Dear SB,

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:0d882298-e34b-40e4-b3c7-c7a1629f697c">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : Well, okay.  It's just my theory.  I don't tend to see a lot of bickering between people in my regular life, and I see a lot of it on message boards.  Maybe not on this one. <strong> I don't think you're ever shitty, FWIW</strong>.
Posted by MandK9[/QUOTE]


That's because you're new  :P

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:b985b7ab-732d-4e5f-9c45-7292d744f361">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]Anna, my opinion has always been that we might seek out drama and controversy here on the boards so that we can get it out of our systems before it interferes in our real lives.  Sometimes it's easier to channel all that energy into a semi-anonymous haven. 
Posted by MandK9[/QUOTE]

Who does that? Treating people like crap for drama or arguing for the sake of arguing on here so it doesn't spill into real life is ridiculous. If I'm mad at my best friend or H or whoever, I'm not going to take it out on a knottie. That's ridiculous. Besides, if I say something cruel to a "stranger" so I won't say it to a "real life" person, it will still bother that person in her real life.

J&K10910

This post is full of win because it brought East out.

betrothed123

I think it's important to note that if you're not interested in a  Festivus thread no one will force you to participate.  There are a lot of threads on here I don't open because I'm interested in the subject matter.  That does not mean the people who are interested shoudln't be able to discuss it.

TheCranberry

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:3cc23274-07c3-4a8f-a94c-e0962ed4a2fe">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : I kind of spoke to this point a few posts up. There is an old reg vs. new reg dichtomy that sees the boards as a different place and (most) don't know how people like J&K, Beatles, myself, MFJ, Missy, Ricks etc even started posting mostly on this board.  You have to understand we were new once too and it took us a long time to know the history before us that many of you will never know (or care about). I think it is fine if new regs want this board to be a certain way, but they also have to understand why there would be backlash from people who have been around the culture of these boards for years. <strong>I guess I also wish new regs would take history more seriously because, well, we did.</strong>
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I have seen this mentioned before, but my question is: how do we find out about the history?  I know that at some point E and SB were the same board, but something happened, and now they are separate.  It's only mentioned obliquely and when others have asked about it in the past, no one really answered the question or explained anything.  I've seen the same thing happen with respect to the callout site.  Newbs have asked what the deal with all of that is, and people don't really answer the question or say that if they don't know, then they should be happy about it or that it doesn't concern them.  There's no way for us to know the history if no one will tell us. 

J&K10910

Ok, this is what I don't understand.  Everyone is complaining "Well if people want to speak up, why don't they speak up in the thread that pissed them off?!"  But there are some of us that DO that and we either get ignored or people say "Wow, you're so mean!" (paraphrasing of course). 

And it's not that people aren't "mean" enough.  As I said either--I think it's misplaced snarkiness (god I hate that word).  The board as a whole seems so darn quick to validate its regs while jumping down the throats of brand new posters with stupid party lines that may or may not even apply ("You only get one day!!!!" anyone?). 

beatlesgirl25

Oh, and hi Nebb! I've missed you. Do you have anything you want to say?

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:3cc23274-07c3-4a8f-a94c-e0962ed4a2fe">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : I kind of spoke to this point a few posts up. There is an old reg vs. new reg dichtomy that sees the boards as a different place and (most) don't know how people like J&K, Beatles, myself, MFJ, Missy, Ricks etc even started posting mostly on this board.  You have to understand we were new once too and it took us a long time to know the history before us that many of you will never know (or care about). I think it is fine if new regs want this board to be a certain way, but they also have to understand why there would be backlash from people who have been around the culture of these boards for years. I guess I also wish new regs would take history more seriously because, well, we did.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I may have, on a particularly slow day, gone back to the last pages of E and SB and read a ridiculous amount of old threads. My confession is I probably care a little too much about the history, lol.

MandK9

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:44097101-d585-427e-a01e-842d736d779d">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : That's because you're new  :P
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

Lol, maybe so. 

Seshat, maybe this doesn't apply to SB.  I haven't been around for that long, so I'm not totally familiar, but it does actually seem like you girls on this board have actual relationships.  So, no, I guess it wouldn't be true for you.  In general, I've found that friends I have IRL have posted their feelings/thoughts much more bluntly and rudely on boards to strangers than they would ever express them to real people, face-to-face.  I just feel like it's the way of the internet.

mrscarter052011

Cranberry-
There is a thread in E that describes some of that drama.  I think it's in "Now what do we do?" (or something like that).  HTH

Edit: It's in the Ask a Knottie thread.  Sorry.

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:48f4e67f-4503-41ab-9235-51eef8b282e9">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : I have seen this mentioned before, but my question is: how do we find out about the history?  I know that at some point E and SB were the same board, but something happened, and now they are separate.  It's only mentioned obliquely and when others have asked about it in the past, no one really answered the question or explained anything.  I've seen the same thing happen with respect to the callout site.  Newbs have asked what the deal with all of that is, and people don't really answer the question or say that if they don't know, then they should be happy about it or that it doesn't concern them.  There's no way for us to know the history if no one will tell us. 
Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]

This was me three years ago. Just so you know.
 Also, there have been numerous threads on E and here making sense of who used to be on this board, what happened when they left, who came over, why they came over, why other people 'think/know' they came over, and who is pissed about all of it. I know what you are saying that the questions often go unanswered, but it HAS been talked about in length (maybe not recently) and believe me, it will be talked about again.

MandK9

Oh and BTW, Blue: your avatar pic keeps showing up on all of the posts in my month board.  Freaking me out.

dmiller9274

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:a7912670-fcf1-464c-960f-0a44a6771396">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, this is what I don't understand.  Everyone is complaining "Well if people want to speak up, why don't they speak up in the thread that pissed them off?!"  But there are some of us that DO that and we either get ignored or people say "Wow, you're so mean!" (paraphrasing of course).  And it's not that people aren't "mean" enough.  As I said either--I think it's misplaced snarkiness (god I hate that word).  The board as a whole seems so darn quick to validate its regs while jumping down the throats of brand new posters with stupid party lines that may or may not even apply (<strong>"You only get one day!!!!" anyone?</strong>). 
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>That was ridiculous, but I was waaay late on that one.</div>

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:35ad8d5d-987b-40ac-88b2-59d7219b5ab2">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]Im late to this but just wanted to say I agree that the board is pretty boring lately. Im indifferent to a FFW. I think we tried it before and it didn't work but who knows. Anything is worth a shot.<strong> I just hate when those types of threads turn into an excuse to rip apart a knottie just because you don't like her, instead of because she said something stupid</strong>. I would think a flame post would only make sense if the board was really active, not when its slow and there is not much to choose from. Will it be SB specific?
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

Let it be known---  I like all of you ladies here. Even if we don't see eye to eye on everything, we at least all have a few things we can agree on. I think most of the regs here feel the same way (correct me if I'm wrong).

 I think we're all mature enough to flame the shiit out of someone for saying something we don't like without it getting vicious.  I don't know about eveyone else, but when someone is flaming someone else JUST because they don't like them, it's pretty easy to tell that's what they're doing.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:48f4e67f-4503-41ab-9235-51eef8b282e9">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : I have seen this mentioned before, but my question is: how do we find out about the history?  I know that at some point E and SB were the same board, but something happened, and now they are separate.  It's only mentioned obliquely and when others have asked about it in the past, no one really answered the question or explained anything.  I've seen the same thing happen with respect to the callout site.  Newbs have asked what the deal with all of that is, and people don't really answer the question or say that if they don't know, then they should be happy about it or that it doesn't concern them.  There's no way for us to know the history if no one will tell us. 
Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]

I think people don't really answer because they don't like talking about it.  It's like bringing up old shiit that has been hashed and re-hashed.  I only know a teeny bit of what went down but not enough to say that I know exactly how the shiit hit the fan.  But I do know that there were some genuinely hurt feelings - but also that there are plenty of Eeners and SBers from that time who still get along.  They just post on different boards.  From what I understand, it's probably a small handful of posters who genuinely don't enjoy each other.

Then again - I could be wrong.  And the whole "boardwar" thing isn't a very popular topic of conversation.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:a7912670-fcf1-464c-960f-0a44a6771396">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, this is what I don't understand.  Everyone is complaining "Well if people want to speak up, why don't they speak up in the thread that pissed them off?!"  But there are some of us that DO that and we either get ignored or people say "Wow, you're so mean!" (paraphrasing of course).  Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I can see what you mean. I actually prefer people speaking up in the thread itself because it makes it more interesting, reg or not. Then you get the "meanie" comments. I guess I see any kind of FFF as turning into what Blue said, ripping apart people you don't like instead of commenting on something stupid that was said or whatever. But, B is right, if I don't like it, I don't have to be a part of it.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:c2fd8722-e755-42bc-9d46-3fe8b255d1a3">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and hi Nebb! I've missed you. Do you have anything you want to say?
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

something in my abdomen hurts. I think its my pancreas.

TheCranberry

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:a7912670-fcf1-464c-960f-0a44a6771396">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, this is what I don't understand.  Everyone is complaining "Well if people want to speak up, why don't they speak up in the thread that pissed them off?!"  But there are some of us that DO that and we either get ignored or people say "Wow, you're so mean!" (paraphrasing of course).  And it's not that people aren't "mean" enough.  As I said either--I think it's misplaced snarkiness (god I hate that word).  The board as a whole seems so darn quick to validate its regs while jumping down the throats of brand new posters with stupid party lines that may or may not even apply ("You only get one day!!!!" anyone?). 
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I don't think the fact that someone may call you "mean" should stop you from speaking up (I mean the general you).  That could spark a conversation that could in turn liven up the board.  I definitely see your point about validating regs while being hard on newbies.  That happens on so many boards here and other message boards as well.

One of the common themes I'm seeing here is that people are bored and want to see more "spark" here.  It seems more organic to incorporate it into the relevant thread rather than saving up flames for a specific day and thread.

dmiller9274

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:471a7e81-5624-49d0-a2ee-b45f8ec3f93d">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : This was me three years ago. Just so you know.  Also, there have been numerous threads on E and here making sense of who used to be on this board, what happened when they left, who came over, why they came over, why other people 'think/know' they came over, and who is pissed about all of it. I know what you are saying that the questions often go unanswered, but it HAS been talked about in length (maybe not recently) and believe me, it will be talked about again.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>this is kind of a shiity response.  You just posted that newbs need to bone up on history, then basically told her tough titty catch it some other time it gets posted</div>

J&K10910

And, to address the point that Sarah made (or the point I think she was making), I don't really feel like you should have to start threads in order to be a contributer to the board and/or unhappy about the vibe.  Also? I started this thread.  And sure, I started it to get out my feelings about how I feel the board has kind of sucked lately, but here it is, providing us with entertainment.  So I can complain about the suckitude (IMO) while doing my part to attempt to fix it, yes?

eastunder1

Do you guys realize you've debated whether or not to have honest unfiltered opinions for six pages?  SIX PAGES.  Just do it.  Discussing it to death is just going to build it up too much to where the anticipated outcome of "the event where we are all honest" will never live up to its expectations.  Someone gets on your nerves?  Just say it.   What on earth has happened here? 

Also, hi!

Also Also, I think of SB every time I see giraffes. 

Nebb

I will agree that the board is kinda boring and there is not enough drama. If I come home from work and there are less than 2 threads with more than 3 pages, you havnt done your job.

TheCranberry

Thanks MrsC, M&M and AATB for answering the history questions.  I'll look some of those threads up.

marriedfilingjointly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:48f4e67f-4503-41ab-9235-51eef8b282e9">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : I have seen this mentioned before, but my question is: how do we find out about the history?  I know that at some point E and SB were the same board, but something happened, and now they are separate.  It's only mentioned obliquely and when others have asked about it in the past, <strong>no one really answered the question or explained anything.  I've seen the same thing happen with respect to the callout site.  Newbs have asked what the deal with all of that is, and people don't really answer the question or say that if they don't know, then they should be happy about it or that it doesn't concern them.  There's no way for us to know the history if no one will tell us. </strong>
Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]

Well you had ample chance yesterday in ask any knottie anything and instead everyone was all puppies and rainbows and "how did you meet your husband." 

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

Kidding.  That's the answer you get on E (be happy about it, it doesn't concern you, bla bla bla).  I'll be happy to tell you what happened.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:3cc23274-07c3-4a8f-a94c-e0962ed4a2fe">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : I kind of spoke to this point a few posts up. There is an old reg vs. new reg dichtomy that sees the boards as a different place and (most) don't know how people like J&K, Beatles, myself, MFJ, Missy, Ricks etc even started posting mostly on this board.  You have to understand we were new once too and it took us a long time to know the history before us that many of you will never know (or care about). I think it is fine if new regs want this board to be a certain way, but they also have to understand why there would be backlash from people who have been around the culture of these boards for years. I guess I also wish new regs would take history more seriously because, well, we did.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Meg I agree with you about this.  I feel like the new "regs" had a MUCH easier transition onto this board than alot of us did.  Maybe because people didnt get the typical 'hazing' that most of us did, they didnt build up that attitude that others did?

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:378f0861-95fb-4cc1-9259-5e2faee5490d">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : this is kind of a shiity response.  You just posted that newbs need to bone up on history, then basically told her tough titty catch it some other time it gets posted
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

My point in doing so is that how we all learned. I am not saying it is not shiitty on the level you speak of, but more of the way things are done. Case in point you not understanding that as a newer reg.

Although, if people want to get into it, who am I to stop it?

marriedfilingjointly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:35858a41-4fa7-4a67-b7aa-9680d95f9264">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : wait until tomorrow we've already got hot topic for today.  You can explain tomorrow, then we can get another 3 or 4 1000 post count threads about how you are the devil. 
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]


Doh.  Too late.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:a56b6ebf-7c85-4989-bc31-a8261f048dbe">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : THIS. It makes me sad when someone comes into the end of a thread to state the unfriendly obvious, and then the thread gets deserted all of a sudden. Sometimes I am that person, and it's frustrating to feel like people are so attached to the idea of not rocking the boat that they can't even discuss a controversial perspective, or being called out for P&R-ing it up too much. ETA: Oh, and that's terrible Nebb! Are you okay? Or are you just saying that this thread is making you sick to your stomach? ;)
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

Its been happening for 2 days now, but I dont know if it IS my pancreas or not, thats just the closest organ I can figure it is. Adam says its not a problem unless it hurts for a couple of days.

dmiller9274

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:46e3aa9f-886e-4e26-9fc8-91bc4b9580bb">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : My point in doing so is that how we all learned. I am not saying it is not shiitty on the level you speak of, but more of the way things are done. Case in point you not understanding that as a newer reg. Although, if people want to get into it, who am I to stop it?
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

<div>I get that it's done that way, and I'm not going to say that I want to look at another monster of a thread about how things went down.  In general I think it's suckass that newbs get the head pat and told, it's best you don't know, then get flamed for not knowing history.  (not that you were flaming, but it happens)</div>

missy68

Let's see.... I've been called "just nice -that's the best I can say," stupid, weird, bitchy, what else? Accused of photoshopping a wedding photo - it all goes away.