Etiquette

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

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Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • I've never really been to a bad wedding, BUT I have definitely been to some that had etiquette faux pas

     

    1) I have gone to cash bar weddings. i am not much of a drinker so never really bothered me much

    2) Did go to a wedding (which actually was a blast) that ran out of liquor and a bunch of us ended up pitching into get another keg for it

    3) Drove to an out of state wedding where most guests were out of state and we got nothing but wine..no food or even finger foods. It was a fun wedding, but Iw as definitely hungry

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  • I still don't get how it's "bad" to not allow  the nursing child.   Several moms deal with this for work....

    Anyway, the worst one I went to was bad at the beginning:
    -Pastor started the ceremony by saying, "In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve.   NOT Adam and STEVE."
    -Later in the ceremony, same pastor said that the ring was a sign that the bride was the groom's most valuable possession.    Somehow the groom wasn't owned by the bride though.
    -Later on at the reception, they had a cash bar and their entertainment was a dude on a keyboard playing classics like Girl From Ipanema.

    Another not so fun wedding was when DH was a GM:
    -Head table that split the two of us.    At least they had the courtesy to seat me with mutual friends though.
    -Cash bar for ALL beverages except the wine pour with the meal.   My Diet Coke was 3 bucks! 
    -The above didn't apply to the wedding party who had free drinks for the entire time.  


    scully931
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Well, there was no "worst wedding" but two etiquette errors stand out for me:

    1) My cousin's wedding.  A group of cousins on his other side (my cousin, the groom, and I are maternal cousins; these were his paternal cousins) dressed inappropriately in casual attire, jeans, and sneakers when the wedding was formal.

    2) At my brother's wedding, a now-deceased great-aunt told my father it was her birthday and wanted a cupcake with a candle on it to blow out while everyone there sang Happy Birthday to her.  My father actually told her he'd arrange it, but as the FOG a lot of demands were made on his time and he forgot about it.  My great-aunt left a voice mail for another aunt of mine in which she went on a tirade about how angry she was that this didn't happen.
  • Most annoying thing to happen to me: SO and I are in the wedding but weren't allowed to eat next to each other during dinner. I ended up sitting next to BM who cried about her relationship.

    Brides, please let your GM and BM sit where they want at head table.
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  • banana468 said:
    I still don't get how it's "bad" to not allow  the nursing child.   Several moms deal with this for work....

    Agreed.  That's why I didn't push the issue.  Just because I was the MOH I wasn't a Special Snowflake.   :)

    scully931
  • Hmmm.  The "worst" wedding I've been to was probably my mom's. My mother raised us LDS (Mormon) and when she married my step-dad, they were married in a Temple.  Since I was only 15, I wasn't allowed at the actual wedding ceremony.  And had to sit in the waiting room for what felt like an enormously long time, but was probably really only an hour.  But I just felt really left out that I had to sit in a waiting room.  Honestly, I would have rather just stayed at home while she got married and then showed up later for the reception than had to sit there in the waiting room.

    My dad's fifth wedding was his tackiest - he had a ceremony and no reception.  I think he thought he was being polite and low-key since he had already had four weddings.  But he obviously failed.  I was only 11, so I don't remember too many details.

    And a "bridesmaid" at another Temple wedding for my best friend in Salt Lake City, UT with outdoor pictures in January.  I don't remember the exact temperature, but there was snow on the ground.  And we were not allowed to wear coats or sweaters because that would ruin the pictures.  I use "bridesmaid" because you can't actually have bridesmaids at a Temple wedding ceremony.  So being a "bridesmaid" means buying a dress to wear in the waiting room and to stand around in some pictures.  And sometimes sitting at a special table at the reception.

    I've also been a bridesmaid in an outdoor wedding in Phoenix, AZ when it was 110 degrees. Another bridesmaid almost fainted and had to sit down. 

    Aside from climate/temperature issues, I do think those two friends had wonderful weddings - had a great time at the receptions; they were gracious hosts.  And all of the other weddings I've gone to for friends have been lovely as well.  Reading some of pps' stories, I think I've been very lucky!

     

    Acire888
  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    @allispain YUP. Because of our disaster of a move, we were staying with my partner's parents, who were also hosting the rehearsal dinner (they have three boys, so that's their thing they do). So we had to stop at a supermarket, buy a bunch of bouquets, and when we showed up, we were told to clip the flowers ourselves, put them in provided vases, and pick a table to put them on. Then at the end of the day, the only thing the bride said to me ALL DAY was to pressure me into taking a centerpiece home. Except we weren't going home--we were staying with my future in-laws.

    Honestly? They could have absolutely afforded to pay for the flowers themselves. Or just not had centerpieces. I was so pissed.

    @lwoehlk YUP. We had to stand around, while our significant others were actually at the ceremony watching their brother get married. The bride and groom intentionally told people that the wedding started later (even though most people showed up in time for the ceremony) because they wanted my partner's grandparents to miss the ceremony. Really. Because the bride thought the ceremony area would be too small for grandma's wheelchair. UGH. What a disaster.

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  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD
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    banana468 said:
    I still don't get how it's "bad" to not allow  the nursing child.   Several moms deal with this for work....

    Anyway, the worst one I went to was bad at the beginning:
    -Pastor started the ceremony by saying, "In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve.   NOT Adam and STEVE."
    -Later in the ceremony, same pastor said that the ring was a sign that the bride was the groom's most valuable possession.    Somehow the groom wasn't owned by the bride though.
    -Later on at the reception, they had a cash bar and their entertainment was a dude on a keyboard playing classics like Girl From Ipanema.

    Another not so fun wedding was when DH was a GM:
    -Head table that split the two of us.    At least they had the courtesy to seat me with mutual friends though.
    -Cash bar for ALL beverages except the wine pour with the meal.   My Diet Coke was 3 bucks! 
    -The above didn't apply to the wedding party who had free drinks for the entire time.  


    Awkward shit pastors say:

    I was once at a wedding where the pastor kept making analogies that marriage is like slavery, but its totes okay cause slavery in the bible wasn't bad!

    And a different wedding had the Pastor use the story of Jacob and Rachel,.......... the groom had also dated the brides sister before. It was awkward. It really made it look like the bride was "settling:"

    The slavery wedding had a cocktail reception, there wasn't enough food. Not an etiquette issue so much as lack of planning. I haven't really been to a bad wedding.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs
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    ElcaB said:
    I haven't been to any utterly horrible weddings, but I do recall one wedding I attended where there was no DJ, just an iPod. This wouldn't normally bother me, except that the iPod wasn't even set to a playlist. It was playing all these weird slow songs and songs about break ups and stuff, so it was really awkward. This couple also had a kissing jar. Ew. 

    At another wedding, the B&G did the shoe-in-the-air game. Lameness. 
    What is wrong with the shoe game?  I've actually never been to a wedding that did this, but our DJ suggested it.  It's not an etiquette issue, you just don't like it? I'd rather that than the stupid centerpiece games they do with the dollar.
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    [Deleted User]megpeterkc
  • WonderRedWonderRed
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    edited September 2013
    My brother had his wedding at his church last summer followed by a reception in the gym.  There was a long, painful gap with no food, drinks, or music while they took pictures.  About a hour into things the handful of children who were there were running and playing at the end where there was nothing set up. You know, in a gym.   The church pastor came in with a bullhorn and screamed at the parents of the children to get them under control and went on to say that if the children were heard any further and not just seen, the family would be asked to leave.  My brother and SIL had nothing to do with it but everyone there was pretty much OMFG!!!
    mrsfinni
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet
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    chibiyui said:
    banana468 said:
    I still don't get how it's "bad" to not allow  the nursing child.   Several moms deal with this for work....

    Anyway, the worst one I went to was bad at the beginning:
    -Pastor started the ceremony by saying, "In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve.   NOT Adam and STEVE."
    -Later in the ceremony, same pastor said that the ring was a sign that the bride was the groom's most valuable possession.    Somehow the groom wasn't owned by the bride though.
    -Later on at the reception, they had a cash bar and their entertainment was a dude on a keyboard playing classics like Girl From Ipanema.

    Another not so fun wedding was when DH was a GM:
    -Head table that split the two of us.    At least they had the courtesy to seat me with mutual friends though.
    -Cash bar for ALL beverages except the wine pour with the meal.   My Diet Coke was 3 bucks! 
    -The above didn't apply to the wedding party who had free drinks for the entire time.  


    Awkward shit pastors say:

    I was once at a wedding where the pastor kept making analogies that marriage is like slavery, but its totes okay cause slavery in the bible wasn't bad!

    And a different wedding had the Pastor use the story of Jacob and Rachel,.......... the groom had also dated the brides sister before. It was awkward. It really made it look like the bride was "settling:"

    The slavery wedding had a cocktail reception, there wasn't enough food. Not an etiquette issue so much as lack of planning. I haven't really been to a bad wedding.
    chibiyui please explain.

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    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • chibiyui said:
    banana468 said:
    I still don't get how it's "bad" to not allow  the nursing child.   Several moms deal with this for work....

    Anyway, the worst one I went to was bad at the beginning:
    -Pastor started the ceremony by saying, "In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve.   NOT Adam and STEVE."
    -Later in the ceremony, same pastor said that the ring was a sign that the bride was the groom's most valuable possession.    Somehow the groom wasn't owned by the bride though.
    -Later on at the reception, they had a cash bar and their entertainment was a dude on a keyboard playing classics like Girl From Ipanema.

    Another not so fun wedding was when DH was a GM:
    -Head table that split the two of us.    At least they had the courtesy to seat me with mutual friends though.
    -Cash bar for ALL beverages except the wine pour with the meal.   My Diet Coke was 3 bucks! 
    -The above didn't apply to the wedding party who had free drinks for the entire time.  


    Awkward shit pastors say:

    I was once at a wedding where the pastor kept making analogies that marriage is like slavery, but its totes okay cause slavery in the bible wasn't bad!

    And a different wedding had the Pastor use the story of Jacob and Rachel,.......... the groom had also dated the brides sister before. It was awkward. It really made it look like the bride was "settling:"

    The slavery wedding had a cocktail reception, there wasn't enough food. Not an etiquette issue so much as lack of planning. I haven't really been to a bad wedding.
    More awkward pastor shit:

    I was at my friends wedding when the pastor says "I'm so proud of this couple for not SHACKING up before they were married."  He really emphasized the word shacking and it was very comical to me because:
    1. The way he said it
    2. The very old, conservative pastor using that reference
    3. While the couple didn't technically live together, he was staying at her place all the time and pretty much living together.

    I almost burst out laughing because it caught be off guard.  Thankfully I caught myself.
    Not a bad etiquette example, but the previous post reminded me of this story.

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  • I was invited to a wedding, alone. I had a serious boyfriend, but we had not beene dating when the guest list was probably made, so I tried not to be offended, and we weren't super close, so I didn't ask to bring him. The ceremony was near my house, the black tie reception about an hour away.
    I RSVPed yes. I went to the ceremony, where I knew no one, and another guest told me the reception wasn't for 6 more hours (the invites said reception to follow) and was really just for couples. I already had a headache, so I just went home and skipped the reception. So I was a jerk here too, for being a no show. Totally admit it. But no thanks.

    Otherwise every other wedding has been lovely. There was one where it was 110 degrees and we were outside and miserable...but that was only sort of the B&G's fault, for choosing an outdoor reception site in July. The food and wine was delish. We were just miserable with the heat...cake was melting...pregnant guests had to leave early...etc.
  • I've got 2 weddings that stand out in my mind:

    #1: 
    - Gap for photos where nothing was hosted. 
    - Cold buffet dinner with no seconds where tables were called up excruciatingly slow and there was very little left by the time my table was called. 
    - Cash bar 
    - Not enough cake for everyone when it was served
    - Dollar dance
    - FI and I were so hungry by the end of the night we went to McDonald's and it tasted like a 5 star meal

    #2
    - Massive snowstorm hit and we still made our way into the city to go
    - MOB looked at us when we arrived all bundled up (after trekking through 1-2 ft deep snowdrifts) and asked why we weren't dressed properly for a wedding (we had changes of shoes, etc., in our bags)
    - MOB came up to us again and said, "Thanks for coming, fuck everyone who isn't here." (Umm, there is an awful, raging, snowstorm outside, cut people some slack)
    - Cash bar for everyone except BP and immediate families.
    - Our coats were "misplaced" then miraculously found with empty pockets.
    - MOH was wasted and gave a profanity-laced speech and then forgot she already gave her speech and gave it again.
    - 7pm wedding with no dinner and not enough seats for everyone.
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  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD
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    @Dreamergirl8812

    Oh boy, so long story short, Jacob is running along one day, sees Rachel with some sheep, falls in love with her. Works for her father for seven years on the promise he will marry Rachel, Wedding happens and the father switches Rachel for her older sister Leah, makes sure Jacob is drunk and doesn't realize it till the next morning. So Jacob is married to Leah. The father agrees to let Jacob marry Rachel if he works for him for like, another 7 years. Jacob finally gets to marry Rachel, and Rachel and Leah procede to see who can birth the most babies to be the best wife. 

    It's......not what I would consider an appropriate wedding sermon, esp. if the groom has dated the brides sister. Particularly if you're one of those "homosexuality is a sin" kinda churches. 

    That said, as far as I know, the couple is super happy together, so actual "settling" It was just a quick engagement and caught some of us by surprise. The sermon was just awkward.
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  • banana468 said:
    I've fully enjoy each and every wedding I've been to. They may not have been my style but seeing the couples happy make me happy and made any details irrelevant after the fact. 
    There's no amount of glowing bride that makes me feel better about a pastor who thinks a woman can be a possession.
    My brother's pastor was all about this crap.  I wanted to walk out, it was so off putting. Our whole family, even my ridiculously conservative mother,  was dumbfounded because my brother doesn't feel that way at all and SIL is has three degrees and a very successful career.   For the life of me I still don't understand.  I don't think he ever actually talked to the pastor before the wedding ceremony.
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  • The worst wedding I have ever been too would have to have been my dad's second wedding. Of course, it didn't help that my sisters and I don't like my stepmom and weren't happy with the wedding to begin with, but then the wedding itself sucked.

    First of all, it was on a Thursday. The bride wanted a late December wedding, but the last weekend of December was Christmas day, so she chose to have it on a Thursday instead.

    Second, it was freezing. Probably around 40 degrees. Which for someone in Phx, AZ it means that you feel like you're going to turn into an icicle. When the guests arrived at the venue, they were made to wait outside. In the cold. And of course, the ceremony began late because the bride was running behind and ended up wanting to take more pictures than originally planned. DS1 was four months old at the time, and FI had to skip the ceremony and wait inside with our son because it was way too cold for him to be out there for so long.

    Cocktail hour was outside as well, with no drinks or appetizers. But at least there were heaters that everyone got to snuggle around.

    The food was quite good, so no complaints there. However, there was a cash bar. At least soda was free.
    There was a head table, and while most of the bridal party got to sit with their SOs, one did not. One wife was excluded from the head table where her husband, a GM, sat. (We later found out that this GM had been sleeping with one of the BMs for months at that point, and the wife had no clue).
    And it's not against etiquette, but there were way too many "dances". At least the first half hour - forty five minutes there was special dance after special dance. It's just annoying.

    And then came the toasts. The bride's father gave a creepy speech about how she pursued the groom (all about photo of him on her desk and visualizing how one day she would have him). At the end of the speech he addressed the groom (my dad) and complimented him on trading up families. Yup, trading up families.

    The bride's brother caught the garter, and proceeded to wear it on his own thigh for the rest of the evening. Just awkward.

    Just an overall unpleasant evening.
    mrsfinni
  • The worst acctual wedding etticuite mstake was at my sister's wedding.  I was a BM and the guythat I had been dating for four years wasn't invited to the wedding.  He was ticked and it should have bothered me more then it did.  It ended up being one of the nails in the coffin of that relationship.  It ended up working out, but I would not recommend any one else take the risk.

    We had a close call on what could have been a disaster.  One of DH's childhood friend's got engaged just before we did.  DH's parents are still good friends with the friend's parents and found out through them that the Bride's family had a "no ring, no bring" rule,  and they were asking around for the guest list count just before we got engaged.  His parents knowing DH had gotten a ring but not knowing when he would proposed, ended up intentionally delaying getting back after we got engaged. It makes me sad to think that if my DH had proposed a month later that I probably would have gone to that wedding.
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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North
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    My worst was outdoors in Oct, about 6 degrees C.  All guests were in winter coats.  Us bridal party bought ourselves shawls to stay warm.  The ceremony was nice, but photos after took forever, and I was freezing by the point.  Cocktail hour was outdoors and we had no transportation to the reception.  I had to phone DH to come back and get me and another girl.  I sat in the car for 10 min with a heated seat and the heater on full blast before I stopped shivering.  I think I was actually hypothermic.  

    Invites were via e-mail, and only to me.  I had to ask if DH was invited (he was, but she didn't have his e-mail address).  The venue date then changed, but no new e-mail was sent out with the info until a couple of days before.  Invites said no gifts please.

    Reception was cold too, since the door was left open.  Cash bar (I received tickets as a WP member, so I didn't pay), and it was staffed all night by 2 other couple's friends.  The Groom had forgotten to confirm the staff for the reception, so there was no one to clean up dishes.  Guests therefore cleaned up their own tables of dinner plates and garbage.  

    B and G then did their "speech" which was a slideshow about where they live that they just ad-libbed, for about 10 minutes.  We were all then asked to help cleanup at the end of the reception by grabbing black garbage bags to throw out plastic cups and such.  

    I finally received a thank you card about 8 months after the wedding.  No mention of the cash we gave, so I'm not sure if she even received our card.  

    This girl is my best friend and I love her to death. I've never said a word to her and never will.  I know she didn't do all of this to be rude.  She honestly had no idea how this would come across to people because she would be so willing to jump in and help out.  But I was pretty miserable that night, and DH was even a little offended, which is near impossible to do.  It's hard to be that miserable when I wanted to celebrate and enjoy such a happy time for her.   
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