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Re: FFF

  • It's kind of funny to me that two of the prevailing conversations going on now are about the US Civil War and the perceived E civil war. 
  • edited June 2010
    Re: the P2 thing, the element that's not being addressed is that she "didn't feel bad about it at all." I totally agree that in circumstances of prolonged stress, illness, what have you between a husband and wife, things are bound to get petty and irrational on both sides. Now that I've read the actual post by P2, I can say that I was totally sympathetic until I read the last part where she had no remorse. It was disturbing.

    H and I fight and take cheap shots once in awhile, but afterward I always feel bad if I've hurt his feelings, even if he hurt mine first. I don't ever want to be the cause of my husband's pain or unhappiness. I'm not saying P2 does want this, but the way she phrased her situation suggested that perhaps just this once, she did want him to suffer.

    EDIT: I realize in the time it took me to write this, we've sort of moved past the issue, so... carry on then.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:4e618886-f73a-48bd-b8a8-6dea15cdce58">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's kind of funny to me that two of the prevailing conversations going on now are about the US Civil War and the perceived E civil war. 
    Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

    This is a hilarious, and totally astute comment.
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  • Re: P2. I forgot it was in a confessions post. Not that things in confessions get a free pass (sorry Moose), but it was clearly something she wanted to vent about but that she might have been embarassed to bring up in normal conversation, right? I feel the same way about "i judge" posts, unless they're really off the wall - we all have things we judge that might be irrational, and that's just the way it is.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:6e70fc66-3e9c-4fa0-8189-f94d43e538f1">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I have a mental block on that word.  Whenever I see it, I replace it with flowers and butterflies followed by the Beatles singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.  Then I skip the rest of the post while singing.
    Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

    I can get behind this coping mechanism.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:75fb8047-0627-4d94-95cf-948ea70fbcd5">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]Re: the P2 thing, the element that's not being addressed is that she "didn't feel bad about it at all." I totally agree that in circumstances of prolonged stress, illness, what have you between a husband and wife, things are bound to get petty and irrational on both sides. Now that I've read the actual post by P2, I can say that I was totally sympathetic until I read the last part where she had no remorse. It was disturbing. H and I fight and take cheap shots once in awhile, but afterward I always feel bad if I've hurt his feelings, even if he hurt mine first. I don't ever want to be the cause of my husband's pain or unhappiness. I'm not saying P2 does want this, but the way she phrased her situation suggested that perhaps just this once, she did want him to suffer.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    Honestly, she never really posted why he was almost an hour late.  She never indicated what disucssions they had about it or how both of them handled the issue at the time. 

    I don't think we know enough about what happened to really judge whether or not she can or should hold a grudge.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:50b6a5e4-9d81-4cbd-8f4a-cba4314b091a">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I can get behind this coping mechanism.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]


    Figured you could :)

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:7cc2d510-0f9f-4d43-8368-4a0fb345ef58">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : nobody is saying the south was full of a bunch of peace seeking angels. and a lot of what they did may have been wrong. but seriously. to compare the death of 13,000 prisoners of war to the systematic death of millions of innocent civilians is a little bit skewed.
    Posted by angie74[/QUOTE]

    I'm not sure what your point is here. I don't really want to get into some pissing contest about whether the Holocaust or slavery was worse, because that seems like kind of a strange discussion to have. But I've read a lot about slavery, and when I think about the things that happened over a few hundred years of systematic persecution, it makes my blood boil. And it makes me pretty unsympathetic about any "cause" that would seek to protect it.

    Also, it makes me terribly sad that something like Andersonville happened on American soil. Pretty much the worst war crime of the Civil War.
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  • Ok, I have a lot to say, responding to many different things.

    Are you saying that you've NEVER lashed out to your husband unnessecarily? I've been grumpy to H because I had a DREAM that he did something to me. I've been petty before, I'd be willing to bet anything that ALL of us have. And that's over something as petty as a bad day. Her husband did something shitty to her and she responded in a petty way. And? There's a ton of shiit going on there that none of us can understand. That entire family needs a little slack given to them. Oh, and the comment you made about not using something bad as an excuse to be a bitch? That's usually saved for when they're a bitch ON THE BOARD. Remember, E went psycho on us because she had a miscarraige. A little different than all the problems originating and staying IRL. She vented about it here. Get over it. And I have to say, Sucrets, you've been a raging biitch since about 2 weeks before you had your baby. Not sure what crawled up your ass and died, but it would be nice if it were removed.

    I don't like that everyone has moved, but I can understand it. Your choice to go where you want. I'm not going anywhere 1 because I don't think I'd be welcome and 2, because I didn't board hop before. I'm not going to do it now when it's the twilight zone over there. What bugs the shiit out of me is the defending of it. When I started reading, I was glad that SS and co didn't come over here to defend themselves. And then she did. It's all so fucking petty. The 'original' group, Bec, Cew and Heels (until today) just leave well enough alone and stay on 'their' board. Roxy and Mery, the only thing that comes to mind is 'thou dost protest too much" It's coming across as very foot stompy.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • Union troops had prison camps, too.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:60b7b69c-752b-4651-ad18-0470e1107c25">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Wait, so him having cancer and going through chemo =/= free pass for chemo brain, but being his spouse = f<strong>ree pass to be awful to him. </strong>Got it.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    Getting upset with him for not putting a dish in the dishwasher =/= being awful to him.
    This is a habit he's hand since day #1. AND, I'm really tired of it. He can take it to the sink, but not the dishwasher? That has NOTHING to do with his Chemo, I would have gotten mad if he wasn't sick. PLUS, just because he has cancer does not mean that we can't have a normal, married life. We rarely fight, we rarely nit-pick each other, and we have an excellent relationship. We're allowed to be irritated by the other's behaviour every now and then. PLUS - I'm working REALLY REALLY hard to make ends meet while he's been sick. It's been a financial drain on us, and seeing that he's been feeling awesome, AWESOME, lately, I didn't think it was a huge deal to get upset with him about the dishes, when, he's home all day, feeling fine, and I'm out working my butt off all day long, and then have to come home to dirty dishes everywhere? Wed, Thurs, Fri and Mon I worked 12 hour days. That's long enough for me.

    /rant (for now)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:ef0c55b3-87f9-419b-b79d-7a8983bee781">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I'm not sure what your point is here. I don't really want to get into some pissing contest about whether the Holocaust or slavery was worse, because that seems like kind of a strange discussion to have. But I've read a lot about slavery, and when I think about the things that happened over a few hundred years of systematic persecution, it makes my blood boil. And it makes me pretty unsympathetic about any "cause" that would seek to protect it. Also, it makes me terribly sad that something like Andersonville happened on American soil. Pretty much the worst war crime of the Civil War.
    Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]


    and you're totally right.. I don't want to get into a which one was worse argument, because they were both awful and there's no reason to argue.

    you just sort of started the compairson with andersonville, I said it was a skewed comparison
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:714ac3a4-6592-469d-a67b-aa4273e8f272">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]And I have to say, Sucrets, you've been a raging biitch since about 2 weeks before you had your baby. Not sure what crawled up your ass and died, but it would be nice if it were removed.
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    This exactly, except you apparently found the balls I lost, because I wasn't going to outright say it. But you're not the onyl one who's noticed it.
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  • :::shrug::: Roxy's finally a part of an in-crowd, of course she's going to defend it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:ad9c1208-24d4-45d7-9d87-222fcdc1e20e">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Honestly, she never really posted why he was almost an hour late.  She never indicated what disucssions they had about it or how both of them handled the issue at the time.  I don't think we know enough about what happened to really judge whether or not she can or should hold a grudge.
    Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

    That is true. Anything any of us say is speculation and opinions, which I suppose we are all entitled to, especially in FFF.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2010
    I just want to say that I feel for people who have to deal with things like death of a loved one, dealing with terminal illness, etc.  I think it's completely understandable that those things would cause pain, stress, anger, sadness, and a whole host of emotions ranging a pretty comprehensive spectrum.  But there are resources and help available for people dealing with those things (ETA: also not saying that these things work for everyone or make the problems go away completely either).  Not saying that anyone who has mentioned it is NOT taking advantage of that help, but I know sometimes things like that get forgotten.

    So what I'm trying to say in a roundabout way, is I agree with Moose that the term "free pass" makes me feel icky.  "Understandable" works a little better for me, but perhaps that is when someone should look at taking advantage of resources available.

    And, as a disclaimer--this is BASED ON the stuff with P2 and what Mandy wrote about in this post.  I have no idea what they're doing/did to cope and of course everyone has bad days where they're going to be foul no matter what.  I'm really directing this more towards anyone who said anything about a "free pass" for anyone than at P2 and Mandy, even though that's what it seems.

    And?  Now the soapbox is free for the next person. 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:41c626ed-59b7-4ab3-9fca-994aa3ee1ce1">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]:::shrug::: Roxy's finally a part of an in-crowd, of course she's going to defend it.
    Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

    Oh yes, I've fulfilled my life goal.
    *eyeroll*

    And really, this coming from you who has been flamed for the same thing?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:41c626ed-59b7-4ab3-9fca-994aa3ee1ce1">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]:::shrug::: Roxy's finally a part of an in-crowd, of course she's going to defend it.
    Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

    Seriously? Seriously?
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:720de50e-e7dd-4f9a-b25a-2cfc46dbd993">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]Union troops had prison camps, too.
    Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

    But not like that. I certainly know that things sucked all over, and there were lots of deaths and disease and crap everywhere. I've done my reading. I also know that for every person who died on the battlefield in the Civil War, two people died of disease. But all I'm saying is, at least the Confederate POWs in Union camps GOT food, even if it was full of worms.

    And when I see pictures like this one (linked in case people don't want to look) it makes me think of other death camps:
    <a href="http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/USACWandersonv.jpg" rel="nofollow">http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/USACWandersonv.jpg</a>
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    Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:4e618886-f73a-48bd-b8a8-6dea15cdce58">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's kind of funny to me that two of the prevailing conversations going on now are about the US Civil War and the perceived E civil war. 
    Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

    Haha, true!

    East, when I read your comments about how no one owes anyone an explanation for leaving E, I know you're right.  It's just hard to, I don't know, realize that and act accordingly.  Yeah maybe I am butthurt that instead of posting here, people are posting over there just to make some statement and avoid certain people and it's taking away other people who are just board hopping and leaving E a wasteland.  So I stomp my feet and say, why take some big stance and move and take everyone with you? Why can't you just put the people you don't like on ignore?   But you're right, they don't have to justify why.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:114cebdb-b422-444d-a62b-e2b88a2cd493">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : This exactly, except you apparently found the balls I lost, because I wasn't going to outright say it. But you're not the onyl one who's noticed it.
    Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]
    What happened to your balls? You used to be super biitch (in an outspoken, not mean way). I used to pussyfoot around things. But I'm sick of this shiit and I don't really care  if I piss off certain regs anymore because I finally realized it doesn't matter. Things ebb and flow and in a few weeks there will be something/someone new to go into the flames.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited June 2010
    Thanks, LVB and Alix.  It's because I started actually calling people out on stuff instead of just ignoring things and joking around.  I'm allowed to do that and it has NOTHING to do with my baby, nor have I ever blamed it on that. 

    And you're allowed to not like me b/c I disagreed with you on something once. *eta - 2 weeks before I had Em (I'm guessing that's when it was based on what you said; I honestly don't care enough to remember).
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • i flame meaghan for agreeing with the herd that i'm a biitch, when she's stated she likes me and that liking my posts was one of the reasons she started posting on this board to begin with. groupthink confirmed.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:e5f6331a-a965-4136-b347-0ac77adf438b">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Oh yes, I've fulfilled my life goal. *eyeroll* And really, this coming from you who has been flamed for the same thing?
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    You've just said yourself in past threads about cliques and stuff that you wish you were involved.  I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting that, who doesn't want to be liked?  I really should have expanded that to everyone who's defending SB, of course they're going to defend themselves.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:41c626ed-59b7-4ab3-9fca-994aa3ee1ce1">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]:::shrug::: Roxy's finally a part of an in-crowd, of course she's going to defend it.
    Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

    YES!  Oh TR, I was just thinking to myself this morning how much I am really enjoying you on the boards lately.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:e5f6331a-a965-4136-b347-0ac77adf438b">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Oh yes, I've fulfilled my life goal. *eyeroll* And really, this coming from you who has been flamed for the same thing?
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    Maybe it takes one to know one, Roxy. ;)



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • edited June 2010
    Both LVB and TR get mad props from me for their last posts.

    Mag, umm, wow.  I really honestly never had an issue with you.  I may have flamed you once or twice for being a drama queen or debbie downer, I don't honestly remember.  But I guess now that I'm caught up on this history we apparently have, I understand better why you have been randomly attacking comments I've made that have had no relation to you.  So thanks for clearing that up.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:f4fd99e6-e30f-4227-8c4a-54a6297c3ca4">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : YES!  Oh TR, I was just thinking to myself this morning how much I am really enjoying you on the boards lately.
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    Jumps on Dani's bandwagon.
    image
  • It has nothing to do with disagreeing with me on something. I have disagreements with people all the time. Doesnt' make me like them any less. However being a biitch does. There's a difference in calling people out and just being  a biitch. And I'm not exactly saying it has to do with your baby, I was using that as a timeline.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7860f92-8453-49fc-9aba-580bebadb515Post:a0b2dd37-f52b-4ed0-a740-3f899e62064d">Re: FFF</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : You've just said yourself in past threads about cliques and stuff that you wish you were involved.  I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting that, who doesn't want to be liked?  I really should have expanded that to everyone who's defending SB, of course they're going to defend themselves.
    Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

    I have NEVER said anything like that seriously.
    I could care less over who likes me and who doesn't, I don't need to win the approval of anyone.
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