Unpop ops/flameable confessions

AllAboutTheBenjamin

My H does not take long to shiit and neither do I.  But as a kid, growing up in a farmhouse with one bathroom, yeah, my dad seemingly took forever.

My mom does sudoku on the shitter.

adamar15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:3030c450-bf94-4ec4-bda7-bd47561f6b1f">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't get how pooping gets boring.  I don't allow enough time to pass for it to get "boring."  I do my business quickly and efficiently and go on with my day thank you.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

Well I guess you've never been constipated then.  Good for you.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:46cee0ce-0ac6-4bb0-9e76-7514f4c249a0">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I think sitting on the toilet too long can cause hemmeroids or something? I read that somewhere. 
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]


I think if you over-exert yourself a lot when you're pooping it can cause hemorrhoids, so yeah, if it takes you a while definitely.

So after you poop, take a hot bath and bust out the preparation H.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:46cee0ce-0ac6-4bb0-9e76-7514f4c249a0">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I think sitting on the toilet too long can cause hemmeroids or something? I read that somewhere. 
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure, I think it has more to do with straining that causes it, so it would make sense if you are constipated it would take longer and you would stress yourself. Hand in Hand...pardon the pun :)

SEWF

My H is a big advocate of prunes. He says they help keep things running smoothly.

Nebb

Thats the infographic!

 

I think it causes them because your butt is positioned in a way that pushes it out even if you arent straining so staying in that position it can gradually cause them or something. 

lbarr088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:4a361f2d-298a-43ed-a75f-cd7c5e4160dd">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions : Well I guess you've never been constipated then.  Good for you.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

<div>I have more belly issues than anyone I know.  I've experienced it all.  I just don't see the point in sitting there with no "progression".  Just pop some prunes, drink a few glasses of water and soon enough... situation over in maybe 2 minutes.  I also hate sitting in the bathroom for more than a few minutes just because then EVERYONE knows what you are doing.  Creeps me out.</div>

Nebb

lol I guess this turned into another poop discussion after all. SORRY!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

My poor sister was constipated a lot, for the longest time.  Turns out her gall bladder was barely functioning, she got it taken out, and bam, she shits all the time now.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:d69fead6-ebcd-48c6-a2b7-8091de51b231">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions : I have more belly issues than anyone I know.  I've experienced it all.  I just don't see the point in sitting there with no "progression".  Just pop some prunes, drink a few glasses of water and soon enough... situation over in maybe 2 minutes.  I also hate sitting in the bathroom for more than a few minutes just because then EVERYONE knows what you are doing.  Creeps me out.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]
Who cares if anyone knows, everyone poops. 

adamar15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:d69fead6-ebcd-48c6-a2b7-8091de51b231">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions : I have more belly issues than anyone I know.  I've experienced it all.  I just don't see the point in sitting there with no "progression".  Just pop some prunes, drink a few glasses of water and soon enough... situation over in maybe 2 minutes.  I also hate sitting in the bathroom for more than a few minutes just because then EVERYONE knows what you are doing.  Creeps me out.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

Well, I don't bring a book in the bathroom at work.  That would just be awkward.  I confine my bathroom reading to the privacy of my own home :)

lbarr088

I just read that infographic... longest poop 26ft!  Holy hell.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:2e6bf66f-72cd-4e9c-8f7a-f5a4cdd8013d">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I just read that infographic... longest poop 26ft!  Holy hell.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]
I think AATB's friend has that one beat.

cheeseandrice

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:4fafbee8-4312-4d25-99ca-197a139f9a5c">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]That reminds of the Seinfeld where George took a book into the bathroom and they made him buy it b/c the store said it was contaminated.  I don't get the big deal about bathroom books.  It's not like you're wiping your ass with the pages. Huh, as someone who is involved in the hiring process, I can't imagine voluntarily keeping track of what races have applied. <strong> And thinking about it, I'm actually kind of surprised the government doesn't mandate it so they can come in and audit your hiring process.  (not that I would advocate that.at.all). ETA: Actually, the government does kind of do that. Not the hiring but they do come in and do labor audits.</strong>
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

They do. please see: affirmative action.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:b3d67c75-b9ad-4a92-8663-194ad073971d">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions : Who cares if anyone knows, everyone poops. 
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]


My thoughts exactly!

In fact, I could probably drop a deuce right now.

You're welcome, everyone.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:96348fac-cf13-4be8-a6d5-30887a7b24bc">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions : I think AATB's friend has that one beat.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]


It was maybe like 8 or 9 inches, but that wasn't what surprised me.  What surprised me was how big around the fucking thing was.  It looked like a damn soda can.  Maybe even fatter than that.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:4a390ef6-2882-4acd-9704-d695b524642c">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions : It was maybe like 8 or 9 inches, but that wasn't what surprised me.  What surprised me was how big around the fucking thing was.  It looked like a damn soda can.  Maybe even fatter than that.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
I have to wonder whats wrong with his ass then, if it was that big around... How does poop not just fall out?

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:c1a4dcdb-4e72-422c-9ef5-604975104bdf">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]You know what I love?  Shitting at work. Just think about it, you get paid to shiit.  How awesome is that?
Posted by kodakitty[/QUOTE]
I do too, but only cause I know that it drives my co-irker nuts when people shiit at work cause the smell offends her tender sensibilities. I had such a laugh when three of us did it in a row and she went in right after. Best day ever.

lbarr088

I really just can't go to the bathroom in general in public.  I'm starting to get over that though.  I did ALL of my business in a rest stop along the NY State Thruway.  

I guess I shouldn't really call it public as it is more of an unfamiliar place.  Work is public, but there are no issues there.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:68a92e8e-bda5-4ebb-a329-107e909f1922">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions : I have to wonder whats wrong with his ass then, if it was that big around... How does poop not just fall out?
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]


I dunno.  Maybe pushing that out could have given him hemorrhoids.

He's a bigger guy though.  He eats a lot.  He's 6'6, 260 lbs.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:0b88d8d4-3767-444d-aedd-9153d0ffff0c">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions : I do too, but only cause I know that it drives my co-irker nuts when people shiit at work cause the smell offends her tender sensibilities. I had such a laugh when three of us did it in a row and she went in right after. Best day ever.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

That is fucking hysterical.

lbarr088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:dcf80f4b-6b10-4370-936f-e97d28766276">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Anyone heard of people who get completely naked before they poop? I have a FBIL who apparently does this, and if he's at a restaurant or public place, he has to go home to poop.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

<div>Now I think my bathroom issues are a little less strange...</div><div>
</div><div>By the way, love the sig pic!</div>

cheeseandrice

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:713efc42-c10b-4a08-a8ca-902fcfa5d529">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]No, I get that Steph.  But they don't require us to keep track of the race of applicants.  
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

Welcome to working for the government. ;)

SEWF

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:dcf80f4b-6b10-4370-936f-e97d28766276">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Anyone heard of people who get completely naked before they poop? I have a FBIL who apparently does this, and if he's at a restaurant or public place, he has to go home to poop.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

<div>Along the same line, I was watching a TV show recently, and they were talking about how some guys will pull their pants all the way down to pee at a urinal. I asked H if he had ever seen this, and he said yes, and that he'd done it a couple of times. First of all, I'd be worried about the floor being wet. Second of all, what if someone walked in and your ass is just hanging out there. Men ARE weird.</div>

Nebb

Men are super weird.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I always feel lighter after an awesome poop.  Best feeling ever.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I care about your poop, DJ.









































Lol.  I had to.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpop-opsflameable-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9e811d9d-bf04-4d9a-a4c7-e46d98036f06Post:1efd40c0-b957-4357-88d1-6b67d3610fd1">Re: Unpop ops/flameable confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I always feel lighter after an awesome poop.  Best feeling ever.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
I sometimes feel like im lighter and have somewhat of a body buzz after. I love when that happens.

kd.joseph

I was thinking it was like HIMYM when Marshall is laughed at for taking a magazine to the bathroom, so he sneaks up to the next floor.

I love that Infographic. When Steve and I went to the Zoo a few years ago they had an exihibit called the scoop on poop.

cheeseandrice

Guys, wanna know a really fun side effect of pregnancy? Not pooping for DAYS on end. One girl on my month board claims she didn't take a shiit for 8 days. can you imagine?! I'd be crying.