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Etiquette

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

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Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • That's a cool profession! I do the same but I'm doing more web programming these days
    kitsunegari89
  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I just came back from my cousin's wedding, and considering our family is usually pretty good at etiquette, it just made it seem so much worse than what it probably was.

    -Ceremony was short and sweet on the first floor, reception on the second floor. Hors d'oeuvres consisted of a table set up with olives and cheese right outside the door of the reception room at the base of the staircase, making people have to line up on the stairs.

    -Hosted bar was one white wine, one red wine, 3 kinds of beers, lemonade and iced tea. Our family are liquor drinkers. Once we found this out, one of the uncles ran to get some bottles which we hid under the table. Unfortunately we didn't find out there was no soda until after. Whiskey neat it was!

    -THERE WERE NO TABLE ASSIGNMENTS. No one knew where to sit, so we just sat ourselves which ultimately led to there being 1-2 place settings not being used per table. This caused some people to just be standing around awkwardly without having a place to sit with their family.

    -There were 2 tables that said, "reserved" but no one knew who was supposed to sit there.

    -The great aunts were asked not once, but TWICE to move from where they were sitting because they weren't at the "right table". They were pissed the entire evening and wanted to leave early (I've never seen this happen before).

    -People started going up to the buffet for food, without any announcement, as far as people could tell. Aunt tries to go up and get some food (we're starving) and is asked to sit back down and "wait her turn". Come to find out one of the bartenders was going table by table to invite people to the buffet. And we're supposed to know this, how?

    -Get to the buffet, to find out everything is covered in cream sauce. I got to eat rice and salad, yay.

    -I see FOB go up to the dessert table and grab some mini desserts, I'm starving so I follow him. Then I hear the announcement that we should wait till we're invited. Oh well.

    -Throughout the night I get told this is a dress rehearsal for my wedding. Obviously. 


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  • phira said:
    ashleyep said:
    phira said:
    @JCBride2014 Yeah, I do think that certain times of the year are not great for guest travel/accommodations. While sometimes, there's only one date that works, and it's that awful date for a lot of guests, I do feel like people should make at least some effort to consider if they're picking an inconvenient date. A lot of people treat July 4th weekend, Memorial Day, and Labor Day as holidays that are great for weddings (since you get some time off, but they're not like Thanksgiving or Christmas where everyone already has plans), but depending on where your wedding is, those weekends can be terrible.

    Case in point, my worst wedding as a guest (which I mentioned paaaages ago) was held on September 2nd. The fact that it was Labor Day weekend was totally not a problem. The problem?

    I live in Boston. September 1st is when everyone moves. Everyone. It's called Allston Christmas. And guess who was moving into an Allston-Brighton apartment on September 1st that year? We were.

    Needless to say, people were not terribly happy about the date.
    I'm getting married in Plymouth, and was considering a Friday wedding before I decided on a location. Once I decided I liked the Plymouth venue, I realized there was NO WAY I could ask my guests to sit in Friday afternoon Cape traffic to get to my wedding. 

    RT 3 becomes a nightmare as everyone heads south on the weekends for Cape Cod.
    You just cited my #1 reason that I rarely go to the Cape anymore. God it's so bad. When I do go, I always stay until 8-9pm on Sunday night and head back to Boston then, when the roads are empty.
    Exactly the same reason why my parents ended up buying a place in Newport instead of the Cape for summer vacations! (And now the reason why I'm having my wedding in Newport and not on some beach on the Cape - although just as beautiful, just doesn't hold the sentimental value for me anymore...)
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    ashleyep
  • phira said:
    @abbyj700 It's pretty terrible. Combination of factors, honestly.

    - We have a pretty bad landlord situation in Boston. There's no rent control, and some of the worst landlords can very easily continue to operate the way they want to because agencies/departments that are supposed to stop them are entirely overwhelmed. There's not enough power to punish landlords who break the law, and they're assholes to a lot of tenants. We consider ourselves lucky to have the landlord we do have, and honestly, he's pretty mediocre in terms of what's actually expected of him by the letter of the law.

    - Boston's reputation for being mind-bogglingly obnoxious to drive in is well deserved. The streets are a mess for traffic AND for parking.

    - I think we might have the highest concentration of colleges/universities in the country in Greater Boston. The student population is astounding, and a lot of students (undergraduate and graduate) live in apartments, not on-campus housing.

    So basically you end up having TONS of people who are moving on September 1st (because of the student populations), and lots of people aren't able to just stay the night at their old place (landlords can make them leave by midnight on September 1st), there's a delay in cleaning apartments (if you're lucky) and getting keys, so you have several hours when you can't get to your new place, everyone's parked illegally, and everyone's moving themselves (no pros) so the whole process is messier and more time-consuming.

    It's really a nightmare. Fortunately, we're at our place for at least one more year (just got the lease renewal yesterday), but I've already made it clear to my partner that we're opting for an August 1st lease next time. I'd rather pay rent for two apartments for a month than move on September 1st ever ever ever again. I got into a car accident when we moved last time (totally minor accident, major headache), and I'm not interested in risking that again.
    Roughly 350 colleges/universities, and about 75,000+ students. This is one reason why BU is building new dorm skyscrapers, to get the students back on campus where the dorms fees are now less than the Allston/Brighton/Brookline rent. (They now have plans to build over the Pike, right at the area where the BU Bridge crosses from Cambridge into Boston/wearing Tom Brady's Ugg poster used to hang on the side of a building on the Pike...lol!)
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    Bubblegum5586
  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    casey8784 said:
    phira said:
    ashleyep said:
    phira said:
    @JCBride2014 Yeah, I do think that certain times of the year are not great for guest travel/accommodations. While sometimes, there's only one date that works, and it's that awful date for a lot of guests, I do feel like people should make at least some effort to consider if they're picking an inconvenient date. A lot of people treat July 4th weekend, Memorial Day, and Labor Day as holidays that are great for weddings (since you get some time off, but they're not like Thanksgiving or Christmas where everyone already has plans), but depending on where your wedding is, those weekends can be terrible.

    Case in point, my worst wedding as a guest (which I mentioned paaaages ago) was held on September 2nd. The fact that it was Labor Day weekend was totally not a problem. The problem?

    I live in Boston. September 1st is when everyone moves. Everyone. It's called Allston Christmas. And guess who was moving into an Allston-Brighton apartment on September 1st that year? We were.

    Needless to say, people were not terribly happy about the date.
    I'm getting married in Plymouth, and was considering a Friday wedding before I decided on a location. Once I decided I liked the Plymouth venue, I realized there was NO WAY I could ask my guests to sit in Friday afternoon Cape traffic to get to my wedding. 

    RT 3 becomes a nightmare as everyone heads south on the weekends for Cape Cod.
    You just cited my #1 reason that I rarely go to the Cape anymore. God it's so bad. When I do go, I always stay until 8-9pm on Sunday night and head back to Boston then, when the roads are empty.
    Exactly the same reason why my parents ended up buying a place in Newport instead of the Cape for summer vacations! (And now the reason why I'm having my wedding in Newport and not on some beach on the Cape - although just as beautiful, just doesn't hold the sentimental value for me anymore...)
    This past summer, my BF, his father and I traveled down to the Cape for a birthday party for his cousin's oldest son. We drove down the day before the party, on one of the oldest days. His car didn't have very good air conditioning and is a two door coupe. I was stuffed in the backseat for a 3 hour ride sweating my ass off. Needless to say, that was yet another time I told him his next car has to have 4 doors.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





    casey8784ashleyep
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    @phira is your rent going up by a lot this coming year? FI and I have already started looking for houses, so we weren't planning on staying anyway (lease ends September 1). But the rent is increasing 150 dollars, and it increased 100 dollars from last year, and 300 from the year before that! No thank you, too bad houses are ridiculously expensive too, but buying a house in one of the suburbs will be just a little more expensive than our rent, so good riddance Brighton!
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  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @laurynm84 Just got the lease form, looks like ours is only increasing by $50 (from $1600 to $1650). We essentially have a 1BR + den. Where in the 'burbs are you looking? I'm trying to convince my partner that we could happily live somewhere that is not Boston (or Newton, the only suburb he will consider right now).
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would love to live in Newton, sadly it's much too expensive to buy a single family house there. We are looking at Metro West or maybe slightly south (Dedham).
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  • HappyAnjelHappyAnjel member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited March 2014
    I wasn't actually invited to the wedding, the bride sent a save the date and an invitation to my parents house, addressed to my parents. I didn't know I was invited to the wedding until I had her mom calling me yelling at me for never sending back my response card, told her that I didn't get an invitation, she said my name was on with my parents ( I dug it out and It was only addressed to my parents) Then told my fiance isn't invited.

    Then I get the invite for a 'Bridal shower' (yes, that's exactly how it was worded!) after I rsvp'd yes to the wedding. I get there, gift in hand, and its a BBQ and they are charging $30 a person to get in, and the bride was the one collecting the money. I left.

    a couple days later I get a facebook message saying their website was up and check it out. I click the link, and it takes me to a page that says their names and wedding date as the background, and the only other thing is a link to their honeymoon fund. no info about the ceremony, reception, bridal party, how they met nothing.

    I go to the wedding, mostly out of morbid curiosity at this point. Surprise, not enough chairs so I had to stand, shifting foot to foot while not being able to hear, and trying to tiptoe above the other heads. Everything was cash bar, even non alcoholic drinks.. The food was great, but they didn't have enough desserts for everyone,  so no one at our table got a cupcake, and the other desserts were all gone by the time our table was called. Its been a little over a year, still no thank you card.  Edited to add- But it was mentioned to my mom that other people gave her more money!

    Another wedding, the bride was over an hour late to her outdoor wedding in the middle of summer. I was ridiculously sunburned by the end and her 'reception' was a pay for yourself Chinese buffet a 45 minute drive from the ceremony site
    hellohkb
  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited March 2014
    phira said:
    @abbyj700 It's pretty terrible. Combination of factors, honestly.

    - We have a pretty bad landlord situation in Boston. There's no rent control, and some of the worst landlords can very easily continue to operate the way they want to because agencies/departments that are supposed to stop them are entirely overwhelmed. There's not enough power to punish landlords who break the law, and they're assholes to a lot of tenants. We consider ourselves lucky to have the landlord we do have, and honestly, he's pretty mediocre in terms of what's actually expected of him by the letter of the law.

    - Boston's reputation for being mind-bogglingly obnoxious to drive in is well deserved. The streets are a mess for traffic AND for parking.

    - I think we might have the highest concentration of colleges/universities in the country in Greater Boston. The student population is astounding, and a lot of students (undergraduate and graduate) live in apartments, not on-campus housing.

    So basically you end up having TONS of people who are moving on September 1st (because of the student populations), and lots of people aren't able to just stay the night at their old place (landlords can make them leave by midnight on September 1st), there's a delay in cleaning apartments (if you're lucky) and getting keys, so you have several hours when you can't get to your new place, everyone's parked illegally, and everyone's moving themselves (no pros) so the whole process is messier and more time-consuming.

    It's really a nightmare. Fortunately, we're at our place for at least one more year (just got the lease renewal yesterday), but I've already made it clear to my partner that we're opting for an August 1st lease next time. I'd rather pay rent for two apartments for a month than move on September 1st ever ever ever again. I got into a car accident when we moved last time (totally minor accident, major headache), and I'm not interested in risking that again.
    Allston Christmas is funny to me. "Well because of all the students, we have to start leases on September 1." I went to school in Amherst and the majority of our leases started June 1. You have a week or two after the end of the school year to move out, and then kids can take their time moving in if they're going home to their parents over the summer. Everyone's not scrambling to move a day before classes start.

    Back to my last comment though - I haven't been to the cape in years. My grandparents have a cottage in Buzzard's Bay, right before the bride, but we take 495 to get there, so it's not as bad. And not having to go over the bride(s) make things so much easier.

    laurynm84 - I don't live in Boston (just outside at the end of the orange line) but our rent went up a full 5% (about $100) in September. When I lived in Medford, my landlord didn't increase our rent once in the 3 years we lived there - I think he was just happy to have a house of girls who took care of the place and was happy to not have to find a new renter.
    Anniversary
  • Finally I have time to add my worst wedding story!

    The B&G planned a Stag and Doe. These are very common in my area, but this is the first one that I've been to that I actually felt uncomfortable because it was such a blatant cash grab. Usually I just buy a ticket and have some cheap drinks,but at this stag and doe every time I turned around some one was trying to get me to spend more money to support the bride and groom.
    My parents received an invitation to Mr and Mrs Lastname and Family. My sister was 21 and still lived at home so that wasn't a big deal, but I had been living on my own for 6 years at that time, and with my now-FI for 2 years. I never received an invitation. There was no indication how many people were invited on my parents invitation, so they RSVP'd for our family plus my FI.

    The wedding was in late July in SW Ontario. With the humidity it can feel up to 40C in the afternoon. There was no shade or water at the wedding, and the ceremony was at 2PM, so full afternoon heat. I'm surprised the older guests didn't have heat stroke. After the ceremony every one was asked to bring their ceremony chair to a table in the tent for the dinner. There was a 3 hour "unheated" gap between the ceremony and dinner. Drinks were available, but the bar was "by donation" so you were expected to put a couple dollars in a basket every time you got a drink. There was no food. Since everything was at the same site, and we were in the middle of nowhere, there was nothing to do for 3 hours. There was no assigned seating for dinner, and they had exactly enough chairs for every butt, so it was really hard to find seats together for dinner. The buffet was poorly organized, so by the time FI and I got to it it was picked over and lukewarm. There was homemade wine on the tables. Funny thing, the bride spelled their last name wrong on the original labels, so they placed stickers you could see through over the labels with the right name.

    FI and I left after the spotlight dances, so I missed this, but the bride changed into a scandalously short reception dress, got really drunk, fell over and flashed every one.

    The registry was all big ticket items. There were no items less than $300 on the registry. Since I didn't get an invitation I didn't give them a gift, just signed my name on my parents card. 

    This part if FI and I being Judgy McJudgypants . . . 
    Neither the bride nor the groom smiled or looked happy at all during the ceremony. They weren't happy until they were drunk
    They didn't have any desire to have pictures taken during the gap. They didn't hire a photographer, so my sister was doing the pictures and it was like pulling teeth to get them to pose together for pictures
    When the JOP said "you may now kiss the bride", the kiss was a peck on the lips . . . like a little kid giving you a kiss

    This was the first time my FI had met them. When we were driving home he asked me if the B&G actually like each other, because they didn't seem to. I thought it was a little odd, but if they really don't like PDA, it was understandable. Turns out these were all red flags - they separated 3 months after the wedding.


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    PrettyGirlLostCrazyCatLady3bnwright0721
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @cmfarr That is literally a hot mess of a wedding.

    And yeah, I definitely would find it a HUGE red flag if the couple didn't even look happy to be marrying each other.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Maybe they realized they had all these unresolved issues during pre martial counseling or didn't bother with that but "the show must go on" type of scenario. Bride got her moment as a princess and the groom probably didn't want the money to go to waste so both were probably thinking fuck it lets just do this then deal with things after the wedding
    perdonami
  • @phira @Amyzen83 I'm getting married in the same area and when I was looking for an officiant I found out that you only have to do pre-marital counselling if you are getting married by a religious official. They had a JOP, so no counselling needed. I think they rushed getting married because groom's dad was sick, and that bride wanted the stability groom offered (she had a son from a previous relationship and groom was willing to raise him as his own). She was still very immature and left for a new guy when groom went through a rough time after his father died. Forgot to add that they rented port-a-potties for the bathroom. These sat in direct sunlight for who knows how long. So gross

    Anniversary
  • cmfarr said:

    @phira @Amyzen83 I'm getting married in the same area and when I was looking for an officiant I found out that you only have to do pre-marital counselling if you are getting married by a religious official. They had a JOP, so no counselling needed. I think they rushed getting married because groom's dad was sick, and that bride wanted the stability groom offered (she had a son from a previous relationship and groom was willing to raise him as his own). She was still very immature and left for a new guy when groom went through a rough time after his father died.

    Forgot to add that they rented port-a-potties for the bathroom. These sat in direct sunlight for who knows how long. So gross

    Wow what a trainwreck! It seems to me from what you described groom is a stand up guy but bride is the royal bitch in the situation!
  • phira said:
    @JCBride2014 Yeah, I do think that certain times of the year are not great for guest travel/accommodations. While sometimes, there's only one date that works, and it's that awful date for a lot of guests, I do feel like people should make at least some effort to consider if they're picking an inconvenient date. A lot of people treat July 4th weekend, Memorial Day, and Labor Day as holidays that are great for weddings (since you get some time off, but they're not like Thanksgiving or Christmas where everyone already has plans), but depending on where your wedding is, those weekends can be terrible.

    Case in point, my worst wedding as a guest (which I mentioned paaaages ago) was held on September 2nd. The fact that it was Labor Day weekend was totally not a problem. The problem?

    I live in Boston. September 1st is when everyone moves. Everyone. It's called Allston Christmas. And guess who was moving into an Allston-Brighton apartment on September 1st that year? We were.

    Needless to say, people were not terribly happy about the date.

    Stuck in the box
    I moved on September 1st. That's so weird lol but, in my defense, I'm slightly north of the city of Boston

  • I love how the Worst Weddings thread turned into a Massachusetts-centric chit chat lol.  Southcoast girl here!
    Deep south girl here! Didn't realize Louisiana was attached to the rest of America.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
    grumbledoremimiphin
  • jules3964jules3964 member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    I'll play. For your consideration:

    - It was a PPD. (Enough said, but I will continue.)

    - Bride had an out-of-town bachelorette party months before the wedding, and all attendees paid for the bride's meals/drinks/show ticket/etc. that night. No problem… except then the night before the wedding, she had mini-bachelorette party #2 and attendees were again expected to cover the costs. This is probably on down the list of things I was annoyed by, but as someone on a tight budget I definitely side-eyed it.

    - Bride asked FI and I to stay after the wedding and help clean up. We had driven 9 hours from out-of-state to attend, and were driving home the next day. Luckily I had the sense to say no… I'm usually more of a people-pleaser. I'm pretty sure FI would have had a fit.

    - Honeymoon registry. It was my first encounter with such a thing, and I was in disbelief when I went through the check-out process and realized I had to write my own check to the couple, and include a print-out of what it was supposedly to be used for. It just seemed so shady. But I picked out something thoughtful on the list and just went with it. The honeymoon they were planning was 6 months away. TWO WEEKS LATER, in the thank you note, bride says they are now planning a different, "cheaper" honeymoon. Ok, so not only did I waste time trying to pick out a thoughtful excursion for your honeymoon that you will not be doing, but you also imply that you didn't receive enough money from your guests to have the honeymoon you wanted. 

    - Cash bar. 

    - Guests' relationships were judged as to whether they were "serious" enough to deserve a plus 1. Luckily my own relationship was worthy, but I felt bad for a friend who couldn't bring her new boyfriend of two months.

    It could have been worse... at least they did serve a meal. And sent thank you notes.
  • 1 - Not invited to ceremony or dinner. Apparently it was crap, so my BFF, her sister (bride's cousins), our other roommate (groom's half sister) and I consider the fact we had Applebee's to be better than rare chicken, burned tatertot casserole and canned peas. Cash bar for EVERYTHING including water. Best man (bride's brother) texted begging for juice or Gatorade for his 7 months pregnant wife. I actually got my brother and his GF to pick her up and take her to their house so she wasn't alone and horribly ill. Best man left the second pictures were finished. By then, the four of us recently of legal drinking age were slightly drunk, so figured we'd see the train wreck. Gave the friend who was bartending $80 to let us take two bottles of Jager to our seats. Proceeded to get VERY drunk. Then the dollar dance - they wouldn't accept less than $10. And groom's elderly relative started screaming into a hot microphone that bride wasn't supposed to keep stripping for money. BFF's parents came over then, Mom basically chugged about a quarter of a Jager bottle straight from the bottle, Dad drove all of us to their house. I'm sure we were probably awful then, but I was too drunk to remember much and I was the sober one. Eh, no one talks about our drunken antics.

    2 - 87 minute United Church of Christ service. Told six hours before, we were providing pot luck and were sent recipes. We couldn't enter without food. So a bunch of us didn't attend and hit up the local bar.

    I was 22 then, still in my see how drunk I can get stage. Answer was very.

    3 - Wedding was lovely, dinner was better than most rubber chicken, limited open bar. DF's cousin had previously told us no metal/rock music - ok, no big deal. Bride wanted appropriate music, I get that. But, then The Thong Song played with bride quite happy with music. DF and I roll eyes. That was followed by Rehab, which is a song that feels icky these days. But, I'm fussy, so fine. However, the next song, which bride squealed with joy about, was the ever so tasteful ditty that 93 year old great aunts just adore. The classic and classy song with "Superman that ho" line. I instantly clapped my hands over 43 month old daughter's ears. FMIL has her "Oh Dear Jesus" look on her face. She's so laid back, I rarely ever see that look, so I start snickering. FFIL leans over with "I think that one Rammstein video is I'm better taste." At which point, FMIL, FSIL and I start rolling with laughter. We are trying to be quiet, and really no one really noticed because it's about 11:30 and the bar has been well visited. MOB runs over and starts yelling about how weddings and celebrations are solemn, tasteful affairs, laughing is not allowed. FFIL, who keeps his mouth shut less than me, had to ask, in front of all the attention she gathered, how supermanning a ho was solemn or tasteful.

    Oh well. At least bride 3 really was reasonable and nice. Plus, handwritten, lovely thank you cards for her shower gift, the wedding gift and then for attending. Yup, 3 separate cards. Plus DD got her own thank you card for being (the cutest ever) flower girl*.

    Bride!1 didn't send a note, because that's eat up her wedding money.

    Bride 2 sent this 7 page rant on how I ruined everything. Her guests couldn't eat, no one saw her mad dance skillz and we missed the most important announcement. But I heard it later on the video she sent as a Christmas pout so I could see how sad all 7 guests were. She was pregnant, and since new hubby was so extra big (exact measurements were stated) she was having twins and labor would be so easy because he stretches her out. Which was made so much more hilarious as she'd those babies by the time I got the video, and everything was how horrible birth was, one got stuck, she had torn, etc...

    Eesh. #2 just really chaps me.
    Amyzen83hellohkb
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I haven't been to many weddings and most of them have been okay.  But the last one I went to, my FI and I got put at a table next to my ex-boyfriend.  I didn't mind so much and would have been fine with it, but it became more awkward when my ex refused to sit at the same table as me.

    image 

  • @allononeday bride #2 sounds like a piece of work. Potluck, extensive details of personal information about her husband, and a 7 page letter about how horrible you made her day...hmm do you still talk to her? I'd like to know how her relationship turned out...
    Amyzen83
  • AllOnOneDay holy shit re: Bride2.  I hope you are no longer friends with this person.

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