Unpopular Opinion(s)

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:74116b1a-2835-4c6f-83cd-e1d45be551fd">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion(s) : My BMs all already got their dresses and no one complained- but again, I think it's just a regional difference. In my circle, when you accept being a BM, you accept you are going to a bridal store and buying a dress. Whatever. It's an "Unpopular Opinion" and that's why it's here. 
Posted by SapphireBride12[/QUOTE]

<div>I mean, yeah, that is a very common thought. I'm from GA and all my BMs kind of assumed the same thing. They all asked me if I was going with DB or AA . So it's not that going to a bridal store is an unpopular opinion per se, I think what would be considered such is demanding your BMs had to get a dress they could not afford, regardless of where it comes from. </div>

emilyinchile

I see Birdie's ticker!

I will also say that I do NOT have any kind of anxiety disorder, although I think I do get anxious more than the average person, but I've had a couple panic attacks around the time of some family deaths. For me, it was a situation of sitting there knowing for a fact that I was medically fine, that it was just a physical response to emotional stress and yet still hyperventilating, feeling like I was about to have a heart attack and being unable to calm those physical symptoms through logic. If I felt like that on a regular basis, and there was a pill to help me avoid that feeling, I would of course take it and feel like it was a pretty legitimate medicine.

Birdie1483

mica is the chosen one!!

Ghoti

I think more often than not, anxiety comes with depression, right? Hence the reason its treated with medication and not paper bags?

cardmonsta

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:a25ea08c-20e5-4176-815b-22548f8229e2">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion(s) : I know it's controversial, but I'm gonna gree with this. And add to it, most depression meds. I think docs/therapists/whathaveyou are WAY too liberal with the 'script pad. Feeling blue? Take a pill. Whatever. (granted, in some cases, it's warranted, but holy shiz, it seems like if someone sneezes they get a pill for a 'disorder') Edit - I'm certainly not referring to people with severe needs for meds. I get that it's needed sometimes. But not for random bouts of stress.
Posted by neelynicole[/QUOTE]

<div>I actually work in psych, and it does not happen this way at all.  It's often very difficult to get anxiety medication.</div><div>
</div><div>I think physicians/NPs are much more liberal with ordering unnecessary tests than providing prescriptions.  But I understand the basis for ordering labs and diagnostics as well.</div><div>
</div><div>I have patients with severe anxiety who need to have immediate treatments because their bodies just shut off.  </div>

mica178

Well, if the fact that I can't see the ticker is foreshadowing, it's been nice knowing you ladies!  Hopefully I'll see you on the other side.  :P

I'm crossing my fingers that it's just my crappy work computer.  I'm in my clinic office, and the computer uses really old IE.  I can see all the other sig pics, though, so I don't know why one ticker is missing.

FutureMrsTR

I can still see Birdie's ticker.

Ghoti

Birdy, I heart your Jesus pic

And I can see your ticker

NuggetBrain

I was laid off, getting married, and lost my grandpa all within a year and a half.  If my doctor hadn't given me some meds to deal with the situational anxiety I probably would have ended up rocking in a corner.

Bubbalub

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:6ad97ad1-e49f-4626-aa2b-5677e3a849bd">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion(s) : I think anyone who accepts the role of a BM without realizing they will probably have to spend $150 on a dress must have been dropped on their head as a baby. 
Posted by SapphireBride12[/QUOTE]

Wow. This post plus your previous post make you sound ridiculous and entitled. Not everyone lives with that kind of extra money around, you know. And not every bride expects their BMs to shell out hundreds of dollars for their wedding.

You sound lovely. And you are giving the other, saner, ladies from NY a bad name.

Bubbalub

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:c8505bfd-c033-42db-8a18-92b50a3309e8">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]My UO is that I do not believe in anxiety medication. I do not believe that anxiety is a disorder- it is just a part of life, everyone gets anxious from time to time.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]


Haven't read past this. You obviously know NOTHING about how the human brain works and the difference between regular stress/anxiety and anxiety disorders.

mica178

I don't have anxiety or depression either, but I see it every day.  And if a patient want to try counseling or behavior modification rather than pills, I support that choice rather than try to push psychopharmaceuticals on them.  But sometimes counseling is not enough.  Antidepressants have turned around the lives of countless people I've seen and followed for years.

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:2ff8f3d6-a540-4718-9875-1dfb3e1c5615">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion(s) : I'm not saying I don't think depression or anxiety is real.  <strong>But unless you suffer from it, or see someone first hand suffering from it, you can never really understand how serious or difficult it is</strong>.  A lot of people in my family are on meds for anxiety and/or depression, and I'm one of few that aren't.  i don't think any less of them for being on it, but there are also times when I think "it really can't be that bad," simply because I haven't experienced it.  So if you haven't seen it or lived through it yourself, I can see how people form that opinion.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

This is why I don't think people should pass judgements or make opinions on something they don't know about. Saying something "can't really be that bad" seems condescending to me.

neelynicole

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:394d978a-74f8-4f97-8f67-4739a26050f3">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion(s) : But that's my point.  How do you KNOW that they didn't need medication?  You can't know, unless you are a) that person or b) his or her doctor.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Because they have been close friends and family members that have talked with me about the whole process. Every little detal about what they felt and what changed or didn't change and how some of them wish they never would have started the meds in the first place or if they thought it was the best thing they could have done.

Again, I misspoke (or was too vague) in my first post. I don't think that all meds are bad, nor do I think that depression or anxiety is a made up thing. I know there are plenty of people that suffer from actual chemical imbalanes that benefit from the meds. I just don't think that anyone that's having a rough time is also chemically imbalanced. And, to me, it seems that the handing out of meds to anyone having a rough few days is running a bit rampant nowadays.

Hatsumomo7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:bb66745e-a394-4d4f-ba10-bb1e4a6a1fbf">Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think belly button and tongue piercings are trashy on anyone over 30.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

^This

FutureMrsTR

Aaaaand apparently I'm way late to the ticker issue.

Hatsumomo7

I think you should have a financial assessment and an IQ test before you should be allowed to procreate.

Bubbalub

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:485ea3db-b23a-40b7-9330-1f7f6dc1aa9a">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry ladies, I knew it was controversial.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

It's not just controversial; it's ignorant and trivializes what MANY people struggle with in day-to-day life. If I was not on my meds now I would be hospitalized. Period. I absolutely know the difference between normal stress and brain chemical imbalances. You are talking out of your ass, not making a controversial statement.

annakb8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:8802639f-ef0c-4b40-93bd-aa7574daa4e2">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should have a financial assessment and an IQ test before you should be allowed to procreate.
Posted by Hatsumomo7[/QUOTE]

Seriously? Now this is eugenics. IQ tests were developed in part by eugenicists.

cardmonsta

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:e3581561-bb9f-4639-9452-7d291f55dcde">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion(s) : Because they have been close friends and family members that have talked with me about the whole process. Every little detal about what they felt and what changed or didn't change and how some of them wish they never would have started the meds in the first place or if they thought it was the best thing they could have done. Again, I misspoke (or was too vague) in my first post. I don't think that all meds are bad, nor do I think that depression or anxiety is a made up thing. I know there are plenty of people that suffer from actual chemical imbalanes that benefit from the meds. I just don't think that anyone that's having a rough time is also chemically imbalanced. And, to me, it seems that the handing out of meds to anyone having a rough few days is running a bit rampant nowadays.
Posted by neelynicole[/QUOTE]

<div>Are you speaking about solely anxiety medication? Or depression medication as well?  Because depression medications are not an instant-fix.  They can take weeks to months to start working for a person.</div>

RobotLegs

I went to a therapist when I was depressed, because I was really against taking drugs for it.  I thought I could just work it out.

But guess what?  it's a chemical imbalance.  Just as you can't treat cancer by talking about it with someone, you can't always treat depression that way either.

Depression is a physical disease. 

AND, this is why people are ashamed to admit it and talk about it.

Meg1036

I really fail to see the anxiety meds argument.  It could apply in so many other cases, like "Allergies aren't that bad and lots of people have them and deal.  I don't think they should be perscribed."  or "Everyone deals with some pain, but I get over mine with a tylenol, I don't think vicodin is every needed."  It is literally the same kind of statement, and you would never trivialize a physical disorder like that, so why trivialize a mental/emotional one?

ETA: I understand the physical/chemical processes underlying depression and anxiety.  I don't mean to say that depression/anxiety aren't caused  by physical issues by calling them mental/emotional problems, but rather am trying to highlight the fact that there really shouldn't be a difference in how we perceive medical problems, no matter the type.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:ced33b38-294b-4f99-a644-fba1d29e4b1e">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion(s) : Macys, JC Pennys, Dillards, Bloomingdales, etc all have dresses that are just as nice, if not more formal, than some I have seen at bridal stores and can be a fraction of the cost, especially with coupons and sales. Several of them are just as much and can be more, so it's not a done deal, but it gives the girls more options. You can also give them fabrics you prefer and can remind them the wedding is formal so they can consider those things when they are selecting.  And not all weddings are formal. Mine is semi-formal, and I'm letting my BMs pick any knee length dress in any fabric (though there's only like 4 choices) from AA in Petunia (all were ok with the prices). 
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

Ditto.  My BM dresses are coming from JC Penny and are only $50 (and off the rack so they won't need alterations).  I think they look nicer than a lot of the ones I saw in the bridal shops did.

Also, I think you should choose your BM's because of who they are to you, not how much they can afford to spend.  If your vision of your wedding trumps your relationships with them, then I think you are a shiity friend.  None of my 3 BM's are in a position to waste $150+ on my wedding and I'd rather find a cheaper dress and have them stand with me than to have people I'm not that close with because they can spend more on a dress.

SapphireBride12

Anxiety Medications are VERY addictive. Anti-Depressants are just as effective but they don't give you a high. 

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:fe4833d8-ef51-4473-a26c-87663711de22">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]I went to a therapist when I was depressed, because I was really against taking drugs for it.  I thought I could just work it out. But guess what?  it's a chemical imbalance.  Just as you can't treat cancer by talking about it with someone, you can't always treat depression that way either. Depression is a physical disease. <strong> AND, this is why people are ashamed to admit it and talk about it.</strong>
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

I can't tell you how many people I KNOW tell me that it's "just dramatics" and that if I just put some effort into "fixing it", I could do it without medication.

If there was anything in my physical power that I could do to get rid of anxiety disorder, trust me, I would be doing it.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:8bddfc9b-27b2-45b1-9e03-0d1ca977a277">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]Anxiety Medications are VERY addictive. Anti-Depressants are just as effective but they don't give you a high. 
Posted by SapphireBride12[/QUOTE]

Do you have a point?  Honestly, because I can't find one here.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:8bddfc9b-27b2-45b1-9e03-0d1ca977a277">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]Anxiety Medications are VERY addictive. Anti-Depressants are just as effective but they don't give you a high. 
Posted by SapphireBride12[/QUOTE]

OMG, STFU.  THat is a blanket statement that is patently untrue.  THere are types of anxiety and depression medications that CAN be addictive (i.e. Xanex), especially if they are abused or taken differently than prescribed.  There are many, many other pills that are not addictive and don't get you high.

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:8bddfc9b-27b2-45b1-9e03-0d1ca977a277">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]Anxiety Medications are VERY addictive. Anti-Depressants are just as effective but they don't give you a high. 
Posted by SapphireBride12[/QUOTE]
MUD.<div>
</div><div>Can there be MUD for one poster in different threads? Or do you just call her a troll? Or didn't someone say she's LowerEastSide or something like that?</div>

annakb8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:8bddfc9b-27b2-45b1-9e03-0d1ca977a277">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]Anxiety Medications are VERY addictive. Anti-Depressants are just as effective but they don't give you a high. 
Posted by SapphireBride12[/QUOTE]

I don't get a high from my anxiety medication. I don't think you know what you're talking about.

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f2d12dfc-be54-4ea3-9848-44b2ecfcc5b8Post:8bddfc9b-27b2-45b1-9e03-0d1ca977a277">Re: Unpopular Opinion(s)</a>:
[QUOTE]Anxiety Medications are VERY addictive. Anti-Depressants are just as effective but they don't give you a high. 
Posted by SapphireBride12[/QUOTE]

<div>Do you speak from experience?</div>