Wedding Etiquette Forum

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

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Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • @Mkincaid2014 - Wow. I hope you no longer speak to that couple! I wouldn't have even gone to the wedding if the bride was being such a bitch to me.


    Amyzen83PrettyGirlLost
  • @PrettyGirlLost:  My then-boyfriend and now fiance and I had a very long come-to-Jesus talk about the whole thing after the fact and he felt horrible.  This was the first wedding he'd ever been to, and it was the first wedding in their friend group (we were in our early 20's then), so I honestly think he just had tunnel vision about being the best man.  Once I pointed everything out to him (he didn't see any of the stuff that happened on the wedding day because the wedding party was so sequestered), he put it all together, understood how awful it was for me, and apologized for not seeing it and stopping it right away.  Now that we're in our very late 20's, he knows how weddings should work and has been extremely helpful in planning our wedding.  He is also very sensitive to how I'm treated now by his friends, colleagues, etc.  He's a good guy and fully has my back. That was definitely a learning experience for him, to say the least. 

    @Bethsmiles:  We are still friends with that couple - the groom is going to be my fiance's best man, actually.  I really can't explain what happened to both of them during the planning and execution of their wedding - they became totally different people.  I know the bride's family pulled a major financial bait and switch late in the game, and she just became a stressed out, raging, penny-pinching narrow-minded person.  Her family isn't nice in general, and they were dictating how the wedding should run (not that it excuses anything that happened).  I think they were also (consciously or subconsciously?) against our relationship early on because they (and that entire friend group) are all Catholic and I'm not.  I'm pretty sure the bride doesn't remember doing any of this.  It took me about 4 years to make peace with everything that happened at the wedding and mentally move on in our relationship with them, so I've called a mental truce.   
    PrettyGirlLostBubblegum5586
  • @Mkincaid2014 - You are much more forgiving than I would've been, none of that gives them the right to treat them the way you did. I hate that people think wedding planning means you get a free pass to be a bitch to your friends and family.


    Amyzen83aurorajanettePrettyGirlLost
  • @PrettyGirlLost:  My then-boyfriend and now fiance and I had a very long come-to-Jesus talk about the whole thing after the fact and he felt horrible.  This was the first wedding he'd ever been to, and it was the first wedding in their friend group (we were in our early 20's then), so I honestly think he just had tunnel vision about being the best man.  Once I pointed everything out to him (he didn't see any of the stuff that happened on the wedding day because the wedding party was so sequestered), he put it all together, understood how awful it was for me, and apologized for not seeing it and stopping it right away.  Now that we're in our very late 20's, he knows how weddings should work and has been extremely helpful in planning our wedding.  He is also very sensitive to how I'm treated now by his friends, colleagues, etc.  He's a good guy and fully has my back. That was definitely a learning experience for him, to say the least. 

    @Bethsmiles:  We are still friends with that couple - the groom is going to be my fiance's best man, actually.  I really can't explain what happened to both of them during the planning and execution of their wedding - they became totally different people.  I know the bride's family pulled a major financial bait and switch late in the game, and she just became a stressed out, raging, penny-pinching narrow-minded person.  Her family isn't nice in general, and they were dictating how the wedding should run (not that it excuses anything that happened).  I think they were also (consciously or subconsciously?) against our relationship early on because they (and that entire friend group) are all Catholic and I'm not.  I'm pretty sure the bride doesn't remember doing any of this.  It took me about 4 years to make peace with everything that happened at the wedding and mentally move on in our relationship with them, so I've called a mental truce.   

    It sounds like this happened years ago and I'm glad you were able to wrk things through but honestly there's a woman I was close friends w who was totally unsupportive of my relationship w my then bf now fi in the beginning just based on the fact he was a non Christian never mind the fact he treats me a million times better than any Christian guy I dated/ was interested in, and she was all " love is blind Amyzen". Needless to say she and her hubby will not be invited to our wedding, and I'm not going to lie her attitude towards my fi affected our friendship especially when she talked about setting me up w one of her friends "forgetting" I was in a relationship.
    aurorajanettePrettyGirlLost
  • @bethsmiles:  I absolutely agree, but I was tired of wasting energy disliking them, if that makes sense.  Since my fi is very close with the guy (they've been friends for a long time, and the couple actually met through my fi), it was tough.  I skipped a lot of social events and avoided them for a while, and I got sick of doing it.  And I really do think they have wedding amnesia - they don't remember half the stuff that went wrong at the wedding itself.  I also never sent them a wedding gift because I forgot to bring the card and money with me to the wedding and didn't feel like sending it after everything that happened. 

    Recently the guy got really teary telling me and my fi how much we both mean to him and how happy he is that we're getting married.  Everyone's come a long way.     

    And on the bright side, now whenever people start complaining about bad weddings they've been to, I usually have a story to top them.  ;-) 
    Amyzen83dramamonkeyPrettyGirlLostcrunchymamaof2
  • I'm really really glad you all could move past that... It sounds like they got married pretty young early 20s you said? Gosh knows I've come along leaps and bounds since then so glad you all have stayed close
  • I've been to two truly terrible weddings. 

    The first, and probably the funnier of the two, was at a boy scout camp in rural Ohio. Dry wedding because of camp rules.  The bride and groom didn't really have a lot of money, so no big deal.  The food was great and there was plenty of it.  The problems with the wedding weren't really the fault of the bride or groom.  So... Before the wedding, the barely 18-year-old bride's mother - who literally had 3 teeth in her head - (I was friends with the groom) was wandering around worrying that the bride's father would show up and ruin the wedding by stopping it. Seems the bride's family was pretty well broke and saw my friend, who had a good steady job, as the meal ticket for the whole family.  I started hoping he would show up and stop it pretty quickly after listening to them.  But it gets worse.  During the exchange of vows, the alter literally spontaneously burst into flames.  Wax from the candles on it dripped down and caught fire.  The best man had to hurry to put it out.  I'm not a big believer in signs from God, but if there ever was one, this was it.  As an aside, they are no longer married.



    The issues with the other crappy wedding I went to fall entirely on the bride.  One of my male friends from high school was getting married in Chicago.  His wife was always jealous of his female high school friends and was incredibly nasty to us, with the exception of one - my best friend.  I hate to say it, but she only liked her because she was really overweight, so bride never saw her as a threat.  (Strike one.)  Bride asked my best friend to be a bridesmaid, I suspect because she wanted sides to be even. 

    Bride picked out a bridesmaids' dress without ever consulting with my friend as to her budget.  My friend was a newly single mom trying to put herself through college and traveling to an out of state wedding.  She did not have a lot to spend on the dress.  In fact, I came with her as her "date" in part to help her defer the costs of the hotel room and gas for the drive.  The dress the bride picked out did not come in my friend's size.  The bride demanded that my friend buy a custom made to match dress that cost three times what the other bridesmaids dresses cost (and didn't offer to help pay at all).  Bride picked a seamstress in Chicago, so my friend never got measured properly for the dress.  It didn't fit her and was so poorly made that one of the straps broke half way through the ceremony and I had to go hunt down safety pins at a local drug store before going to the reception.

    Groom's family throws bride a bridal shower.  It was a lovely shower with great food and groom's family and friends traveled from all over to come to it.  Groom's mother is one of the nicest ladies I have ever met.  Bride openly talked badly about the food and decorations at the shower in front of her future mother in law and then proceeded to sulk in a corner on the porch for the last 2 hours of the shower, including when she was being given gifts.  She never sent a thank you card for the gift I gave her either.

    It was a Catholic wedding, but my friend in the wedding was Jewish.  She was not told that she should not go up to communion, went up at the bride's urging, and ended up handing me a communion host after the wedding and asking me what to do with it, after she pondered flushing it down the toilet.  (For those of you who weren't raised Catholic, once a host is consecrated, it must be consumed or buried.  To do otherwise is a horrible insult to the church and strict Catholics would consider flushing a host to be flushing Jesus himself down the toilet.)  I popped the host in my mouth rather than track down the priest and explain.

    At the reception, my friend was seated at the head table since she was in the wedding.  Rather than being seated with (or near, if the table was full) my other friends from high school, I was seated at a table with 7 people I had never met, who all knew each other in passing but were clearly at the reject table.  Fortunately, they were really nice people and I'm not exactly shy.  But the number of guests at the reception was so high, I couldn't even find anyone else I knew for the first hour or so I was there (I got there late because of the safety pin hunt.)  I really wanted to dance with an old friend of mine who I hadn't seen in over a decade, but just about the time his girlfriend relinquished him for a dance with me, the bride threw some kind of fit that prompted my best friend to burst into tears and I spent the next half an hour trying to calm her down and make her feel better.  And finally, the bride - who didn't like me at all - got so drunk that after she nearly fell over in the bathroom and I offered to help her straighten out her dress, she grabbed my butt and tried to plant a kiss on me.  I haven't spoken to her (and unfortunately to my friend who married her) since.
    image
  • @PrettyGirlLost:  My then-boyfriend and now fiance and I had a very long come-to-Jesus talk about the whole thing after the fact and he felt horrible.  This was the first wedding he'd ever been to, and it was the first wedding in their friend group (we were in our early 20's then), so I honestly think he just had tunnel vision about being the best man.  Once I pointed everything out to him (he didn't see any of the stuff that happened on the wedding day because the wedding party was so sequestered), he put it all together, understood how awful it was for me, and apologized for not seeing it and stopping it right away.  Now that we're in our very late 20's, he knows how weddings should work and has been extremely helpful in planning our wedding.  He is also very sensitive to how I'm treated now by his friends, colleagues, etc.  He's a good guy and fully has my back. That was definitely a learning experience for him, to say the least. 

    I figured you were both younger and it was like a 1st wedding or very close to it.  I didn't mean to come across that I thought he was a bad guy or anything. .  . at that age I probably would have endured all that abuse too!

    Have fun knocking that couple's socks off with how to properly treat people!!!!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I loved reading through everyone's stories! Here's mine, short and sweet.

    We went to a friend's wedding this summer, where she was more than an hour late for her own ceremony. No one ever came to inform guests that the ceremony wasn't beginning on time, offer apologies or anything.  We literally just sat there and waited.

    When it came time for the reception, the venue didn't have enough tables and chairs out for everyone, so they literally dragged tables/chairs out of nowhere to accommodate everyone. It took more than an hour and a half for the bride and groom to take pictures and in that time, guests were told we couldn't eat anything on the buffet. All we had was water or soda to drink while we waited.
    Amyzen83
  • melbenso said:
    I've been to two truly terrible weddings. 

    The first, and probably the funnier of the two, was at a boy scout camp in rural Ohio. Dry wedding because of camp rules.  The bride and groom didn't really have a lot of money, so no big deal.  The food was great and there was plenty of it.  The problems with the wedding weren't really the fault of the bride or groom.  So... Before the wedding, the barely 18-year-old bride's mother - who literally had 3 teeth in her head - (I was friends with the groom) was wandering around worrying that the bride's father would show up and ruin the wedding by stopping it. Seems the bride's family was pretty well broke and saw my friend, who had a good steady job, as the meal ticket for the whole family.  I started hoping he would show up and stop it pretty quickly after listening to them.  But it gets worse.  During the exchange of vows, the alter literally spontaneously burst into flames.  Wax from the candles on it dripped down and caught fire.  The best man had to hurry to put it out.  I'm not a big believer in signs from God, but if there ever was one, this was it.  As an aside, they are no longer married.



    The issues with the other crappy wedding I went to fall entirely on the bride.  One of my male friends from high school was getting married in Chicago.  His wife was always jealous of his female high school friends and was incredibly nasty to us, with the exception of one - my best friend.  I hate to say it, but she only liked her because she was really overweight, so bride never saw her as a threat.  (Strike one.)  Bride asked my best friend to be a bridesmaid, I suspect because she wanted sides to be even. 

    Bride picked out a bridesmaids' dress without ever consulting with my friend as to her budget.  My friend was a newly single mom trying to put herself through college and traveling to an out of state wedding.  She did not have a lot to spend on the dress.  In fact, I came with her as her "date" in part to help her defer the costs of the hotel room and gas for the drive.  The dress the bride picked out did not come in my friend's size.  The bride demanded that my friend buy a custom made to match dress that cost three times what the other bridesmaids dresses cost (and didn't offer to help pay at all).  Bride picked a seamstress in Chicago, so my friend never got measured properly for the dress.  It didn't fit her and was so poorly made that one of the straps broke half way through the ceremony and I had to go hunt down safety pins at a local drug store before going to the reception.

    Groom's family throws bride a bridal shower.  It was a lovely shower with great food and groom's family and friends traveled from all over to come to it.  Groom's mother is one of the nicest ladies I have ever met.  Bride openly talked badly about the food and decorations at the shower in front of her future mother in law and then proceeded to sulk in a corner on the porch for the last 2 hours of the shower, including when she was being given gifts.  She never sent a thank you card for the gift I gave her either.

    It was a Catholic wedding, but my friend in the wedding was Jewish.  She was not told that she should not go up to communion, went up at the bride's urging, and ended up handing me a communion host after the wedding and asking me what to do with it, after she pondered flushing it down the toilet.  (For those of you who weren't raised Catholic, once a host is consecrated, it must be consumed or buried.  To do otherwise is a horrible insult to the church and strict Catholics would consider flushing a host to be flushing Jesus himself down the toilet.)  I popped the host in my mouth rather than track down the priest and explain.

    At the reception, my friend was seated at the head table since she was in the wedding.  Rather than being seated with (or near, if the table was full) my other friends from high school, I was seated at a table with 7 people I had never met, who all knew each other in passing but were clearly at the reject table.  Fortunately, they were really nice people and I'm not exactly shy.  But the number of guests at the reception was so high, I couldn't even find anyone else I knew for the first hour or so I was there (I got there late because of the safety pin hunt.)  I really wanted to dance with an old friend of mine who I hadn't seen in over a decade, but just about the time his girlfriend relinquished him for a dance with me, the bride threw some kind of fit that prompted my best friend to burst into tears and I spent the next half an hour trying to calm her down and make her feel better.  And finally, the bride - who didn't like me at all - got so drunk that after she nearly fell over in the bathroom and I offered to help her straighten out her dress, she grabbed my butt and tried to plant a kiss on me.  I haven't spoken to her (and unfortunately to my friend who married her) since.
    As a total aside... I work in a nursing home and was tasked with taking some of my residents to a funeral of another resident who had passed away. It was at a Catholic church, but they were a mixed crowd. I turned my head for a split second and a Jewish resident took communion, realized what she had done mid-chew, and spit it out. The priest then had to take it from her and swallow it. She did not have the greatest oral hygiene, and I just wanted to say to him, "I feel like God and Jesus would understand if you didn't swallow that..." but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

    Anywho, back to bad weddings...
    mimiphinWegl13
  • Thanks, @PrettyGirlLost!  We're wedding date twins, BTW.  
    PrettyGirlLostAmyzen83
  • melbenso said:
    I've been to two truly terrible weddings. 

    The first, and probably the funnier of the two, was at a boy scout camp in rural Ohio. Dry wedding because of camp rules.  The bride and groom didn't really have a lot of money, so no big deal.  The food was great and there was plenty of it.  The problems with the wedding weren't really the fault of the bride or groom.  So... Before the wedding, the barely 18-year-old bride's mother - who literally had 3 teeth in her head - (I was friends with the groom) was wandering around worrying that the bride's father would show up and ruin the wedding by stopping it. Seems the bride's family was pretty well broke and saw my friend, who had a good steady job, as the meal ticket for the whole family.  I started hoping he would show up and stop it pretty quickly after listening to them.  But it gets worse.  During the exchange of vows, the alter literally spontaneously burst into flames.  Wax from the candles on it dripped down and caught fire.  The best man had to hurry to put it out.  I'm not a big believer in signs from God, but if there ever was one, this was it.  As an aside, they are no longer married.



    The issues with the other crappy wedding I went to fall entirely on the bride.  One of my male friends from high school was getting married in Chicago.  His wife was always jealous of his female high school friends and was incredibly nasty to us, with the exception of one - my best friend.  I hate to say it, but she only liked her because she was really overweight, so bride never saw her as a threat.  (Strike one.)  Bride asked my best friend to be a bridesmaid, I suspect because she wanted sides to be even. 

    Bride picked out a bridesmaids' dress without ever consulting with my friend as to her budget.  My friend was a newly single mom trying to put herself through college and traveling to an out of state wedding.  She did not have a lot to spend on the dress.  In fact, I came with her as her "date" in part to help her defer the costs of the hotel room and gas for the drive.  The dress the bride picked out did not come in my friend's size.  The bride demanded that my friend buy a custom made to match dress that cost three times what the other bridesmaids dresses cost (and didn't offer to help pay at all).  Bride picked a seamstress in Chicago, so my friend never got measured properly for the dress.  It didn't fit her and was so poorly made that one of the straps broke half way through the ceremony and I had to go hunt down safety pins at a local drug store before going to the reception.

    Groom's family throws bride a bridal shower.  It was a lovely shower with great food and groom's family and friends traveled from all over to come to it.  Groom's mother is one of the nicest ladies I have ever met.  Bride openly talked badly about the food and decorations at the shower in front of her future mother in law and then proceeded to sulk in a corner on the porch for the last 2 hours of the shower, including when she was being given gifts.  She never sent a thank you card for the gift I gave her either.

    It was a Catholic wedding, but my friend in the wedding was Jewish.  She was not told that she should not go up to communion, went up at the bride's urging, and ended up handing me a communion host after the wedding and asking me what to do with it, after she pondered flushing it down the toilet.  (For those of you who weren't raised Catholic, once a host is consecrated, it must be consumed or buried.  To do otherwise is a horrible insult to the church and strict Catholics would consider flushing a host to be flushing Jesus himself down the toilet.)  I popped the host in my mouth rather than track down the priest and explain.

    At the reception, my friend was seated at the head table since she was in the wedding.  Rather than being seated with (or near, if the table was full) my other friends from high school, I was seated at a table with 7 people I had never met, who all knew each other in passing but were clearly at the reject table.  Fortunately, they were really nice people and I'm not exactly shy.  But the number of guests at the reception was so high, I couldn't even find anyone else I knew for the first hour or so I was there (I got there late because of the safety pin hunt.)  I really wanted to dance with an old friend of mine who I hadn't seen in over a decade, but just about the time his girlfriend relinquished him for a dance with me, the bride threw some kind of fit that prompted my best friend to burst into tears and I spent the next half an hour trying to calm her down and make her feel better.  And finally, the bride - who didn't like me at all - got so drunk that after she nearly fell over in the bathroom and I offered to help her straighten out her dress, she grabbed my butt and tried to plant a kiss on me.  I haven't spoken to her (and unfortunately to my friend who married her) since.
    As a total aside... I work in a nursing home and was tasked with taking some of my residents to a funeral of another resident who had passed away. It was at a Catholic church, but they were a mixed crowd. I turned my head for a split second and a Jewish resident took communion, realized what she had done mid-chew, and spit it out. The priest then had to take it from her and swallow it. She did not have the greatest oral hygiene, and I just wanted to say to him, "I feel like God and Jesus would understand if you didn't swallow that..." but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

    Anywho, back to bad weddings...
    imageimageimage

    Wedding Black & White, Sepia
    PrettyGirlLostMrsDeRuyter87
  • chkmeowtchkmeowt member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
  • I went to a wedding where the caterer touched the food at the carving station with her bare hands. And served the cake by slicing it and laying each slice on her hand to put it onto plates (and yelled at guests who were on line waiting to be served). The wedding was otherwise lovely, but the caterer's behavior totally made me feel icky. I mean, I know things happen behind the scenes since I worked in food service for many years, but as a guest, I don't want to SEE it happening!
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • sofakingmadsofakingmad member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    Most breaches of etiquette don't bother me as much as many people, but there was this one wedding.

    My soontobeexH was the best man in the wedding and the groom insisted on a 10 day bachelor party to Europe (where I later found out the groom had sex with a prostitute while on this trip).

    On their wedding invite they put, "We prefer cash for gifts." and they had a honeymoon registry.

    He was my BF at the time, but the invite said "Mr. DragonBlood and Guest."  

    And the wedding started 1 hour late because the bride had to have her runner and made the groom go back and get it.  So we all had to sit there and wait forever.  Oh and there was a 4 hour gap in between the wedding and reception. Would have been 5, but she helped us out on that.

    But, their marriage has lasted longer than mine.  So I guess they did something right!                  




    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • WHERE IS MY POST?!?!?!


    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • Hey Knot Gods...did my post get deleted because I referred to a woman of the night?  
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • @DragonBlood13 - A woman of the night?? You've piqued my interest!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Looks like all posts in this thread from today might be gone. I posted something earlier and it's not here either - and I definitely didn't refer to any women of the night!
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • Looks like all posts in this thread from today might be gone. I posted something earlier and it's not here either - and I definitely didn't refer to any women of the night!
    Ok, this makes me feel better.  
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • Belthil said:
    @DragonBlood13 - A woman of the night?? You've piqued my interest!
    I don't feel like retyping the whole thing, but my soontobeexH was the BM in a wedding and the groom insisted on going to Europe for 10 days for his bach party.  I later found out that he (the groom) slept with a woman of the night (aka paid money if you know what I mean).  

    There were things about the actual wedding, but that bit of info is the most exciting part.  
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  •  
    When I was stressing out about planning my sister's shower, I took my now FMIL up on her offer to help me out by hosting the event at her house (I think there were 12-15 people total?  She really loves entertaining.)  During that time... she told me her wedding story- which I think tops everything, ever.

    They were originally going to get married in the fall, but the groom's mother was very ill, they moved everything up (twice).  They went from having 1 year to plan a wedding to 5 months.  Short cut to the wedding day- the groom's mother passed away.  They ended up cancelling the reception, and just having the ceremony.  Her SIL called and cancelled the tuxes, so they had to go out an buy the best man a suit, because he had no dress clothing.  The bridesmaid dresses didn't come in on time.  To top it off.. the band AND the photographer double booked.

    My FMIL is super chill.  Her response to all of this was, "Look, everything went wrong at my wedding, but at the end of the day we were married until Husband passed away."  The plus side to this attitude- she refuses to let anyone tell us when/ where to have our wedding.

    I like your FMIL.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • When I was stressing out about planning my sister's shower, I took my now FMIL up on her offer to help me out by hosting the event at her house (I think there were 12-15 people total?  She really loves entertaining.)  During that time... she told me her wedding story- which I think tops everything, ever.

    They were originally going to get married in the fall, but the groom's mother was very ill, they moved everything up (twice).  They went from having 1 year to plan a wedding to 5 months.  Short cut to the wedding day- the groom's mother passed away.  They ended up cancelling the reception, and just having the ceremony.  Her SIL called and cancelled the tuxes, so they had to go out an buy the best man a suit, because he had no dress clothing.  The bridesmaid dresses didn't come in on time.  To top it off.. the band AND the photographer double booked.

    My FMIL is super chill.  Her response to all of this was, "Look, everything went wrong at my wedding, but at the end of the day we were married until Husband passed away."  The plus side to this attitude- she refuses to let anyone tell us when/ where to have our wedding.

    Your future mother-in-law sounds like one of the best people ever.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    Amyzen83huskypuppy14themuffinman16
  •  
    When I was stressing out about planning my sister's shower, I took my now FMIL up on her offer to help me out by hosting the event at her house (I think there were 12-15 people total?  She really loves entertaining.)  During that time... she told me her wedding story- which I think tops everything, ever.

    They were originally going to get married in the fall, but the groom's mother was very ill, they moved everything up (twice).  They went from having 1 year to plan a wedding to 5 months.  Short cut to the wedding day- the groom's mother passed away.  They ended up cancelling the reception, and just having the ceremony.  Her SIL called and cancelled the tuxes, so they had to go out an buy the best man a suit, because he had no dress clothing.  The bridesmaid dresses didn't come in on time.  To top it off.. the band AND the photographer double booked.

    My FMIL is super chill.  Her response to all of this was, "Look, everything went wrong at my wedding, but at the end of the day we were married until Husband passed away."  The plus side to this attitude- she refuses to let anyone tell us when/ where to have our wedding.

    I like your FMIL.
    Me too.  I wonder what went wrong at her wedding.
  • My FMIL is awesome!  I'm super lucky!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
  • I attended a wedding with my parents where the couple imposed a "no kids" rule. I was 14. Their rule applied to under 18 year olds. That meant me, and two little boys, aged 2 and 4. I was voluntold I would babysit. I'd never babysat before. It was no fun trying to wrangle the stroller into the one place in the hotel where the reception was to get food- the tiny ass cafe. I also got dirty looks from patrons, as due to my nice clothes, I looked older than 14, but younger than 20 (the assumed single mom who can't control/support her kids) with one kid howling and the other running like a maniac. We then were holed up in a guest room with a tv and the stroller (which had toddler/young child snacks, diapers, a change of clothes for each boy and wet wipes) for 3.5 hours.

    13 years later, this is a standout to me as horrible treatment by the couple who acted as if I was a child who couldn't behave and had to be squirreled away somewhere (For the Record, both my parents are strict disciplinarians when it comes to child behavior, and I could be taken to a nice restaurant establishment by age 7 and sit quietly behaved through the meal, as I knew what a butt whupping I'd get at home if I didn't). Said couple also acted like I should be grateful for the opportunity to babysit and got snippy when I had to come down and get the mother of the boys for something. The mom of the two boys was nice though- as a thank you to me, she went to an exclusive boutique store (this was in St. Augustine, FL), and got me a lovely set of wonderful scented lotions and beauty stuff, the type a 14 year old girl likes.

    Side note- the bride in this wedding had always looked up to my Dad as a father figure (her dad left his family when she was 1.5 yrs old). I got down to the reception to find the mother just in time to see the Bride asking my Dad to join her in the "father daughter/ mother son" dance. It's a minor thing, but seeing as my Dad's health and physical condition means he will not be able to dance with me (he's working on feeling better to make sure he can escort me down the aisle) coupled with memories of this wedding, I'm upset again at the couple.   Some years later, the couple had two kids. Both are brats. They were living in the town I went to college in, and was attending at the time. Bride called asking if I could babysit. I said I'd have to check my class and workload schedule. Etiquette breach on my part- I never called back.

    aurorajanette
  • mrsbananymrsbanany member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    Not necessarily breaking any etiquette rules but this wedding was really awkward.  It was my then BF-now FI's brother's wedding.  It was a wedding about 2 hours away and my FI's entire family was involved in the wedding so I had a lot of time to spend alone. The wedding was in a small beach town but the hotel was about 30 min from town so I really had no where to go other than the pool while everyone was partaking in pre-wedding activities. I did that for 2 days. Then for the rehearsal dinner, everyone had a place card except for me.  When I asked what was up they started scrambling saying mine must have gotten lost. IMO, they didn't expect me to go. They ended up squeezing in another chair at the table with my FI which meant there were 11 people at a table big enough for 10, not very comfy.

    The day of the wedding, FI's mom and sister were going to the salon to get their hair done and they invited me to join so I wouldn't have to spend another day alone at the pool. At the salon there were little sandwiches and lemonade and tea. I went up to get one and the MOH came over and took it from me and said that it was for WP only.  There was about 50 sandwiches for 10 people, not like there would not have been enough. FI's mom ended up getting me everything while I sat in the lobby eating alone so the MOH wouldn't see.  Then before the wedding I was told by bride that the first row would say reserved but I should sit there anyway.  So I show up to the wedding and sit in the first row, far away from the aisle leaving enough seats for the groom's parents.  Then the wedding coordinator shows up and asks me to move. When I told her I was with the family of the groom she said "all family is in the WP you have to move" so I got up but there were no seats left because they had allocated the exact number of chairs for guests.  So I stood there in the corner while the groomsmen and parents entered.  FI's mom looked over and motioned for me to sit with them. So I quietly snuck over and sat with them and the coordinator came over to ask the parents if I was actually with them or if I was a crasher! She asked this while the WP was processing down the aisle!!! 

    Then at the reception, there was a misprint on my escort card. It said table 14 - there was no table 14.  I was walking around while everyone was seated looking for table 14.  FI's family was all being announced so I couldn't ask them for any help.  The reception was in 3 different "rooms" so it took forever for me to realize that there was no table 14 and that it was supposed to say table 13 because I had to walk through this maze of rooms and tables counting them all... 

    I also never got an invitation to anything, neither the bridal shower or the wedding. While I was invited to both (I know so because the bride was saying how excited she was for me to go to the wedding months before invites for anything were sent out) they just assumed that I was included with my FI's family, he didn't get his own invitation either. 3 days before the shower I got a nasty phone call from the MOH basically yelling at me for not RSVPing to the shower. I never received an invite and when FI's mom called to RSVP she only included herself and her daughter because she assumed I got my own invite.  Same thing happened with the invitation, but this time they knew because FI told them he never got an invite either.  Just wondering he was 21 at the time, just graduated from college and was in the transition period between dorm life and getting his own place so he was still living at home.  Should he have gotten his own invite?

    The couple, while they mean well, just don't really get common courtesy.  At FI's college graduation, they left before he walked across the stage because they wanted to go to an open house. They told us they would meet us for dinner but never showed up. Then when FI's sister got married (her FI came over on the FI visa so they planned the whole wedding in 1 month) they didn't go to the wedding because they were leaving for vacation that morning. My FI's dad offered to pay for them to switch their flight to the next morning and they said no! My FI and I have been joking that we really hope they don't have to pick up their dry cleaning the day of our wedding or they might not go. 

    ETA spelling
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