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Etiquette

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

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Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Bostonian here. Many events come with Dropkick Murphys, "Sweet Caroline," or "Dirty Water." Also, drunk guys named Sean. :P

    I thought of another bad wedding; actually, it was a bridal shower, so I hope this counts. 

    My cousin (with whom I am not very close) had a bridal shower about a month before her wedding. She and her H2B already lived together, so they registered for a couple of small things and then lots of very big things. $500, $1000 items. Naturally, the small items go first, so I bought them something that they didn't register for (a handmade engraved cutting board from a local artist) because there was literally nothing else to get them, and my thinking was, who hates cutting boards? Well. Bride opened it, wrinkled her nose, and set it aside. No "thanks". No "oh, who is this from". Just set it aside, with the unopened card, and continued on. Someone else purchased her a beautiful monogram charm for her bracelet and she said "I don't ever wear that bracelet" and set the box aside. Same with a bridal hanger that was twisted in the shape of her wedding date. "I already have this." Okay. Sure. Maybe the gifts aren't to your liking, but you accept them, say thanks, paste on a smile, and move on.

    Also, the MOB (my aunt) used this occasion to ask all of the bridal party members for $50 for the bride's morning-of brunch. Apparently, they wanted to "host" a wedding day brunch for everyone ... that we were paying for. I said yes because the other girls did, but now I realize I probably should have declined. My cousin is normally a nice enough girl, but she turned into a crazy person, aided and abetted by aunt who was living vicariously through her.
    Wow, how rude can you be?  I got cutting boards I disliked at my shower (a package of those thin floppy plastic ones, I hate them, from my MIL).  But I smiled and said thank you and sent her a lovely TY because that's what you do.

    PrettyGirlLostRebeccaB88[Deleted User]perdonami
  • Yea I imagine I may get some awkward wedding gifts and there is no law that you have to like everything you get especially if people deviate from the registry, but you do need to show gratitude since gifts are thoughtful and given out of love. And that's what matters. That bride sounds like a spoiled little brat! No baby shower gifts for her!
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Oh, we're including showers now? I've got a doozy ...

    I planned a bridal shower for a former friend of mine. As it turned out, I planned the third bridal shower this girl had. This one was for her friends and family near her age. My mom very graciously offered use of her house and helped make food. I arranged decorations. We made Christmas ornaments for the bride's tree. Everything was going okay until we got to opening gifts. There were very few boxed gifts (don't really know why). My mom had pulled a picture frame out of the closet for her, which she tossed aside with no comment. I had bought the Pyrex set off her registry. She opened it, looked up, and said "I've already got 3 of these." My jaw hit the floor. Thankfully one of her cousins saved the day by saying "Well, now if the pieces break you have extras," which was good because anything I would have said would not have been etiquette-approved.

    No thank-you notes to me or my mother for hosting, either. I was a BM in her wedding, so I'd been dealing with rude for months at that point. It's not the only reason we're no longer friends, but boy did that shower contribute.
  • phira said:
    Okay, so, an explanation of my comment.

    1) Sweet Caroline is traditionally played in the middle of the 8th inning at Fenway. The tradition isn't honestly very old, and a lot of people (including fans) find it really irritating. But it's a Thing That Happens at Fenway.

    2) The Dropkick Murphys are a Boston-based band, and they've got a bunch of songs that are Red Sox associated ("Tessie" and "Shipping Up to Boston"). They're huge Sox fans; they've done the national anthem at Fenway before playoff games, and after the Sox won in 2007, they actually played in the rolling rally on a flatbed, with Jonathan Papelbon (the closer at the time) Irish stepdancing like a maniac to their music.

    So, the fact that the use of a Dropkick song for the recessional was assumed to be the groom's choice, and the fact that the groom was singing Sweet Caroline at the reception led me to guess that he might be a Sox fan.
    I had no idea that song was about baseball or the Red Sox, cool!

    Here we just "raise the Jolly Roger" and shoot off fireworks when the Buccos win *snort*
    Here in Baltimore we yell out the "O!" (for Orioles) at the end of the national anthem.
    ("O say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave...")
    Lots of people consider it rude, but the defense is that the anthem is written about a battle that took place in Baltimore (Ft. McHenry). 
    I'm okay with doing it at Orioles and Ravens games, but people also do it at formal events like commencement ceremonies which drives me up a wall. 
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • The worst wedding I've ever been to was the wedding of one of my best, life-long friends. They had a cash bar and a super cheap buffet that gave everyone food poisoning. I'm not knocking them for not spending more on the food, they didn't have more in the budget for it, but if they had done their research, they would have known this catering company had many complaints about food poisoning. There were also no food options for vegetarians (3 different types of meatballs and cold chicken alfredo).

    They had a head table and sat the guests of the wedding party on the opposite side of the room. The bridesmaids, all ranging between 18-21, were all required to purchase $200 dresses, matching shoes, matching jewelry, and get their hair, make-up, and nails done. They were given nothing by the bride, not even a nice card.

    The MOB threw a screaming tantrum over having to take pictures near FOB, her ex. The bride screamed at me and several other guests for coming up and greeting them throughout the reception because she "didn't have time for this sh!t." The bride also blasted her guests on Facebook prior to the wedding for not RSVPing...she forgot to include the RSVP cards.

    They ended the reception with a dollar dance, and then an announcement was made asking every guest to stay behind and help clean the venue. They never sent thank you cards. This was 5 years ago, so I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot!
    Amyzen83painterlt
  • We went to a wedding all in Spanish too! The groom didn't speak it, and he paid for the whole thing. There was an ear splittingly loud mariachi band, and then all these Mexican folk dances, which would have been a bit fun had the groom and his family not looked painfully confused and out of place. You could tell the bride and her family called the shots while the gro wrote the




    phira said:

    Okay, so, an explanation of my comment.

    1) Sweet Caroline is traditionally played in the middle of the 8th inning at Fenway. The tradition isn't honestly very old, and a lot of people (including fans) find it really irritating. But it's a Thing That Happens at Fenway.

    2) The Dropkick Murphys are a Boston-based band, and they've got a bunch of songs that are Red Sox associated ("Tessie" and "Shipping Up to Boston"). They're huge Sox fans; they've done the national anthem at Fenway before playoff games, and after the Sox won in 2007, they actually played in the rolling rally on a flatbed, with Jonathan Papelbon (the closer at the time) Irish stepdancing like a maniac to their music.

    So, the fact that the use of a Dropkick song for the recessional was assumed to be the groom's choice, and the fact that the groom was singing Sweet Caroline at the reception led me to guess that he might be a Sox fan.

    I had no idea that song was about baseball or the Red Sox, cool!

    Here we just "raise the Jolly Roger" and shoot off fireworks when the Buccos win *snort*

    Here in Baltimore we yell out the "O!" (for Orioles) at the end of the national anthem.
    ("O say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave...")
    Lots of people consider it rude, but the defense is that the anthem is written about a battle that took place in Baltimore (Ft. McHenry). 
    I'm okay with doing it at Orioles and Ravens games, but people also do it at formal events like commencement ceremonies which drives me up a wall. 


    Here in Dallas we yell the word star during the anthem at hockey games, because we are the Dallas Stars. Sometimes at Cowboy games because their symbol is a star too.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    phira said:
    Okay, so, an explanation of my comment.

    1) Sweet Caroline is traditionally played in the middle of the 8th inning at Fenway. The tradition isn't honestly very old, and a lot of people (including fans) find it really irritating. But it's a Thing That Happens at Fenway.

    2) The Dropkick Murphys are a Boston-based band, and they've got a bunch of songs that are Red Sox associated ("Tessie" and "Shipping Up to Boston"). They're huge Sox fans; they've done the national anthem at Fenway before playoff games, and after the Sox won in 2007, they actually played in the rolling rally on a flatbed, with Jonathan Papelbon (the closer at the time) Irish stepdancing like a maniac to their music.

    So, the fact that the use of a Dropkick song for the recessional was assumed to be the groom's choice, and the fact that the groom was singing Sweet Caroline at the reception led me to guess that he might be a Sox fan.
    I had no idea that song was about baseball or the Red Sox, cool!

    Here we just "raise the Jolly Roger" and shoot off fireworks when the Buccos win *snort*
    Here in Baltimore we yell out the "O!" (for Orioles) at the end of the national anthem.
    ("O say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave...")
    Lots of people consider it rude, but the defense is that the anthem is written about a battle that took place in Baltimore (Ft. McHenry). 
    I'm okay with doing it at Orioles and Ravens games, but people also do it at formal events like commencement ceremonies which drives me up a wall. 
    Count me as one of the people who find it rude.  I'm ok with it at a sporting event  but not at more formal events.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • My ex boyfriend's sisters wedding. Now, some of the things I will describe aren't things I would usually judge, bc I don't expect weddings to al be fancy affairs, and I believe people should stay within a budget that is realistic for them. BUT i have to say this girl was VERY spoiled and her parents had tons of money and she was their only daughter and her mom was ready, willing and able to spend a lot on the wedding and this girl was the cheapest person EVERRRRR and would get in fights with her mom about how much to spend on things.


    The first and longest fight was where she wanted to serve the guests cold cuts at a Saturday night reception. Her mom wanted a typical hot catered meal. This girl, even though she wasn't paying for a thing and her mom had plenty of money, was throwing a fit for two months about this until finally she gave in and let her mom do that.  A cold meal at a casual day thing may be fine, esp if the couple has financial limitations, but this girl had no reason for that, and all her fam was coming from many states away.


    ANYWAY so at the wedding at the church, she wouldn't pay for a videographer, either, but still insisted that the ceremony be filmed. I had been with my bf for four years. When i got there she took a camcorder she borrowed from a family member and asked me to sit by myself in the back balcony and film it. SO, i spent the wedding upstairs in a balcony by myself worrying about framing thee shots properly. Again, knowing that her mom had plenty of money to get a videographer, she should have gotten one instead of expecting a guest to do it for free. I didn't want to and i was so stressed the whole time i would screw it up.


    Any time leading up to the wedding that any one would ask her what the dress looked like, shed act all offended and taken aback that they ask and be like, I CANT TELL you its a surprise...and her mom would keep explaining that it was only a surprise for the groom, but she kept saying that she wanted it to be a surprise for everyone.

    The reception was at a park lodge with bad folding chairs and plastic tablecloths and it was FREEZING and nobody drank alcohol, so she held up this big plastic goblet full of red koolaid for the toast.

    her husbands family was super Baptist and so they hadn't had sex before marriage, but when the wedding is over we go outside and the grooms brothers (all Baptist ministers) had decorated the car with "Just married" on the back and  references to "the kitty" i.e. vagina,all over the cars windows...like congrats you finally get to touch the kitty and stuff like that. It was very gross and creepy and i found it weird that so devoutly religious people would be so obsessed with the idea that marriage equals finaly getting to have sex. it was AWFUL!!!!


    OH not to mention that during the ceremony the baptist minister when on and on about how it is her job to serve the man and submit to him and everything was his will. I mean i have a lot of baptist friends who told me thats not how their church does it...it was uncomfortable and sort of depressing. 

    so yeah, that was mine. likei said, if people cant afford a fancy wedding and cant afford alcohol that's fine, but there was something about this wedding, with my knowing what their limitations were, and some other things, that made it just seem like it was poor taste.  

    themuffinman16Amyzen83
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Bostonian here. Many events come with Dropkick Murphys, "Sweet Caroline," or "Dirty Water." Also, drunk guys named Sean. :P

    I thought of another bad wedding; actually, it was a bridal shower, so I hope this counts. 

    My cousin (with whom I am not very close) had a bridal shower about a month before her wedding. She and her H2B already lived together, so they registered for a couple of small things and then lots of very big things. $500, $1000 items. Naturally, the small items go first, so I bought them something that they didn't register for (a handmade engraved cutting board from a local artist) because there was literally nothing else to get them, and my thinking was, who hates cutting boards? Well. Bride opened it, wrinkled her nose, and set it aside. No "thanks". No "oh, who is this from". Just set it aside, with the unopened card, and continued on. Someone else purchased her a beautiful monogram charm for her bracelet and she said "I don't ever wear that bracelet" and set the box aside. Same with a bridal hanger that was twisted in the shape of her wedding date. "I already have this." Okay. Sure. Maybe the gifts aren't to your liking, but you accept them, say thanks, paste on a smile, and move on.

    Also, the MOB (my aunt) used this occasion to ask all of the bridal party members for $50 for the bride's morning-of brunch. Apparently, they wanted to "host" a wedding day brunch for everyone ... that we were paying for. I said yes because the other girls did, but now I realize I probably should have declined. My cousin is normally a nice enough girl, but she turned into a crazy person, aided and abetted by aunt who was living vicariously through her.
    She can send me the cutting boards she doesn't want.  I can always use cutting boards.
    huskypuppy14Amyzen83
  • We were invited to the wedding of DH's close family friends (they all consider themselves cousins, aunts uncles, etc.) which was out of state so pretty much everyone had to travel. My DH's parents were there as well. The day before the wedding we were told by my MIL that they had been invited to the rehearsal dinner, but DH and I were not, however we could come have a cocktail before dinner of we wanted. We wanted to skip the whole thing but were talked into going for a cocktail. We arrive at the restaurant with DH's parents only to find out that cocktails were not being served on a separate patio as we were told but in the room where the dinner was to be held and there was no place for us. We decided to quietly leave. As we are walking to our car, the bridal party pulls into the parking lot. DH's aunt yells across the parking lot "aren't you coming in for a drink?" DH was so mad and mortified that he could not speak. I was polite and told that we had made other plans for dinner and that we were just dropping off DH's parents. This was over 2 years ago and to this day it still shocks me how rude these people treated "family".
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    AzAnnie said:
    We were invited to the wedding of DH's close family friends (they all consider themselves cousins, aunts uncles, etc.) which was out of state so pretty much everyone had to travel. My DH's parents were there as well. The day before the wedding we were told by my MIL that they had been invited to the rehearsal dinner, but DH and I were not, however we could come have a cocktail before dinner of we wanted. We wanted to skip the whole thing but were talked into going for a cocktail. We arrive at the restaurant with DH's parents only to find out that cocktails were not being served on a separate patio as we were told but in the room where the dinner was to be held and there was no place for us. We decided to quietly leave. As we are walking to our car, the bridal party pulls into the parking lot. DH's aunt yells across the parking lot "aren't you coming in for a drink?" DH was so mad and mortified that he could not speak. I was polite and told that we had made other plans for dinner and that we were just dropping off DH's parents. This was over 2 years ago and to this day it still shocks me how rude these people treated "family".
    It sounds like your FI aunt was the rude one by inviting you to have drinks but not dinner. However, it was not rude to not invite you to the rehearsal dinner, since you were not in the wedding party. 
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    antotoJBee85PrettyGirlLost
  • I think the whole tiered rehearsal dinner was what pissed off AzAnnie and her DH especially since they were OOT.
    perdonami
  • FI was kind of insulted about not being invited to the rehearsal dinner. They are a very traditional family from back East and they believe that out of town guests are invited to the rehearsal dinner as well. His parents were out of town guests as we were. His biggest beef was the humiliation of running into the entire wedding party in the parking lot as we were leaving. Just plain rude.
    Amyzen83
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    My parents got really mad about not being invited to my cousin's rehearsal dinner, hosted by my aunt and uncle, since they were out of towners.  My aunt and uncle wanted to host only wedding party members at the rehearsal dinner and planned a hospitality suite for all other out-of-towners and relatives, but my parents insisted on skipping it and going out with me, my brother and SIL, and some other friends instead.  I felt that my aunt and uncle did have the right to not invite everyone to the rehearsal dinner and since they weren't leaving everyone to fend for themselves, my parents were being unreasonably pissy, but....Sigh.
    LadyLawliet95Amyzen83
  • Went to wedding where it was basically a quickie wedding for a young couple who accidentally got pregnant...(not even a year later and they're already on the verge of divorce), but anyways, the entire wedding was uncoordinated, no one in the bridal party knew what to do even before the day of the wedding. Cocktail hour was decent but the soup/salad and main course were horrible, music for the reception was like a pre-teen night club, and no thank you notes we ever sent.
  • I wouldn't call this wedding BAD, but it was just very uncomfortable.  First, we never received invitations, but were told about a week before the wedding that we could come.  The groom's best man was staying at our house along with his girlfriend who was a bridesmaid, so we figured we would go.  

    The whole event was at his parents house, which was on a large lot with some horse stables - very pretty.  The ceremony was very sweet, despite the officiant being awful and clearly unorganized - I'm pretty sure she skipped a part and then went back to it.  The couple was very sweet though, I definitely got teary eyed when the bride said her vows.

    After the ceremony we were led to where the reception was to take place.  I'm fine with the cocktail hour being in the same space as the reception.  What I did feel weird about was that there was no assigned seating.  This probably isn't poor etiquette, but when it meant was that we ended up sitting with strange people we had nothing in common with.  The "DJ" started playing music (I believe he was a friend of theirs.  He was playing pandora so you would hear commercials every few minutes).  

    This is the part that killed me the most.  The wedding party began walking around with little pads of paper to take people's order - vegetable or meat lasagna.  I was in complete shock to see the bridesmaids and groomsmen running around to take orders.  When the lasagna came out we realized it was stauffers frozen lasagna.  Low quality food is not poor etiquette, but it was just a little jarring - I've never been served frozen food like that at a wedding before.

    When dancing began there was mostly just kids, but then there were two women as well who were dancing extremely provocatively, and even started to teach the kids how to dance that way.  

    My date and I found the B&G and wished them well and quickly left.  I felt so awkward for every second of that reception!

    I have no problem with low budget weddings - but I think you need to do it correctly and NOT use your wedding party to be your servers or DJs.   
    image
  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I love this thread! I'm planning a multicultural wedding (he's Mexican and was raised Catholic, I'm a Eastern European Jewish mutt- neither of us are religious) and I'm realizing we have very different wedding customs. Many of the things he sees as expected, I find appalling (dollar dance?). This is helpful...

    My worst wedding? An ex bf took me to the wedding of his best friend's dad's wedding. He was a second father type and this was his 4th wedding. Both b & g were performers and their multiple musical groups performed. A lot. As in 3 hours of barbershop quartets and choruses. The seats were uncomfortable but it felt rude to move around. The open bar ran out of booze. Not a good situation.
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  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    First (and only) time I ever saw a dollar dance was when my college roommate got married.  Her husband was Mexican-American.  It was explained to me as a Mexican custom, so I shrugged it off.  But even as a 23 year old who didn't care too much about etiquette, it struck me as really odd. That particular instance seemed much more like his family shilling for money for them than anything else.  (Both bride and groom did the dollar dance as a competition.  He handily beat her in the money raising.)  I could tell most of the people who were not from his side of the family also found it odd.  The rest of her wedding was lots of fun though.
    image
  • I love this post.....resurrecting it.  I got invited to a wedding on a holiday weekend that had a cash bar. Two of my least favorite things! Don't try to hijack my holiday weekend... And if you do - at least pay for my drinks!
  • I love this post.....resurrecting it.  I got invited to a wedding on a holiday weekend that had a cash bar. Two of my least favorite things! Don't try to hijack my holiday weekend... And if you do - at least pay for my drinks!
    Fo shiz.  I was in a 4th of July weekend wedding a few years ago with a cash bar - even for soda and water.  Oh, and there was no air conditioning.  It was great. *rageface*

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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I love this post.....resurrecting it.  I got invited to a wedding on a holiday weekend that had a cash bar. Two of my least favorite things! Don't try to hijack my holiday weekend... And if you do - at least pay for my drinks!
    Fo shiz.  I was in a 4th of July weekend wedding a few years ago with a cash bar - even for soda and water.  Oh, and there was no air conditioning.  It was great. *rageface*
    FBIL is getting married this 4th of July weekend AT THE JERSEY SHORE.  Which is 2 hours away on a perfect traffic day.  If we weren't so close it would have been an instant decline.

    Oh, and they have a Honeyfund.  At least I'm pretty sure the food and drinks will be well hosted.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I went to 4th of July weekend weddings two years in a row - it was a nightmare.  One was a PPD with a 6+ hour gap and a cash bar and the other was one I was in that had quite a few serious etiquette issues (like, almost every one I can think of). 

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  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I'm having my wedding on July 5th, but I promise that I am doing everything in my power to make it 100% etiquette approved. And there will be copious amounts of hosted food and alcohol. Copious amounts.
    You are a good person.
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    eyeroll
    grumbledoreperdonami
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

     

    Inkdancer said:
    I'm having my wedding on July 5th, but I promise that I am doing everything in my power to make it 100% etiquette approved. And there will be copious amounts of hosted food and alcohol. Copious amounts.
    You are a good person.

    Thank you! We are hoping to come in enough under budget to cover Fat sandwiches and the first couple rounds of drinks after the wedding too. Right now, it's doable, but there's still 4 months where expenses might suddenly come up!
    ~*~*~*~*~

    grumbledore
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

     

    Inkdancer said:
    I'm having my wedding on July 5th, but I promise that I am doing everything in my power to make it 100% etiquette approved. And there will be copious amounts of hosted food and alcohol. Copious amounts.
    You are a good person.

    Thank you! We are hoping to come in enough under budget to cover Fat sandwiches and the first couple rounds of drinks after the wedding too. Right now, it's doable, but there's still 4 months where expenses might suddenly come up!
    I know that entirely too well. Turns out the first person to draft my catering budget counted for my minimum instead of my maximum and left a bunch of stuff out, so my cost just went up by like $1000 :C
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    eyeroll
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