FFF

eastunder1

How on earth is EmilyinChile too big for her britches?   She doens't participate in board drama, she's not an overwhelming attention whore... I don't get it?

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:7a9552bc-7410-434d-a6f5-dd4cc4474a5d">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I agree that probably 90% of people in the north didn't care about slavery one way or the other. But almost every event that the south used as justification for getting all butthurt at the north had to do with slavery. Actually, the primary cause of the war was probably manifest destiny - in that both the north and south believed the US was destined to expand to the Pacific. They just had very different views about whether or not slavery would be allowed. Missouri compromise? Bleeding Kansas? Ring a bell? Other causes of the war: Dred Scott decision - slavery Compromise of 1850 - upset the balance in the senate between free states and slave states And there's more, I just don't feel like talking about them or looking things up right now.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Listen, I double majored in Poli Sci and American History.  I focused on the Civil War.  You don't want to fight this with me. 

Yes, I know about Bleeding Kansas, but who was the main perpetrator of Bleeding Kansas?  A guy named John Brown.  Ring a bell?  He had a small group of followers who did most of the damage in Kansas. 

georgia_bride09

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I think the funniest thing about you being called out for throwing a tantrum is that this is a flaming thread where people vent about what is on their minds. It's not like you started a whole new thread just to talk about this.  That would be an attention whore move. Methinks there is just some butthurt-ness about what you are saying. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:0a979168-1cb7-429a-a415-14e6c1f8f72e">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it me or does this FFF seem more vitriolic than usual?
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

<div>Not just you. <3</div>

sarah0725

If the Founding Fathers had gotten their act together and banned slavery while writing the Constitution, the Civil War would not have happened. You can call it whatever you want, but the major difference between the North and the South before the war began was the fact that the South was largely a slave-labor-based agrarian economy, while the North was an industrial economy based on the constant influx of immigrant labor. Most of the causes of the war end up coming back to this in one way or another.

As for the Confederate flag, it's not only racist, but treasonous. And I think it's kind of rich that the people who would fly it would also consider me to be un-American.

crfische

I feel bad for Mr. AND Mrs. P2. I think that's valid.

I've never had to live with anyone who has cancer or go through that, so I can't say how I would or wouldn't react. But I do know that I'm sure as hell not going to judge it.

And, in all honesty, I think the SB/E thing happened when people first started posting on SB because there were a lot of "who do you like? who do you want to post here? Who gets on your nerves" polls, and then some lobbying from the SB's on E to get those posters over there.

Which is well and good, and we have those polls on E all the time, but I think that's what created this weird line divide thinger. Partially, because there are a lot of us who have posted on E for a long time with a lot of you and like a lot of you, and you can't deny that there was a bunch of slams of the e board over there when it first started. There still are. Much like there are SB slams over here.

And E WAS good enough for a lot of you for a long time. I don't blame you for momving for any reason. I post on both boards because I like just about everyone, but I can kind of see where a lot of people felt the line was drawn.

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:af62a75b-3662-4eec-be9f-6df6e57533e7">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : ? I didn't infer anything.  Moose said that she's been through a lot with dealing with it on her end.  While I don't deny that, and feel awful for her, I don't think I'm inferring anything. But go ahead and call me a lunatic just because I don't agree.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Moose's meaning was clear, you took it to an absolute extreme so that there could be no possible reason to support P2 losing her temper, when in actual fact, with the stress she's clearly under, it's an understandable situation. That is called <em>inferring</em> something that wasn't actually meant, in order to support your stance. This isn't rocket science, really.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:731fad66-85cc-46c6-b7f6-5a4d161303fa">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I agree that I don't know his reasons, but I can't see in any world, for any reason, that bitching how your husband puts a dish in the dishwasher and not feeling bad about it subsequently is not petty and immature. I just think it's shitty, cancer or not.  And if having cancer doesn't excuse his behavior, then it shouldn't excuse hers.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

please read what I'm saying Sucrets.

I'm actually giving BOTH of them a free pass, not just one or the other, because of his illness.  I'm not throwing red flags or hating on Mr. Pumpkin for being late.  I'm also not hating on P2 for being upset about it because of the same external solution.

You're assuming that I think Mark is awful for being late.  I don't.  But, the same reason it's understandable that he was late, it's understandable that P2 was angry - if irrationally so.

When it comes to cancer there are no guarantees, there are no definite answers.  It had to suck to expect to see your husband for lunch, then have him not appear, making it one more thing she couldn't count on.  One more indefinite where a couple of years ago, everything was more definite and predictable.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm completely in agreement that the citizens of the confederacy did not see this as a single issue, though. But to me, it's like saying, "Well, Hitler did some good stuff. He didn't JUST kill Jews." Really, anything else he did is a moot point in the present. But I'm sure people living in the Third Reich thought that way. Hindsight is 20/20, eh?

eastunder1

This is a fascinating blend of penis measuring and history one upping.  It makes me sad in the pants that I have to leave it.

(This wasn't sarcasm.  I'm bummed.)

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:38e2d5df-f904-43a7-845e-814cbb7cd450">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Is EiC me? And if so, how? Genuine question, I definitely haven't meant anything that way and am not sure what came across that way. If not, I will just quietly hum "You're So Vain" to myself.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

FWIW, I thought we were saying basically the same thing.  I wasn't trying to nitpick your phrasing; just put it a slightly different light, since I know people will get hung up on the idea of a free pass.

But by all means -- hum!  I left my iPod at home today.  :(

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:af62a75b-3662-4eec-be9f-6df6e57533e7">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : ? I didn't infer anything.  Moose said that she's been through a lot with dealing with it on her end.  While I don't deny that, and feel awful for her, I don't think I'm inferring anything. But go ahead and call me a lunatic just because I don't agree.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]


Actually, you inferred that I think that P2's anger was justified and that I'm not giving her H a "free pass."

I am.

salt78

Also in P2's situation:

Just because it took her a couple days to get over something =/= she was being a horrid rude bitch to him constantly during that time. Maybe she just needed to vent somewhere. A lot of us do that here last I checked. 

jasmineh7777

My FI is getting a butter pecan grooms cake with a Star Trek emblem.
So, if anyone wants a cake discussion, here's your excuse.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:c2753d57-05d1-4e15-a3ba-101ca724caad">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm completely in agreement that the citizens of the confederacy did not see this as a single issue, though. But to me, it's like saying, "Well, Hitler did some good stuff. He didn't JUST kill Jews." Really, anything else he did is a moot point in the present. But I'm sure people living in the Third Reich thought that way. Hindsight is 20/20, eh?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

*facepalm*

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:38e2d5df-f904-43a7-845e-814cbb7cd450">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Is EiC me? And if so, how? Genuine question, I definitely haven't meant anything that way and am not sure what came across that way. If not, I will just quietly hum "You're So Vain" to myself.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

It was your free passes comment. It came off as being really unnecessarily mean and completely unfounded. If that's not how you meant it, I apologise, but that's how it sounded when I read it.

danieliza1127

Ditto Fische.  A line was drawn.  This is not the same as board hopping and the people that keep saying "what's the big deal, freakin drop it" are the people who don't know or comprehend the whole story.  It would be easier to let it go if "they" would just own up to why they left E and took their buddies with them.  Yes, many of you are just board hopping, but the original group who left did it on purpose with intention.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:9a729655-0da3-4a29-be81-3af799e2dfe2">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Listen, I double majored in Poli Sci and American History.  I focused on the Civil War.  You don't want to fight this with me.  Yes, I know about Bleeding Kansas, but who was the main perpetrator of Bleeding Kansas?  A guy named John Brown.  Ring a bell?  He had a small group of followers who did most of the damage in Kansas. 
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

I'm finishing an MA in US history in December, Amoro. (Not concentrating on the Civil War, though, or military history, or political history.)

Yes, I know all about John Brown. He and I share a birthday. Just because he incited most of it doesn't mean it wasn't a major political issue. Harper's Ferry involved literally only a few dozen people and that was a HUGE political issue.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:3c3374c0-aecd-4f6a-aebc-a70759399843">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : It was your free passes comment. It came off as being really unnecessarily mean and completely unfounded. If that's not how you meant it, I apologise, but that's how it sounded when I read it.
Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

Oh then no, not at all. I really did mean what Celles said - empathy for both and cutting them both some slack - and just used "free pass" since that was the term that had previously been used. I basically meant that I agree with Moose, they've both been through a lot and don't deserve to be jumped on for things that under normal circumstances would be jump-able.

salt78

I love EmilyinChile. 

That is all. And yes I'm doing it wrong. 

jasmineh7777

So, what's the whole story?
And I really hope this is better than the pot roast story, because that was a total let down.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:3c566de1-6eee-4eee-9dc6-40bace1b1639">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I'm finishing an MA in US history in December, Amoro. (Not concentrating on the Civil War, though, or military history, or political history.) Yes, I know all about John Brown. He and I share a birthday. Just because he incited most of it doesn't mean it wasn't a major political issue. Harper's Ferry involved literally only a few dozen people and that was a HUGE political issue.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

The issue wasn't about slavery, but about what people should or could do about it, AND the clear rabidness of his cause that didn't jive with what a majority of the people in the US wanted.

Anyway. :)

angie74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:009e69db-1bc3-4b25-b934-e9034f279c45">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm completely in agreement that the citizens of the confederacy did not see this as a single issue, though. But to me, it's like saying, "Well, Hitler did some good stuff. He didn't JUST kill Jews." Really, anything else he did is a moot point in the present. But I'm sure people living in the Third Reich thought that way. Hindsight is 20/20, eh? I

n Response to Re: FFF : *facepalm*
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]


seriously, msmerymac? you sound so freaking ignorant.

are you aware that Hitler orcestrated the systematic mass murder of millions? have you heard of that, or did you sleep through WW2 and the Civil War in school?

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:6cdb436b-f513-4c7c-b67a-d78a8a515399">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Oh then no, not at all. I really did mean what Celles said - empathy for both and cutting them both some slack - and just used "free pass" since that was the term that had previously been used. I basically meant that I agree with Moose, they've both been through a lot and don't deserve to be jumped on for things that under normal circumstances would be jump-able.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

Okie dokes! Well then, I apologise. I just found the use of free pass came across as being really sarcastic and unnecessary. But sorry, again, if that's not what you meant.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:d3b011a2-d3e9-4785-a374-b3a159bbdbbf">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE] And, in all honesty, I think the SB/E thing happened when people first started posting on SB because there were a lot of "who do you like? who do you want to post here? Who gets on your nerves" polls, and then some lobbying from the SB's on E to get those posters over there.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

What's funny is that this is how Nebb started posting over there in the first place. A lot of people said they liked Nebb, then she came over and said, "Oh, well, I'm sick of E and you guys want to welcome me, so cool." And then she biitches about more E posters coming over and "invading" SB. Okay, then.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:1888f7b1-58eb-41f7-87f2-8d63b62cbbc1">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto Fische.  A line was drawn.  This is not the same as board hopping and the people that keep saying "what's the big deal, freakin drop it" are the people who don't know or comprehend the whole story.  It would be easier to let it go if "they" would just own up to why they left E and took their buddies with them.  Yes, many of you are just board hopping, but the original group who left did it on purpose with intention.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

Okay, I can see that.  But who is the SB?  The board hoppers (who seem, frankly, to make up the majority of the posts, imo)?  The original group who left with intention?   The new people on there? 

All the "just admit it" type comments seem to be aimed at who you call the original people who left with intention.  But why do the actions and intent of those people = the snarky board? 

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:64160f0b-737b-4679-8318-309015ce0332">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : seriously, msmerymac? you sound so freaking ignorant. are you aware that Hitler orcestrated the systematic mass murder of millions? have you heard of that, or did you sleep through WW2 and the Civil War in school?
Posted by angie74[/QUOTE]

Well, the Confederates had Andersonville, in addition to that whole slavery thing.

nda_roxybabe

Who really cares if people did actually leave for a certain reason? Does it matter?

mandysmear

When my mom passed away.  I was awful to H.  Not all day every day, but I actually recall getting mad because he put a plate in the sink and not the dishwasher once. 

He leaves plates around all the time now.  I don't give a shiit.  I pick it up and put it away.  It's not something that bothers me when I'm of sound mind and not depressed/stressed out. 

Emotions run high when dealing with stressful situations.  I'm sure we ALL know that.  It's not exclusive to people dealing with cancer or death.  Stress takes a toll on people.  (people become forgetful, people lose their tempers quickly and may or may not feel badly about it after)  And when you lash out, who gets the brunt of it?  Those we love most and who are closest to us.  That's pretty common knowledge, I thought anyway.

So, yes, Moosey, I agree, they both get a free pass on their behaviours. 

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:01cae9e8-9ba0-4cf4-bafe-bebca5e98424">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I love EmilyinChile.  That is all. And yes I'm doing it wrong. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Aww, thanks, Salt. I am now also doing it wrong.