FFF

georgia_bride09

A) Pirate, stop whining. Just take your flames and move on like a big girl. It's not personal, it's just fresh on our minds.

B)
[QUOTE]I'll go against the grain on the GBCK posts.  If it's a ploy for a bit of sympathy and a little "please stay," well, that's understandable when you've just been fairly viciously attacked for your looks and your personality.  Also, if (as I think was true in Heels' case), you take some responsibility for the crap that went down and you're acknowledging that "hey, this has gotten unhealthy and it's getting to me and I have to leave," then I think it's okay.  Other people have toughed it out, and good for them, but that doesn't mean (to me, anyway), that someone who doesn't and who posts for a bit of sympathy and good feelings is pathetic.  I just think it's human. 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

I don't buy this. I also don't think she was "viciously" attacked anywhere that I've seen, and if it was on the call out site, then she wasn't the only one, and everyone else has taken their "vicious attacks" like adults (Amoro and Alix come to mind) and realize the stupid person behind them is insignificant and not worth getting riled up over. I'm sure in her 3 years here, she's told someone to get thicker skin. GBCK posts are 100% AW posts.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:e577e61d-b0c6-45cd-a734-7ffe05d2ccc5">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]The reasons I stopped participating in FFF are suddenly becoming hazy. Is it because I think FFF is lame, or because you guys are REALLY bad at this?
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]
I think it was because when you find douchebaggery, you prefer to call out the douchebaggery right when you see it. As opposed to saving it for Friday. Or something. But yeah, it devolves into cake, or Alix's little problem (I don't wanna say it because it's like Beetlejuice. You say it three times and BAM we're talking about it.)

vallyhoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:8bf10996-a272-4617-97bf-bf4da6b39f44">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Vally.... I like your bowtie. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

::swoon:: I love ewe.

AmoroAgain

OWN, I respect your opinion on this, but I've known Heels a lot longer and better than some other people here, and she definitely did it as a martyr.  The amount of mean things she's done and said over the past few years is basically a drop in the hat compared with what she's taken recently.  

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:ebc96db4-67bf-4bad-842d-9788bf0ca10b">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Yes! Well I was technically Hollywood, but right on the other side of the border. I can tell you (since I don't live there anymore) that I was on Lanewood. (The street with the tall trees that I always thought looked so out of place right there.) Right by Hollywood High.  You will LOVE it. Antonio makes his own tequila. It's incredible.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

I'm definitely less than a mile from Hollywood High.

I love good tequila. HATE bad tequila, love good tequila. There's a fancy tequila place that opened last year downtown near the Staples Center. I'll tell FI we don't have to go that far for a good tequila restaurant now!

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:49985e28-494d-4597-bd6c-e97c1d240d7c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Well, as I got done reading the thread, it just so happened that FFF got started. Would you like me to C&P so you have my opinion in both places? Also, no one said you were an awful person.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

I really am sorry if I came off condescending. I didn't mean to.  I really was jealous that you could do so much. I could never do that. It didn't seem that you were insulted in the thread, but I probably should have read your comments more carefully.

I realize they didn't say I was an awful person, just other names like an AW and PW, which were unappreciated.  I just don't understand why 150+ people would participate in a poll with a thread w/ over 50 responses, and so many people would be so against it.  I understand if it is just my responses, but I have already tried to explain what I meant by them. I really just don't get the logic. I wasn't posting anything more about my budget than anyone else was including in their posts.

[Deleted User]

i don't really have any flames, other than the stupid gbck. i am rather amused that jnic hasn't turned up since i flamed her in fff last week. or has she? i haven't seen her.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:57e7ab40-7d73-4618-a3e5-966088579f94">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I really am sorry if I came off condescending. I didn't mean to. <strong> I really was jealous that you did so much. </strong>I could never do that. It didn't seem that you were insulted in the thread, but I probably should have read your comments more carefully. I realize they didn't say I was an awful person, just other names like an AW and PW, which were unappreciated.  I just don't understand why 150+ people would participate in a poll with a thread w/ over 50 responses, and so many people would be so against it.  I understand if it is just my responses, but I have already tried to explain what I meant by them. I really just don't get the logic. I wasn't posting anything more about my budget than anyone else was including in their posts.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]
You're talking about Whit, not me. Jesus. Just stop.

temerityjane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:e01684a5-1245-42ca-934a-e969ae3a40b4">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]OWN, I respect your opinion on this, but I've known Heels a lot longer and better than some other people here, and she definitely did it as a martyr.  The amount of mean things she's done and said over the past few years is basically a drop in the hat compared with what she's taken recently.  
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

Honestly, I'm not her and of course I can't speak for everyone but no one said anything THAT MEAN in the callouts about Heels.

I mean, "Go away," "You're ugly," and "You have braces!"

Please, I say meaner shiit to Phil before he gets out of bed in the morning.

Actually, if he disturbs me when he's putting his boots on, replace "You have braces" with "You're a sack of cocks" and that's EXACTLY what I say to Phil in the morning.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:6a3287ae-b881-4c71-921e-c26f405dcaec">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Honestly, I'm not her and of course I can't speak for everyone but no one said anything THAT MEAN in the callouts about Heels. I mean, "Go away," "You're ugly," and "You have braces!" Please, I say meaner shiit to Phil before he gets out of bed in the morning. Actually, if he disturbs me when he's putting his boots on, replace "You have braces" with "You're a sack of cocks" and that's EXACTLY what I say to Phil in the morning.
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]
DED

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Pirate, I'm wondering. How the hell would your FI's family know what you spent on the wedding to begin with? If you provide a meal, alcohol, a reception location and dancing, who's to say you spent $5,000 or $25,000?

ohwhynot

Amoro & TJ, I see your points.  I've seen a few GBCK's, not just Heels', and sometimes they're really obnoxious and sometimes, for the reasons I explained, I don't think they are. 

Amoro, I realize there's a lot of history that I don't know about.  I'm not trying to overstep, because I know I don't know it all.  But Heels did kind of make some references to not really being proud of the stuff she did and just realizing that it was bad for her all around to stay.  So while I am sure that could be seen as hugely irritating to someone who'd been the target of her crap, it didn't seem wrong to me.  That's all - I respect your opinion on this too.  Esp. since you know more about the behind-the-scenes stuff than I do. 

TJ, ther people have definitely had worse things posted about them - no argument there.  I really admire the people who have shrugged it off and/or made a joke about it and had some fun with it.  But just because some people can take it, or can take it for awhile, doesn't mean it's necessarily pathetic when someone can't.  

FutureMrsTR

TJ - you're killing me.

eastunder1

I think making "jokes" about skinny girls being b*tchy because they need to eat is really out of line.  If it was the other way around and someone said that an overweight girl needed to go eat her feelings and cheer up, they would be burned at a the stake before you could blink.  It isn't ok just because its the other way around.  Hi, double standard.

temerityjane

I didn't call Heels pathetic. I said she had a persecution complex.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:f4e67668-8713-43be-b9da-8423769e00a7">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't call Heels pathetic. I said she had a persecution complex.
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

You're right, you didn't.  That wasn't meant to be a direct quote, more of a response to the general feelings toward GBCKs.  Sorry for the misunderstanding. 

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:f1a0a254-ef3a-4cae-bd84-ad9bb0e2b3a9">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Amoro & TJ, I see your points.  I've seen a few GBCK's, not just Heels', and sometimes they're really obnoxious and sometimes, for the reasons I explained, I don't think they are.  Amoro, I realize there's a lot of history that I don't know about.  I'm not trying to overstep, because I know I don't know it all.  But Heels did kind of make some references to not really being proud of the stuff she did and just realizing that it was bad for her all around to stay.  So while I am sure that could be seen as hugely irritating to someone who'd been the target of her crap, it didn't seem wrong to me.  That's all - I respect your opinion on this too.  Esp. since you know more about the behind-the-scenes stuff than I do. 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

I saw that reference, but while it gave me a grudging amount of respect for her to have said that, at the same time, I don't think she's stopped doing the stuff she'd been up to prior to the GBCK either.  She talked a game about not wanting to hurt people's feelings anymore, but that was a lie too. 

You can't always take people at face value.

georgia_bride09

OWN, I completely understand where you're coming from, but it just seemed really AW, probably because of the account being deleted, compunded by the follow-up with a NEW sn. Why delete one account just to make another?

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:2cc5c1f4-da59-435d-aa6f-2fd53d8a1c1c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]OWN, I completely understand where you're coming from, but it just seemed really AW, probably because of the account being deleted, compunded by the follow-up with a NEW sn. Why delete one account just to make another?
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]
To be fair, she created that one first, then changed it because it had her and her H's first names in it. I'm pretty sure it was an old SN.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:2cc5c1f4-da59-435d-aa6f-2fd53d8a1c1c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]OWN, I completely understand where you're coming from, but it just seemed really AW, probably because of the account being deleted, compunded by the follow-up with a NEW sn. Why delete one account just to make another?
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

I can KIND OF see wanting your account deleted because you don't want the temptation to post. (Lame, but I can see it.) But she already had a back up account anyway, so it's clear she can just post from that one...

It's like oh, hey, I have this other account. THAT I WON'T BE POSTING FROM.

pumpkinpumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:2cc5c1f4-da59-435d-aa6f-2fd53d8a1c1c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]OWN, I completely understand where you're coming from, but it just seemed really AW, probably because of the account being deleted, compunded by the follow-up with a NEW sn. Why delete one account just to make another?
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

Yeah, her "oh well if this account actually gets deleted then I have one with sabrinanadwes just in case" was ridiculous. Plus then she posted with it, GBCKd AGAIN, plus gave out her email address. Which, I'm sure she did just to get the "We miss you/don't leave/we love you" emails. PLUS, it opened it up for people to send her nasty messages, then she can be the victim some more. It all just made me do a huge eye roll.

temerityjane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:2cc5c1f4-da59-435d-aa6f-2fd53d8a1c1c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]OWN, I completely understand where you're coming from, but it just seemed really AW, probably because of the account being deleted, compunded by the follow-up with a NEW sn. Why delete one account just to make another?
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

LC already covered the new/old SN thing, but she also hung around for that entire post. Waiting to see if TK would actually delete her name. I got the feeling that if TK didn't delete it, she wasn't going to go anywhere. I don't think she would have gone through with it if she hadn't started that snowball rolling down hill and HAD to go through with it.

Celles

I think intent counts for a lot, TJ.  The words themselves may not have been "that mean," but the intention behind them was obviously to hurt her.  Do I think she overdid it with the long, drawn out and very public GBCK?  Honestly, yes.  But if you read the thread, then you know I was one of many posters to attempt to reassure her that she was still liked and valued.  Everyone needs a little sympathy and reassurance sometimes.  Like OWN, I can't begrudge Heels for asking for it, and since I sincerely like her, I was happy to offer up a little of my own.  I'd do the same thing if it was someone else -- Amoro, P2, Nebb.  I don't care.  No one deserves to be deliberately and maliciously hurt, even if they were once the ones doing the hurting.  An eye for an eye makes the world go blind...  etc.

 I think a common trap we fall into (online and in real life, but especially online) is allowing a few aspects of someone's personality shape our entire perspective of them as a person.  It's one thing to say "X, that was an awful thing you said to Y..." and another entirely to say "Z, you're obviously an idiot, so why don't you do us all a favor and GBCK already?"  The first I'll say (and have!); the second is out of line and just plain mean.

georgia_bride09

Bottom line, if she HAD to post a GBCK, she could have put her e-mail in there, or told people who wanted it to PM her, OR just talk to people on FB. Any of those options would have lessened the major side-eye she got.

salt78

Personally I don't care if she's here and I don't care if she's not. Same goes for everyone that posts here. But the whole thing has just been so farking childish. 

Begging someone to stay on a message board like their lives will end if they don't? So stupid. 

pumpkinpumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:24254848-a263-487a-9e51-3127b87e3070">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally I don't care if she's here and I don't care if she's not. Same goes for everyone that posts here. But the whole thing has just been so farking childish.  Begging someone to stay on a message board like their lives will end if they don't? So stupid. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Yep.

Celles

... if I can't edit random typos out of my posts, then I might GBCK. 

*shakesfist*

temerityjane

Look, I don't think Heels was wrong for leaving. The way she did it was WAY AW though.

And I don't think Heels was "wrong" for having her feelings hurt by what was said about her.

But I also think that Heels was very convinced about how much other people dislike her, how much "E" was thinking about her, and how much thought people as a whole were dedicating to her. I think she blew every little thing out of proportion, which made her an attractive target for what is likely just one or two dedicated assholes.

I think that a lot of people have had a lot worse said about them, and I think that Heels has said a lot worse herself. Neither of those things require that Heels not care about what was said about her, but they DO make Heels look ridiculous.

I think she painted a portrait of herself as the ever-persecuted Heels, and in that way, continued to bring stuff down on herself long after no one else really gave a shiit.

She was such a Nebb about the whole thing.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-42?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08c0a309-7e01-476a-90bd-ea2d4015a52dPost:0ddc310e-90cd-4e4d-9c35-a293b91788d0">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I'm sorry, I don't understand these words.  Can I get an MS Paint rendition, please?
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Would photoshop be okay? I'm sophisticated, you know.

</div>

georgia_bride09

TJ, you're ruling FFF today.

Tiara or sash?





(I'd pick the tiara)




























More sparkles.