Dear SB,

Starmusica

ok heres my flame.

I kinda think its insane that we are scheduling when and how to be controversial. This is almost worse than a boring board in my opinion. If we are looking to open up the board to more honesty... we need to move off this thread... start new conversations and be ourselves more. As fun as festivus sounds... do you guys realize we are just further restraining this board??

[Deleted User]

I can accept your flame, Jen. I know I'm probably the only one who feels that way.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:13d95f5c-6df1-443c-a1f1-ba5da61d4747">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]I can accept your flame, Jen. I know I'm probably the only one who feels that way.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I flame you again for not knowing I was kidding.

mrscarter052011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:b29b8bfb-6815-4ac4-8ef0-67510d566ecd">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]The last Unpopular Opinion thread even had more "tell me why you think that" and almost no "You're crazy, that's stupid, I disagree"  It's been very love festy.  
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

I agree (Geez, more sunshine and unicorns) but really I was ready to be flamed and I got one comment and it was a polite I disagree not "You're a crazy biatch". 

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:43ea68d0-c476-46df-95d3-ca0782826225">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]Can we post the rules in the first Festivus thread?  Every FFF I ever took part in had a bunch of quarrelling related to whether or not people were following the rules and that's pretty annoying.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

It IS so annoying but at the same time, I believe in letting people defend themselves so I hate to make it 'flame free.' I am more along the lines of not forever hating people for making a call out. That is what I think people worry about the most.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:a50cc32d-0c64-4bec-9efe-6ecb2ab6039e">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]ok heres my flame. I kinda think its insane that we are scheduling when and how to be controversial. This is almost worse than a boring board in my opinion. If we are looking to open up the board to more honesty... we need to move off this thread... start new conversations and be ourselves more. As fun as festivus sounds... do you guys realize we are just further restraining this board??
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

Do you feel like you're not being yourself?

I can start new threads and conversations all day long, but some pretty random shiit goes through my head

beatlesgirl25

B, that drives me nuts too. The rules are kept dynamic so that they can be of convenience to whoever is trying to make a point. I just joke about it, because what else can you do?

So yeah, if the rules here were different (i.e., set), that would be nice.

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:c189a4b7-2c59-4a06-8096-aac89c9119fe">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : Do you feel like you're not being yourself? I can start new threads and conversations all day long, but some pretty random shiit goes through my head
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>To answer your question: not always. I feel like because things have been so tame here, I've ignored comments I side eye.</div><div>
</div><div>It's not the point though.. I just find something so weird about scheduling a flame. Thats just me though.</div>

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:12ff5801-de2c-4632-98af-a7da85a0a0ba">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : It IS so annoying but at the same time, I believe in letting people defend themselves so I hate to make it 'flame free.' I am more along the lines of not forever hating people for making a call out. That is what I think people worry about the most.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]
The rule can be "There are no rules," but I do think we need to have some sort of statement so there's not a ton of "That's against the rules!!!!" when really no one knows the rules.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:d45b5d34-67cd-4ec8-8434-a2507730f46c">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : I flame you again for not knowing I was kidding.
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

Ha! Sorry, I was reading everything really quickly because I have a huge site and deadline on my hands. I flame myself for being an idiot.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:bbe9a23c-4b33-4717-9751-02135a221bef">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : To answer your question: not always. <strong>I feel like because things have been so tame here, I've ignored comments I side eye.</strong> It's not the point though.. I just find something so weird about scheduling a flame. Thats just me though.
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]
That's exactly what we're trying to change, though.

Also, I don't see a problem with scheduling a flame fest, but maybe that's because I'm used to it and I've never really seen it limit discussions outside of the flame thread.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:bbe9a23c-4b33-4717-9751-02135a221bef">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : To answer your question: not always.<strong> I feel like because things have been so tame here, I've ignored comments I side eye</strong>. It's not the point though.. I just find something so weird about scheduling a flame. Thats just me though.
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

Maybe we should all step up and speak our minds a little more. I think you're doing a good job of it now with your dissenting opinion.

SarahPLiz

I agree with Star on this. If the board is so boring, and you all want more interestong topics and drama, then start some instead of just popping in every now and then to complain about how toothless we have become.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:44d97b3f-2f40-4410-b241-b7b8372c236c">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Star on this. If the board is so boring, and you all want more interestong topics and drama, then start some instead of just popping in every now and then to complain about how toothless we have become.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
I'd venture to say the people in this thread complaining are the same ones that post the majority of the threads here.  It's not like we're not doing anything to change it.

anna.oskar

I find it quite interesting that a peaceful , anger free environment is boring to most and that the cure seems to be adding conflict.

Maybe this is why world peace will never happen.  Someone would get bored and drop a nuke to just liven things up a touch. 

MeaghanandMichael

I have to say, I really like that you are sticking to your guns here, Star. I don't really agree with you because I guess I am just an older generation of knottie. That's how things have been done around here for a long time and it helps keep every thread from devolving into a thread jack war or people being annoyed at stupid crap. I can see where this discussion we are having has a lot to do with what people are used to versus outside opinions from people who have only been looking in at it, not in the middle of it.

beatlesgirl25

Atta girl, SarahP! I wish I could be around more to contribute more excitement to the board. But I'd like to think that, when I'm here, I'm honest. But I've also been told repeatedly that I'm super nice when I think I've been bitchy, so there's that. This is why I need everyone's help.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:87a39b5e-2fee-4183-8486-015e89a70425">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : The rule can be "There are no rules," but I do think we need to have some sort of statement so there's not a ton of "That's against the rules!!!!" when really no one knows the rules.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

My opinion is that the only hard rule should be that it has to be TK related.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:68f4f1d9-6374-4ea3-b5e0-b75c8c5a0059">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : My opinion is that the only hard rule should be that it has to be TK related.
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]
I can certainly go for that.  Can we all agree to not bitch about not following the rules, then?

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:9958ffbd-5b7f-4500-8832-65986805e4b9">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]You should all make AEs and have your weekly airing of grievances.  That way you can quench your thirst for honesty while still being able to be safe from backlash :) Posted by MandK9[/QUOTE]

This is a really bad idea. If people actually did this, I would send you all shiit in the mail. Literal shiit.

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:44d97b3f-2f40-4410-b241-b7b8372c236c">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Star on this. If the board is so boring, and you all want more interestong topics and drama, then start some instead of just popping in every now and then to complain about how toothless we have become.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

I think the consensus is that we HAVE been stopping in but don't pick fights or start new threads because things are just eye roll worthy sometimes. I think it is fair to flame the fact that people just eye roll and close a thread instead of speaking up and then complain about boredom, but can you see how this gets really circular real fast? I like that this thread is shaking things up a bit.

Nebb

You guys need to shiit or get off the pot. flame if youre going to flame, but quit discussing the logistics of how and when. Just do it.

SarahPLiz

I should have been more specific, b. J&k started this tread, and Cew chimed in and neither has started or really participated in a thread here lately that i recall. So that was my point. If you look at the first page of posts, most of those thread starters are not in here complaining.

MandK9

Anna, my opinion has always been that we might seek out drama and controversy here on the boards so that we can get it out of our systems before it interferes in our real lives.  Sometimes it's easier to channel all that energy into a semi-anonymous haven. 

TheCranberry

Question: If people feel like they need to speak out more or call people out on their statements, why don't they just do that?  I don't know all of the history of the boards other than what's been alluding to various times, but why was the board different before?  Did the controversial people leave?  Are people posting less?  Are people who were more open and forthright before holding back?

FFF or FFW or whatever seems like manufactured drama for the sake of drama.  Why can't everyone agree that they will stop holding back (to the extent they are holding back now) and address any issues in that particular thread?  We could also work harder to find more interesting things to post and talk and about.   

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:b29b8bfb-6815-4ac4-8ef0-67510d566ecd">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]The last Unpopular Opinion thread even had more "tell me why you think that" and almost no "You're crazy, that's stupid, I disagree"  It's been very love festy.  
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

This is as far as I am, so this may have already been addressed, but ACTUALLY the last Unpop Op thread was a big fat fail with the whole damn thing turning into a dog conversation by page 3. 

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:83ed8b75-9112-4010-a60a-9f99a9105c80">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]I should have been more specific, b. J&k started this tread, and Cew chimed in and neither has started or really participated in a thread here lately that i recall. So that was my point. If you look at the first page of posts, most of those thread starters are not in here complaining.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
Okay, that I can see, and I won't argue with you, even though my new position on this board is contrary chick.

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:6c3e492a-adf6-46f0-b173-76fdae9d4743">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to say, I really like that you are sticking to your guns here, Star. I don't really agree with you because I guess I am just an older generation of knottie. That's how things have been done around here for a long time and it helps keep every thread from devolving into a thread jack war or people being annoyed at stupid crap. I can see where this discussion we are having has a lot to do with what people are used to versus outside opinions from people who have only been looking in at it, not in the middle of it.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

<div>Because I am being honest I will also admit I have never been apart of a FFF because I started posting here just as the board wars started to calm down and things got a little quieter. I do see the potential for all hell breaking loose on every thread if there isn't a designated flame area. I just can't help but see the  irony of saying we need to loosen up and then setting up rules...... but I think anything that moves this board along is a good thing. This board cannot die.. where the hell else will I get my entertainment from when I am stuck at a desk in school?</div>

eastunder1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:1f52fd43-1f78-4415-abc9-b2d9f0f60d00">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]Until it arrives I will continue hijacking your thoughts. Dear SB, What is with people whining just because they're not thought of during AKA type threads?    Or maybe i'm the only person who gets annoyed by the fishing for attention and you should just ignore me.  Whatever. ~B~
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

This x billionty.  Its so pathetic.   Just hold a flashing neon sign that says "Validate me!! Like me!! tell me I matter!!" instead.

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-sb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:edbc1d88-c919-4622-b922-affe6c5e5ff0Post:3cc23274-07c3-4a8f-a94c-e0962ed4a2fe">Re: Dear SB,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear SB, : I kind of spoke to this point a few posts up. There is an old reg vs. new reg dichtomy that sees the boards as a different place and (most) don't know how people like J&K, Beatles, myself, MFJ, Missy, Ricks etc even started posting mostly on this board.  You have to understand we were new once too and it took us a long time to know the history before us that many of you will never know (or care about). I think it is fine if new regs want this board to be a certain way, but they also have to understand why there would be backlash from people who have been around the culture of these boards for years. I guess I also wish new regs would take history more seriously because, well, we did.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I suppose I may qualify as a new reg. I respect the old regs- a lot. I know the history (somewhat) and bet if it had been going on when I started posting (while I was planning my wedding) I would probably have GBCK. All the more power to ya. I'm thinking the flame post is now inevitable so I may not love the idea but I will participate if I am around... </div>