff-8b11-469d-b66c-eea88ff5cc8b">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Happy Hump Day! : It was about 6 years now so they definitely must have changed that which is a good thing. I'm really lucky my boss pays 100% of the monthly premium for my entire family including Fi since we live together. If he didn't it would cost me more than $1000 a month.
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

Yeah. I figured it was a few years ago. I wasn't sure how new the pre-existing thing was.

And, I just looked... my insurance is actually like $1700/mo, but employer covers all but $300 of it.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:c55352f6-e6cb-42b9-a2d7-c4d9fff06e38">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]Blue, would you ever adopt if you even up being unable to concieve in the long run?
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

As of right now, its not on the table for us, but mainly because we have not sat down and really discussed it.  But that doesnt mean it wont ever be an option for us.

brandichamberlain

I can't speak for everyone (and I know you didn't ask me specificially, but I thought I'd just give another perspective), but for us adoption is a really hard thing to discuss.  There are a lot of aspects to think about- race, gender, age, international, fostering first, etc...  As my family found out their answer has always been "Oh! Well you can just adopt then" but I don't think it's that easy for a lot of couples.

ErinG93

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:38a4017e-0b10-4997-929b-516ad98f0408">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't speak for everyone (and I know you didn't ask me specificially, but I thought I'd just give another perspective), but for us adoption is a really hard thing to discuss.  There are a lot of aspects to think about- race, gender, age, international, fostering first, etc...  As my family found out their answer has always been "Oh! Well you can just adopt then" but I don't think it's that easy for a lot of couples.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You're absolutely right. I am leaning towards adoption for us more and more lately, but it's a really difficult thing for H to get on board with. His dad was adopted into a really physically abusive family, so I know his family isn't very supportive of adoption. It would be hard for them to watch us adopt, which complicates the issue. It's hard stuff.

</div>

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:38a4017e-0b10-4997-929b-516ad98f0408">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't speak for everyone (and I know you didn't ask me specificially, but I thought I'd just give another perspective), but for us adoption is a really hard thing to discuss.  There are a lot of aspects to think about- race, gender, age, international, fostering first, etc...  As my family found out their answer has always been "Oh! Well you can just adopt then" but I don't think it's that easy for a lot of couples.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

Plus, adoption is often more expensive than IVF and comes with more of a risk of not getting a baby.

H had a hard time accepting IVF.  His is very old school with some things and adoption is not something he will consider as of right now.  Im not sure how I feel about it.  For me it would be a last resort.

brandichamberlain

FI's parents had trouble conceiving and considered adoption.  For them, it was not feasible to cost, so they were very supportive with us thinking about that.  I always was more in that corner, but (and yes, this is probably a weird source) after watching the Rancic's publicize their gestational host journey on TV, I've been more in that corner now.  FI and I have very similar hair color/type and we both have bold blue eyes so I am kind of biased and want a cute little toddler with curly hair and blue eyes running around.

Blueyed228

Thanks Dot, but we are on a forced break right now and I havent decided if im going to do it again.

There may never be a Baby Blue, lol.

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:4b8ff18f-d79c-4016-868e-fa3924cb9c66">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Happy Hump Day! : That may be true but I am eternally optimistic for you and Mr. Blue. Even if you don't have children I am willing to bet that you will "mother" in another way. I know those nieces sure get the best Auntie Blue has to offer. However it goes, I'm praying for you.
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

Dot said what I was thinking. So ditto.

Blueyed228

I told H if we are done with babies then im filling the yard with pit bulls, lol.

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:845a10ba-3bc6-4eec-8ec9-2146c06ff4f6">Re: Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]I told H if we are done with babies then im filling the yard with pit bulls, lol.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

I claimed yearly awesome long vacations and a badass house. :)

Girlie1030

Dot, I rarely knot on the weekends so you're getting a PM from me in a sec with alternate contact info.   

ErinG93

Blue, I tell my family we're going to have a whippet haven.

I found a whippet-pit at our rescue and I wanted her SO BAD. H isn't ready for another dog just yet. I fell so in love with this whippet-pit, though.

polichik

In Response to Re:Happy Hump Day!:[QUOTE]Blue, I tell my family we're going to have a whippet haven.I found a whippetpit at our rescue and I wanted her SO BAD. : H isn't ready for another dog just yet. I fell so in love with this whippetpit, though. Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]I would think it would be so hard to go to a rescue and not be able to take anyone home! If memory serves, you work at a rescue, right? It must be tough to not bring another pup home every day!

ErinG93

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_happy-hump-day-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1711ac93-38f5-4079-afe0-7aa6febc2dfaPost:9cc83083-a6c1-45ec-9ab6-ec0b40806ccf">Re:Happy Hump Day!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Happy Hump Day!:I would think it would be so hard to go to a rescue and not be able to take anyone home! If memory serves, you work at a rescue, right? It must be tough to not bring another pup home every day!
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I wish I worked at a rescue! We just have a really great one here. I visit pretty often. They allow people to walk the dogs so it's really fun to go. I'm a boring accounting clerk. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue Out" title="Tongue Out" />

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