• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Etiquette

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

1246720

Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • Ohh where do I begin?!  Not sure I could pick just one, so I won't!

    Wedding 1:  My friend insisted on getting married at a place she couldn't afford, so she inconvenienced everyone by scheduling her wedding on the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend and decided she wasn't inviting anyone's significant others.  She took a year to get thank you cards out and at each wedding we've attended together since she's publicly discussed how much better hers was.  She also had a honeymoon fund.

    Wedding 2:  My friend insisted on getting married at a place that couldn't accommodate her guest list, so once again, significant others were eliminated.  She also had a B-list, which was public knowledge.  There was one bartender for 200 people (pretty much all heavy drinkers), so inevitably there was a huge line at the bar all night...at least until they ran out of basically everything.  In lieu of a honeymoon fund, guests were informed that they could make contributions directly to their travel agent.

    Wedding 3:  If I had to pick a worst, it would be this one.  First, the invitation never made it to us.  Rather than resending, FI's friend just told us to go online and RSVP.  Although we never saw it, the invitation specified a start time an hour before the wedding was actually scheduled to start.  It also said "cocktail attire" on it.  The couple also never mentioned that the airport was over an hour from the hotel and venue, despite at least half of their guest list having to fly in.  They did not have anywhere to sit during the cocktail hour, and during dinner they had a head table which separated all members of the bridal party from their significant others.  The wedding was outdoors in the mountains at night, so by about an hour in everyone was freezing.  There was also a jar labeled "honeymoon fund" for people to throw cash into.  I also know of at least one person that was not allowed to bring a significant other because he didn't have one when they made their guest list eight months before.

    The only upside to all of this is that when my wedding comes around people will be in awe of what a great hostess I am!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    grumbledorePrettyGirlLostmrsfinni
  • I have a few weddings that have been pretty tame but still irk me.

    First one is my brother's wedding. Only the bride's friends and family were sent actual invites. It was a potluck wedding at a local park. Our dad spent the time before the ceremony and right after, cooking a pig for the dinner. Not the couple's fault but the bride's DD and her cousins walked in on two guests(my cousin and his gf), having sex in the bathroom. Never received a thank you, even though I spent the day before making good for the reception.

    Second one I was MOH/DOC/wedding planner, I fought with 2 BMs to NOT carry their beer up the aisle with them. At the rehearsal, as the officiant was going through the ceremony, the same 2 BMs, complained the ceremony was too long( it was a total of 15 mins) so the bride had them cut a poem out. At the wedding, those 2 BMs talked throughout the whole ceremony and were very loud. They had everything at the bar the bride worked at, ceremony and dinner in back, dancing in the bar, nothing hosted except for BP and we were given wristbands. Dollar dance, bride's sister tried fighting with me because I was MOH, and a BM had sex with one guy on the picnic table outside. I know that the BMs behavior isn't the bride or groom's fault but it did leave a bad taste in my mouth.

    Third one was for a friend of FH's. It was on a Friday night by Louisville, which is 7 hrs from us, the invite listed the time as 6pm CST time but was EST, since it was in an area that switches time zones vs changing their clocks. The groom's family is Orthodox Jewish, and had special meals, it was a buffet dinner, every but the corn and rolls had meat in it. No drinks were hosted, not even soda, and the wedding was in a vineyard. We got back to the hotel, and found out they were married a week or two earlier, so they could be married on the bride's father's day(tradition in her family), but it fell on a Jewish Holy Day(I think Passover) so the groom's family wouldn't come. The good was ice cream cake for dessert and I meet a few of FH's frat brothers.

    The last one, was another Frat brother of FH, I was invited as "guest" since, apparently the bride didn't believed FB, our roommate or even FH that I am a real person. I filled out the RSVP with FH and StephJean83 accepts and my escort card said "FH's guest". There a gap, so we went to a bar, grabbed a round and some food. We than get to the reception and the bride's aunt was monitoring everyone as they came in and yelled at you if you didn't have your escort card in hand, my FH had mine in the envelope. Still no thank you card, but I know they sent them as our roommate and other friends received them.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • How about ridiculous rehearsal dinners?  This was for one of FI's college friends, and FI was a GM.  They were gracious enough to invite all out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner, which was really nice.  This was a Southern Wedding.  There were EIGHT attendants on each side.  Well, at the rehearsal dinner, apparently every BM except the MOH planned to give a toast (MOH was saved for the reception the next night).  YOU GUYS.  THESE GIRLS HAD VISUAL AIDS.  The Bride was the last one in her group of friends to get married (she was 28) and EVERY SINGLE ONE of the BMs said the following during their toast: "we have just been prayin' for God to send (groom) to (bride) for so long!"  It was basically a pity party for the "poor" bride who had to wait until she was 28 to get married.  THE HORROR (sarcasm).  These toasts went on for TWO HOURS.  the rest of us poor, unmarried ladies felt just awesome about ourselves after that.

    The groom didn't bother telling anyone on his side about the Toast Parade, and his best man was speaking at the reception, so his other brother gave a toast.  All during the bridesmaid toasts and his brother's toast, the groom was looking over at the table of his college buddies as if to be like "ok when are you all going to do your thing?"  You can imagine that after all of the dances and songs and visual aids of the bridesmaid toasts, the guys felt pretty stupid about not preparing anything.  Also, we had been drinking for about 3 hours by the time the bridesmaids' toasts ended.  The least drunk groomsman got up and spoke for about 30 seconds and called it a day.  It was ROUGH.  i've never seen anything like it.

    the ceremony was the longest non-catholic church ceremony i've ever seen (over an hour).  It was hot in there, and the bridal party stood for the whole time...FI is a bit of a fainter, so we were nervous, but he pulled through.  There was a LOT of stuff in the ceremony that made me VERY uncomfortable - mostly about the man being the head of the house and the woman serving him, etc.  I found that completely insane.

    the reception was lovely, though they did unexpectedly close the bar after dinner (so at 9 for a reception that went until 11).  None of us would have known about it if one of the wives hadn't made friends with one of the wait staff, who clued her in.  there was a lot of drink hoarding at 8:55, and we never ran out, but it kind of caused people to be drunker than they would have been if they could have just drank at their own pace for the whole night.
  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2013
    The worst wedding I went to was one that my husband was a groomsmen in. The major faux pas in the wedding was that I didn't even get to sit with my husband because he was sitting at the head table with the rest of the party. 

    To make matters worse they didn't even know where to put me. When you walked in to the reception hall there were two people sitting by the door. You had to give them your name so they could tell you what table you were assigned to. So I told them my name only to find out I wasn't even on the list! it was actually kind of humiliating. Since my name wasn't on the list with a table, they put me at a table in the back for "extras". So I sat by myself with a bunch of other people I didn't know at the "extras' table. It made me feel like a secondhand guest or the outcast. It was clear they forgot about me or didn't even want me there. 

    To make matters worse, I didn't even get to spend anytime with my husband at all during the wedding because they had like no dancing. A majority of the time the dance floor was only opened to the wedding party as announced by the DJ. 


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • TerriHugg said:
    The worst wedding I went to was one that my husband was a groomsmen in. The major faux pas in the wedding was that I didn't even get to sit with my husband because he was sitting at the head table with the rest of the party. 

    To make matters worse they didn't even know where to put me. When you walked in to the reception hall there were two people sitting by the door. You had to give them your name so they could tell you what table you were assigned to. So I told them my name only to find out I wasn't even on the list! it was actually kind of humiliating. Since my name wasn't on the list with a table, they put me at a table in the back for "extras". So I sat by myself with a bunch of other people I didn't know at the "extras' table. It made me feel like a secondhand guest or the outcast. It was clear they forgot about me or didn't even want me there. 

    To make matters worse, I didn't even get to spend anytime with my husband at all during the wedding because they had like no dancing. A majority of the time the dance floor was only opened to the wedding party as announced by the DJ. 


    I never understand this - what fun is that for anyone?  I want my guests to be rocking out on the dance floor for as much of the night as possible - that's the point of throwing a great party!

    Note to lurkers:  No guest wants to sit and watch you dance all night - we want to have fun!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    PrettyGirlLostjendemeyer
  • Belle2188 said:
    Ohh where do I begin?!  Not sure I could pick just one, so I won't!

    Wedding 1:  My friend insisted on getting married at a place she couldn't afford, so she inconvenienced everyone by scheduling her wedding on the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend and decided she wasn't inviting anyone's significant others.  She took a year to get thank you cards out and at each wedding we've attended together since she's publicly discussed how much better hers was.  She also had a honeymoon fund.

    Wedding 2:  My friend insisted on getting married at a place that couldn't accommodate her guest list, so once again, significant others were eliminated.  She also had a B-list, which was public knowledge.  There was one bartender for 200 people (pretty much all heavy drinkers), so inevitably there was a huge line at the bar all night...at least until they ran out of basically everything.  In lieu of a honeymoon fund, guests were informed that they could make contributions directly to their travel agent.

    Wedding 3:  If I had to pick a worst, it would be this one.  First, the invitation never made it to us.  Rather than resending, FI's friend just told us to go online and RSVP.  Although we never saw it, the invitation specified a start time an hour before the wedding was actually scheduled to start.  It also said "cocktail attire" on it.  The couple also never mentioned that the airport was over an hour from the hotel and venue, despite at least half of their guest list having to fly in.  They did not have anywhere to sit during the cocktail hour, and during dinner they had a head table which separated all members of the bridal party from their significant others.  The wedding was outdoors in the mountains at night, so by about an hour in everyone was freezing.  There was also a jar labeled "honeymoon fund" for people to throw cash into.  I also know of at least one person that was not allowed to bring a significant other because he didn't have one when they made their guest list eight months before.

    The only upside to all of this is that when my wedding comes around people will be in awe of what a great hostess I am!
    Hi, I don't mean to derail but I have an honest question: is this against etiquette? We're planning our wedding on Labor Day Sunday next year. I know that there are arguments for and against holiday weekends, but it's a destination wedding, so we figured those who'll go the distance will come either way, and at least they'll have an extra day off for travel. Thoughts? TIA!
    image
    jendemeyer
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    @kelceya, depends on whether your VIPs generally have long-standing Labor Day plans. Around here, a lot of people take one last trip to the lake, but my VIPs would be available, just as an example.
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @kelceya Honestly, I don't see it as that much of a problem on its own. Your wedding isn't an obligation, so as long as VIPs (immediate family and the wedding party) are cool with the date, I don't see a problem.

    However, often, it CAN be a problem. For example, my future brother-in-law got married on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend last year. I have no idea why he and his wife picked that date, especially since they ended up completely changing the wedding plans from super casual to more traditional, and didn't push back the wedding date at all (they were engaged for only 4 months and changed the plans 3 months ahead of the date).

    The problem with having their wedding on Labor Day Sunday? My partner and I had just signed a lease and were moving the day before; his parents (the groom's parents) had already agreed to help us. Since the only way the bride and groom would involve them was to let them host a rehearsal dinner (and even then, my future mother- and father-in-law had to fight for it), we had to be done moving by a certain time so that we could all make the rehearsal dinner.

    They should have moved their date. September 1st is known as Allston Christmas in Boston, and it's the absolute WORST day of the year to be driving around. Everyone is moving, and it's hugely stressful. The fact that my partner and I didn't have a fight or break up during that weekend, with the amount of stress we were under (from the move and the wedding) is one of the reasons I was confident I wanted to marry him.

    To make everything worse, my partner was a groomsman, and his brother wouldn't give him a straight answer about what to wear. He decided on a button-down shirt and khakis ... but the morning of the wedding, he realized that his khakis were missing the button. Since we had just moved, and the move went SO BADLY we had to stay with his parents, he didn't have a second pair of pants to wear instead.

    tl;dr It's not a problem to have your wedding on a holiday weekend, but it would be nice if you could try to pick a date that won't severely inconvenience your immediate family and members of the wedding party.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    grumbledore
  • @kelceya i actually don't mind long weekend weddings if i have to travel, because it's great to have an extra day built in where i don't have to take off from work.  you just have to understand two things:

     

    #1 - some people will decline because they have long standing plans for that holiday weekend - as long as you clear the date with your VIPs, and they can all make it, it should be fine - surely you'd expect some No's for a destination wedding regardless of the date

     

    #2 - flights and hotels are often more expensive over holiday weekends than they are over other weekends.  so try to get your guests a deal - and get hotel room blocks WAY in advance to guarantee availability, especially if you're having the wedding in a popular tourist destination.  We went to Hawaii over Memorial Day last year, and the flights were HUNDREDS of dollars more expensive than they would have been for ANY other surrounding weekend.  Too bad we had already booked the time share in advance.  Sigh.

     

    We considered Memorial Day weekend for our wedding, but since 80% of people are coming in from out of town and would be flying, we decided for the following weekend so that they wouldn't have to deal with inflated flight prices.  Additionally, in Charlotte, there is a HUGE Nascar event over Memorial Day weekend, and we knew we'd have trouble getting a hotel room block as a result of it.

    MGP
  • Oh I forgot about one, I wasn't going to share, but I have been to a bad one. It was a PPD actually. Bride and Groom were married a year before because the husband was going to be deployed. I knew that, not sure if all the guests knew that. The invites were written as if it was a wedding ceremony and gift registry cards were included.

    The venue was a small community center, no problems with me. The ceremony was a short ceremony and basically was a fake wedding. It had the father walk the bride down the aisle, exchanging of rings, and pronouncing them man and wife. Also, there were not enough chairs and it was super hot. Everyone kinda just stood around. The couple was super happy/excited, so I was whatever about this and decided to be happy for them.

    We went inside to the cocktail hour/reception space. They had all kinds of passed appetizers that were just okay. The bridal party was already super drunk. They were in and out of the reception hall. Dinner was a buffet that was a bit cold and not very good. Potatoes were under cooked, meat overcooked and the veggies were bland.  Well the groom got so angry about the food quality that he went to the back and yelled at the cook (a family friend doing them a favor for a cheap price). Apparently the chef started to pack up his knives but the groom and his brother thought he was going to attack them so all of sudden the groomsmen are running to the back, the father was holding his son back and the bride ran off to the back crying. The chef left, obviously, but food was already out. 

    Well nobody had even gotten their food yet. An aunt said, well lets eat. Everyone got their food and tried to carry on and pretend like nothing happened. The brides sister was so embarrassed and kept apologizing to people and left early because she said it was an embarrassment to the family. The groom's family decided that they thought the bride's family was trashy and starting telling people about it. Most of the guests appeared to have a decent time because they got drunk and were dancing all night but the drama surely overtook the fun. 

    What a mess. I felt so bad for the families. Sadly the couple is not longer together either. 
  • kelceyakelceya member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited October 2013
    Thanks for the comments ladies :) we did check with our VIPs ahead of time. They're all cool with it, and the only Labor Day traditions I know of in my circle is my Mom's family's annual reunion, to which everyone travels across the country anyway. Hopefully it will work out as an advantage to all!

    Thanks again!

    ETA: the wedding is in a different country, so holiday weekend prices fortunately don't apply, and we've already set aside a hotel block.
    image
  • Cash bars are the worst!  Nothing tackier than a couple that cheaps out.  If you're having a reception you have to go all the way.  I'm not even a big drinker, I rarely have more than three glasses of wine, but if you're hosting a party for your beloved family and friends, you have to give them the best.
    grumbledoreMGPPrettyGirlLost
  • eileenrob said:
    Cash bars are the worst!  Nothing tackier than a couple that cheaps out.  If you're having a reception you have to go all the way.  I'm not even a big drinker, I rarely have more than three glasses of wine, but if you're hosting a party for your beloved family and friends, you have to give them the best.
    Special snowflakes - 3 glasses of wine = less than one bottle of wine.  Decent wine = less than $10/bottle.  Hosting your guests doesn't have to be expensive.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    MGPPrettyGirlLostpainterlt[Deleted User]
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2013
    phira said:

    They should have moved their date. September 1st is known as Allston Christmas in Boston, and it's the absolute WORST day of the year to be driving around. Everyone is moving, and it's hugely stressful. The fact that my partner and I didn't have a fight or break up during that weekend, with the amount of stress we were under (from the move and the wedding) is one of the reasons I was confident I wanted to marry him.

     
    It's also known as the "count the moving trucks that get stuck on Memorial Dr or Storrow Dr. day"  I especially enjoy those tweets.

    grumbledorecasey8784ashleyeptortoisebride
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @moemacWed30594  We're off Comm Ave and had to drive on one of the carriage roads at one point. About 10 minutes after we made it through that hot mess, there was an accident and no one could get through. Oh god I am never moving on Allston Christmas again.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    grumbledore
  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 The Witch City member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    @moemacwed30594 & @phira - I feel your pain.  I did the Boston move-in day 20 years ago on Comm Ave and it was insane.

    I still work in Back Bay and the general vibe around move in weekend is always interesting.

     

  • The worst weddings I've been to have been those of the friends closest to me which feels so awful to say!

    #1 (I was a Bridesmaid);
    --She had the bridal party up til the wee hours of the morning (like, after 2am) the night before the wedding finishing "DIY" projects. (Unfortunately for me, I had been up with her the night before--again the wee hours--helping with OTHER undone DIYs so I was in pretty rough shape at this point)
    --11:00am Catholic Ceremony and 6:00pm reception (so you can imagine how early the hair/makeup call was that morning after the DIY party the previous night)
    --Hosted gap for the bridal party only, including multiple stops around town for photo ops (ZERO downtime)
    --Full length, heavy dresses for a mid-July wedding in Central Florida
    --Bridal party "sequestered" during cocktail hour with limited food/beverage options. I tried to "sneak out" to get some sangria at the main cocktail reception and they had run out :(
    --Bad food and seated at a head table
    --I somehow ended up responsible for making sure the photographer could find all the people on the bride's "must have" photo list. NBD except this wedding was several hundred people and this pretty much took all night. There was zero socializing time which was sad b/c I knew several of the guests.
    --And of course I had to fly in to attend. The bride really did not understand why I was not bringing my (now) FH and actually had a few things to say about it. I told her WHY would I bring someone along (pay for another plane ticket, hotel for him since we were staying in the suite prior, etc) who knew no one else when the itinerary was going to be full. After the whole experience SO GLAD I made the decision that I did.

    #2 I'll have to type up later
  • On the subject of bad/ridiculous rehearsal dinners, I once went to one where the bride got her period during the rehearsal dinner and went to the bathroom to sob for an hour. After she got done crying she came back out, visibly upset and got totally wasted. She was horribly hung over during her wedding the next day and vomited 11 times during the reception. True story.
    Dreamergirl8812HaileyDancingbear
  • On the subject of bad/ridiculous rehearsal dinners, I once went to one where the bride got her period during the rehearsal dinner and went to the bathroom to sob for an hour. After she got done crying she came back out, visibly upset and got totally wasted. She was horribly hung over during her wedding the next day and vomited 11 times during the reception. True story.
    What?!?!

    How does a grown woman not have an idea of when her period might come?  I get that not everyone is super regular, but are you ever really THAT shocked by it coming?

    Also, it's your period.  It's not the end of the world.  I have a friend who got her first period 2 days before her pool party birthday and had a more grown up reaction.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    [Deleted User]HaileyDancingbear[Deleted User]
  • kelceya said:
    Belle2188 said:
    Ohh where do I begin?!  Not sure I could pick just one, so I won't!

    Wedding 1:  My friend insisted on getting married at a place she couldn't afford, so she inconvenienced everyone by scheduling her wedding on the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend and decided she wasn't inviting anyone's significant others.  She took a year to get thank you cards out and at each wedding we've attended together since she's publicly discussed how much better hers was.  She also had a honeymoon fund.
    Hi, I don't mean to derail but I have an honest question: is this against etiquette? We're planning our wedding on Labor Day Sunday next year. I know that there are arguments for and against holiday weekends, but it's a destination wedding, so we figured those who'll go the distance will come either way, and at least they'll have an extra day off for travel. Thoughts? TIA!
    Like PP's have said, it really depends on your guests.  I don't believe it's an etiquette breach, but it can be inconvenient.  I'll add that it was especially annoying because I wasn't allowed to bring my FI (then boyfriend of 3 years), when ordinarily we would have gone away and done something fun that weekend.  We went to a wedding this past Labor Day Weekend that didn't bother me too much despite the flights and hotel being rather expensive.  FI and I were both invited together and they planned well enough that everyone stayed in the same hotel and had a blast hanging out all weekend--that wedding did not make the list :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • KingQueenS14KingQueenS14 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited October 2013
    WOW! cash bars REALLY show you who how much you mean to your family/ friends...anyway the worst wedding would be one that starts late and there wasn't an emergency...I guess I am just glad they thought enough of me to want me to share their day. (call me sentimental)
  • phira said:
    @moemacWed30594  We're off Comm Ave and had to drive on one of the carriage roads at one point. About 10 minutes after we made it through that hot mess, there was an accident and no one could get through. Oh god I am never moving on Allston Christmas again.
    I work at the intersection of Comm Ave and Harvard Ave.....last year it literally took me over 45 minutes to drive about 20 feet. This year, I rode my bike to work on 9/1... ;)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited October 2013
    NYCBruin said:
    On the subject of bad/ridiculous rehearsal dinners, I once went to one where the bride got her period during the rehearsal dinner and went to the bathroom to sob for an hour. After she got done crying she came back out, visibly upset and got totally wasted. She was horribly hung over during her wedding the next day and vomited 11 times during the reception. True story.
    What?!?!

    How does a grown woman not have an idea of when her period might come?  I get that not everyone is super regular, but are you ever really THAT shocked by it coming?

    Also, it's your period.  It's not the end of the world.  I have a friend who got her first period 2 days before her pool party birthday and had a more grown up reaction.
    @NYCBruin I'm pretty sure they had waited to have sex until the honeymoon, but again - how she didn't realize it might come then is beyond me. And none of that warranted her response. She has always been super sensitive to alcohol so it was really, really stupid. She literally barely made it out of the bathroom at the wedding for the cake cutting and toasts. My best friend, the MOH, spent the entire evening holding her hair and wedding dress up while she puked. 
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    casey8784 said:
    phira said:
    @moemacWed30594  We're off Comm Ave and had to drive on one of the carriage roads at one point. About 10 minutes after we made it through that hot mess, there was an accident and no one could get through. Oh god I am never moving on Allston Christmas again.
    I work at the intersection of Comm Ave and Harvard Ave.....last year it literally took me over 45 minutes to drive about 20 feet. This year, I rode my bike to work on 9/1... ;)
    GOOD CALL. I forget why we were traveling on 9/1 this year, but we were on the B line looking at the clusterfuck that was the Comm/Harvard intersection. It slowed the T down a lot, too.

    Basically, lurkers, if you and/or lots of your guests live in Boston, or have to travel through Boston to get to your wedding, we highly recommend not having your wedding around September 1st.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    grumbledoreMrsMack10612casey8784
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I always enjoyed going for a walk to count the moving trucks on Sept 1. In the Somerville and Cambridge area, I counted 16 moving trucks a few years back. @Phira-good advice!

    casey8784
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards