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Etiquette

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

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Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • @mysticl that is a good piece of info to keep in mind for the future - thanks for that!
  • Worst weddings oops ever...

    My first wedding had 15 people invited and the reception was at the bar I worked at which was also a food establishment but mostly just a bar :) totally a buy your own drinks situation! We did have great food and plenty of it and it was a really intimate gathering!

    Wedding a few years ago in bayfield on Lake Superior. Couldn't hear ANYTHING and it was freezing. We had to home across the beach to get to the "ceremony spot" which was unmarked. The reception was a half hour away at a really small town hall, pot luck style food but I'm pretty sure the B&Gs family made it all. There was one door to get in and then you had to go up Stairs and through a hallway and past the kitchen to get the the dinigroom which was very confusing.

    My BFF this summer :/ and I LOVE her!!! Married an hour away from home. Only a handful of people invited to the ceremony. Had the reception back home so an hour away from ceremony site. She also got married on Lake Superior and I thought if die on the rocks but the view was worth it! The whole reception was so confusing!!! Food was out but we couldn't eat yet, then we could, there were two different rooms set up for people to eat in, 2 hours later I had to bring my kid to the sitters and they were just thinking of starting speeches!! I had to stay to give me speech and then missed the first dance because I had to take my kid home. It was just really unorganized and I didn't even see most of the people that came because the head table and most of the rest of the tables were in different rooms!!

    I just know that I don't want a wedding that could end up on this board!!!
  • I forgot to add that my BFF put BYOB right on her invitations :( I know at least one couple that didn't go just for that reason
    aurorajanettemelbelleup
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Worst weddings oops ever... My first wedding had 15 people invited and the reception was at the bar I worked at which was also a food establishment but mostly just a bar :) totally a buy your own drinks situation! We did have great food and plenty of it and it was a really intimate gathering! Wedding a few years ago in bayfield on Lake Superior. Couldn't hear ANYTHING and it was freezing. We had to home across the beach to get to the "ceremony spot" which was unmarked. The reception was a half hour away at a really small town hall, pot luck style food but I'm pretty sure the B&Gs family made it all. There was one door to get in and then you had to go up Stairs and through a hallway and past the kitchen to get the the dinigroom which was very confusing. My BFF this summer :/ and I LOVE her!!! Married an hour away from home. Only a handful of people invited to the ceremony. Had the reception back home so an hour away from ceremony site. She also got married on Lake Superior and I thought if die on the rocks but the view was worth it! The whole reception was so confusing!!! Food was out but we couldn't eat yet, then we could, there were two different rooms set up for people to eat in, 2 hours later I had to bring my kid to the sitters and they were just thinking of starting speeches!! I had to stay to give me speech and then missed the first dance because I had to take my kid home. It was just really unorganized and I didn't even see most of the people that came because the head table and most of the rest of the tables were in different rooms!! I just know that I don't want a wedding that could end up on this board!!!
    I'm a little confused...your kid was invited to the ceremony but not the reception?
  • No my kid wasn't invited to the ceremony, which was understandable because she loves these people and would not have been able to be held back, plus I was the MOH so I wanted to focus on the bride. She was at the reception but it started at like 5 and then we ate and then around 730 it was time for me to get her to the sitter for her bedtime. I had to go a half hour away to drop her off and come back. The reception didn't end until 11 or later.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No my kid wasn't invited to the ceremony, which was understandable because she loves these people and would not have been able to be held back, plus I was the MOH so I wanted to focus on the bride. She was at the reception but it started at like 5 and then we ate and then around 730 it was time for me to get her to the sitter for her bedtime. I had to go a half hour away to drop her off and come back. The reception didn't end until 11 or later.
    Was she invited to the reception?
  • Yes! Not only invited but much wanted. She just HANGS on the groom. She loves him so much and he loves her so he indulges her a lot which is fine because they only see her like once a month! It was understandable about the ceremony because with me being in the wedding it would have been on FI to handle her and he is not the father. He's good with her but to put him in that situation could have been chaos, we didn't want to risk it.
    perdonami
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Yes! Not only invited but much wanted. She just HANGS on the groom. She loves him so much and he loves her so he indulges her a lot which is fine because they only see her like once a month! It was understandable about the ceremony because with me being in the wedding it would have been on FI to handle her and he is not the father. He's good with her but to put him in that situation could have been chaos, we didn't want to risk it.
    Okay, this makes more sense now.  But it doesn't necessarily sound like bad planning on their part...maybe they thought she'd stay up until the end or that you'd bring your sitter with you, not that you'd have to leave to take her to the sitter.  Sounds like some communication should have happened that didn't.
  • It's not the sitter part that was bad it's the fact that dinner was at 5:30 and then 2 hours later after everyone had basically been standing around and I had to leave, they were like on yeah speeches! A lot of people had already left because it was late. The reception started at 5, speeches around 7:30, dances started around 8:15? It was just really unorganized that way. No one knew what was going on and almost everyone was just standing around outside most of the night. Then after the dj played for a few hours they stopped to have a dollar dance! AHHH! Idk badly MCed at best!
  • 1. The wedding was a BEAUTIFUL amazing event.....until the end of the night. The hotel that we all booked was a good 25 minutes from the reception hall and we were told to take taxis to the reception hall and that taxis would be available at the end of the reception. There was full open bar available (great!) and this was a 20 something group, so we all planned to have quite a bit to drink--and take cabs back to the hotel. The reception ended at 11pm the entire reception hall was emptied in a matter of seconds. Leaving all of us in the parking lot (they wouldn't even let us sit in the lobby!). There were no cabs, no one had a # for a cab (none of us were from the area). Then the bride and groom jumped into a car and zoomed off! Leaving everyone (including the bridal party who rode to the reception with the B&G) standing in an empty parking lot. It took at least 30 minutes to get a taxi to the location once we looked up a number. Anyone planning a wedding---please don't tell your guests that there will be rides available if you don't plan to actually have a ride available.

     

    2. Speeches. The MOH was probably sweet, but I missed it-- a child started acting up (crying, screaming, kicking legs) and the grandfather stood up to take her out. Well, the well intentioned grandfather walked so slowly with the child that the temper tantrum was all anyone could hear for the duration of the speech. As soon as the child was out of ear shot it was "Please raise a glass to the couple". The best man's speech took at least 25 minutes. So long that people started returning to the bar to get another drink, because they had finished theirs. People also started side conversations because his rambling just wouldn't end. Only about 50% of the room actually toasted, he had lost the rest of the audience. That same wedding also made us play games to win our turn to go up to the buffet. Some tables hadn't been released to the buffet when the first dances started. Oh, and they never cut/served the cake! When we were leaving I noticed the whole cake still on display with one little sliver cut out from the couple.

  • The worst wedding I went to was years ago, a Catholic ceremony, which was fine. But the reception was way out in the boonies - a bunch of people got lost getting out there. Those of us who didn't get lost ended up sitting around with nothing to do, drink or eat besides water. It was a dry reception (first time I heard of sober Catholics! (o.O) ) 

    Over an hour and a half later, bride and groom and the lost souls finally show up and we get dinner. And then after dinner toasts start. And keep going. And going. Thirteen after dinner toasts later, most of which were given by the brides family and were among the lines of, well, we don't really like this guy, but I guess we're going to have to try and get used to him, we were finally given cake. The ex-bf and I took off ASAP after that. Talk about awkward.

    Wedding Black & White, Sepia
    aurorajanette
  • ohannabelle you should be a fricken storyteller! I fully entertained reading that, but I'd be hella pissed too if that were my daughter or me in Kate's position. I would have probubly told bride to f-off and find another slave--- er um bridesmaid and I would have dumped bf for not being supportive. I hope rudebride and her husband don't procreate.
    HaileyDancingbearthemuffinman16
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    OK, I will play.

    H and I went to a wedding, on a Friday, in the middle of the afternoon. So we both had to leave work early and fight traffic. The ceremony was completely disjointed. The bride stood at the back of the church, for about 5 minutes, waiting for her processional song to start. The ceremony ended and the B/G's limo didnt show up. So she ask if she could borrow our car and we could drive with someone else. Keep in mind there was a 2 hour gap.

    I walked into the reception. No assigned tables, fine no problem, and went to look for a seat. It turns out that there were seats for half the guests. The bride expected people to rotate or share tables. That didnt happen. By 9pm the same people were still sitting at the tables. H and I finally went through the buffet line. All the food was gone and 30 people still hadnt eaten, including the B&G. H finally asked a few people to more who were just camped out. So we ate at a dirty table.

    Then the bride was mad because no one was dancing. Well, the people who ate first had already danced a few songs and were ready for cake (which never came) and the rest of use were just sitting down for dinner.

    At that point we gave up on the wedding and drove through a McDonalds on the way home.

    I got an email from this bride last week saying she wants to quit her job to be a wedding planner/ DOC. And would I recommend her... um no.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    aurorajanetteSP29mrsfinnithemuffinman16
  • OK, I will play.

    H and I went to a wedding, on a Friday, in the middle of the afternoon. So we both had to leave work early and fight traffic. The ceremony was completely disjointed. The bride stood at the back of the church, for about 5 minutes, waiting for her processional song to start. The ceremony ended and the B/G's limo didnt show up. So she ask if she could borrow our car and we could drive with someone else. Keep in mind there was a 2 hour gap.

    I walked into the reception. No assigned tables, fine no problem, and went to look for a seat. It turns out that there were seats for half the guests. The bride expected people to rotate or share tables. That didnt happen. By 9pm the same people were still sitting at the tables. H and I finally went through the buffet line. All the food was gone and 30 people still hadnt eaten, including the B&G. H finally asked a few people to more who were just camped out. So we ate at a dirty table.

    Then the bride was mad because no one was dancing. Well, the people who ate first had already danced a few songs and were ready for cake (which never came) and the rest of use were just sitting down for dinner.

    At that point we gave up on the wedding and drove through a McDonalds on the way home.

    I got an email from this bride last week saying she wants to quit her job to be a wedding planner/ DOC. And would I recommend her... um no.

    I tipped over laughing when I read the last line. Of course, a wedding planner! Such a simple thing to do.
    KatWAGmrsfinniCoeur
  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    edited November 2013
    ohannabelle I think I'll even amend my statement to, I may have actually followed through with the bridesmaid duties even make the dish, but day of wedding, I'd "accidently trip" which is easy to do in heals in grass, and make sure to splatter the entire dish on rudebride's gown >:P but that would be wroooooooong.

    Anyway, I am really loving this post and I think it should be a post-it or sticky whatever you all call it, because this is a wonderful non-threatening way to show future brides like myself WHAT NOT TO DO :) and by talking about other people's weddings, nobody can be on the defensive, and gives honest feedback about what your guests are really thinking about other people's weddings.

    With that said, here's my story, fortunately for me, I haven't really experienced a truely "horrible wedding" like some of you ladies have, and it sounds like in some cases, the bride may have really planned for everything, but the vendors or someone else can also spoil an otherwise good wedding, but then again there are some seriously clueless or asshat people out there.

    One of my former bff's wedding was actually very beautiful and it was what they wanted but my own experience with it wasn't that awesome.

    I will say this, most of my friends have had some sort of cash bar, so that never really bothers me, as long as some type of non-water drink is hosted, but this wedding was properly hosted, everyone got fed, everyone got cake and nobody had to pay for drinks, but it was a dry wedding anyway :-/ Dry weddings aren't always fun for me, but it depends on the dynamics, anyway different strokes for different folks, so I'm not going to judge that decision. I did notice a correlation between the no alcohol and little to no people on the dance floor except the children.

    Now this is where I felt this warranted one of the worst weddings I've attended.

    1. My fiance who I had only been with for a month at the time of the wedding wasn't invited to I had to attend solo, which kinda sucked but he probably wouldn't have felt comfortable coming anyway since our relationship was still new, and it was after I had RSVPed, so NBD, but I would have had more fun with him there and I would have probably danced more.

    2. Barely anyone was dancing except my friends and I and the kids.

    3. Now for the worst part, at the end of the reception, because the bride and groom were trying to have low budget wedding, no janitorial staff was hired for the event, so all of the guests were expected to put away all of the chairs tables, etc and basically clean everything up, and I had to do this in heals, which I ended up taking off because my feet hurt so bad. And the sucky thing was that people would get dirty looks from other guests if they weren't helping enough or just wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening socializing. My other besty felt guilty because her and her fi left early because they didn't want to stay and help clean up. NO GUEST SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY OR BE EXPECTED TO DO ANYTHING at a wedding except have a good time.

    Sorry that was so long winded.
    ohannabelle[Deleted User]grumbledoreCoeur
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    3. Now for the worst part, at the end of the reception, because the bride and groom were trying to have low budget wedding, no janitorial staff was hired for the event, so all of the guests were expected to put away all of the chairs tables, etc and basically clean everything up, and I had to do this in heals, which I ended up taking off because my feet hurt so bad. And the sucky thing was that people would get dirty looks from other guests if they weren't helping enough or just wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening socializing. My other besty felt guilty because her and her fi left early because they didn't want to stay and help clean up. NO GUEST SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY OR BE EXPECTED TO DO ANYTHING at a wedding except have a good time.

    Sorry that was so long winded.

    Can't get out of the quote box.  But I am in total agreement on this.  Guests should never be expected to be part of setup or cleanup.  When one of my cousins got married (she was the sister of the groom in the wedding I posted about earlier in this thread) she made two very big mistakes in planning her wedding: 1) She had everyone eat outdoors in a windy area, so everything was blowing all over the place and 2) she made no provisions for hiring someone to clean up.  Apparently she thought it was going to happen magically on its own.  Our family (she did it in the party room of my parents' condo) ended up having to do it.  It was really annoying.
    Amyzen83
  • I should throw this warning out in advance: this was not the fault of the bride or groom!

    Years ago FI and I attended his cousin's wedding out of town. We met his mom and stepfather in the hotel lobby prior to walking to the ceremony. We get down there and to our absolute horror find FI's insufferable tool of a stepdad is wearing a kilt. This is not his normal day to day look. He's just particularly thrilled with his Scottish heritage. This wasn't even his side of the family nor was it a "proudly wear your family heritage garb" themed event. Nope, this guy just looooves to draw attention to himself in any way he can. He's a real piece of work. It got better of course. After many single malts at the reception later he started inviting all the ladies to take a gander up said kilt and confirm his "commando" status. It was awful. 

    We're excited to see if he owns a summer-weight kilt for our DW in Mexico next year. Because wool tartan plaid sounds miserable in the tropics ;-)

    Amyzen83grumbledoresarahsmiles326
  • I should throw this warning out in advance: this was not the fault of the bride or groom!


    Years ago FI and I attended his cousin's wedding out of town. We met his mom and stepfather in the hotel lobby prior to walking to the ceremony. We get down there and to our absolute horror find FI's insufferable tool of a stepdad is wearing a kilt. This is not his normal day to day look. He's just particularly thrilled with his Scottish heritage. This wasn't even his side of the family nor was it a "proudly wear your family heritage garb" themed event. Nope, this guy just looooves to draw attention to himself in any way he can. He's a real piece of work. It got better of course. After many single malts at the reception later he started inviting all the ladies to take a gander up said kilt and confirm his "commando" status. It was awful. 

    We're excited to see if he owns a summer-weight kilt for our DW in Mexico next year. Because wool tartan plaid sounds miserable in the tropics ;-)
    Oh no!!!! I'd be so furious!!! Forget how tacky I think jeans are!!! But that's kind of funny :D
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    So I've never attended a horrendous wedding (I've actually only ever been to two weddings), but my best friend since high school had some choice moments that still to this day rub me the wrong way. I was a MOH in her wedding and it made me never want to participate in another wedding and turned me off to having a wedding party of my own.

    The first was her insistence on having two bridal showers. Her first was hosted for her by her mom and grandmother and was a joint celebration for her and her cousin as they were getting married within a week of each other and very close. Well, my BFF decided that she had friends that she didn't think would act appropriately (meaning they would be loud and obnoxious) so she wanted her bridesmaids to throw her a completely separate shower for the girls she felt she couldn't invite to the other shower. So I shelled out hundreds of dollars to throw a very nice shower that all of SIX people showed up to (many more than that were invited). It was completely unnecessary, a waste of time and money, and, after everything I've read so far on this site, it was rude and in bad taste for her to require a second bridal shower.

    The other issue was with her bachelorette party. Again, the bridal party obviously wanted to throw her a bachelorette party as a way to let loose and have fun but again, she had very specific demands. She didn't want to go out in our town, or the city close by. No, we had to travel two hours away and stay at a fancy casino overnight. I slept on the floor despite contributing to the cost of this excursion while the rest of the girls (some who paid nothing towards this) slept on couches or the beds in the hotel rooms.

    There were so many other little things that I could go on and on about but those two were the biggest things. You don't get to request a second bridal shower because you don't think your friends can act like grown ups around your friends (which is offensive to said friends as well, though they didn't know anything about the first shower). And I understand that she wanted to have fun at her bridal shower, but she wasn't paying for a dime of it. All in all I spent far too much money to give in her ridiculous requests that she wasn't all that appreciative of and it completely soured the experience for me.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    aurorajanetteAmyzen83PrettyGirlLost
  • I should throw this warning out in advance: this was not the fault of the bride or groom!

    Years ago FI and I attended his cousin's wedding out of town. We met his mom and stepfather in the hotel lobby prior to walking to the ceremony. We get down there and to our absolute horror find FI's insufferable tool of a stepdad is wearing a kilt. This is not his normal day to day look. He's just particularly thrilled with his Scottish heritage. This wasn't even his side of the family nor was it a "proudly wear your family heritage garb" themed event. Nope, this guy just looooves to draw attention to himself in any way he can. He's a real piece of work. It got better of course. After many single malts at the reception later he started inviting all the ladies to take a gander up said kilt and confirm his "commando" status. It was awful. 

    We're excited to see if he owns a summer-weight kilt for our DW in Mexico next year. Because wool tartan plaid sounds miserable in the tropics ;-)
    Oh no!!!! I'd be so furious!!! Forget how tacky I think jeans are!!! But that's kind of funny :D
    We laughed about it afterward but at the time it sucked. We spent a lot of time away from our table. FI stepdad is the one thing besides the weather that worries us for Mexico next year. None of my family has ever met him. And as accepting as they are, I doubt they're going to like the guy. He doesn't have any redeeming qualities. At least he'll offer comedic relief for any stressful moments! 

    Amyzen83
  • Schatzi13 said:
    Regarding some of the recent posts: I've now seen two wedding websites that say something like: "oBTWguyz, we could totally use ur help with our budgetDIYspeschulday so plz volunteer!!" One couple followed this up with emails to the entire guest list as it got nearer. I imagine their poor parents, siblings, and WP ended up with all of the work in the end.

    Also, question: is "budget DIY" the trendy new snowflake excuse? Many rude things I've seen at or around weddings lately have been excused by one or both of these terms, and many of the more painful postings on here use them, as well.
    My friend used it as her excuse to not serve dinner at her wedding, which was at dinnertime. That and the fact that she and her H are vegetarians, which she said would piss some of her guests off. No honey, everyone would have been happier with a plate of pasta then with nothing at all.

    It really pissed me off because she admitted that she spent thousands on her dress, but it was a "budget" wedding, so they didn't have enough chairs or any food.  Bull shit.

    I'm not putting down budget or DIY weddings, since I'm having a budget wedding. Just be sure that if you're going that route, you are still being accommodating to her guests. There are so many ways to cut corners to save yourself money (centerpieces & other decorations, wine/beer open bar, etc.) without being rude.
    [Deleted User]
  • Jen4948 Yea, I believe I read about your situation in your post, I think it's crappy for a bride and groom to be sooo cheep that they can't pay for proper clean up people and make the guests do that work. I should also mention that if you are using items from your house to decorate your reception, and you don't trust strangers handling your possessions, then A) make sure your coordinator is on top of this, or B) Find creative alternatives or use stuff around your house where if for whatever reason you lose it, it's NBD. FYI, I'm having a budget DIY style wedding, but I can assure you my guests aren't allowed to do sh--- except enjoy themselves, there will be food and drink properly hosted - NO GHETTO POTLUCK and I will make sure to hire others to clean up after our wedding. I also forgot to mention that as a gift, I designed her wedding programs and stupid seating chart- which was a pain in the ass to design because I had to wait for all her guests responses, and all of the info she gave me was last minute, so I pretty much had to drop my other plans to get these done for her, and she was annoyed she had to pay rush charges for printing... Grrrrrrrrrrr!
    [Deleted User]
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