• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Etiquette

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

1679111220

Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • Schatzi13 said:
    I don't want anyone to think that my comment above means I equate a budget or DIY wedding with poor treatment of guests. You can always treat your guests well if you make that a priority, and you can always treat them poorly if you make other things a priority. Rather, it seems to be the trendy new excuse that couples use for treating guests poorly.
    No, I totally agree with you. Many people are doing budget/DIY weddings and are still great hosts, and plan well. It's a fact that there are also many people who use the excuse of, "It's a budget wedding" to be rude and not provide basic comforts like seating and food.
  • orwhatuwillorwhatuwill member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2013
    ohannabelle I think you told the story in a very engaging way. And, it sounds like it was awful & truly disrespectful. Sorry that happened.

    But, I think you could have left the word "Dago" and reference skin color out of the recount.

    -someone who 1/2 "Dago"
  • Thanks for the explanation! I read it incorrectly.

    I'm just being too sensitive. 
    themuffinman16
  • @orwhatuwill: No worries! If a stranger called my Principessa the same....lets just say that it would open up such a tirade from hell that....well, they would probably be better off asking me for free catering for 75.

    If I had applied those same words to Rudebride...mmm. just wrong. Nothing even vaguely okay about it. Agreed.

     

    [Deleted User]mcgarci2Coeurthemuffinman16
  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    edited November 2013
    Schatzi13 Don't worry, I totally know what you mean! I strongly believe that you can have a nice wedding between 5 and 10k and still properly hosting your guests, but the sad thing is, some people do not have as low of a budget and somehow they still manage to penalize their guests because their priorities are waay off. In my opinion this should be how the pyramid of priorities should go: 1) Wedding and Reception Venue - because those tend to cost the most and aren't always within control depending on the area, but it also depends on value of the venue, are they a package where it comes with food, drink, cake and entertainment? Or is it a blank canvas where you provide those extra things.
    2) I kinda put these all at the same tier because they are all equally important, Chairs for every butt if venue doesn't provide that, and enough tables to comfortably hold your guests, enough food and drink to satisfy and fill your guests.
    3) Cake - everyone should be able to have a slice, but I put this as #3 because I strongly disagree with these places that charge 1000 bucks for a fricken cake. If you can't afford "wedding cake" there's always Costco and Safeway cakes which are pretty nummy! Or you can be creative, I went to one wedding where instead of cake, they served individual sized fruit and custard tarts which was probably a fraction of the cost of wedding cake.
    4)Entertainment for your guests and Janitorial Staff
    5)Everything else depending on what Bride and Groom value most.
  • natswildnatswild The F-f-f-rozen N-n-north (Northern Alberta) member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    The worst wedding experience I had totally was NOT the fault of the bride and groom (she is my favorite cousin), but the fault of her uncle. My family and I got to her mother's place a few days before the wedding, as we would be helping out, NBD. The day before the wedding, my uncle asked me to go with him to pick up some things needed for the day after brunch. So, in the car, he attempts to FEEL ME UP!! I was so upset, I mean, yuck! He's my uncle, for crying out loud! After the reception, he was trying very hard to go with him in his car, and he was completely shit-faced. He and my dad nearly got into a fight over that (my dad had lost his best friend to a drunk driver two months prior), but I was happy to use his drunkenness to avoid getting into the car with him. The night after the wedding, he decided to take my other two cousins and I to a drive in movie, where he starts trying to feel me up again!!! With my cousins in the back seat!! I was able to kick up enough of a fuss that he stopped, but I was very upset. I haven't talked to him since, and that was 20 years ago. I never did tell my cousin what happened, as I didn't want to negatively impact her day.

    Amyzen83
  • OMG! That's horrible natswild! I'm so sorry that happened to you! I would even suggest reporting him because that's bordering on the line of sexual harassment and assault!

    bubbles053009, I don't think STBMrsEverhart meant to judge people who wear kilts for special occasions, I think she was talking about a specific instance, where the stepfather was merely using his heritage as an excuse to be obnoxious, which is actually an insult to the culture that wears kilts. Otherwise I don't think she would have had as much of a problem with him wearing one. It also sounds like he normally isn't all about his family heritage and is one of those guys who will do anything for a laugh or to get attention.
  • natswildnatswild The F-f-f-rozen N-n-north (Northern Alberta) member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    @amyzen83, thanks...I don't have to worry about reporting him, he passed away last year. By that time even his own children had nothing to do with him...

    Amyzen83
  • I should throw this warning out in advance: this was not the fault of the bride or groom!

    Years ago FI and I attended his cousin's wedding out of town. We met his mom and stepfather in the hotel lobby prior to walking to the ceremony. We get down there and to our absolute horror find FI's insufferable tool of a stepdad is wearing a kilt. This is not his normal day to day look. He's just particularly thrilled with his Scottish heritage. This wasn't even his side of the family nor was it a "proudly wear your family heritage garb" themed event. Nope, this guy just looooves to draw attention to himself in any way he can. He's a real piece of work. It got better of course. After many single malts at the reception later he started inviting all the ladies to take a gander up said kilt and confirm his "commando" status. It was awful. 

    We're excited to see if he owns a summer-weight kilt for our DW in Mexico next year. Because wool tartan plaid sounds miserable in the tropics ;-)
    In reagrds to his step father wearing a kilt, most men from either the Scottish or Irish heritages wear kilts to special events. Most don't go commando or tell people to check out that he is commando.

    My godmother's husband wears a kilt to every special occasion he goes to. There's nothing bad about it. You sound extremely judgy about his family, btw.
    Nope. In the 11 years my FI was forced to live with the guy that was the first time he had ever seen the guy wear a kilt to any event other than an event specifically thrown to celebrate Scottish heritage. You're right, there isn't anything wrong with it if that's your "normal." But when you're purposely dressing up in a way to draw attention to yourself at someone else's wedding, it's rude. When you're three sheets to the wind and inviting your stepson's SO (and other women) to look up said inappropriate kilt it's beyond rude, it's creepy and gross. And if I sound judgy about his family perhaps that's because I am. I guess two years earlier when I met the man for the first time at FI's cousin's funeral after she had been brutally murdered and her body abandoned in an AZ desert, and my FSFIL used his former police connections to insert himself in to her murder investigation unnecessarily, then offered us a viewing of her grisly crime scene photos, I decided he was a dick. My bad.  

  • Amyzen83 said:
    OMG! That's horrible natswild! I'm so sorry that happened to you! I would even suggest reporting him because that's bordering on the line of sexual harassment and assault!

    bubbles053009, I don't think STBMrsEverhart meant to judge people who wear kilts for special occasions, I think she was talking about a specific instance, where the stepfather was merely using his heritage as an excuse to be obnoxious, which is actually an insult to the culture that wears kilts. Otherwise I don't think she would have had as much of a problem with him wearing one. It also sounds like he normally isn't all about his family heritage and is one of those guys who will do anything for a laugh or to get attention.
    Yes, that is correct. I wouldn't have a problem if he had worn a kilt to his own wedding. And every wedding he attended thereafter bc that's his view of formalwear. My issue was his doing it purposely for attention then acting like a pig after a few drinks. But he's not really a very good person, so I won't loose sleep over the non-relationship we will continue to have with him. 

  •    Ok so the worst wedding I've been to wasn't really the bride and groom's fault (well a little bit of it was his). Apparently there was some drama about her family NOT approving of him (and they said as much at the rehersal). The speeches given by her family were basically telling her that "she's asking for it". I dont know the full backstory but the speeches given about it were just plain RUDE. Also, her side of the family was sloshed so they could "cope" with everything. 

         At the ceremony it was SUPER cold and outside. There were four heaters promised and only one was delivered. A rather huge shortage of chairs cause more than half of the guests to stand for the ceremony. Evidently, the chair vendor had thought they needed 100 chair total NOT 100 chairs for ceremony then for the reception. Luckily, they were not far apart (both ceremony and reception where at someone's house) so when the ceremony was over people grabbed chairs and took them to the reception. It was muddy (as in the entire shoe sunk not just the heel muddy). And sadly, the butterflies that had been given out to be released kind of flopped (it was too cold for them).

          At the reception the food was buffet style appetizers that tasted spoiled and gross. The non alcoholic bevereages ran out quickly and what alcoholic beverages were there did not go down smoothly. The groom was in ivory and by the end of the night he had a HUGE red wine stain on the back of the tux. The music was terrible. Come to find out the MOB was suppose to get a DJ but decided the Tuesday before the wedding that she wasn't going to pay for one and luckily the officiant stepped in and played SOMETHING. The dance floor was slippery. NEVER TAKE ALCOHOL ON THE DANCE FLOOR it causes grooms to slip and fall onto nearby little kids. There was also a creepy lady who kept asking me about my own wedding and the detilas of it (uh no stranger lady you are NOT invited to my imtimate family wedding plus isn't talking about one wedding while at another just rude?).  And my favorite part: the entire wedding smelled like pot. Not that I mind people smoking weed it is just awkward when kids are running around asking what that weird smell was....

    Amyzen83aurorajanetteBubblegum5586kitty8403
  • My new worst wedding was just this past weekend!
    -no wedding cake, cupcakes, or cutting of anything-just passed dessert mini bars that hardly anyone could find.
    -only appetizers were-passed appetizers and they were baby sizes and hard to find-wedding was at 645pm so everyone was starving by 745pm cocktail time.
    -wedding started 20 minutes late
    -I'm part of brides family (first cousin) and learned of her desire for pre-wedding family pictures on day of wedding with less than 1 hour to get ready.
    -I hurried to be ready for pictures, only to be told not to worry about it since my fiancé an I had just driven over 6 hours in terrible weather following extremely busy work weeks for both of us), then to be told that actually I was wante for pictures and hurry an get there.
    - Upon finding out I was wanted at pictures, Fiancé and I hurried and were only ten minutes late (being in pictures meant needing to be ready almost 2 hours ahead of ceremony time). When we arrived, we were told the pictures had ready been taken and we were too late. Bride then proceeded to take more pictures with other people.
    -fiancé and I were at far back table and could barely see or hear anything. Our dinner did not come out till almost 1030pm and my order was wrong.
    -bride, brides sister, and my aunt (brides mom) did not say one word to my fiancé, mom, or myself the entire wedding. Not one word from any of them. Bride did not even from what I could tell, even try to greet all her guests-especially not the three if us.
    -no gift or guestbook table and i doubt there will be a thank you note..
    Not really sure why we drove 6 hours each way, spent close to $309, and sacrificed holiday plan to go to a wedding where we'd be ignored....
  • The worst wedding I went to wasn't due to etiquette breaches so much as just bad luck.

    Whether it was due to stress from the night before or a virus the bride got seriously sick the day of her wedding.  She barely made it through her ceremony before running to the bathroom to vomit and got to the reception late, having had to take off her dress and was running off to the bathroom every few minutes.  I felt so bad for her.  I was also seated with a friends parents and a family with 4 small children whom I didn't know.  Slightly weird but I get that seating is difficult.  
  • How can we make this a sticky note at the top? FYI, I may have a good story to share in Feb. for my sister's wedding *evil grin*
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    The tackiest wedding I've ever seen went as follows:

    - Potluck wedding

    - Invite included registry information AND a plea for people to both come early to set up and stay late to tear down.  Invite also stated that if you can't bring food, please bring something like a piece of art to share or an instrument to play. 

    - Registry included almost exclusively high-end items like iPads, funiture, video game systems and video games, a Keurig, and sports equipment.

    - Not enough chairs for the ceremony

    - B&G asked everyone that brought food to stand up and had people clap for them

    - B&G made a speech about the fact that they got almost everything for free by assigning other guests to bring it (centerpieces, flowers, food, chairs, booze, cake, officiant's services, ceremony musician, etc.)  I understand budget weddings, I honestly do, but there's a difference between being budget conscious and just being plain cheap.

    - They had the officiant make a speech during the ceremony that said that the B&G can't do this marriage alone, and actually said that it's the responsibility of everyone in this room to continue to support them.  Sort of an "it takes a village" mentality.  I thought this was very fitting for them considering the fact that they made it everyone else's responsibility to throw their wedding too.

    - No thank you for the dish I brought as of yet.  I have a feeling that making me stand and clapping at me is my thank you.

    This whole wedding rubbed me the wrong way because it was also several hours away, so DH and I were asked to drive, bring our own food, show up early to set up, provide art or an instrument, stay late to tear down, and buy them an expensive gift.  Yet, these two came to our wedding and didn't even give us a card.  I know that nobody is required to give us anything, but you don't show up at someone else's wedding without even a card and then expect them to turn around and buy you iPads.

     

     

    Was this the wedding of close relatives?  I can't come up with any other reason why you would have stuck around for all that crap.  I'd have declined as soon as I was told it was a potluck.
    PrettyGirlLostAmyzen83MadHops21
  • The worst I went to I actually don't remember since I was only five, but to this day my mom and grandma still bitch about it. My uncle had a potluck wedding which was bad enough, but the part my grandma is still the most upset about was that she was five minutes late to the ceremony since parking was insane and the bride refused to wait. So not only did my grandma come in during the ceremony and have to sit in the back for her only son's wedding, but I was the flower girl and didn't get to participate.

    Out of weddings I remember the only that were bad was for a friend of my grandma. The only registry was a honeyfund which my grandma was so happy to have been able to pay for "swimming with the dolphins" the couple never went on a honeymoon. There was also an over priced cash bar which I didn't realize. My grandma kept bringing me drinks so I felt bad when I went to go get one and realized my well whiskey sours were $11. I was annoyed enough having to go back for my purse, but really felt awful that between drinks for me, my date, and herself my grandma easily spent $200.
    image
    Amyzen83
  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear Arkham Asylum member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    kmmssg said:
    I hope his thread never dies.  there is so much in here for the upcoming crop of newbies who are going to get engaged this Christmas.
    This is my first year on here, is the giant wave of newbies really that bad?  If they are that's gonna stink, I like these boards because most of the people I interact with have a certain level of maturity and politeness, every other site I've been on where people interact, most posters are just downright immature, nasty, and dramatic for no reason.  I hope TK doesn't get that way XD
    image
  • Inkdancer said:
    afox007 said:
    The worst I went to I actually don't remember since I was only five, but to this day my mom and grandma still bitch about it. My uncle had a potluck wedding which was bad enough, but the part my grandma is still the most upset about was that she was five minutes late to the ceremony since parking was insane and the bride refused to wait. So not only did my grandma come in during the ceremony and have to sit in the back for her only son's wedding, but I was the flower girl and didn't get to participate.

    Out of weddings I remember the only that were bad was for a friend of my grandma. The only registry was a honeyfund which my grandma was so happy to have been able to pay for "swimming with the dolphins" the couple never went on a honeymoon. There was also an over priced cash bar which I didn't realize. My grandma kept bringing me drinks so I felt bad when I went to go get one and realized my well whiskey sours were $11. I was annoyed enough having to go back for my purse, but really felt awful that between drinks for me, my date, and herself my grandma easily spent $200.
    Best argument ever against a cash bar: you're price-gouging grandma!
    I don't know why your reply has me laughing so much! I just wish I had known it was a cash bar so I could have told her I didn't need another drink. I assumed it was properly hosted and even if it wasn't I don't understand $11 for well whiskey. 
    image
    Amyzen83mrsfinni
  • I went to a wedding in October. 

    There was a dollar dance where a BM with huge hooters and socks in place of shoes stood guard of the dance floor to collect money before you could dance with the bride/groom. She actually collected the dollar bills and was counting it in front of everybody after every few guests that came up to dance. 

    I still haven't received a thank you card for the gifts I brought. Its been over 2 months now. 

    It was a dry wedding, cool. But the bride threw a small fit because the groom left the one bottle of champagne they bought for their toast at home. So they were only going to split the bottle between themselves?

    I made the wedding cake (no profit, just had the bride pay me at cost and had to take off 2 days off work for it, I just love to bake) and she told me day of that it was beautiful and delicious. Now I'm hearing that she's going around work saying that she didn't like it. :( I only work with her one day of the week, if I ever see her since I normally don't work that day, only pick it up from time to time. 

    If I do end up seeing her should I ask her how she likes her gifts? They were off the registry after all.


    Amyzen83
  • I have really enjoyed reading this entire thread, so I'll keep it going by sharing my story:

    Worst wedding I’ve been to was for a childhood friend of my ex-boyfriend, who was in the wedding party. The interesting part was that the wedding was actually in my home state—but I felt like I was on another planet! That’s why I don’t usually buy the “regional differences” arguments for wedding etiquette breaches.

     

    The main things:

    Reception had a cash bar. However, members of the wedding party had access to a certain number of “secret” drink tickets to either use themselves or give out to their friends. So everyone was asking around for tickets or hoarding them all night. So weird.

     

    My boyfriend was in the wedding party at the head table, and I wasn’t seated with him. There was no assigned seating for guests, but there WAS a table set aside for dates of the wedding party. However, most of them left that table right away to go sit with their friends and families (again, the rest of the seating was a free-for-all) so I spent several HOURS having dinner essentially alone (boyfriend nicely visited me as much as he could).

     

    Dollar dance, which I’d never seen in real life before! On top of the money part, people behaved in super creepy ways while dancing with the bride.

     

    Not quite “etiquette” issues, but weird:

    While this isn’t the fault of the couple, the behavior of the guests really detracted from the wedding. I think this was maybe the norm in that community, but half the people who attended the reception didn’t bother coming to the ceremony, and many were in shorts and t-shirts and sneakers. I don’t think you really even needed an invite for the reception; I think some people brought along random friends. At one point someone brought a bunch of dogs into the venue? I get that you can’t tell your guests what to wear or how to behave, and I usually NEVER judge guests at a wedding who aren’t dressed as formally as the rest (everyone’s style is different, etc). But I wish I’d somehow known how informal the event was going to be—I was embarrassed that I’d spent time putting together an outfit, doing my hair, wearing heels, etc. when apparently I could have just worn whatever.  Also, I think it just looks so strange to have a bride in a big ball gown while her guests are in jeans. Rude on the part of the guests, IMO.

     

    Also, there was a very long “gap” between ceremony and reception. As a date I was luckily invited to join my BF as the wedding party road around on a party bus for three hours to take pics. Thank god, I don’t know what I’d have done otherwise! The behavior of the wedding party (apart from ex-BF) was shocking, though. They got so drunk that in most of the formal wedding photos some of the guys were still holding cans of Bud Light! Don’t get me wrong, I think fun photos and drinking are great, but these were their only formal group shots! The poor bride kept trying to get people to take the photos seriously, but all the guys—INCLUDING HER HUSBAND—just mocked her and laughed. I sort of hope she’s not still married to that guy.

    SP29PrettyGirlLost
  • Wow! What a hot mess! And wtf is up with drink tickets for the bridal party??? If they are already going to be rude and provide free booze only for the BP, they may as well have at least given them unlimited drinks. As for the guests that came dressed in casual jeans/shorts attire, were they even invited to the ceremony? Perhaps they weren't, which based on what you've described doesn't surprise me in the least, and they dressed down as a protest to the bride and groom for rudely having a tiered wedding event. Sorry you had to go through all of that, glad you don't have to deal with those people anymore.
  • hihihiii said:

    Reception had a cash bar. However, members of the wedding party had access to a certain number of “secret” drink tickets to either use themselves or give out to their friends. So everyone was asking around for tickets or hoarding them all night. So weird.

     

    Stuck in the box!

    I just wanted to comment on this for an lurking future brides. Don't do the above- it doesn't work.

    Friends of ours got married this summer, and bless their hearts, had a cash bar (I like to give the benefit of the doubt that they didn't know better and were wrongly influenced by others). Guests were given a free drink ticket each. What I found out later from my FI (the best man) was that the wedding party table (which included SOs) was supposed to get free drinks all night. When the B&G went to pay their bar tab there was a HUGE tab for the wedding party, but the WP had hardly any drinks (most used their free ticket only)!

    So either the bartender was being lax about who he was giving free drinks to, or guests figured this out and either said they were the bridal party or were buying drinks for the B&G.

    Moral of the story- don't treat your guests differently. Don't try to hide "perks" for your wedding party. Guests will figure these things out. Host your guests properly. 

    MGP
  • Amyzen83 said:
    Wow! What a hot mess! And wtf is up with drink tickets for the bridal party??? If they are already going to be rude and provide free booze only for the BP, they may as well have at least given them unlimited drinks. As for the guests that came dressed in casual jeans/shorts attire, were they even invited to the ceremony? Perhaps they weren't, which based on what you've described doesn't surprise me in the least, and they dressed down as a protest to the bride and groom for rudely having a tiered wedding event. Sorry you had to go through all of that, glad you don't have to deal with those people anymore.
    No, everyone was definitely invited to both ceremony (it was in a huge church) and reception. A lot just skipped the ceremony because church = boring. Honestly, I think a lot of it was because the wedding took place in an "everyone-knows-everyone" small town, where all weddings are seen as open to the entire community, and not very formal. In a way, there is something kind of nice and touching about that. There was a "the more, the merrier" vibe at the reception, and there was admittedly plenty of seating and food at the buffet (sandwiches + sides). Nobody took themselves too seriously, which in retrospect was kind of refreshing. 

    However, as someone not from that community, it was very alienating! It came off like couple could not have cared less that I bothered to come and bring a gift. And again, I grew up nearby--I didn't have to travel far or even stay in a hotel. I can't imagine how any guests who had to fly across the country and pay for hotels felt! I guess I may not be used to weddings that aren't at least 80% OOT guests, to be honest, where being a guest is assumed to be a large investment. For weddings that have mostly local guests, maybe things are more lax?
  • Awww, I haven't been to any bad weddings.  I've had a family member that has essentially tried to ruin all of my siblings' weddings by creating drama (and wonder of wonders has not left my wedding out of that either), but crappy guests aren't something a bride has control over.  But then again, I am not picky, so maybe that were bad weddings and I just didn't notice. 
    imageimage
    Amyzen83aleighbaker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards