• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Etiquette

Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

17810121320

Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    LADIES I CAN'T EVEN.

    I wrote a while back about my future brother-in-law's wedding, which was terrible. He's an all right person, but his wife is just terrible and unbearable.

    Tonight, my future mother-in-law and I were talking about our wedding, and my future sister-in-law started criticizing our plans. My partner and I were talking about how my friend's wedding was great, but we didn't know anyone and were seated with 4 other people who knew each other and froze us out, FSIL said, "Well, that's why you shouldn't assign seats! That's all you remember from that wedding! WE didn't assign seats."

    YEAH, they didn't assign seats, and we complain about it ALL THE TIME. It was awful! At least we were properly hosted at my friend's wedding; she didn't know that the people we were seated with would be unfriendly!

    Later, she asked us what we were doing for flowers. I told her we weren't having flowers (we're not). She said, "Well, I LOVE flowers. You should let me do your flowers." I repeated, "We are not doing flowers. We are making paper flowers." She replied, "Well, you really should do flowers, they're not that expensive."

    How would she know? She made guests BRING FLOWERS for her centerpieces!! She didn't pay for them or arrange them!

    My head might explode, ladies.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    @88beautymarked I'm sorry the bride badmouthed your cake. How hurtful. Hugs
    ________________________________


    perdonami
  • My worst story is a wedding i never actually went to. At work, i was handed an invite, which surprised me because FI and I hadn't spoken to B&G for at least 2 years, after a falling out. Opened invite and saw an RSVP date that was the day before. B list much? Insult to injury, Groom facebook messaged me (we're not even friends on Facebook because he defriended me some time ago) that they would looove to have us, let him know asap if we were going. I then got multiple messages that same night, asking if we were coming, which I ignored. Last message went something like, 'we changed our mind, and think it wouldn't be a good idea if you guys came.' Really? Did you honestly think I was even considering spending my time or money on you? I still see the bride all the time, as we work together...and she pretends nothing happened. It was honestly the most ridiculous thing I have ever experienced. And the fact that they weren't ashamed at all blows my mind. Don't B list. Just don't. You may think you're being slick and no one will notice, or you're doing someone a favor by inviting them to go, but you're not.
    This. 100%.

    A few years ago at my last job I hired a new employee a month before her wedding. The Friday before she came up to me before leaving work and said, "I know you didn't get an invitation, but I'd love for you to attend the later part of my reception... you know, after dinner." They had their wedding at a night club. They had the ceremony and a catered dinner, and then the rest of the reception was just dancing at the club with discount drinks.  She explained all this to me, and I declined on the spot and told her I was busy that night. This is a mix of B-listing and a tiered wedding, and neither are okay.

    I wasn't expecting an invite from my employee in the first place... let alone from someone I'd known for a month. And inviting your boss (or anyone) to a tiered wedding where they will have to pay for their own drinks, one day before the wedding is never a good idea.
    Amyzen83AshleyNicole1218MadHops21PrettyGirlLost
  • Here's mine, I'm sure I'm forgetting several things, but it's been a few years. So, my now FI, BF at the time went with me to this awful wedding. I had been asked to hang out with the BMs while they got ready, why I don't know... Also I had the coveted job of manning the guest book and taking the presents to the B&G's apartment. (My ex BF was the best man and he had volunteered me, joy!)

    When FI got to the venue, he was waiting outside with some other guests, when the bride's father and brother pulled up with speakers, tables, chairs and other things for the wedding. The father and brother both enlisted the guys to "help" bring in all the things. The brother proceeded to supervise and the father disappeared somewhere. 

    The wedding was fine, I got every last signature on that guest book too! As we made our way over to the reception, FI told me about his manual labor tasks. We get to the reception and there is a keg, okay, whatever. But later I found out that there was really nice champagne/liquor options, but only for the BP. The food was good, it was from a restaurant that the B&G worked for, they had asked the owner to give them the food for the reception as their wedding present.  Classy.

    After things are winding down, we are collecting the presents (I was mad that I had been volunteered, but FI calmed me and pointed out that we were getting off easy, as he points to the BP with brooms and mops cleaning the venue!) Okay, fine. I won't throw their presents into their apartment and run. The bride has been spending this time drinking heavily and making sure everyone will be at the bar after. She told the BP that they couldn't change yet, they had to go to the bar in their wedding attire, as she really wanted to show up there in her wedding dress still. UGH. So FI also convinces me that we should go, to be nice, plus we have to return their keys. Fine. So we go and she's there dancing and singing karaoke (yelling, actually for the bar to buy her drinks, since it's her wedding day). Fortunately, by this point FI is tired so we leave.

    After the wedding, we never received a thank you, verbal or otherwise, not surprised.

  • If enough of us bookmark this thread will it become a stickie???
    Amyzen83HaileyDancingbeargrumbledoreperdonami
  • I guess the worse would be from a friend of mine unfortunately. 

    First of all, she was legally married for 2 years but had a PPD. But she also never wore her wedding ring during the duration of the PPD planning, and would acknowledge her husband as a "fiancee" to everyone. And their anniversary is their PPD not the day they legally married (whatever)

    Sorry if I offend anyone here but:

    1. Her cocktail hour was in the same room as her reception, so there was no grand surprise and no change. Your seat was your seat and you were stuck there.

    2. The venue was suppose to only take (so she said) one wedding at a time, that wasn't the case and there were 3 weddings going on at once which made our room extremely tiny and tight (maybe they overbooked and didn't realize?) We were seated by a very hot lamp, it was uncomfortable.

    3. The food was all frozen food, nothing was fresh and you could taste that.

    4. There was no bar IN the room where the party was, you had to go out of your way for a drink. Only a few items were on the house, special drinks you had to pay for (what?)

    5. The DJ had TV screens to play videos and he accidentally (?) played a graphic video of two naked women kissing- true story. There were kids at this party...
    Amyzen83
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @Lily9911 I wouldn't be too bothered by the cocktail hour being in the same room as the reception. My friend's wedding was like that, and ours will be too.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    lizybeff
  • phira said:
    @Lily9911 I wouldn't be too bothered by the cocktail hour being in the same room as the reception. My friend's wedding was like that, and ours will be too.
    I understand some people need it to be that way, due to either money or the venue space. 

    My ceremony was actually IN the same room as my reception, only the entire place was cleared out during the cocktail hour an when everyone else went back into the ceremony room for the reception, it looked like a completely different room- which wowed some people (most didn't notice) 

    My friend talked up at the fact that she was going to have this grand cocktail hour room and then we would be put into this other grand room for the reception. 


    In the end we were all squeezed into a tiny room for everything. It was just stuffy and cramped, I had to go outside a lot during that wedding. 
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Lily9911 said:
    phira said:
    @Lily9911 I wouldn't be too bothered by the cocktail hour being in the same room as the reception. My friend's wedding was like that, and ours will be too.
    I understand some people need it to be that way, due to either money or the venue space. 

    My ceremony was actually IN the same room as my reception, only the entire place was cleared out during the cocktail hour an when everyone else went back into the ceremony room for the reception, it looked like a completely different room- which wowed some people (most didn't notice) 

    My friend talked up at the fact that she was going to have this grand cocktail hour room and then we would be put into this other grand room for the reception. 


    In the end we were all squeezed into a tiny room for everything. It was just stuffy and cramped, I had to go outside a lot during that wedding. 
    This is exactly what we're doing. I am very excited to show everyone the transformation!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
    Lily9911
  • Inkdancer said:

    This is exactly what we're doing. I am very excited to show everyone the transformation!
    There's something about a transformation that makes everything seem so much more special (in my mind) maybe I've watched too much David Tutera? 
    lizzypoo96
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Lily9911 said:
    Inkdancer said:

    This is exactly what we're doing. I am very excited to show everyone the transformation!
    There's something about a transformation that makes everything seem so much more special (in my mind) maybe I've watched too much David Tutera? 
    I probably have too, but I don't care! We're getting married in a chapel built in 1874, then everyone is going downstairs for cocktail hour, then coming back up to the main chapel to find the rows of chairs replaced with tables and a dance floor. I am gleeful just thinking about it. Dancing in the light coming through the stained glass windows is going to be gorgeous!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
    thisismynickname2AshleyNicole1218grumbledore
  • At the worst wedding I've been to, they ran out of food. Five (long) tables didn't get any food. My parents and I left early and, because the wedding was in the middle of nowhere, stopped at a gas station on the way home and pigged out on chips because we were starving.
  • Kerigirl9Kerigirl9 member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    I've been to 2 weddings that REALLY stuck out as awful.

    1)  Had a cash bar.  It was EXPENSIVE too!  $10/drink.  The wedding was a friend of DH's.  They invited DH's circle of friends, and invited one friend's parents (but no one else's parents)...because they're rich.  And they were obviously hunting for a large check.  The rich parents ended up paying for everyone's drinks because they were so disgusted by the cash bar.  The food was AWFUL.  The wedding ceremony was at 7 AM and the "lunch" started at 10:30am.  It was PAINFULLY obvious that it was all being done on the CHEAP.

    ETA:  The shower was a "jack and jill shower".  Where you paid an ADMISSION fee, then were solicited to buy raffle tickets.  They were raffling off gift baskets that the BP PAID FOR.  The food was cold pizza.  And another cash bar.

    2)  The cocktail hour was outdoors and it was FREEZING.  The reception site refused to let the guests in until it was "time".  So people sat in their cars because of how cold it was.  THEN the speeches...OMG the speeches.  The best man's speech was, "They say a good best man's speech should take no longer than it takes for the groom to fuck on his wedding night.  So thanks for coming out everyone."  The MOH's speech.... for reference, the MOH and Bride are twins.  The Bride met the Groom through the MOH, who was in the military with the Groom.  MOH gets up there and says, "Groom, you couldn't have me, so you had my sister."

    I was MORTIFIED for the couple.  It was SO awkward.  You could hear a pin drop.  I was waiting for Ashton Kutcher to come out and say, "You've just been punked."

    image
    GIFSoup
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    aurorajanetteAmyzen83PrettyGirlLostoffthemarket915
  • I love this. All of this. 

    I was born and raised in a small farm town/ community and so, so many of these breeches of etiquette are the norm around here. The cash bars, long gap periods, dollar dances, inviting people to the reception but not the ceremony, dictating dress and registry details on the invitation. The whole nine yards. If the majority of people posting on this thread ever lived out here or had to come to a wedding here you would have a coronary from all the improper etiquette.

    Luckily for me, even though I was born and raised here my parents were not and many of my immediate family is from out of the area so I realize that these things are not actually correct or proper. However, if I were to show this to the majority of girls I know that are engaged they would be shocked and probably insulted. 
    AshleyNicole1218
  • oh wow! this board is TK GOLD! Luckily I don't think we'll be making any of these faux pas (definitely not after reading this!) but I do want to share one awful wedding I didn't go to but was involved in...

    FI and our best man were invited to a HS friend's wedding. BM's girlfriend of 6 years and I (GF of 4 years at the time) were not invited, just the boys. Ok I get that the +1 situation is touch and go, but it's not like BM'sGF and I were new? I am not sure what the guest crunch was, as there were easily 200+ people at this wedding.

    The wedding was at the bride's parents' house in a VERY nice part of our area- in fact you had to drive miles down a dirt road to find the sprawling mansion. This was definitely a no cost spared event. The porta potties they rented were the most amazing things I had ever seen! 

    Few days before the event, the boys get a text from the groom asking them to come early to park cars at the wedding so they could be somewhat organized all over the property. Fine, they're nice guys and can never say no to help out their friends.

    They hitched a ride there and I offered to pick them up so they could drink. There was a nice mall nearby so I decided I'd go shopping and get a bite to eat around 8- and they said they'd text when they were ready for a ride but most likely 10.

    At 8, guests sat down for dinner. The bride (a dance teacher) had some of her students perform while everyone was seated. They then proceeded to put on an HOUR long recital meaning no one started eating til 9ish. It was a buffet, and by the time FI and BM got up there there was NO food. (Mind you this is not the first wedding this has happened with in this group of friends so these guys had already been through this before) So after these boys were not allowed to bring their dates, they were asked to come early to work, and then basically starved them at this ridiculously extravagant affair. They called for me to pick them up then and there and we stopped at McDonald's on the way home!
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Lily9911 said:
    I guess the worse would be from a friend of mine unfortunately. 

    First of all, she was legally married for 2 years but had a PPD. But she also never wore her wedding ring during the duration of the PPD planning, and would acknowledge her husband as a "fiancee" to everyone. And their anniversary is their PPD not the day they legally married (whatever)

    Sorry if I offend anyone here but:

    1. Her cocktail hour was in the same room as her reception, so there was no grand surprise and no change. Your seat was your seat and you were stuck there.

    2. The venue was suppose to only take (so she said) one wedding at a time, that wasn't the case and there were 3 weddings going on at once which made our room extremely tiny and tight (maybe they overbooked and didn't realize?) We were seated by a very hot lamp, it was uncomfortable.

    3. The food was all frozen food, nothing was fresh and you could taste that.

    4. There was no bar IN the room where the party was, you had to go out of your way for a drink. Only a few items were on the house, special drinks you had to pay for (what?)

    5. The DJ had TV screens to play videos and he accidentally (?) played a graphic video of two naked women kissing- true story. There were kids at this party...
    This is a pet peeve of mine.  Two of the three weddings I've been to in the last year did this.  Neither of them had passed apps either, so you got your drink and your little plate of cheese and crackers and were stuck with the same people for two - three hours.  It sucks.  I want to get up and mingle during cocktail hour and I don't want to have to hold a fucking plate along with my drink.
  • My "coffee" hour and my reception are in the same room, but the room can be sectioned off in the middle with a partition, so we are basically trying to make it look like two rooms.  I hope that I avoid the confusion then.  
    imageimage
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer

    kerbohl said:
    My "coffee" hour and my reception are in the same room, but the room can be sectioned off in the middle with a partition, so we are basically trying to make it look like two rooms.  I hope that I avoid the confusion then.  
    I have sort of a similar situation.  Our reception will be in the upstairs event space of a restaurant.  So guests will go upstairs, and the dance floor is right at the top of the stairs.  Cocktail hour will be on the dance floor and in a side room which is open to the rest of the space.  The other half of the room, where the dinner tables are (and with a view of the NYC skyline, this is my favorite part) will be hidden behind a partition.  After cocktail hour, they will remove the partition and the party can take over the whole space.  If guests are really curious they can look around the partition, but I don't think they'll want to ruin the big reveal.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    banana468 said:
    Our cocktail hour and the rest of the reception were in the same room.   We had a table of cheese, crackers and fruit on the dance floor and the wait staff also served passed apps as guests mingled.

    Not splitting the reception venue into multiple venues is NOT rude.    This way we also allowed for each guest to have a seat at his or her plate if it was desired.   

    Complain if you'd like but it's a matter of personal taste and is in no way rude to host guests in the same room for the entire event. 
    Completely agree! What a weird thing to get so riled up about. The fact that someone expects a separate area for the ceremony, a separate area for the cocktail hour, and a separate area for the reception is really mind boggling. Most of the cocktail hours that are not in the same area as the reception don't have enough chairs for everyone (which is rude). 

    I actually like when cocktail hour is in the same area, because then I can put my bag/ and or coat down.  No one says you can't mingle- most people are not even at their seats at this time, so what is the problem?
    image
    image

    image


    indianaalumVivandiere8hellohkb[Deleted User]
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @banana568 I completely agree. I can't fathom how it's rude to have cocktail hour and reception in the same room. At my friend's wedding, most people were up and mingling (walking around and standing while talking in groups) during cocktail hour, and there were plenty of passed apps and a great cheese/fruits/veggies station. We were relieved that cocktail hour was in the same room as the reception because my partner was very sick and wanted to sit down. We were able to sit at our seats and not miss out on cocktail hour.

    Not having a big reveal of the reception isn't rude or bad hosting.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    Vivandiere8hellohkb
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I also don't see how it's rude to have an entire event in the same room. I mean, no one is chaining you to your seat. If you see someone you want to talk to, you can stand up and go talk to them. No one will tell you not to get up and walk around. Your seat will still be there when you come back. I actually like this because then I know there's seats for everyone and I have a seat I can count on having all night.
    hellohkbgen148
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2013
  • banana468 said:
    Our cocktail hour and the rest of the reception were in the same room.   We had a table of cheese, crackers and fruit on the dance floor and the wait staff also served passed apps as guests mingled.

    Not splitting the reception venue into multiple venues is NOT rude.    This way we also allowed for each guest to have a seat at his or her plate if it was desired.   

    Complain if you'd like but it's a matter of personal taste and is in no way rude to host guests in the same room for the entire event. 
    This is how we do things around here also.  I like being able to put my things at my seat and not balance my coat, camera, drink, and app at the same time.
    [Deleted User]
  • I never said that having the cocktail hour and reception in the same room was rude, just that I don't like it.  My experiences with using one space is that everyone takes their seat for dinner and pretty much stays there, unless they're going to the bar.  If mingling occurred, I would mind less, but I still prefer having a distinct space for ceremony, cocktails, and reception.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ven&Radio said:
    I never said that having the cocktail hour and reception in the same room was rude, just that I don't like it.  My experiences with using one space is that everyone takes their seat for dinner and pretty much stays there, unless they're going to the bar.  If mingling occurred, I would mind less, but I still prefer having a distinct space for ceremony, cocktails, and reception.
    For cocktail hour I have never seen this; you have some boring friends, or boring friends of friends, because this has not been my experience at all. Yes, once dinner starts people stay in their seat because they are having dinner, and the bride and groom usually do table visits at that time. 
    image
    image

    image


    hellohkb
  • KeepMovingOnKeepMovingOn member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2013

    AndreaR91 said:
    I love this. All of this. 

    I was born and raised in a small farm town/ community and so, so many of these breeches of etiquette are the norm around here. The cash bars, long gap periods, dollar dances, inviting people to the reception but not the ceremony, dictating dress and registry details on the invitation. The whole nine yards. If the majority of people posting on this thread ever lived out here or had to come to a wedding here you would have a coronary from all the improper etiquette.

    Luckily for me, even though I was born and raised here my parents were not and many of my immediate family is from out of the area so I realize that these things are not actually correct or proper. However, if I were to show this to the majority of girls I know that are engaged they would be shocked and probably insulted. 
    I'm in a similar situation. However, my parents, although raised out of the area, have only been to a handful of weddings (out of dozens) that did NOT have a cash bar, so they think that it's perfectly acceptable and the norm. When I'm casually talking with my friends about plans for the reception and I mention that we most likely won't have any alcohol because an open bar is not in our budget, they all recommend just having people pay for their own drinks. It's what is expected around here. I'm having a very difficult time convincing people (friends, family) that it's not "proper etiquette." My parents think I'm a snob for not wanting to have a cash bar. While I'm not nearly as "proper" as many people on this board seem to be (going to a wedding with a cash bar does not bother me at all), I'd still like to offend the fewest amount of people possible. 

    One thing that even I thought was weird was when a couple opened their gifts at the reception. Even though I come from a circle where wedding etiquette doesn't matter, it made me uncomfortable. 
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    laurynm84 said:
    Ven&Radio said:
    I never said that having the cocktail hour and reception in the same room was rude, just that I don't like it.  My experiences with using one space is that everyone takes their seat for dinner and pretty much stays there, unless they're going to the bar.  If mingling occurred, I would mind less, but I still prefer having a distinct space for ceremony, cocktails, and reception.
    For cocktail hour I have never seen this; you have some boring friends, or boring friends of friends, because this has not been my experience at all. Yes, once dinner starts people stay in their seat because they are having dinner, and the bride and groom usually do table visits at that time. 
    That is what I was thinking.   The only time people in my social group stay put is during dinner. That's it.  All the other times more than half the seats are empty because people are at the bar, dance floor or just anywhere other than their seat.   And those that stay put are normally the old people who have difficulty getting around.  The rest of us just to go them.

    We were to have 3 separate areas but Tropical Storm Hannah ruined that for us.    It was still one awesome party with lots of mingling going on.


    I guess if I had to pick the worse wedding I went to was my brother's.  There was a gap (which was unheard of in our circle).   That in itself was not horrible, but the BP was taken to the reception area of pictures. Okay, not big deal.  After pictures we were told in no uncertain terms that we had to setup the receptions.  And by setting up the reception I mean moved tables, chairs, put on tablecloths, etc. In our dresses mind you.   That was a serious WTF moment?  I was not happy, hell 17 years later I still get worked up over when I think about it (which is only here on TK when we have these types of threads.)  

    Oh, the headtable was on a stage and was too small for the BP.   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • That sucks! I'm sorry but the only thing a guest needs to do is show up to the wedding, not set it up!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards