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Etiquette

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

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Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • Ok, why does everyone move on sept 1st???

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    lwoehlk said:
    Ok, why does everyone move on sept 1st???
    I've been meaning to ask that to. Does every school/university start on the exact same day or something?



    Anniversary
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    kitty8403
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I live in Boston too, and it's just when the majority of the leases throughout the city start.  Also, most of the Boston area colleges have their move in day that weekend as well. Why it's like that, I don't know. But I've been lucky and never had to move on September 1st even though my leases have always started then, and I've lived here 10 years. (1 year I moved in August 27, another year I moved in a few months early because the girl I was replacing moved out early, and my current place (been here 4 years) I moved in August 1).
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  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Yep, like @laurynm84 said.

    We have an incredibly huge student population, so September 1 leases are very, very common. So you've got tons of people moving on August 31/September 1 from apartment to apartment (and people moving into dorms at the same time). It's absurd, especially in some neighborhoods of the city (especially Allston and Brighton--lots of Boston University and Boston College students).
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2013


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    WOW! cash bars REALLY show you who how much you mean to your family/ friends...anyway the worst wedding would be one that starts late and there wasn't an emergency...I guess I am just glad they thought enough of me to want me to share their day. (call me sentimental)
    Wow, you still don't get it, do you?

    Yes, even your nearest and dearest friends are going to be very disappointed and upset with you if you don't host them properly at an event that is actually in their honor, especially after they spent time and money to attend your wedding ceremony, the event that is in your honor.

    And this thread proves it.  Your friends and family will most likely be too polite and classy to ever tell you to your face that they were disappointed with you, but obviously it makes a lasting impression, more so than what dress you wore or what your centerpieces looked like.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    phira said:
    Yep, like @laurynm84 said.

    We have an incredibly huge student population, so September 1 leases are very, very common. So you've got tons of people moving on August 31/September 1 from apartment to apartment (and people moving into dorms at the same time). It's absurd, especially in some neighborhoods of the city (especially Allston and Brighton--lots of Boston University and Boston College students).
    No wonder you are all Cranky Yankees, lol!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 The Witch City member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    phira said:
    Yep, like @laurynm84 said.

    We have an incredibly huge student population, so September 1 leases are very, very common. So you've got tons of people moving on August 31/September 1 from apartment to apartment (and people moving into dorms at the same time). It's absurd, especially in some neighborhoods of the city (especially Allston and Brighton--lots of Boston University and Boston College students).
    No wonder you are all Cranky Yankees, lol!
    We're not cranky - just reserved ;)

     

    PrettyGirlLostcasey8784Kerigirl9missxasia
  • KingQueenS14KingQueenS14 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited October 2013
    WOW! cash bars REALLY show you who how much you mean to your family/ friends...anyway the worst wedding would be one that starts late and there wasn't an emergency...I guess I am just glad they thought enough of me to want me to share their day. (call me sentimental)
    Wow, you still don't get it, do you?

    Yes, even your nearest and dearest friends are going to be very disappointed and upset with you if you don't host them properly at an event that is actually in their honor, especially after they spent time and money to attend your wedding ceremony, the event that is in your honor.

    And this thread proves it.  Your friends and family will most likely be too polite and classy to ever tell you to your face that they were disappointed with you, but obviously it makes a lasting impression, more so than what dress you wore or what your centerpieces looked like.

    Actually, everyone is pretty upset about my black dress. People are different, for my circle other things matter, cash bar is not one of them. Talking behind someone's back has never been "classy" or "polite", idk but that is again, my circle it may be acceptable in yours. ALL of my nearest and dearest friends that are married had cash bars, that's what WE do. What is acceptable for you and yours is you and yours... but I do remember when wearing white after Labor was frowned upon, or mixing your metal was tacky and combining black and brown was so "not acceptable"
    ruchie81chloe97
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer





    WOW! cash bars REALLY show you who how much you mean to your family/ friends...anyway the worst wedding would be one that starts late and there wasn't an emergency...I guess I am just glad they thought enough of me to want me to share their day. (call me sentimental)

    Wow, you still don't get it, do you?

    Yes, even your nearest and dearest friends are going to be very disappointed and upset with you if you don't host them properly at an event that is actually in their honor, especially after they spent time and money to attend your wedding ceremony, the event that is in your honor.

    And this thread proves it.  Your friends and family will most likely be too polite and classy to ever tell you to your face that they were disappointed with you, but obviously it makes a lasting impression, more so than what dress you wore or what your centerpieces looked like.


    Actually, everyone is pretty upset about my black dress. People are different, for my circle other things matter, cash bar is not one of them. Talking behind someone's back has never been "classy" or "polite", idk but that is again, my circle it may be acceptable in yours. ALL of my nearest and dearest friends that are married had cash bars, that's what WE do. What is acceptable for you and yours is you and yours... but I do remember when wearing white after Labor was frowned upon, or mixing your metal was tacky and combining black and brown was so "not acceptable"


    I agree trashing ppl behind their back is rude. But there's a difference between gossiping behind someone's back, and thinking that a cash bar is rude, or telling someone you were disappointed the reception had a cash bar when asked how the wedding was.

    Also, just because something is common practice in your social circle does not mean that everyone actually accepts it, nor does it make it ok if it's an etiquette faux pas. People may continue the pattern because they just don't know any better, because everyone around them does it that way.

    And that's kind of the point of these boards, to help educate people. You can plan and execute your wedding however you like, including having a cash bar. But rather than people trying to rationalize their cash bar is ok, it would be better if they just accepted the fact that it is considered rude, and own their choose to have it, rude or no.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    [Deleted User]
  • I haven't really been to any bad weddings but I went to one wedding out of state that had a few moments of bad etiquette.  We got into town the night before, and while we were checking into the hotel, were invited to come to the RD  even though we weren't in the wedding party, which was nice of them we thought.  Turns out, the parents house was another hour drive from our hotel, which we weren't informed, until we were halfway there and thought maybe we hadn't followed the directions right and called to check.  Then, while at the RD the brides mom asked us if we "wouldn't mind" coming to the wedding site early in the morning to help set up. It definitely put my friends and I on the spot, and we didn't feel right saying no since they were feeding us, but after having to add 2 hours of driving to an already 6 hour drive that day, none of us really wanted to get up early to be their workhorses.  So we ended up getting back to the hotel late that night after the dinner, and got up early to be at the wedding site at 7am like they asked.  Turns out that the ceremony site was 40 mins from the hotel we were at (which is where they'd reserved a block), which they had informed us as being "close" in the written directions included with our invitations.
    So we got there to help, then had to drive the 30 mins back to the hotel, kill about an hour, get changed and then drive back for the ceremony.  We had intended on spending the morning at the hotel pool, but instead we all took naps before changing since we were already exhausted.  This is middle of summer in Florida by the way.  It was hot as hell setting up tables and moving chairs even that early in the morning.  

    Once we got to the ceremony, we found out that they only had enough chairs for the parents and elderly (we noticed their weren't many chairs when we were setting up, we just assumed that the venue was in the process of setting them up, since we were just there to help set up for the reception.  Nope) So then we had to stand during the ceremony, which thankfully was short, but it was ridiculously hot.  

    Luckily they hosted us properly at the reception.  But I felt used and definitely inconvenienced by all the driving we had to do once we got there, considering we already made a long drive to be there.  I wish they had skipped inviting everyone outside of the WP to the RD and instead spent  that money on chairs for the ceremony. 

    We are still friends (not close though) and I've never mentioned it to her, but I do still judge.  
  • We went to a terrible wedding in April of this year!

    It was someone I didn't know by DH did and wanted to go.  It started out like this:  received the invite with an adorable poem about their money tree...  I wanted to buy them a toaster but was told that was not appropriate.  We went to the wedding which was at a community centre, ceremony was fine, there was a gap which didn't bother me much.  The reception began with their wedding' partner's SOs performing duties such as grating cheese for the salad etc.  There was then a buffet which contained hot dogs potato salad and other items which clearly came from Costco (and were not hot).  Now I'm not saying I don't like hot dogs for say a Saturday afternoon BBQ or better yet a softball game, however when you are pregnant there are things that you are not supposed to eat including hot dogs.  Also when you are pregnant skipping meals such as dinner can make you super nauseous.  reception was ok, the MC suggested that we take our paper plates after we ate the food and put them in the garbage, cleaned our tables etc.  DH didn't have any cash and used my cash to purchase drinks at the cash bar. 

    Anyways what got me on this site was we gave a nice cheque, which was cashed promptly.... just received a Thank you "card" it has a picture of the lovely couple and a typed on message (clearly typed on by whoever generated the cards) the card is no even signed....  I'm sorry but really you couldn't hand write your f-ing name?

    So in order of what's pissed me off the most:
    1. The card - tacky
    2. Food at the reception (yet I get that you are on a budget BUT at the same time pregnant ladies cannot eat hot dogs, nor can vegetarians)
    3. Money tree


    on a side note DH's cousin invited us (well his whole family) to a wedding, changed the location (by 1000s of miles) about 6 months before the wedding after requesting a show of hands of who would go (about a year in advance), uninvited everyone 2ish months before, got married (posted pictures of the wedding on facebook where there were clearly 30-40 guests so not just parents as the unvitation had indicated), then had a small gathering for family the week after (which I don't find too rude except for the invite/unvite issue).  We didn't go to the gathering so I'm not sure if it was a pot luck or what it was...
  • I have some.

    1. Co-worker/friend decided on a Monday that she and her FI were to get married that Saturday. I spent the entire week driving her around town to the florist, to look at cakes, to get her a dress ($80 used, and I bought it, she paid me back). The wedding was at a "church" (house of worship in an old commercial strip mall) which I was in charge of arranging the pews, and setting up the cd player to play the song for her to walk down the aisle to, (of which my FI and I edited for her and burnt to CD), and was her overall day of coordinator. She decided that the cakes at the grocery store were too much ($300 and 3 weeks notice) so I offered to make her a wedding cake as a gift (ended up costing me about $170). She was nice enough to ask her florist to make a thank you bouquet for me to have for all the help I did for her wedding. During the ceremony, they forgot the rings at home and sent my FI across town to get the rings and he made it back just in time for the exchange. The reception was at a buffet restaurant, everybody paid for their own food, but ate cake that I provided. There were no written invitations, only word of mouth, and no thank you cards. After the reception, I baby sat 3 of her 4 kids overnight so she could have a "honeymoon night". 

    2. My sister had a shotgun wedding at a JOP. Invites were sent on facebook. We took informal family and friend pictures of her and her FI in the courthouse hallway as we waited for the ceremony start time to get called. She asked her best friend to be her witness but the dumb girl went to the wrong county courthouse so then I was replacement witness and got to sign the marriage certificate and stand beside my sister at her wedding (which I'll admit, I was extremely upset to be 2nd best). My aunt let our 2 year old cousin scream and run in circles during the entire ceremony so that she could have her cell phone out to take pictures, instead of excusing herself and chilling out in the hallway til the kid was calm. There was not a reception really, it was more of a celebration dinner. I made cake. We ate at Applebee's buy your own dinner and my parents insisted that my sister and her new hubby were not going to pay for their own meals so they paid for them. (I don't know how my parents weren't embarrassed but at that point I hadn't been speaking to my mother for over a year). People brought gifts and never received thank you cards (myself included). 

    3. My brother's wedding wasn't so bad except I heard about it the Wednesday before the Saturday wedding. Heard about it on facebook. I sent a message to my dad that said, "Oh, I saw that Half-Brother is getting married, congrats to him". He acted like I was supposed to have received an invite and gave me the details, insisted that FI and I show up and said I would get my invite at the wedding.  There was a 3-4 hour gap after a almost 2 hour ceremony. Everything in the ceremony was translated in English and Spanish so it really dragged and they had all kinds of patrons and dedications and godfathers and godmothers of all kinds of things. (I guess this is traditional Catholic ceremony). I finally received my invite at the reception, from some crackwhore that my dad doesn't even call his girlfriend. FI and I had some food and said hi to all my aunts and uncles to be polite, but weren't very hungry since we ate dinner during the gap. I didn't stay for dancing, cake or anything. I left before the bridal party was introduced and thank God I did, because I heard there were punches thrown later that evening.
  • I've needed a place to vent about this wedding for a while now.  I hope the bride doesn't read this because I'm sure she is a lovely person, but my mind boggles at this wedding!

    We were invited to the wedding of my FI's friend.  The groom is a great friend to my FI, so FI was very excited to attend the wedding.  I was excited as well! 

    The part that boggles my mind is that about 2 weeks before the wedding, the groom called my FI to ask if we could pick up their cake and 100 cupcakes before the wedding and drive them to the venue.  We live about 1 hour from the venue, but the cake place is about 40 minutes from our house in the other direction.  And our car had bad airconditioning at the time.  FI told the groom the situation and asked if anyone else could pick up the cake for them, but said if they were really in a bind, we would help them out.  A lot of guests were traveling to the wedding from the town where the bakery was, so we hoped something would work out.  A week later, it was determined that we were the only ones who "they trusted" to pick up the cake.  Fine, we rented a car with good airconditioning, drove the extra 1 hour 30 minutes and got the cake for them and brought it to the venue.  Felt good about the fact we were helping out friends.

    The wedding was supposed to be outside, but was changed to inside at the last minute.  That meant the whole wedding was going to be in the same room.  Totally fine.  However, the wedding started about 30-45 minutes late and we just SAT at our seats with no idea what was happening for about an hour (most people were there early).  After the ceremony was over, we sat in our seats for another hour while everyone took pictures.  SO MUCH SITTING.  In a room without windows on a beautiful summer day.  Dinner was a delicious buffet.  No complaints there.

    It was a cash bar, even cash for soda.  It was obvious that the bride spent a lot of time/money on the DIY details; I would have loved to skip those for a free diet coke.

    They did a DIY DJ set up.  No one danced, and the bride spent most of her time behind the laptop picking the next song.  It was so sad.  I tried to get my FI to offer to take over, but it just felt awkward and he didn't feel comfortable doing so.

    FI and I gave a nice monetary gift.  Even heard from the groom's brother that the groom was mad that not everyone gave gifts, but thought our gift was very generous.  We didn't give a gift because we felt like we had to, and only gave what we could afford, but that just makes us sure that the groom saw the gift we gave and it wasn't lost or stolen.

    After all that, renting a car to pick up a cake 1.5 hours out of the way and giving a nice gift, we didn't get a thank you note.  Not even a table visit by the bride during the wedding.  How hard is it to scribble some words on a piece of paper for the people who made sure you had cake for your guests?  The wedding was in June and the bride is a teacher.  Now that the school year has started up again, I think the thank you card ship has sailed for us.  So disappointing.

  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    SarahA519 said:

    I've needed a place to vent about this wedding for a while now.  I hope the bride doesn't read this because I'm sure she is a lovely person, but my mind boggles at this wedding!

    We were invited to the wedding of my FI's friend.  The groom is a great friend to my FI, so FI was very excited to attend the wedding.  I was excited as well! 

    The part that boggles my mind is that about 2 weeks before the wedding, the groom called my FI to ask if we could pick up their cake and 100 cupcakes before the wedding and drive them to the venue.  We live about 1 hour from the venue, but the cake place is about 40 minutes from our house in the other direction.  And our car had bad airconditioning at the time.  FI told the groom the situation and asked if anyone else could pick up the cake for them, but said if they were really in a bind, we would help them out.  A lot of guests were traveling to the wedding from the town where the bakery was, so we hoped something would work out.  A week later, it was determined that we were the only ones who "they trusted" to pick up the cake.  Fine, we rented a car with good airconditioning, drove the extra 1 hour 30 minutes and got the cake for them and brought it to the venue.  Felt good about the fact we were helping out friends.

    The wedding was supposed to be outside, but was changed to inside at the last minute.  That meant the whole wedding was going to be in the same room.  Totally fine.  However, the wedding started about 30-45 minutes late and we just SAT at our seats with no idea what was happening for about an hour (most people were there early).  After the ceremony was over, we sat in our seats for another hour while everyone took pictures.  SO MUCH SITTING.  In a room without windows on a beautiful summer day.  Dinner was a delicious buffet.  No complaints there.

    It was a cash bar, even cash for soda.  It was obvious that the bride spent a lot of time/money on the DIY details; I would have loved to skip those for a free diet coke.

    They did a DIY DJ set up.  No one danced, and the bride spent most of her time behind the laptop picking the next song.  It was so sad.  I tried to get my FI to offer to take over, but it just felt awkward and he didn't feel comfortable doing so.

    FI and I gave a nice monetary gift.  Even heard from the groom's brother that the groom was mad that not everyone gave gifts, but thought our gift was very generous.  We didn't give a gift because we felt like we had to, and only gave what we could afford, but that just makes us sure that the groom saw the gift we gave and it wasn't lost or stolen.

    After all that, renting a car to pick up a cake 1.5 hours out of the way and giving a nice gift, we didn't get a thank you note.  Not even a table visit by the bride during the wedding.  How hard is it to scribble some words on a piece of paper for the people who made sure you had cake for your guests?  The wedding was in June and the bride is a teacher.  Now that the school year has started up again, I think the thank you card ship has sailed for us.  So disappointing.

    Ugh, that is so awful. I wonder why the bakery wouldn't deliver the cake and cupcakes? 

    PrettyGirlLost
  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2013
    @SarahA519   Wow, it was bad enough but no thank you note, especially after the lengths you went to to help them out is just insulting.  Even the bridezilla I wrote about awhile back sent a very thoughtful and sweet thank you note.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Went to a wedding earlier this year where they had an insert in the invite asking for cash.  Ugh.  The cutesy rhyming message they used did not change that fact.  Huge gap, at least we could go back to the hotel and watch tv.  Bride and groom didn't even say hello to us and no thank you note for the check - although it was cashed promptly.

    Still annoyed about the couple who asked for money and then never sent a thank you note once they got it.  Pure laziness, and will impact if I decide get them gifts in the future.
    grumbledore
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm guessing the bride and groom thought the transfer/set-up fee for the cake was too much.

    My dropped open at "rented a car."  Wow, you guys are really good friends!

    grumbledorekitty8403
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm guessing the bride and groom thought the transfer/set-up fee for the cake was too much.

    My dropped open at "rented a car."  Wow, you guys are really good friends!
    This was my thinking.  I had my cake delivered because the extra $20 delivery fee saved my peace of mind. 

    LakeR2014


  • I'm guessing the bride and groom thought the transfer/set-up fee for the cake was too much.

    My dropped open at "rented a car."  Wow, you guys are really good friends!

    This was my thinking.  I had my cake delivered because the extra $20 delivery fee saved my peace of mind. 


    I think ours was like $30 since it was close but there was no way in hell I would have let anyone else try to transport and set up a tiered wedding cake. Money well spent. My mouth dropped when unread they rented a car too. F that! You are a better friend than I!

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  • One of the many reasons I love my FI so much is that he is such a good friend. But even he agrees that we were taken advantage of!

    We always laugh at the part of the story when we brought the boxes of cupcakes into the venue and the woman who worked there waved her hand at us and rudely said "just set up the cakes over there." I am someone who will do anything to make someone happy and I just looked at her and said "we are guests. We have no idea what is going on" and then we put the boxes down and walked away to get the rest. Felt rude at the time, but now I don't feel bad at all. Thank you notes are important!!!!
    grumbledoreJeeGooDowster
  • kitty8403kitty8403 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    Didn't want to clutter another thread with the whole psycho story, so here ya go, girls!

    One of my best friends from high school. Second marriage. Her first one sucked, so I felt we really needed to show. In no particular order:

    PPD, sort of. They were already married & doing a "ceremony," but she was in a Che Guevara tee & booty shorts. He was shirtless.

    Their "celebration" was a three day event. I had to work. It took weeks to get any sort of time commitment for the "wedding part."

    Event was in the middle of nowhere, up a Forest Service road with no cell coverage, about 100 miles or so from home. Their site wasn't marked-- no ribbons or balloons or signs. We drove around back roads for about 30 minutes before finding it.

    They had a grand total of maybe 15 people, and she was loudly fuming that so few were there.

    We were not told if food would be there. It was, but it had already been served, or something. They dug a bunch of stuff back out for us. AWKWARD.

    Some random girl who could not read the SIMPLEST words aloud stumbled through 4-5 typewritten pages of ceremonial whatever.

    The bride & groom immediately proceeded to smoke a crapload of pot, smack dab in front of her super-conservative Christian parents, while HIS parents, who we didn't know, got in our faces and pestered us to light up while ranting about how we shouldn't be judgmental, somebody there had a green card (yeah, we hadnt said anything, other than "no, thank you.")

    We left, mortified, and had no sooner hit the highway than we got a flat. Couldn't call up, of course, so had to wait for a stranger to help us get it off, ride a donut some 30 miles, and crash at a friend's house till it could be fixed the next day. Did I mention I was in wedges & girly clothes? Yeah. Helloooo, blisters. Awesome.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Oh yes. I don't believe we ever got a thank you note either. I don't count text messages.
    grumbledore
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    One more faux pas I left out of my earlier post that stands out for me:

    At the wedding of the same cousin I referenced before, during the recessional, his mother came back up the aisle talking on her cell phone.  I thought it was the tackiest thing I'd ever witnessed at a wedding-still do.
  • One of my best friends who I love dearly had one of the worst weddings I have ever been to. I have posted about this on a few other threads in the past, but it was not a nice experience, and it was actually FI's first wedding experience. It left him completely hating weddings until more recently when some of our other friends got married and had nicer weddings.

    1. The ceremony and reception were both outside in the end of October. They didn't tell anyone that it would be outside, so everyone was freezing.

    2. There was no parking at the venue. You had to park at a lot and take a shuttle to the venue. Except the shuttle only ran before the ceremony and at the end of the reception, so you had to stay until 11PM no matter what.

    3. There were not enough chairs for everyone to sit down at the ceremony or the reception.

    4. They had no food, only passed apps, which were tiny and not very filling. The wedding was from 5PM-11PM, so right during dinner time.

    5. In addition to not serving real food, they had a limited bar.  I don't typically have a problem with this, as I am usually fine with whatever you give me. HOWEVER, they only served water and craft beers with extremely high alcohol content. I am not too much of a beer drinker, so I stuck to water, but when you're not feeding people, you need to not serve beverages with high alcohol content. People were trashed.

    6. There was no music. This I don't consider an etiquette issue as much as a lack of thought issue. So you're having people at your wedding for 6 hours with no way to leave, not enough chairs, and no food, and you're not even going to provide entertainment... not even an iPod or CD player. All everyone was doing was sitting (or standing) around talking about how hungry they were.

    7. They did cupcakes instead of cake... but didn't have enough cupcakes for all of their guests.

    8. This didn't bother me much, with all of the other stuff going on, but the favors were basically just little pieces of paper saying, "The bride and groom made a donation to PETA in your honor". I don't mind PETA, but they're a pretty controversial charity to assume others are okay with, and really, I don't mind just not getting a favor. I don't need you to donate for me to a charity. I donate enough myself. 

    grumbledorePrettyGirlLostVivandiere8
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers

    8. This didn't bother me much, with all of the other stuff going on, but the favors were basically just little pieces of paper saying, "The bride and groom made a donation to PETA in your honor". I don't mind PETA, but they're a pretty controversial charity to assume others are okay with, and really, I don't mind just not getting a favor. I don't need you to donate for me to a charity. I donate enough myself. 

    So, I don't have a problem with donations to charity instead of favors (since I don't really care about wedding favors at all), but you've pinpointed the biggest problem with donation-instead-of-favors. If you're dead-set on donating to charity, please make sure you select one that's as inoffensive to your guests as possible.

    I mean, my brother and ex-sister-in-law donated to Millions for Marriage, but just about every guest they had was in favor of marriage equality. So if you know that the vast majority of your guests would probably like or not mind the charity you selected, great. And there are plenty of organizations like animal shelters that are incredibly inoffensive.

    Organizations like PETA are extremely controversial. If you really want to donate to PETA and not a charity that's less controversial, then fine, but just ... don't have favors and don't tell me that you donated to PETA in my honor.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    PrettyGirlLostlauralee1723Vivandiere8
  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2013
    @Aurorajanette

    This is a bit off topic but how does the concept of giving a favor in the guests' honor work?

    Does it mean the couple sends a donation to the organization and sign the guests' name to it so the guest would get the credit or is it really just about the couple using the money they would have spent on your favor on a charity donation instead?

    Because if it's the first I would understand cause then the guest could claim it as a tax deduction and at least get the praise and thank you for the organization. But if it's the later and the couple just uses the favor money on the charity donation with no mention of the guest to the organization the donation when to that doesn't make sense the couple would just be better of simply ignoring favors and only making the donation. 
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  • @TerriHugg Usually it means the couple used the money that would have gone to favors towards the donation. Most couples will say in lieu of favors, the couple has decided to donate to so and so charity.
    Yes, this is what I have known it to be as well. In their case, they donated to the charity and claimed it was in our "honor". While I am all for giving to charity, I would have loved to maybe be able to sit down at the wedding instead.
    MGPPrettyGirlLostlauralee1723jendemeyer
  • @TerriHugg Usually it means the couple used the money that would have gone to favors towards the donation. Most couples will say in lieu of favors, the couple has decided to donate to so and so charity.
    Yes, this is what I have known it to be as well. In their case, they donated to the charity and claimed it was in our "honor". While I am all for giving to charity, I would have loved to maybe be able to sit down at the wedding instead.


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