Wedding Etiquette Forum

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

Since we get a fair number of posters who insist that they can do something rude and...
  1. No one will care/be offended
  2. No one will remember
  3. It won't change any of their relationships
how about we share the things we did care about/were offended by, remember, and/or that make us feel differently about the couple offenders?


I'll start - I've been to a few bad ones but I'll start with the furthest back.  About 8 years ago, I attended a family wedding where there was a cash bar, the bride&groom had a (very) upgraded meal compared to the guests (we had a very unappetizing piece of chicken, they had steak and lobster), and they never sent thank you notes for the bridal shower OR wedding gift, which combined totaled about $500 ($300 of which was cash).

In order of degree of offense personally taken, from most to least:
  1. No thank you note
  2. Different meal from what was served to guests
  3. Cash bar
I remember, and if I still had a relationship with these people (family of XH), they would never get another gift from me again.  I decided that as soon as the thank you note window closed.  

And for those who think etiquette is for old ladies - I was 25 when I made that decision.

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Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • I've been lucky - I've never been to a truly bad wedding or one full of etiquette fails. Two of them have contained what I will term "partial cash bars" in that the wine and beer were free but you had to pay for anything with liquor. I just drank wine all night.

    Probably the worst wasn't really from an etiquette standpoint per se but was more about guests' comfort. The ceremony was in a chapel that was packed to bursting with guests and there was no air conditioning. I was squished between DH and some lady I had never met (whose arm was resting on top of mine the whole time because there was so little room) and was just uncomfortable and hot. At the reception, DH and I were seated at a table with 3 other couples - they all knew each other but we didn't know any of them. Cue talking just the two of us all night long since after a pleasantry or two the other couples ignored us the rest of the evening. The food was halfway decent, but everything had mushrooms in it. Mushroom soup, mushrooms in the salad, and mushrooms in the sauce on the steak. Neither DH nor I eat mushrooms (I'll pick around them - he won't eat anything that they've touched) so it was just kind of a bummer. I know B+Gs can't please all of their guests all the time, but at least they could have tried to avoid having the same ingredient in every dish - especially one that's as divisive as mushrooms.
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  • Overall, the worst was last spring. 5 hour gap w/o cocktail hour, "black tie optional" (not actually black tie), rude waiters, bad/cold food, giant tip jar out at the bar, terrible music/band, flags as table #s (with no map or indication where anything was), in a shared building with multiple weddings going on yet no on providing direction on where to go, and the list goes on.

    I'd say the things I dislike most from an etiquette perspective are:

    1) Long and/or unhosted gaps
    2) Cash bars (or anything else I have to pay for at a reception)
    3) PPDs
    4) anything about attire or gifts on an invitation

    Not necessarily in that order.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • I went to a wedding with my FI for a couple we had socialized with multiple times. I had been with my FI for 7 years at the time and the escort card said "FI's name and guest". I was offended especially because they know who I am. Even if they couldn't spell my last name they could have at least put "FI's name and Tammy". 

    This same couple also had bridesmaids who were in completely inappropriate dresses for a Catholic church wedding. That's not against etiquette, but it is definitely something I remember and not for good reasons. They looked like they were dressed to go to the club (all the same dresses so obviously the bride picked them).

    Another one was I never received a thank you note for a bridal shower gift or wedding present at my cousin's wedding. The marriage only lasted 4 months so maybe that's why, but I still hold it against her.

    I can say that though I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar. I didn't even know that people did that at weddings before I came to TK.


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  • I was a bridesmaid in a wedding with a cash bar, even for soda. The food was dry and terrible. My date was seated at a table in the corner while I was stuck with the wedding party and almost the all of the guests spent the entire night out in the parking lot smoking.

    I had to buy matching dress and shoes, was told which salon to get my hair done at, which I then had to pay for. They had a makeup artist at the house who did everyone's makeup. Apparently they never worked out payment in advance because after the fact the bridesmaids were told to chip in to pay her.

    The whole think was such a shitshow. The bride and I never spoke again afterward. I just felt really taken advantage of and disrespected. Oh, and I should mention that I lived several states away and had to travel. Theres more but those are the highlights.
  • I haven't been to a lot of weddings as an adult, but I went to one last year that wasn't very great.

    Bride and groom (future brother and sister-in-law) originally wanted a VERY low key wedding day and non-traditional wedding. Like, city hall wedding, picnic in the park. Super casual. The day they picked was 4 months after they announced their engagement. Both families started to pressure them heavily into having a more traditional wedding, and they both FLIPPED out because of the pressure. Here's what happened.

    1) They stuck with their original date even after making the wedding more traditional. Not only did they pick the day after the BIGGEST moving day in Boston, but they knew that my fiance (then boyfriend) and I were moving the day before, and their parents had agreed to help us move before they knew about the engagement. They didn't move the date even after they changed their plans.

    2) They didn't send formal invitations at all; they just emailed people. While I'm fine with e-vites, it meant that I was actually left off the invitation. They assumed my partner was bringing me, but I wasn't formally invited.

    3) They wouldn't tell anyone what time the wedding started or ended. I was going to be renting a car by the hour and needed to know what time to set the rental. I couldn't get a straight answer. My partner didn't know what time he needed to be there, and he was in the ceremony.

    4) No one knew whether the wedding was indoors or outdoors, or what to wear. The bride and groom would only say that the wedding was non-traditional and that we could wear whatever we wanted. They got upset if people thought the wedding was outside, but kept saying how great it was that the weather would be nice because there were outdoor activities planned.

    5) Although my partner was the brother of the groom and invited to a bunch of stuff, I wasn't invited to any pre-wedding events (bridal shower or joint bachelor/bachelorette party).

    6) Guests were asked to bring a bouquet of flowers for the centerpieces.

    7) The day of the wedding, my other future sister-in-law (married to my partner's other brother) was asked to escort some guests to the ceremony, but wasn't invited to the ceremony herself. She and I had to wait with the majority of guests WHILE the ceremony took place, and our significant others were at the ceremony.

    8) The bride refused to speak to me at the ceremony, to the point where she would skip over me if there were people in line to congratulate her or say goodbye to her.

    9) We never received a thank-you note for the gifts we bought, although we've since seen the gifts displayed in their home.

    The top three problems with this wedding:

    1) Not giving guests information about when the wedding starts and ends, and having people have to wait around while you're having your ceremony that they're not invited to

    2) Having guests bring centerpieces for you

    3) Ignoring your brother's significant other throughout the whole damn process
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • I haven't been to any utterly horrible weddings, but I do recall one wedding I attended where there was no DJ, just an iPod. This wouldn't normally bother me, except that the iPod wasn't even set to a playlist. It was playing all these weird slow songs and songs about break ups and stuff, so it was really awkward. This couple also had a kissing jar. Ew. 

    At another wedding, the B&G did the shoe-in-the-air game. Lameness. 
    image
  • We went to one a couple of years ago that was a real doozy:

    1. Full Catholic mass ceremony - for a couple that had already been married for over a year and was having a PPD
    2. My SO was in the wedding, so we met up with friends early so he could go with the groomsmen and we could carpool to the ceremony - this is okay but mind you this was mid-morning - I ate breakfast beforehand and then...
    3. Ceremony started late
    4. HUGE unhosted gap before reception - and my SO was in the "wedding" so I had to spend the entire day with some women from his friend group, most of whom I had never met before
    5. We finally went to the reception hours later and there was a cash bar and nothing to eat - for over an hour - the wedding party was late getting back from taking pictures at a ridiculous and non-local third location
    6. Once the reception started, there was very little to eat until dinner, which was not served for over an hour
    7. By then I had a terrible migraine from not eating all day and ended up laying down in the backseat of the car until my SO could make a gracious exit
    Did I mention it was a PPD?  

    And not that this necessarily makes it a bad "wedding" but it was at one of those wedding factory banquet halls and there were two other weddings going on at the same time - talk about confusing and impersonal.

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  • We went to one in April with a 6 hour gap. It was in a suburb of our city, about a 45 minute drive, so we drove a total of three hours that day, going back and forth. Dinner was a buffet where someone else serve very small portions. Only the wedding party got seconds and had a full open bar. Ours was partial - the only free alcoholic beverage was sangria ad everything else was cash. We left right after dinner and used our cash gift to buy ourselves dinner. We later felt bad and sent them a gift card.
  • The worst one I went to it was a lot of little things that just sort of built up into a big mess.

    It was my husband's, then-fiance's, cousin's wedding.

    Invitation was from the bride's mother and deceased father.
    I felt sad for the bride that her father wasn't with her anymore, but also very confused by how he was going to manage to host a wedding.

    Registry info on the invite.

    2pm Catholic Ceremony, 5pm cocktail hour.
    However that could have been worse, since it was almost an hour drive to the reception site.

    It was all out in a nearly rural area and there wasn't anything to do, so we all showed up at the reception at 4 since the doors were open and did nothing but try to find tables together since the tables weren't assigned (and I realize open seating isn't against etiquette, but I still hate it).

    Finally cocktail hour happens, but there is no food. The favor was a chocolate covered pretzel stick so everyone at our table at that readily. We were all starving since we all had a very early lunch before making the drive out to the wedding.

    Cocktail hour ends around 6:30... this is when the bar started charging... unless you were in the bridal party. Then you still drank for free while the rest of us paid.
    (One of our cousins happened to be dressed almost just like the groomsmen. When the bartender mistook him and wasn't charging, we didn't correct him. Our cousin was the resident drink-getter for our table the rest of the night. Yeah, yeah, two wrongs don't make a right. Whatever.)

    Pictures ran long. Bride and groom didn't show up until 7:30. (so, still no food, and an hour since drinks were being hosted).

    Head table (and I noticed SO were not seated with their partners).

    Dollar dance.

    Then they had sandwich makings later in the night, which was really nice! But it would have been so much more appreciated at 6 when we were all starving.

    The real kicker actually occurred after.
    My FI and I were traveling from out of town and hadn't brought the gift with us. We sent it after the wedding. Yes, bad us. But I figured we had a year anyway and I didn't think much of it... until...

    My FMIL fowarded us the email the cousin had sent her.
    >I just wanted to check with you on something.  *Husband* and I were going through
    > our wedding stuff this weekend getting ready to do our thank-you cards and I
    > noticed there wasn’t anything from *My FI* and Aurianna.  I just wanted to check
    > with you and make sure I didn’t misplace something.

    I was totally livid that she'd essentially go to my FMIL and tell her we didn't give them a present. The next day my FMIL and I forwarded the email with the subject line "Just kidding!" that said she'd gotten our gift the day after her first email.

    The only other thing is that the music most of the night was country music. And that's fine. But it's not everyone's thing and there was really almost no one on the dance floor all night. And then at my wedding three months later, the bride's mother was complainging to my FIL that he was dancing so much at our wedding but hadn't danced at all at the cousin's wedding. What?
  • zobird said:
    We went to one in April with a 6 hour gap. It was in a suburb of our city, about a 45 minute drive, so we drove a total of three hours that day, going back and forth. Dinner was a buffet where someone else serve very small portions. Only the wedding party got seconds and had a full open bar. Ours was partial - the only free alcoholic beverage was sangria ad everything else was cash. We left right after dinner and used our cash gift to buy ourselves dinner. We later felt bad and sent them a gift card.
    I never feel bad about taking back my cash if a couple puts me in that position.  Why should I give you money so I can come to a party that I apparently have to partially host myself?

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  • Outdoor ceremony, it was a quick 10 minutes, but only one row (8-10) chairs reserved for the elderly. And of course, we got there early. I wouldn't mind that too much but we couldn't hear ceremony so it wasn't worth standing in heels for half an hour.

    Outdoor reception in the heat with no a/c and plenty of bugs. Partial cash bar. The thing that bothered us most was the heat, FH doesn't tolerate heat and humidity well.
  • AllyIdo said:
    phira said:

    1) They stuck with their original date even after making the wedding more traditional. Not only did they pick the day after the BIGGEST moving day in Boston, but they knew that my fiance (then boyfriend) and I were moving the day before, and their parents had agreed to help us move before they knew about the engagement. They didn't move the date even after they changed their plans.

    Ahhh not September 1!!!!!!!!!

    Go Pats! :)
    YUP. And were moving in BRIGHTON. Never ever ever doing that again ever. Our move was spectacularly bad, and then at the rehearsal dinner that night, the bride's father started asking us about the move, and his daughter, the lovely bride-to-be, screamed at us for talking about it.

    Sports right now = best EVERRR. God, I love this time of year.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • My boyfriend and I had been together for over two years when he received an invitation to a wedding of a friend of his from college. It was only addressed to him, without my name or even And Guest.
    So I didn't go.
    Turned out to be a huge, fancy wedding; there was no excuse for the faux-pas of not letting a guest bring their plus-one. At the very least, they didn't take care to find out the relationship status of the people honored enough to get an invite in the first place. 


    Even though I've seen an etiquette breach here and there, nothing's snowballed into "worst" wedding for me.  What sticks out to me, the very lasting memories, is bad food.  
    ________________________________


  • My best worst one was pretty epic so I'm saving it for today ;)

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  • zobird said:
    We went to one in April with a 6 hour gap. It was in a suburb of our city, about a 45 minute drive, so we drove a total of three hours that day, going back and forth. Dinner was a buffet where someone else serve very small portions. Only the wedding party got seconds and had a full open bar. Ours was partial - the only free alcoholic beverage was sangria ad everything else was cash. We left right after dinner and used our cash gift to buy ourselves dinner. We later felt bad and sent them a gift card.
    That's terrible--was there a buffet nazi saying "no seconds for you"?  How did they tell people they couldn't have seconds?
  • phira said:
    I haven't been to a lot of weddings as an adult, but I went to one last year that wasn't very great.

    Bride and groom (future brother and sister-in-law) originally wanted a VERY low key wedding day and non-traditional wedding. Like, city hall wedding, picnic in the park. Super casual. The day they picked was 4 months after they announced their engagement. Both families started to pressure them heavily into having a more traditional wedding, and they both FLIPPED out because of the pressure. Here's what happened.

    1) They stuck with their original date even after making the wedding more traditional. Not only did they pick the day after the BIGGEST moving day in Boston, but they knew that my fiance (then boyfriend) and I were moving the day before, and their parents had agreed to help us move before they knew about the engagement. They didn't move the date even after they changed their plans.

    2) They didn't send formal invitations at all; they just emailed people. While I'm fine with e-vites, it meant that I was actually left off the invitation. They assumed my partner was bringing me, but I wasn't formally invited.

    3) They wouldn't tell anyone what time the wedding started or ended. I was going to be renting a car by the hour and needed to know what time to set the rental. I couldn't get a straight answer. My partner didn't know what time he needed to be there, and he was in the ceremony.

    4) No one knew whether the wedding was indoors or outdoors, or what to wear. The bride and groom would only say that the wedding was non-traditional and that we could wear whatever we wanted. They got upset if people thought the wedding was outside, but kept saying how great it was that the weather would be nice because there were outdoor activities planned.

    5) Although my partner was the brother of the groom and invited to a bunch of stuff, I wasn't invited to any pre-wedding events (bridal shower or joint bachelor/bachelorette party).

    6) Guests were asked to bring a bouquet of flowers for the centerpieces.

    7) The day of the wedding, my other future sister-in-law (married to my partner's other brother) was asked to escort some guests to the ceremony, but wasn't invited to the ceremony herself. She and I had to wait with the majority of guests WHILE the ceremony took place, and our significant others were at the ceremony.

    8) The bride refused to speak to me at the ceremony, to the point where she would skip over me if there were people in line to congratulate her or say goodbye to her.

    9) We never received a thank-you note for the gifts we bought, although we've since seen the gifts displayed in their home.

    The top three problems with this wedding:

    1) Not giving guests information about when the wedding starts and ends, and having people have to wait around while you're having your ceremony that they're not invited to

    2) Having guests bring centerpieces for you

    3) Ignoring your brother's significant other throughout the whole damn process
    I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!?!???????? They asked guests to bring bouquets to use as centerpieces? I have never heard of that level of crazy before.
    image
  • zobird said:
    We went to one in April with a 6 hour gap. It was in a suburb of our city, about a 45 minute drive, so we drove a total of three hours that day, going back and forth. Dinner was a buffet where someone else serve very small portions. Only the wedding party got seconds and had a full open bar. Ours was partial - the only free alcoholic beverage was sangria ad everything else was cash. We left right after dinner and used our cash gift to buy ourselves dinner. We later felt bad and sent them a gift card.


    I've also sort of encountered the 6 hour gap this year.

    DH & I drove an hour to get to the ceremony.

    The ceremony was at noon and the reception at 6. There was supposed to be a hosted appetizer buffet in between for ceremony attendees, so DH & I figured we could entertain ourselves and visit with relatives.

    I'm the first cousin once removed of the bride. When DH & I arrived at the church, we were surprised to find that the ceremony was apparently "private" and somehow we had accidentally received a ceremony invite thus being incredibly out of place among the bride and groom's immediate families.

    With all of the side-eyes we got for "crashing" the ceremony, we went home right after.

    We did get a thank you card from her. A pre-printed photo card with no personalized message. It wasn't even hand-signed by the bride and groom.

  • @MuppetFan has about the best worst I've heard of. If she doesn't post herself, go look through some of her threads. It's pretty epic.
  • harper0813harper0813 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2013


    zobird said:

    We went to one in April with a 6 hour gap. It was in a suburb of our city, about a 45 minute drive, so we drove a total of three hours that day, going back and forth. Dinner was a buffet where someone else serve very small portions. Only the wedding party got seconds and had a full open bar. Ours was partial - the only free alcoholic beverage was sangria ad everything else was cash. We left right after dinner and used our cash gift to buy ourselves dinner. We later felt bad and sent them a gift card.

    That's terrible--was there a buffet nazi saying "no seconds for you"?  How did they tell people they couldn't have seconds?

    ---

    Someone else at our table went up and was told that they didn't have enough for seconds. His girlfriend was a BM (they were separated - she was at the head table and he was among guests he didn't know) and she came by to visit and he complained to her that he was hungry and wanted to grab some fast food and she offered to get seconds for him because she had special privileges.
  • LDubHawksFanLDubHawksFan member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2013

    phira said:

    I haven't been to a lot of weddings as an adult, but I went to one last year that wasn't very great.

    Bride and groom (future brother and sister-in-law) originally wanted a VERY low key wedding day and non-traditional wedding. Like, city hall wedding, picnic in the park. Super casual. The day they picked was 4 months after they announced their engagement. Both families started to pressure them heavily into having a more traditional wedding, and they both FLIPPED out because of the pressure. Here's what happened.

    1) They stuck with their original date even after making the wedding more traditional. Not only did they pick the day after the BIGGEST moving day in Boston, but they knew that my fiance (then boyfriend) and I were moving the day before, and their parents had agreed to help us move before they knew about the engagement. They didn't move the date even after they changed their plans.

    2) They didn't send formal invitations at all; they just emailed people. While I'm fine with e-vites, it meant that I was actually left off the invitation. They assumed my partner was bringing me, but I wasn't formally invited.

    3) They wouldn't tell anyone what time the wedding started or ended. I was going to be renting a car by the hour and needed to know what time to set the rental. I couldn't get a straight answer. My partner didn't know what time he needed to be there, and he was in the ceremony.

    4) No one knew whether the wedding was indoors or outdoors, or what to wear. The bride and groom would only say that the wedding was non-traditional and that we could wear whatever we wanted. They got upset if people thought the wedding was outside, but kept saying how great it was that the weather would be nice because there were outdoor activities planned.

    5) Although my partner was the brother of the groom and invited to a bunch of stuff, I wasn't invited to any pre-wedding events (bridal shower or joint bachelor/bachelorette party).

    6) Guests were asked to bring a bouquet of flowers for the centerpieces.

    7) The day of the wedding, my other future sister-in-law (married to my partner's other brother) was asked to escort some guests to the ceremony, but wasn't invited to the ceremony herself. She and I had to wait with the majority of guests WHILE the ceremony took place, and our significant others were at the ceremony.

    8) The bride refused to speak to me at the ceremony, to the point where she would skip over me if there were people in line to congratulate her or say goodbye to her.

    9) We never received a thank-you note for the gifts we bought, although we've since seen the gifts displayed in their home.

    The top three problems with this wedding:

    1) Not giving guests information about when the wedding starts and ends, and having people have to wait around while you're having your ceremony that they're not invited to

    2) Having guests bring centerpieces for you

    3) Ignoring your brother's significant other throughout the whole damn process


    Wait, so you, the other fsil, and other "guests" were not invited to watch the ceremony?? Wtf?!


    image
  • A family friend had a daughter who just turned 18 that getting married. Hailey and her fiance decided to get married after he finished up Boot camp. So she sends the invitation via Facebook stating that the wedding was going to be at the lodge and all was welcome. My mom and I traveled to the lodge and the wedding was in December in the later evening. We walk into the 'lodge' and it was a small room with some people seated scattered across the room. My mom gives me a look like 'what the HELL is this?". 
    The ceremony started with her in his obnoxious looking Marie Antoinette ball gown that wasn't fitted and he was in his Dress whites. After the ceremony finished she and Drake went outside to take photos while the rest of us (like 30) sat in the chairs...starving and wondering what the hell was going on. When they finished the photos, they came back inside and started dancing. Her parents were hosting the wedding and they didn't provide ANY FOOD or DRINKS. She ended up getting wasted off the rum her husband was drinking with this military buddies. 
    My mom mentioned something about being really peckish and her mom was like "well there is some food places nearby if you guys would like to get something afterwards". My mom thought that she was suggesting after she finishes dancing, we ALL would be getting dinner, boy was she wrong. Soon her mother was leaving and was thanking us all for coming to her daughter's wedding. I was pissed the fuck off, Hailey didn't understand why her family members were so hungry and bothered by 'the behavior'. My mom decided to return her wedding present and instead she got her a card saying "best wishes". 
    Later on while speaking with Hailey's grandfather, he took us all out and treated us all to dinner at this nearby restaurant. He was so disappointed in his family for what they did. 

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • Worst wedding ever was definitely the wedding for my ex's sister. Here's a list of the issues in no particular order of irritation.

    1. Cash bar - at the reception you were issued 2 drink tickets, after that there was a charge for everything including soda and tea.

    2. Head Table - I had to sit by myself since my ex was a groomsman. I sat with another lady who was a FI to another groomsman.

    3. Dollar Dance

    4. They auctioned off the bride's garter. Whoever paid the most was going to be allowed to remove it but in the end the groom stepped in and did it. The whole auction thing was still super gross.

    5. We never got a thank you letter...I made her a photo booth (and paid for the materials too) and brought a gift. I didn't get a separate thank you note nor did ex-BF and I get one as a couple. I also set up the food for the rehearsal dinner while the ceremony rehearsal was going on.



  • mimiphinmimiphin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2013

    In order of degree of offense personally taken, from most to least:

    1.   Cash Bar (Including Pop and Juice, I am not paying for my 7-up!)

     

    2.   No thank you note (gave a bride- my now ex-nail girl who I was good friends with, a card and $100 before her destination Las Vegas wedding, no thank you, no anything. AND the wedding never happened(!) turns out that he was cheating on her for 1 1/2 years before (I would never condone sleeping with another woman’s man but I honestly can't say I blame him, she was awful to him) I chalked this up to I lost out on $100 and learned my lesson.

     

    3.   Being told to not give a gift and give cash instead

     

    4.   Being invited to a PPD (never happened to me but would really piss me off!)

     

    5.   Invited to the reception/celebration of wedding (not a PPD) and not the actual wedding- to me it’s just a gift grab, if you don't want me to see you get married then why would you want me to see you all dress up and at a celebration?

     

    6.   Different meal from what was served to guests (has never happened to me)

     

    7.   The bride asking my grandmother (her great aunt in-law) to tell the caterer that they were done the ceremony and ready for their snack tray (Get someone else to do this, not a guest and NOT someone you met the day before!)

     

    8.    Being seated at a crappy table (Kids table, without my SO, a bunch of people I don't know)

     

    9.    E-invites or non-handwritten thank you cards

     

    10. Cash bar- free non alcoholic

  • One wedding I went to was just full of so much tacky, but wasn't necessarily badly hosted. Just painful to watch. I.E., bride's dress altered so badly that it fell down to the point where guests could see her nipples during the reception (no joke). She was a big girl and bought it off a chinese site and it fit awful but she never got it fixed.


  • I don't post much, but I have to join in on this. I've got two:

    #1 I was a BM in a friend's wedding 6 years ago. I love this girl to death, but 6 years later I still judge this, so keep in mind that your friends will probably never tell you if you piss them off with your rude plans. They will just remember the rudeness for a long time.

    There was a huge gap (I'm talking 11am ceremony, 6pm reception) with no hosted cocktail hour. Luckily, I was in the wedding party so B&G had arranged a limo to drive us all around and there was plenty of booze for all. Unluckily, I had about two drinks since the last thing I had eaten was a bagel while we were getting our hair done at 8am. Reception began at 6pm. So yeah, I was starving. I actually would've rather been a guest who had no accommodations made for me since I could've run to McDonald's.

    Wedding #2 was by far the fanciest most elegant wedding I have ever been to. It was in this super ritzy hotel downtown and there was just every amenity you could think of, they definitely spared no expense. And although the reception was in an adjoining room to the ceremony area, we were all herded into the cocktail area while the wedding party took pictures for 3 hours. Again, booze was flowing. In this case, there were also tons of passed apps, so we were all fine to wait for dinner. But...there wasn't a chair in the joint. Luckily there were a couple alcoves with cushioned benches that the elderly guests could sit on but the other 200 or so guests were SOL. These people spent probably double my annual salary on their wedding and the one thing that sticks out in my memory is how much my damn feet hurt.

     

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